|~| Illon |~|
How does your character feel about their own physical appearance?
Even before the torture Illon hated how they looked- Which was honestly terrible because of how little they ate and uh, everything. Now that everything’s happened though? They feel even worse about it, so… Not exactly a good thing.
How does your character react in social situations where they're forced to be around strangers? What about friends?
Very silent and awkward and uncomfortable around strangers, or very rambling and awkward and uncomfortable. Either one. With friends? Slightly less of either of those, more normal- Not by much though, that’s for sure.
Are they good at expressing their emotions or more stoic?
See, this is a hard one- Anyone else would say that Illon is good at expressing their emotions but they know better! They have to show some emotion so that everyone thinks this, but letting people see everything is not in their top priorities or wishes. So uh, they’re stoic at a certain point.
When was the last time they cried?
Very recently, unfortunately. Illon tries not to cry too much, since it’s almost always loud and annoying but uh… They sort of fail a lot.
Where do they fall on the scale of introversion and extroversion?
On both sides of the scale, at the same time, all the time. They’re an extrovert that sort of got the social skills of an introvert so introverted they probably don’t even count as an introvert anymore either, plus self-esteem and literally everything to match. Basically.
What is their outlook on life like?
Illon isn’t even sure at this point, it’s all just a big mess- Like their living place in the city.
Do they have a life philosophy?
Not really- They’re just kind of vibing along to some terrible music about how worthless they are while throwing themself to danger like a moth to flame. Try, and if you don’t succeed, try again? That would probably work for one. Or, don’t be annoying because everyone hates annoying.
What is their alignment (ie. Good, true neutral, chaotic evil)?
Chaotic Good. Very chaotic good. There is no stopping them.
Do they have certain words or phrases they use frequently? (ie. "Hmmm. Fuck.")
In the past, when they were nervous they had a really bad habit of saying things randomly and repeatedly. Nowadays, not so much. They don’t really have any catchphrases either.
How do they handle stress?
Terribly. They shut down and give up and lose focus and everything sucks for everyone.
Where do they like to go to unwind?
Just somewhere quiet and not too stimulating, in all honesty. Preferably with someone they’re comfortable with- If only because being alone usually isn’t a good idea. Especially when they’re trying to unwind.
How adaptable are they to new situations?
Haha. Nope. Not unless it's one that has an obvious routine in it for them. Otherwise good luck seeing them adapt fast, if at all.
When was the last time they told a lie? Do they have a bad opinion of liars?
Illon tells lies all the time, without even meaning too sometimes. It’s bad. As for their opinion on liars? They don’t mind lying too much, as long as it’s for a good reason.
Do they make promises? Have they ever broken a promise?
Nowadays they only make promises with Salen, so that they can make sure to keep them. But also sometimes Esta, because it’s Esta. Illon has definitely broken quite a few of their share of promises. Unfortunately.
What annoying or bad habits do they have?
Rambling, stopping sentences randomly, and literally all of their self-destructive/sabotaging habits that tend to show up way more than they should.
Are they prejudiced towards certain groups of people?
I mean- Vipers? Those guys suck, usually. As in all of them. Illon can’t stand the sight of the tattoo either. Oh, but also themself- They’re definitely prejudiced against themself.
What's their sense of humor like?
They don’t have one? Kind of? Probably a bit more morbid than it should be, considering.
What makes them sad? *cue the sad puppy commercials*
Everything? Or at least a lot of things. It’s easy for Illon to get caught up in that emotion, along with stress, anxiety, and self-loathing.
What gets on their nerves?
If you mean what makes them upset then uh- Not much, actually. Just a few things that don’t even always make them mad, only sometimes. But their flaws always work, yeah.
What things do they like or obsess over?
Illon can obsess over literally anything, but they do like a few things. Like inventing, engineering- just making and building things in general, to be honest.
What's the thing (physical or abstract) they want more than anything else?
Physical? For someone to stay. Abstract? To be proven wrong, to have no expectations, etc.
When was their first kiss?
Ah, within one memory that they’d rather forget.
