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I don't really think that would fit him but I'll consider it
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    Whispers Cost | Discussion August 7, 2022 04:48 PM

Lost Memories
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Posts: 6316
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I love all of those very much, and some of them also terrify me, but, that's how it goes XD
-
As for my planned plot points, I don't have too many, but I have a few...
1. Ambrose is really just going to keep getting worse and worse with mental health stuff, so expect more illusions and such
2. Esta's going to reveal Felicia at some point, but as more of an accedent... Surprise, this'll actually end in an argument between her and Isabella because of previous relationship they both had... yeah, you'll see, it's not gonna be pretty
3. Agni will indeed attampt to take the first step to becoming a real family, and, depending on how it goes, he may fall into much worse shape than he was previously
4. Karma being genuinly nice and caring for Ambrose and Illon... possibly becoming the most stable of the three as Ambrose worsens... that being said, they are definitly not stable.
5. Along the same lines Karma being confused on why they care to help these two so much and what the hell is going on-
--
That's all I've got so far
    Whispers Cost | Discussion August 7, 2022 05:19 PM

Lost Memories
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Also, more quotes because I'm obsessed :D
-
Karma: The first time I ever got upset in front of Ambrose, they put their arms around me and it was so awkward that I had to ask them if they were hugging me or reaching for something on the shelf behind me.
Ambrose: I was doing both, for your information.
Illon : The first time Ambrose hugged me, it was such a disaster we didn’t make eye contact for, like, a week after.
-
Illon : What, in the name of sanity, have you got on your head?
Ambrose: It's a fez, I wear a fez now. Fezzes are cool.
Karma: *snatches the fez, throws it in the air*
Illon : *shoots it*
-
Illon : Last night I found out Ambrose is a sleep talker.
Karma: Oh, really?
Illon : "The mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell." Right. In. My. Ear. At 3am.
-
Isabella: It smells like henway in here.
Salen:
Esta: Salen.
Esta, forcefully: Doesn't it smell like henway in here?
Salen: *sigh*
Salen: What's a henway?
Isabella: OH ABOUT TEN POUNDS!
-
Isabella: Why doesn’t Esta find me sexy when I bite my lip?
Salen: What do you look like when you bite your lip?
Isabella: *bites lip*
Salen: ...Have you considered biting your bottom lip instead?
-
Salen: Who else is hiding in the laundry room trying to listen to Agnar and Illon's convo?
Isabella: Me. I'm in the laundry basket.
Esta: I'm in the washing machine.
Eni: I'm in the closet.
Isabella: We accept you Eni. <3
Eni: No I'm literally in the closet.
Isabella: Love is love. <3
-
Squad reactions to being called straight:
Karma: The fuck, no I'm not.
Agnar: Excuse the hell out of you?
Illon: Ding dong, you are wrong!
Salen: Who told you that? And why did they lie?
Eni: Rude.
Isabella: *punches the person*
-
*The squad's reaction to being told they're the chosen one*
Agnar: I will not let you down.
Isabella: Sounds fun.
Illon: K.
Karma: No, I'm fucking not.
Esta: Do I have to be?
Eni: Please god, I am so tired.
-
Illon, to the Squad: I’d die for you.
Amel: Then perish.
Eni: You will.
Esta: Please don’t.
Karma: Cool.
Ambrose: I’d die for you first.
-
Blair: Hey, Agnar, what do you think it would be like if we had kids?
Agnar: What would it be like? Inconvenient, mostly.
Blair: No, I mean, what would they be like, the kids? You ever think about it?
Agnar: Can't really say I have.
Blair: You know, for someone as eccentric as yourself, you can be boring as fuck sometimes.
Agnar: Sorry, Blair. For what it's worth, I'm picturing them now. A boy and a girl. Two perfect little freaks of nature raised by people who've clearly got no business bringin' up anybody.
-
Agnar: Come to dinner tonight. I can’t cook, but I’ll bring plenty of free wine.
Blair: Marry me.
-
Agnar, throwing their head into Blair's lap: Tell me I'm pretty!
Blair, lovingly stroking their hair: You're pretty fucking annoying, that's what you are.
-
Blair: Do you want to know your gay name?
Agnar: My... my gay name?
Blair: Yeah, it's your first name-
Agnar: Haha. Very funny Blair-
Blair: *gets down on one knee* And my last name.
Agnar: Oh- oh my god.
-
Blair: *angrily presses Agnar against a wall* WHERE'S THE MONEY?!
Agnar: ...
Agnar: Are we about to kiss-
-
Agnar: We’re getting married, bitches!
Blair: And we're about to make it everybody else's problem.
-
Ambrose: So... who's the big spoon and who's the little spoon?
Illon: We're chopsticks!
Ambrose: Well... that's cute!
Ambrose: Does that mean you two snuggle together perfectly?
Karma: No, it means that if you take the other away, the only thing the other is good for is stabbing.
-
Ambrose: What happened to Illon?
Karma: They died.
Ambrose: They what?
Karma: They died, but they’re okay.
Ambrose: …Can you please clarify?
Illon: Clarification is for the weak.
    Whispers Cost | Discussion August 7, 2022 05:46 PM

Overthink101
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Alright, based on those last two plot points I'm going to give you one more of the planned plot points of mine-
8. Illon will actually kind of stabilize at some point, until the run in with Benvolio, and then they will not be stable.
-
I'm watching a movie right now so I'm slightly distracted lmao
    Whispers Cost | Discussion August 8, 2022 09:49 AM

Overthink101
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Have some Benvolio and Illon incorrect quotes.

