I think about this a lot. I view myself as an optimistic nihilist, someone who finds worth in nothingness. Essentially, when you think of the vast scale of things, we—as in all of us, both alive and dead; in the future, present, and past—are all insignificant. We wreak destruction on an infinitesimally small planet, which orbits an infinitesimally small sun, which then orbits an infinitesimally small galaxy, which is then part of the infinitesimally small Virgo Cluster, and so on. We are nothing, but we are not worthless. The philosophy of nihilism does not imply a lack of meaning; rather, it does the opposite: to be worthless would require existence, but to be nothing implies nonexistence, and since nonexistence is the opposite of existence, nothing does not imply worthlessness. I personally believe that nothingness is meaningful—after all, we are given something (life). We wouldn't be here talking about this shit if we weren't existent, and to be existent implies a purpose: to exist as much as nonexistence allows us to. We should take advantage of what we have, of our sojourn, because the vastness of it all won't wait for us.

Regarding God, I do believe that He exists. I just don't worship Him. I find myself at odds with a being like Him. I understand why He lets us suffer (so that we may learn to not suffer; pain implies pleasure: we can't grow if we haven't encountered a stop), but I just can't bring myself to respect someone who, in my opinion, was so imperfectly selfish as to create us all, grant us freedom, and watch as we continuously make fools of ourselves.

I'm not so sure about the afterlife.

ASomeonePerson said:

I think about this a lot. I view myself as an optimistic nihilist, someone who finds worth in nothingness. Essentially, when you think of the vast scale of things, we—as in all of us, both alive and dead; in the future, present, and past—are all insignificant. We wreak destruction on an infinitesimally small planet, which orbits an infinitesimally small sun, which then orbits an infinitesimally small galaxy, which is then part of the infinitesimally small Virgo Cluster, and so on. We are nothing, but we are not worthless. The philosophy of nihilism does not imply a lack of meaning; rather, it does the opposite: to be worthless would require existence, but to be nothing implies nonexistence. I personally believe that nothingness is meaningful—after all, we are given something (life). We wouldn't be here talking about this shit if we weren't existent, and to be existent implies a purpose: to exist as much as nonexistence allows us to. We should take advantage of what we have, of our sojourn, because the vastness of it all won't wait for us.

Regarding God, I do believe that He exists. I just don't worship Him. I find myself at odds with a being like Him. I understand why He lets us suffer (so that we may learn to not suffer; pain implies pleasure: we can't grow if we haven't encountered a stop), but I just can't bring myself to respect someone who, in my opinion, was so imperfectly selfish as to create us all, grant us freedom, and watch as we continuously make fools of ourselves.

I'm not so sure about the afterlife.

Don't think you're strange for thinking of these sorts of things. Attempting to comprehend the incomprehensible says a lot about you: you're a deep thinker, and that will get you places—if you know how to not let the abyss of the future intimidate you.