How did their first relationship end?
They’ve never been in a relationship. So technically it’s never ended nor started. Though perhaps it had started, right as it ended.
Have they ever been in love?
But what is love? For Illon refuses to admit to anything that makes things worse than they already are for them.
Have they ever had their heart broken?
How do they flirt?
You really think Illon flirts? At all? Ha! Illon doesn’t have any redeeming qualities that could possibly help with flirting. So they just don’t flirt.
How do they display affection differently to their friends, families, and romantic interests?
Giving gifts, helping out however they can, just trying to be there for them- That’s how Illon shows that they care about someone. Subtly, in order not to make them uncomfortable and awkward and all.
Do they get jealous?
Yes and no, so- Kind of. They get the disappointed kind of jealousy, where they know that they don’t really deserve to be jealous in the first place.
How do they react to rejection?
They don’t react well? Obviously? This is a given?
How do they react if someone they aren't particularly interested in expresses interest in them?
Awkwardly, confused, doubtful, and very much ‘please leave me alone’ energy.
How confident are they (with relationships or otherwise?)
Haha- No. Their confidence is blown to bits by now.
Are they forgiving or do they hold grudges?
They’re forgiving, to everyone but themself. Which kind of sucks for, you know, them.
Do they believe in redemption?
Yeah, they’d like to believe that everyone can change for the better. Except for themself, of course.
What's their reputation like? Is it different in different circles? Do they like their reputation or would they like to be perceived differently?
They have no idea what their reputation is like anywhere. So they don’t know. Honestly, why did you expect them to know?
Do they like to think on their feet or plan ahead?
On their feet! Who needs to wants a plan of all things?
Do they struggle with impulsiveness?
Oh most definitely, Illon is very impulsive in a lot of terrible ways. Mostly ones that only hurt them.
Do they have any nervous ticks?
At what point in time? But yes. They used to be actual tics that just got worse under stress and nerves. Nowadays? Those still show up sometimes, but it’s not as often and they aren’t ever as bad. But they still have other things that technically count, like any of their self-destructive behaviors.
What are their most positive and negative character traits? What about their most prominent character traits?
Prominent: Their social skills.
Do they have any regrets in life? What do they feel most guilty about?
So many regrets, so many guilts. Picking one they feel most guilty about is way harder than it should. There’s so much to choose from! Their first shut down? Giving Ben reason to leave? Letting people down over and over again? There’s a lot more than that too, but- Maybe one of those.
What achievement are they most proud of?
Somehow being able to drive everyone they’ve ever trusted out of their life? Somehow still be alive after everything? In the bitterly, self-loathing kind of proud. Obviously.
What is their first memory?
Their mother and father splitting up. Great start to life, you know?
Their fondest memory?
When they went and saw a musical with Ben. They don’t remember what musical it was anymore, but it was great.
Their worst memory?
Surprisingly, not the time of torture. Don’t get them wrong, that time is closely second but… The day Ben left. The day… Wow, didn’t have to go and shoot Illon’s heart into ten bajillion tiny pieces. You know? But yeah, the torture basically ties with it.
What smells remind them of the past?
Blood, smoke, fire, electricity, vomit, books, sweat, rust, gunpowder, flesh.
What's the most beautiful thing they’ve ever seen?
Uhhh. That one musical that they saw with Ben! Whatever it was! It was hilarious and so well put together!
What are their greatest fears, both physical and abstract?
Physical? Being alone, you know? Being alone is just- It’s terrible. Abstract? Sudden change. Change in general. Change is scary. Change isn’t secure. Change is very, very insecure and unsafe.
What are their goals or ambitions?
Ha, no? Illon honestly doesn’t have any, they don’t see why they need any. Goals and ambitions only set them up for failure.
Do they have a fatal weakness?
Multiple. Like how little social skills they have, their anxiety, their self-destructive/self-sabotaging behaviors, their lack of care for their own well-being, and the likes.
How do they react to criticism, praise, or other judgments cast on them?