Illon: My friends say I'm the most charismatic out of the group.

Benvolio: Well, you always have a smile on your face.

Illon: Thank you.

Benvolio:

Benvolio: What drugs do you take?

-

Benvolio, to Illon: If you can ever manage to get over yourself, I would highly recommend being me.

-

Illon: It’s not gonna work, I’m not a snitch.

Cop: Fine, let's try something else. Tag a friend you recently committed a crime with.

Illon: Lmao, @Benvolio.

-

Illon: Change is inedible.

Benvolio: Don’t you mean inevitable?

Illon, spitting out a bunch of pennies: No, I really didn’t.

-

Illon: Bro-

Benvolio: No, no, hold up, rewind.

Benvolio: My tongue was down in your throat just a second ago and now you're calling me bro??

-

Illon: I’m totally useless.

Benvolio: You’re not totally useless.

Benvolio: You can be used as a bad example.

-

Illon: I think I'm falling for you.

Benvolio: Then get up.

-

Illon, texting Benvolio: *sends a voice message*

Benvolio, texting back: I’m a little busy, is it urgent?

Illon: No, don’t worry, just listen later.

*later*

Benvolio: *presses play*

Illon's voice message: THERE’S A FIRE-

-

Illon: I'm usually that person who has no idea what's going on.

-

Illon: *closes a cabinet*

*a crash is heard behind the cabinet door*

Benvolio: What was that?

Illon: The sound of someone else's problem.

-

Illon: Good morning. As you begin your day, remember that violence is always an option and often the answer.

Benvolio:

Illon:

Benvolio: ...Please, go back to bed.

-

Blair: Alcohol is delicious! ...I mean, MAlicious. Sorry guys, I’m really drunk right now.

-

Benvolio: I want to kiss you.

Illon, not paying attention: What?

Benvolio: I said if you die, I won't miss you.

-

Illon: Can you pass the salt?

Benvolio: Can you pass away?

Illon: Too much salt.

-

Illon: Hey besties-

Benvolio: Die.

Illon: What did I do to you-

-

Illon: Oooh, a train!

Benvolio: We’re in a train station, Illon.

-

Benvolio: What is the one thing I told you not to do?

Illon: Burn the house down.

Benvolio: And what did you do?

Illon: I made dinner.

Benvolio:

Illon:

Benvolio:

Illon: And burnt the house down.

-

Illon: Everything will be ok. You can not stop it.

Illon: Everything will be fine. You have no choice.

Benvolio: What the fuck kind of pep talk is that?

Illon: Ominous positivity.

-

Illon: I'm naturally funny because my life is a joke.

-

Illon: *on the phone* Hey Benvolio, do you know my blood type?

Benvolio: Of course, it's O+.

Illon: Oh, I guessed wrong. Excuse me, nurse-!

-

Benvolio: The stars are so beautiful...

Illon: They're just giant balls of gas.

Benvolio: You know what, if you're just going to ruin this, then-

Illon: And yet none of them are as huge as my love for you.

Benvolio: Oh…

-

Benvolio: Did you win? Or just not die?

Benvolio: Either way, hooray.

Illon: ...Is "no" a valid answer?

Benvolio: The hooray is redacted and you frighten me.

-

Benvolio: My future partner must be brave, strong, intelligent, successful and organized.

Illon: *steps on a caterpillar and proceeds to drop to their knees and sob while apologizing profusely*

Benvolio: That one. I want that one.

-

Illon: Thank you for not saying "I told you so."

Benvolio: When you’re as right as I am, you don’t have to say it.

-

Illon: Pardon the intrusion, but-

Benvolio: On this moment or just my life in general?

-

Benvolio, to Illon: You're not Mario. Lets get something fucking straight, you're Luigi at best.

-

Benvolio: I'm going to take a shower, I'll be right back.

Illon: Why are you telling me this, I don't care.

Illon, right after Benvolio leaves the room: I miss them already.

-

Benvolio: Treat spiders the way you want to be treated.

Illon: Killed without hesitation.

-

Illon: Why aren’t you sleeping?

Benvolio: I’m too busy plotting your murder to sleep, Illon.

Illon:

Benvolio: ...The nightmares.?

Illon: *wrapping their arms around Benvolio* Awwww, sweetie-

-

Illon: Life keeps fucking me and I can't remember the safeword.

