11:26:39 Cloudz, Pumpkin
Guys.I don't feel good and j don't think I'll be able to call in to work. I might have to go even tho I don't feel good
11:26:18 Di, Delphi, Delph
To all the roleplayers who might need help: -WP Click-
Pack King
11:25:58 Lauren | PK
Not a single DH in that litter >.>
11:24:22 Heph || (she/her)

Thoughts on his quote?
Ice Wolves
Wow! That's really good!
Violet Pack
11:20:31 Tyto
Oh wow! A litter of 3 with two Albinos. Didn't expect that. -WP Click- | -WP Click- | -WP Click-
Dagger Pack
11:13:47 Zuko/Legacy
Looking for RP partners! PM me if interested!
☪{Moonstone} ☪
11:09:44 moon, Mist
thank you guys
los campesinos!
11:08:26 he/fizz/ram
or if you just have anything with menthol in it
los campesinos!
11:07:14 he/fizz/ram
boil mint water and put your face over it (not so close your scald yourself obviously) and put a towel over your head. clears the ye ol lungs
☪{Moonstone} ☪
11:07:00 moon, Mist
☪{Moonstone} ☪
11:06:28 moon, Mist
i think it might be a mucus problem
also my parents think im fine so i can't see a doctor
11:06:28 Virgo / Sir
Take deep breaths,stay calm and try to relax yourself and see if that helps
Phantom Stars
11:06:12 PhantomStarsX
if you think it's mucus, inhale slowly for several seconds, try to fill your lungs to max capacity before slowly exhaling. repeat 5 to 10 times it'll help clear your lungs.
☪{Moonstone} ☪
11:05:43 moon, Mist
i think it might be a mucus problem
also my parents think im fine so i can't see a doctor
☪{Moonstone} ☪
11:04:41 moon, Mist
i think it might be a mucus problem
also my parents think im fine so i can't see a doctor
Ice Wolves
Deep breaths!
los campesinos!
11:02:53 he/fizz/ram
hey maybe try a medical professional and not strangers on a wolf site
11:02:48 Virgo / Sir
Do you know what you did?
☪{Moonstone} ☪
11:01:56 moon, Mist
guys please help me
i feel like i'm gonna die
breathing is getting harder and im starting to fell a bit dizzy


You must be a registered member for more
than 1 day before you can use our chatbox.
Alliance Battles
Hourly Damage Variances
Grizzly Bear : -3
Polar Bear : -4
Copperhead : -2
   Season:  Spring  Month: 2  Weather:  Clear  Moon: 
   Time Of Day:  Night Explore In: Now 


Wolf Play is a fun game! Sign Up Now!

My Subscriptions
My Bookmarks
My Topics
Latest Topics
Forums > Socialize

I need opinions/tips on my writing June 22, 2022 08:42 PM

Posts: 2551
Give Award
I crave validation, nah XD just kidding, although that is partly true. I am mostly looking for contrsuctive criticism on my writing, I see something wrong with it, I aim to get better.
So with that let me just link some examples and I would like it if y'all could comment some tips/criticism. (Compliments are okay also)
1. Raina's Story Wrote this today in my spare time-
3. took me four hours I need someone to proofread or something- help me out Raven's Story
Let me know if The links don't work so I can fix them-
And note to the mods, I had no idea where to put this, if it's in the wrong sub forum please move for me, thank you.

Edited at June 23, 2022 01:19 AM by Firefox
I need opinions/tips on my writing June 23, 2022 06:49 PM

Posts: 172
Give Award
You could practice writing similes and integrating idioms into some places, if preferred.
There was an exercise we used to do in Creative Writing where the teacher would put up a picture on the projector screen of a location, like a cabin in the woods, or a marketplace, and we would write out a scene while incorporating the five senses into it.
"The woods were a little musty, and Aril observed particles of dust as they floated down the citrine sunbeams, like little boats cascading in slow motion down a titanic waterfall. It was just cold enough to make the hairs on the back of his neck stand up, and dull whatever he could smell of the place, but there was still that faint scent of an unnatural... thing. Something ancient and rotting, and not quite chemical although he almost tasted ammonia in the assaulting concoction. It was a substance hidden within the magical pretense of the abandoned cottage. He felt the coin in his pocket, his good luck charm; it had been with him through the ages, and its faces were worn smooth by his fiddlings. With a couple circles of his thumb over its edge, he hoped it would see him through to the end of this situation, too."
I'd write more but I just woke up and am headed for work lol.
One other piece of advice I guess is, read literature that you like and would want to emulate in your own writing, dissect it, even. What makes this scene powerful/emotional/feel hazardous? Are the protag's goals being realistically hindered by this or that, and are the stakes high enough? Etcetera.
Good luck!

Forums > Socialize

Copyright 2013-2022 Go Go Gatsby Designs, LLC    All Rights Reserved
Terms Of Use  |   Privacy Policy   |   DMCA   |   Contact Us