Terribly. To all of that. They take criticism to heart no matter how it’s meant and what kind it is, and praise is doubted and pushed away and expectations and twists their heart even worse than criticism, and then with any other kind of judgment? Some weird mix between the two.
Are they competitive? How so?
Uh- Kind of? In the way that someone’s competitive with themself about how not competitive they are. Like, in rejecting competition completely.
Has anyone ever saved their life?
Before or after the mission? Before or after Ben left? Before or after their first ever shut down? Regardless, the answer is always yes.
What things are they very opinionated about?
Absolutely nothing. They’re a bit too much of an all over the place personality to truly have strong opinions on much. Maybe how much they suck, which is a lot in their opinion.
How do they respond to threats and conflict?
Either with self-destructive/sabotaging behaviors or with panic/anxiety. Or both.
Are they trusting of strangers? What about friends?
Ha, no and no. Everyone they have trusted has eventually left. Except for Esta! Esta’s great. But they don’t really expect that friendship to last, and they also don’t expect an invitation to her wedding eventually.
How do they defend themselves weapon-wise?
Uhh, they usually don’t use a singular weapon? They can use the environment fine, thank you. But uh, explosives are nice.
Do they have any special skills or training?
Not really? Technically? Except for, maybe, inventing? Or being annoying?
What causes, people, or ideas, would they put their lives on the line for?
Literally anything. Someone could tell them that saving puppies is a good thing to die for and that they need to do so because a bad organization is experimenting on said puppies. Yeah, life laid down easily. Replace puppies with like, a singular goldfish snack and it still works. To be honest, they’ll risk their life for literally no reason too.
How do they treat their hierarchical superiors/inferiors?
With absolutely no understanding of how such roles work, they’re obviously at the bottom though, and uh- Yeah.
If they could change one thing about themselves, what would it be?
Awww, they can’t just change everything? Darn. Uh. Probably how annoying they are. Most people, not Esta she too pure, tend to find them annoying. So whatever causes them to be annoying. Yeah. Because whatever it is causes people to leave, and Illon is sick of people leaving.
Do they have family? If so, what is the nature of their relationship and how do they feel about their family members?
Ah, yes, they have very differing relationships with their parents. When it comes to their mom? Their a bit more distant, a bit more apologetic, a bit softer, a bit more quiet, a bit more shameful. With their dad? Still quiet, still shameful… But a bit more comfortable, open. All in all though? Illon loves their parents and would hate to see either of them hurt.
How do they treat their friends?
Illon is clingy. There’s no other way to put it. They have to know that their friends aren’t going to leave immediately and even when said friends try to convince them that they won’t- Illon doesn’t believe them! But Illon treats them like they’re the whole world. Plus some light teasing and rambling, depending on how comfortable they are.
Do they have a nemesis? How have they made enemies in the past?
No nemesis, at least- Illon doesn’t think so. In the past? By either existing, existing and joining with certain people, or a mix of both of those plus unlikely timing.
What kind of people do they get along with naturally? What unlikely people do they count as allies?
Naturally? Anyone who doesn’t immediately find them annoying. As for unlikely allies? Literally everyone but Esta. Esta’s too pure for this world. The two are besties, maybe. Kind of. Esta’s still better than Illon could ever be but, you know- Even great heroes tend to have subpar sidekicks at best and completely incompetent sidekicks at worse. So- Illon can fit the bill. Totally. Maybe. Hopefully. Maybe they’re worse than the incompetent sidekicks though? So… They don’t know.
What was your character's background like? How have they developed personality-wise from childhood?
Haha, nope, you don’t get thissss. As for the sweet, sweet personality information? Absolutely no social skills, whatsoever. Like, throw them out the window bad. Like, set them on fire and then throw them out into space bad. Like, bury underground and with a bomb only to explode them to the Earth’s core, then out and to the moon and sun and venus and pluto, and back bad. Their social skills are completely obliterated. There is no hope for those. At all. Same for their self-esteem, openness to change, adaptability, and any chance they had at not being alone forever!
What is the worst thing they've done to someone they loved? What about an enemy?