-

Illon: If I stay in bed I'll be warm. If I get in the shower, I'll also be warm. But the distance between the bed and shower? No. That is not warm.

-

Illon: I am a responsible adult!

Benvolio: *raises brow*

Illon: I am an adult.

-

Illon: ...This is one of those moments where it doesn't really matter what I have to say, isn't it?

-

Benvolio: That’s the key slice of truth we need to complete the entire truth pie.

Illon: Ooh, can we get some actual pie?

Benvolio: I like the way you think.

-

Illon: You were wise to seek help from the world's most deadly weapon.

Illon: It's me.

-

Benvolio: Tell me a little about yourself.

Illon: I'd rather not, I really like this group.

-

Benvolio: I’m going to hell.

Illon: Probably.

Benvolio: I'll pick you up?

Illon: *nodding* Carpool.

    Whispers Cost | Discussion August 8, 2022 08:05 PM

Lost Memories
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I'm just realizing I never did one of these for Isa, so enjoy the angst :)

Isabella- Best friend: Agnar

Anger, panic, and disbelief

Isabella watched with a quiet sigh as Agnar stormed out of camp, eyes glowing with anger and pain after another argument with Eni. The two had been arguing a lot recently, and Isa guessed it had something to do with Eni and Amel's new relationship. She couldn't blame the young ranger, this whole thing must feel like a big "fuck you" from whatever gods were around

Still, Isabella didn't like seeing her usually so optimistic friend so upset.

"Isa."

"Hm?" The second in command looked over when Esta lightly nudged her side. "What, sorry?"

The healer gave her a sympathetic look. "I asked if you wanted to help me with cooking? To get your mind off of things for a bit."

"Oh, yeah, sure." She shot another look over her shoulder before focusing on Esta and the task of cooking.

---

Isabella woke up early the next morning and yawned, sitting up and rolling her shoulders before rising and getting dressed. Agnar had taken the night shift again last night, simply by not coming back to camp. She'd debated going to find him and bring him back to camp then, but decided against it. Agnar didn't like discussing his emotions much, at least, not with her.

Isa didn't blame him for that, of course, but she did wish that the ranger would let himself rest a bit and open up rather than keeping it all inside. It wasn't healthy.

Once she exited her tent, however, she was surprised to find that her friend wasn't anywhere to be found. That was unexpected, he was always waiting at the edge of camp or the fire pit in the moring.

The second in command shrugged it off, though. Maybe he was just taking a little longer than normal to get back, or maybe him and Eni had made up and he was back at their tent.

The sinking feeling in Isa's stomache only got worse, however, as members of their group slowly started to emerge, and when Eni appeared, Agni wasn't with them.

"Eni!" Isabella trotted over to the mentor, who looked tired and sad, and lightly grabbed their shoulders. "Have you seen Agni?"

Their brow furrowed slightly. "No, he didn't return to our tent last night. Why?"

She cursed under her breath. It was late moring at this point, and if Angar wasn't back by now, it wasn't because he was running a little late.

"Okay," She turned and darted over to where her girlfriends were talking softly to each other at the edge of camp. "Hey, I'm going to go look for Agni, he's not back yet. Do you mind keeping everyone here until we come back?"

Esta's eyes widened. "He didn't come back? That's unusual, I hope he's alright!"

Salen looked calmer, but Isabella could see the hint of worry in her gaze. Everyone knew how odd it was that Agnar wasn't back yet. "Don't worry, we'll take care of it. Stay safe, Bella."

"Thank you, I will, love you both!"

And with that, Isa darted into the woods, her heart pounding as scenarios ran through her mind. Agnar was strong, and fast, and passionate, but he was human. He could get hurt, he could burnout, even if he seemed completely unaware of the fact most of the time. The guy could be a complete idiot when it came to his own limits, and when that happened he became more vulnerable. He was less aware of his surroundings, and that made other people more dangerous to him, and him more dangerous to himself.

She ran for what must have been fifteen minutes before she stopped abruptly when the land shifted, dropping off steeply. Isabella's heart dropped as she peaked over the edge. It was a long fall, and at the end of it lay a sprawled figure, dark liquid pooling around it's head.

"Nonono." Isa made her way down as quickly as possible, slipping a few times and scratching up her arms and legs, but she didn't care. The only thing she cared about was the boy at the bottom of the clif. "Come on, you idiot, be alive. Stay alive."

A minute later she was crouching in front of her best friend, pressing her fingers against the cold, pale skin. He looked like a complete mess, one of his arms twisted at an odd angle, legs both awkwardly bent, and neck snapped to one side, a bone jutting out from the fragile skin. He was obviously dead.

"No, no, you dumbass! What the hell did you do!" She grasped Agnar by the shoulders and heaved his limp body upward, shaking it a little. Tears stung her eyes. "Why, why would you do this?! You selfish bastard! Wake up! You aren't supposed to die! You aren't allowed to! You aren't! My rule! How fucking dare you break my rule."

The false anger faded quickly and Isabella was left clinging to the body of her friend, sobbing into his hair. "Come back, Agni, please. We're supposed to be family, just like you wanted, see? I want to be your big sister, we can do stupid shit together and get into trouble, but you have to wake up first, okay? Please?" The last word came out as a whimper and she let out a strangled sod. "Please."

It took twenty minutes for Bella to collect herself enough to pick up Agnar and start struggling up the hill again, and twenty more for her to make it back to the group.

Once she did, she slumped to the ground, setting Agnar's body down carefully, and started sobbing again. Almost immediately arms were around her and she let herself be drawn into the caring arms of her beloveds as she started the long process of recovering.

    Whispers Cost | Discussion August 10, 2022 02:27 PM

Lost Memories
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This just came to me randomly, but I think this is something that would happen
-
Karma and Illon: *Making self-deprecating jokes to each other about their mental health.*
Ambrose: *Makes a singular self-deprecating joke about his mental state*
Karma and Illon: *Immediate panic*
Illon: No, no, what happened? Are you okay?
Karma: Are you hurt? Who hurt you? I will murder them!
Ambrose: *Mildly terrified* I was just making a joke-
    Whispers Cost | Discussion August 11, 2022 09:29 PM

Lost Memories
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Posts: 6316
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Meanwhile, more quotes! Surpriseeee XD
-