Loved one? Shut down for way too long. An enemy though? Technically, they tie Agnar for highest kill count. But also technically not giving the enemy the information they want is bad too.
What's their personal moral code?
Don’t annoy anyone willing to get close? Don’t talk more than necessary? That’s a hard one, sometimes, Illon’s a rambler. Don’t betray anyone you trust? Should be a given, in all honesty.
Were they ever bullied (or have they bullied others?)
Haha… Yeah… They’ve gotten bullied before. It certainly didn’t help anything.
If they could travel back in time, what event would they alter?
Illon’s pretty sure that there aren’t any events that they could alter… Maybe do a bit better job at making sure that what they’re doing will actually kill them. With any of the times they’ve almost died at their own hands.
What would they ask a fortune-teller?
“So… Uh… Is fortune telling real? No, wait- Is this a one question thing, where I can only ask one thing? If so, don’t count either of those! I have a different question- Uh- Is anyone going to be affected when I inevitably die somehow?”
What advice would they give their younger self?
“Uhhh… I’m the worst person to be giving you advice, tiny me. So uh… Just do you? I guess? Things are going to suck for a bit in life, then they get better, and then you move out. It’ll be kind of steady for a bit then… And then it’ll get great, before crashing all the way down on you. And then you’ll be stuck in a rut for the rest of your life. So enjoy this good part while you can. Yeah. That’s about all I got. You got this.”
What do they love to hate?
Absolutely nothing. Illon hates nothing too. Yeah. Totally.
Where do they go when they’re angry?
Illon doesn’t get angry very easily, in fact- They’re more likely to get into a fit of self-loathing than get angry at someone. If they do manage to get angry though? Somewhere alone, and dark. That usually deters people from them, at least.
What is their current occupation? And do they like their job?
They don’t really have a job at the moment, though they’re technically still an inventor.
What are some of their past jobs?
Inventor, engineer, the likes.
Do they have a talent?
Being annoying? Getting into danger? Almost dying? Being a burden to everyone around them? Failing everyone? Maybe inventing… Though their golden days for that have definitely passed.
What is their educational background? Are they more intelligent than average?
Haha… Their education background is a mess, and honestly one cause of some of the problems they have. But yeah, whether they’d like to admit it or not… Academically? They’re intelligence is far above average. There’s a reason they’re the ‘Prodigy of Luxor’. Much to their discomfort.
What's their ideal life that they would be happy living?
One where absolutely nothing ever changes and everyday is just a routine that’s rinsed and repeated. One that’s secure and easy and safe. They also know though, that they wouldn’t be able to live happily in it for long. Screw their contradictory self.
What possessions do they use daily?
Most definitely their mask! But other than that? Clothing, usually some of their stuff for inventing and tinkering and all.
What possessions do they value?
Their mask, and uh… Yeah, that’s about it.
Do they believe in the afterlife?
They don’t know. In some ways, they hope there isn’t one.
What are their religious views?
Illon doesn’t really follow a religion, doesn’t see the point in that.
How would they like to die?
Honestly? At this point, Illon doesn’t really care how they die. As long as they die, it doesn’t matter, right?… They’d prefer without blood, if only for whoever finds them’s sake.
What is their zodiac sign? Enneagram sign?
Zodiac: Cancer-Leo Cusp.
Enneagram: 6 (The Loyalist/Guardian).
What are their eating habits?
Well, now? Better than they used to be! Still not good though. Yeah, still not good one bit. Instead of going weeks without eating for fear of social interaction(basically), Illon is now eating depending on how painful it is and if people are within sight.
What's their living space like?
A gigantic mess. There’s half finished projects strewn about everywhere, a few different appliances still need fixing, some lights still don’t work, and there’s a whole other list of things to change and fix and replace and restock. There’s also a ton of dust everywhere, and the walls and floors have some charred places.
Do they like to party? *tunes lute*
No, not really. Way too many people and all.
Ale or wine (or water)?
Ha. Water. With everything they actually know about themself, yeah… Water’s probably for the better.