Agnar: Here's some advice
Blair: I didn't ask for any
Agnar: Too bad. I'm stuck here with my thoughts and you're the only one who talks to me
-
Agnar: What if the 'g' in 'gif' is silent?
Blair: Go the fuck to sleep
Agnar: What gif I don't want to?
Blair: Fuck You
-
Agnar: Blair! My face is on fire!
Blair: Agnar! Are you ok?!
Agnar: Oh yes, I'm fine. I just said that to make sure you'd come in here quickly.
Blair: But your face is on fire.
Agnar: Yes. It's much faster than shaving.
-
Isabella, struggling to keep upright in their 1 inch heels: Yeah, I-I don’t really think heels are for me
Agnar, pointing at them and walking flawlessly in sparkly golden 6 inch heels: WEAK.
-
Blair: You often use humor to deflect trauma
Agnar: Thank you
Blair: I didn't say that was a good thing
Agnar: What I'm hearing is, you think I'm funny
-
Agnar: If there's going to be a big dramatic scene, wait until I get back.
Blair: Of course. I can't flip this table by myself.
-
Ambrose, driving Karma and Illon: So how was your day?
Karma: We almost got surprise adopted!
Ambrose: What?
Illon: We almost got kidnapped.
Ambrose: Oh, okay.
Ambrose: *slams on the breaks* WAIT WHAT?!
-
Store Worker: Would a Mx. Ambrose please come to the front desk?
Ambrose, arriving at the desk: Hello, is there a problem?
Store Worker: *points to Karma and Illon*
Store Worker: I believe they belong to you?
Karma and Illon, simultaneously: We got lost :(
Ambrose: I didn’t even bring you guys here with me-
-
Illon: If I accidentally sat on a voodoo doll of myself, would I be trapped forever in that position, doomed to starve to death?
Karma: How am I supposed to know?
Ambrose: You say, as if we don’t use you as a source of knowledge of the occult.
Karma: *sighs*
Karma: You wouldn't be trapped.
-
Illon: I told Karma their ears flush when they lie.
Ambrose: Why?
Illon: Look.
Illon: Hey Karma! Do you love us?
Karma, covering their ears: No.
Ambrose:
Ambrose: Awwwwww
-
*The squad is talking about what it'd be like to open up a homemade Pokemon gym*
Illon, joking: Karma's just sitting at the end, juggling- fushigi-ing 2 glass balls, in super tight pants, just waiting for their kid delivery once they best their minions.
Karma: Well they would be Pokeballs. And also it's not a kid delivery. There's no fucking guarantee that a kid that comes into the beginning of my crucible makes it to the end of it undefeated.
Karma: In fact, I'm gonna stack this gym! With fuckin pros!
Karma: It's- It's gonna be brutal. It's gonna be a torture gym.
Ambrose: Well- Well what's the theme? Are you like- is it a bug theme, or like-
Karma: YEAH, AMBROSE. UH- UH- UH- UH YEAH AMBROSE. IM GONNA OPEN UP A BUG TYPE POKEMON GYM. YOU IDIOT.
Karma: YEAH THAT'S WHAT I WANT, BECAUSE I WANNA GIVE- I WANNA SHIT OUT BADGES FOR EVERY HAM AND EGGER THAT COMES TO MY FRONT DOOR.
Illon: *Cracking up*
Karma: YEAH, AMBROSE. 'Uhh, go Caterpie! >~>' That's me, you FUCKING imbecile. 'Yeah go- uhhh- d-do your best, Kakuna!'
Karma: WHAT ARE YOU FUCKING TALKING ABOU- Yeah a ~bug type~ gym.
Ambrose:
Illon: Okaaay-
Ambrose: Alright, um, I'm gonna go. I've embarrassed myself...
Illon: Maybe fire? Fire type?
Ambrose: Yeah fire-based? Like- have fires?
Karma: Yeah, yeah I'll probably just- That's a good idea Illon. I'll probably just do a fire type one... SO THAT ONE KID WITH ONE BLASTOISE CAN FUCK UP MY WHOLE SHOP.
Karma: KILLED ALL OF US WITH ONE BLASTOISE, HUH? WOW. SHIT I SHOULD'VE-
Ambrose: Just do rock, then! Just do rock type!
Karma, voice dripping with contempt: The same Blastoise...
-
Illon: Fitness tip: never stop pushing yourself. Some say 8 hours of sleep is enough. Why not keep going? Why not 9? Why not 10? Strive for greatness.
Karma: Next time you’re working out do 15 push ups instead of 10. Run 3 miles instead of 2. Eat a whole cake instead of just a slice. Burn your ex’s house down. You can do it. I believe in you.
Ambrose: There were so many mixed messages in that I can’t-
-
(After Blair meets le gang)
Eni: Dammit, Blair!
Blair: What?! It wasn’t me!
Eni: Sorry, force of habit. Dammit, Agnar!
Agnar: Not me either.
Eni: Oh...Then who set the house on fire?
Isabella: *whistles*
-
Eni: I currently have 7 empty notebooks and I have no clue what to put in them. Suggestions?
Agnar: Put spaghetti in it.
Eni: I'm currently taking suggestions from literally anyone but you.
Blair: Put spaghetti in it.
Eni: I'm currently taking suggestions from anyone but you two.
Isabella: Put spaghetti in it.
Eni: I'm no longer taking suggestions.
-
Eni: I think Blair was right.
Isabella: I'm surprised they haven't marched in here to say 'I told you so.'
Agnar: They wouldn't do that.
Blair: You're right, Agnar. For once in your life, you're 100% right. I would never say that.
Blair: *turns around, the shirt they're wearing says 'Blair Told You So' on the back*
-
Esta: On the count of three, what's your favorite cake? One, two, three-
Esta and Isabella, in unison: Chocolate cake peanut butter frosting with chocolate chunks!
Agnar: Our turn, Blair! One, two, three- vanilla!
Blair, deadpan: I've never had cake, what is cake.
-
Eni: *Trying to fill out legal paperwork stuff* Were you guys born AMAB or AFAB?
Isabella: Bold of you to assume I was born at all.
Agnar: I personally was created in a lab.
Blair: I just straight up spawned lol.
-
Agnar: *Marches in to Eni's office and drops a stack of papers on their desk*
Eni: What is this, Agnar?
Agnar, deadpan: Adoption papers.
Eni: What?
Agnar: My friend Blair needs to be adopted now.
Eni: Agnar, I can't just adopt all your friends.
Agnar: If you don't do it, I will.
Eni: You can't-
Angar: I have perfected your handwriting style, your exact tone of voice, and your signature. Plus I have a you-sized, hand-made bodysuit. Try me, bitch.
Eni: *Silently starts filling out paperwork*
Agnar, running out of the room excitedly: Blair, guess what!
-
Eni: Tonight, one of you will betray us.
Isabella: Is it me, Eni?
Eni: No, it’s not you.
Agnar: Is it me, Eni?
Eni: It’s not you either.
Blair: Is it me, Eni?
Eni:
Eni, mockingly: Is IT mE Eni?
-
*Eni's helping Isabella out after they get injured, while the others are watching*
Agnar: How does Isabella look?
Blair: A little better than you, actually.
    Whispers Cost | Discussion August 12, 2022 03:57 PM

Overthink101
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Prompt: Write how your character would react to their best friend dying.

Illon - Bestie; Benvolio.

Warning! Tread very carefully, especially near the end. This is not void of angst.

Illon’s eyes blinked open, staring upwards at the ceiling. There was no fanfare, there hadn’t been any dreaming, and Illon wasn’t sure if they were glad or upset about that. Actually, they were sure. Sure that it was neither. The desire to stay laying there battled with the knowledge that they technically still had work to be done. From who knows how long ago.

--

Their legs didn’t want to move, nothing really wanted to move. The empty feeling in their stomach did little to convince them to try. The crushing, suffocating emptiness in their mind did a little better but they felt it was futile to truly expect it would work. Nothing worked. Nothing ever worked. Everything was a failure. They were nothing but a failure.

--

They didn’t notice their eyes blurring, they were staring at the ceiling from the couch still after all. What they did notice was tears rolling down their cheeks silently. They laid there, they weren’t sure how long. Their wall mounted phone rang, and rang, and rang. They couldn’t move. They didn’t really want to move.

--

They fell asleep. They didn’t dream. They woke up. They didn’t move. Rinse and repeat. Rinse and repeat. Time passed. They weren’t sure how much. They didn’t feel like finding out. Rinse and repeat. Would they starve like this? They weren’t really using any energy. Except in order to sleep. They supposed they could. Rinse and repeat. Their stomach gave a nauseating, painful stab the next time they woke up. They thought it was next time, at least. They weren’t sure. The feeling made them decide sleeping was better. Rinse and repeat.

--

The patterns kept up. They’d sleep for who knows how long, wake up, and then decide that it was better to be asleep. So then they’d sleep. Occasionally their phone would ring, occasionally they considered trying to get up. They were always asleep again before they could decide.

--

Until at some point, they woke up curled on the floor, clutching their side. Counting on involuntary movement during sleep in order to prove they were still capable of moving was never a fun thing. Especially when it was because of the near constant pangs of pain, hunger, and nausea coming from their stomach. It made them tear up.

--

The idea of trying to move was slightly more appealing now. They still fell asleep before they could decide. They felt as if they were woken up early next time though, and by a sharp stab of pain. They should probably move. Before their parents were forced to hear that they’d managed to die by starvation. Really, how could they have messed up this much? They didn’t deserve to live, sure, but they couldn’t let it be by starving.

--

They clenched their fingers at a new jolt of pain, glad that that way of forcing themself to move still worked. Being unable to move as they died from not eating anything recently wasn’t how they wanted to go. They’d much prefer something that wouldn’t cause their parents to blame themself. Like a bullet shot to the head. They had a gun around here somewhere, right?

--

A pang of hunger reminded them of their original task. And so, Illon forced their hands to move away from their side, forcing their hands to grasp at the ground. Their movements were slow, shaky, even for someone that hadn’t eaten in who knows how long. Stupid backlash. Stupid Illon. Everything was stupid. They just wanted to sleep. They were tempted to just let themself collapse, wave a white flag and say they tried. They considered it, but another stab of pain had them pushing themself up just so they wouldn’t be clutching their side again.

--

Once they got up, they managed to stumble their way to the kitchen. Only to find that there wasn’t any food to eat anyways. Well, there was. But the technological calendar/clock they had set up years ago said that two, if not two and a half, months had already passed… They had to go to the store if they wanted anything.

--

They felt like collapsing again, just letting hunger get them and being done with it. They didn’t feel like leaving. They didn’t feel like doing anything. They forced themself to make their way to the door, opening it and starting to make their way out when their foot connected with something. They looked down, a newspaper stared back at them. The date said it was old. They still picked it up. They were apparently very behind in the news.

--

They never started walking, a headline caught their attention. A headline and a picture. A picture of Benvolio, a headline with the word dead in it, a paragraph that held Ben’s full name in it.

--

They stumbled backward, stumbled over to their phone, stumbled with everything. Food could wait, they didn’t care. They never apologized to Ben, they never- They hadn’t even gotten to see him again after what happened- He couldn’t be dead, it was someone else and he was just injured. He was in the hospital and they were his emergency number so the hospital called them and they hadn’t ever picked up but Benvolio was fine.

--

There were no missed calls from the hospital. There were, however, missed calls from Ben. From before the date on the paper. They stood there, losing feeling in their feet, their fingers, slowly making its way up. They called back. It rang through. They called again. Ben was just busy. He didn’t answer. They tried again, tears welling in their eyes. Nothing, nothing, nothing. Ben had called them and they hadn’t answered! He hadn’t left any messages, Ben had never been a fan of them. Illon hadn’t answered. Hadn’t answered because they were too busy feeling sorry for themself.

--

Half-heartedly, they realized they also had missed calls from their parents. And messages. They didn’t listen to them. Food could wait too. Illon didn’t deserve it anyways. They deserved to die. Like Ben had. Had Benvolio called them as he did? Could Illon have managed to keep him alive?… Probably not. They still should’ve tried.

--

They started on their way back to the couch, they’d just sleep through starving. It was what they deserved. Their eyes drifted as they walked, or more so stumbled, numbly towards the couch. They caught sight of the singular gun they owned. It was always loaded, the safety was always on, an easy problem to fix. They grabbed it, the phone rang in the background, their father’s ringtone playing in their ears. They knew that Illon had seen the calls.

--

Illon sat back on the couch. Their stiff fingers fiddled with the safety on the handgun. Their phone kept ringing, going back and forth between their parents. Ben never called. Their parents stopped calling, the default ringtone of an emergency number started. Their hands shook, they leaned back, they didn’t answer the phone. And soon, they hopefully never would again.

--

It was slow moving, hunger pangs, being near starving to death, and the fact that they were beginning to lose movement again making everything harder. They swayed, their head went forward a bit, the barrel made connection with the underside of their jaw and chin. They opened their eyes to see their own hands, they focused, moving their hands to the trigger that they couldn’t see.

--

The sounds of… Some kind of emergency vehicle getting nearer only slightly registered in their ears. The phone was still ringing too, still not Ben. Ben was never going to call again. Their fingers stiffened, relaxed, jerked, and… Hopefully never again, would they be able to miss a call. Hopefully, there wouldn't be any calls needing to be answered soon.

    Whispers Cost | Discussion August 18, 2022 08:30 PM

Lost Memories
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Who wants more angst?~

Me! I do! So I made some. (Though it's pretty messy-)

Here ya go, lmao

---
Agnar: age 16
Lee: age 10

---

"Agni, be careful! We're gonna get caught!"

"Hush, Lee, we'll be fine, just be quiet."

The younger boy's nose scrunched up in disbelief as he glared up at his friend atop the tall wall surrounding the boy's home.

"I don't wanna be put in the closet though!"

Agnar clenched his jaw, concentrating on the tree he was attempting to reach, or, more specifically, the juicy red apples dangling from its branches.

"If we get caught I'll take the blame. You stop worrying so much."

Lee's hazel eyes widened. "But I don't want you to go to the closet either!" He gasped. "It's dark and cold in there, and they won't give you anything to eat!"

Agnar's fingers brushed one of the fruits and he let out a soft huff of annoyance. "Well then, let's not get caught, 'kay?"

"But Agni-"

"Got it!" He pulled back and let the apple drop down into the small basket in Lee's hands before reaching for another.

"Agnar!"

"What?" He didn't look up from his task.

"We have to go! The dinner bell's gonna ring in a minute!"

"Just a little longer."

"They take role at dinner, Agni, they're gonna know!"

"Okay, then go, Lee! I'll be there in just a second. We've almost got enough for everyone."

"We don't have time!" The younger boy's voice was growing more and more desperate as he watched Agnar, the person he considered his older brother (the same as most of the younger boys did here), put himself in a dangerous position just to give the rest of his temporary family a little joy, yet again.

"Just three more…"

"Agni, please!"

"Almost-"

The bell rang and Lee's heart dropped. Agnar cursed under his breath. "Go, Lee. Leave the basket, I'll get everything."

"But-"

Agnar glanced down and smiled. "I'll be fine, you go."

After another moment of hesitation, the younger boy placed down the basket and ran back to the building. Agni let out a calming breath and took his time picking the last of the apples before he carefully climbed down the wall and picked up the basket of apples. He walked at an easy pace back to the building and pushed the basket through the window of the sleeping area before climbing in and quietly hiding the basket in a small cut-out in the wall, a place where all the boys stored their small, special things, then made his way to the dining hall.

As soon as he stepped through the doors the headmistress of the house stood and smiled darkly at him. “Agnar, nice of you to join us.”

“Sorry, ma’am, seems I’m a bit too good at hide and seek.” He ruffled the hair of a nearby boy who giggled and swatted his hand playfully. “Took me a sec to realize no one was coming to find me!”

A ripple of laughter traveled through the youngest of the house members, while those who understood the weight of what was happening watched Agnar with sad, worried eyes.

“I see, well, let’s chat outside, shall we?”

“Sure.” Agnar’s eyes swept the room before landing on Lee’s, the other boy was watching with a pained expression. Agni smiled easily and winked before leaning down to the same boy whose hair he’d ruffled a moment ago and whispered in his ear. “There’s a special treat in our hiding spot for you all, okay? Make sure everyone gets some, and give Lee some extra hugs, for me, alright?”

The boy, Kage, looked up with bright green eyes and smiled widely, excitement in his gaze. “Okay!”

“Good, but remember, don’t tell Mistress, alright, it’s our brother's secret.”

The little boy puffed out his cheeks and pressed a finger to his lips, looking at Agni with a mischievous and admiring expression. One that reminded the older a lot of himself. “Thanks, Kage, I owe ya!”

He held up a hand and Kage slapped it hard in response. “Nuh-uh, brothers code, no owing anyone, remember?”

“Right.” Agnar’s smile turned a little sad. “Brothers code.”

He waved at the other children in the hall before trotting out the door to meet the headmistress who was watching him darkly. She sighed when the door fell closed behind him and shook her head in disappointment. “You’re such a smart kid, Agnar, and you do so well in school, I don’t understand why you keep throwing everything out the window.” She clucked her tongue and Agni shrugged, his smirk not wavering once. He’d heard all of this before. “You know, if you tried just a little harder maybe someone would actually love you.”

He flinched. That one stung. A lot.

“Alright, you know the drill. Closet, two days this time.”

Agnar said nothing and simply followed the lady to the small closet at the end of the hall, waiting until he heard the lock click before carefully sitting down and leaning against the door. The walls were all rough and uneven, meaning that if you tried to lay or shift against them and hit the wrong spots, they’d cut through skin. It was completely dark except for the sliver of light that came through the door crack, and it smelled of urine, feces, and mold, something that was inescapable. The only other thing occupying the closet was a small water fountain that was only reliable half of the time, and a bucket sitting against one wall. No food would be received while you were in here, no human interaction, no fresh air. It was cramped, and after a few hours Agnar’s muscles began to cramp up, but he didn’t shift. It was impossible to be comfortable in this hell hole, so there was no point in trying. The first time he’d been thrown in here, Agnar had screamed and cried until his throat was raw and his hands were bloody from pounding on the walls and doors, but he’d learned now, that the best thing to do was to stay silent and conserve energy. It was torture, but if you could find one happy thought it might be enough to keep you from spiraling. Agnar found his comfort in the excitement on the other children's faces as they saw and bit into the fresh apples and the laughter and joy that the bedrooms would be full of tonight. He smiled to himself. While he was here he was determined to give the boys here a sense of something that he, himself, did not know.

Family.


Edited at August 19, 2022 09:33 AM by Lost Memories
    Whispers Cost | Discussion August 31, 2022 01:17 PM

Lost Memories
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Sooo, I didn't mean to write this... I sat down and started writing and this just kinda happened...
It's not great, but, uh, here ya go, enjoy some of young Ambrose...

-

The golden grass swayed faintly in the warm wind and the young mother watched as her child, eight years old now, sat beside her on the blanket and stared at the sky with bright green eyes, wide with curious excitement that only a little kid could possess. At the same time, he had an air of knowledge about him that, on occasion, confused even his own mother. Now was one of those times, as he pointed up to the pastel blue sky and, rather than naming a cloud shape, looked directly into his mother's eyes and smiled.

“I see heaven.” He said, his voice so confident that it rendered the young woman speechless for a moment. That sentence was not exactly one you wanted to hear from an eight-year-old, after all, especially not your own child.

“No, darling, that’s the sky.” The woman chided lightly, gently ruffling her son's dirty blonde curls.

His lips pursed and he shook his head. “No. I see Heaven.” He insisted, sitting back on his heels and glaring at his mother defiantly.

The woman hummed softly, debating a good answer. It was likely the child had heard something from a book and associated the open sky with a grander place. Who wouldn’t, if you didn’t know better?

“What does Heaven look like?” She asked, watching her son’s face light up again.

“It’s bright.” Said the boy, looking up once more. “But not like the sun, it nicer, it won’t burn your eyes. And there are lots of colors, and lots of people and animals.” He smiled. “The man said I could come when I’m older, after I’ve grown up and done things here first.”

The woman clenched her hand into a fist, taking a breath to steady herself as the boy spoke, tightness growing in her chest as each word was spoken. “What man, Ambrose?” She questioned, attempting to keep her voice calm. The child looked at her in confusion.

“The large man.” He stated, looking at his mother expectantly. “The one that comes to our house all the time?”

“What does he look like?”

Ambrose’s eyes grew confused now, as he realized his mother had no knowledge of whatever he was talking about. “The large man with the beard. He wears the same red shirt all the time. You know him, right, mama? He talks about you like you know him.”

The woman’s heart began to beat faster and she stared at her son in fearful shock for a moment before she took his small hand in hers and looked into his emerald eyes.

“What does the man tell you, Bo?”

The child shifted uncomfortably under the intense stare of his mother and looked at the picnic blanket, eyes hazing slightly as he tried to remember something.

“He tells me stories. He says that he came from heaven once, but he wanted to see me and you. He said he wants to protect us. He misses you, he said.”

The woman's breath caught and she swallowed hard. Could it be? No. Impossible.

“Ambrose, do you see anything else?”

The child blinked and hesitated. “I see a woman sometimes, she likes to clean. And there's a kitty, Petals, she likes to cuddle in the winter, but she likes to be outside when it’s warm. There’s a shadow too, he’s not nice. But red shirt keeps him away, so it’s okay.”

“Did redshirt give you his name?”

“Umm.” The boy thought for a moment before nodding. “Gerald. I think.”

It was. The woman stood and quickly pulled her child to his feet, earning a yelp of surprise. “Where did you see him?”

“He comes home!” Ambrose responded, stumbling as his mother started walking swiftly back towards the little cabin. “But not always though, sometimes he goes away.”

“The shadow man, who is he?”

The boy hesitated, tears rising in his eyes. “Mean.”

“Yes, but who?”

“Papa.”

Her blood ran cold and she shifted, turning to pull her child up on her hip and then running towards their cabin as quickly as possible, placing Ambrose down as soon as they entered. He started crying and grasped his mother's hand. The woman froze, recognition flashing in her eyes as a cold hand dropped on her shoulder from behind.

“Ambrose, run.”

“Mama-”

“Go, hide!”

The child let go and bolted further into the house, scrambling to get inside a small crawl space in his mother's bedroom. Seconds later, a dark figure shoved the young woman into the room and the child watched in horror as she screamed and fell, blood pooling from her neck, dying her golden hair and white blouse. The shadow figure smiled, her blood staining a metal knife and splashing his cheek. He could do nothing but clamp a hand over his mouth and sob silent tears as the figure started moving slowly around the space, searching.


Edited at August 31, 2022 01:19 PM by Lost Memories

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