Nico, admiring a sleeping Akira: You’re so cute.
Akira, sleepily: I could beat your ass.
Nico, lovingly: I know.
-
Garvin: So jellyshish-
Nico, laughing: JELLYSHISH!?
Garvin: You know what I meant!
-
Ingall: Can we talk about that mass email you sent?
Nico: Why? It was important.
Ingall: All it says is, "I'm back on my shit".
Garvin, shrugging: The people need to know.
-
Garvin: Akira, that’s disgusting. You’re only giving free stuff to beautiful people.
Nico: Yeah, you should be ashamed of yourself.
Akira: Oh yeah? *gets really close to Nico* How about a muffin on the house baby?
Nico, giggling: I’m pretty.
-
Nico, to Garvin: We had a date!
Nico: *aggressively points to Hello Kitty Coloring Book*
-
Nico: What’s it like being tall?
Nico: Is it nice?
Nico: Can you reach comfortably for the cupboards?
Garvin: We live in constant fear of the short ones who, in my experience, will climb 4 chairs, 2 boxes, a small coffee table and 6 oddly placed stools to get what they want.
Revan: It was one time!
-
Garvin: We've got to find a way to cut down our expenses. What can we live without?
Akira: Revan, probably.
-
Garvin: We have fun, don’t we, Ingall?
Ingall: I have never been more stressed out in my entire life.
-
Akira: Are you okay?
Nico, crying: Yeah, it was just the onions.
Akira: *Picks up an onion* What the fuck did you say to Nico?
-
Nico: You know, I really wish you’d just admit you made a mistake sometimes.
Revan, stirring their coffee: I prefer it with salt.
-
*The Squad's cooking skills*
Ingall: *master chef*
Nico: *knows a few recipes*
Revan: *can follow instructions on a box*
Akira: *made toast once*
Garvin: *banned from the kitchen*
-
Ingall: Okay, but what if we went to dinner not as friends this time?
Garvin: AS ENEMIES?!
Ingall:
-
Ingall: What’s wrong? You look 10 seconds away from ripping someone’s throat out.
Nico: Fucking Akira and Garvin were trying to invoke one of the minor gods again last night. I didn't get an ounce of sleep, thanks to their bloody chanting.
-
Nico: If I say I love you, will you say it back?
Revan: Yes.
Nico: I love you.
Revan: It back.
*Later*
Garvin: Why is Nico crying face-down on the floor?
-
Ingall: I had to pick up Clio early.
Garvin: That’s alright. Have they been sick?
Ingall: No, not sick, they’re just very upset because they’ve had a hard day.
Garvin: Wait, why did they have a hard day?
Ingall: They took their two pet snails to school with them today, and they had the snails in their book bag. They let out the snails by the sink in the back of the classroom for some exercise, and Revan, who was visiting the class that day, thought they were snails that had come inside from the playground, so they threw Clio’s snails out the window.
Garvin: Oh my god.
Ingall: I know you are laughing, Garvin, but please act sad about it when we get home today.
Garvin: I’ll try but that is hilarious.
Ingall: Yeah, I know. Stupid pet snails.
Ingall: I’m trying not to let Clio see me laugh.
-
Akira, Garvin & Nico: *screaming*
Ingall: *runs into the room* What's wrong, Nico?!
Akira: Wait, why are you asking Nico that when Garvin and I are also here?
Ingall: Because Nico wouldn't scream unless it's an emergency. You two scream whenever you have the chance.
-
Garvin: *casually taking four stairs at a time*
Nico, falling behind, taking two stairs at a time: Fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fu-
-
Akira: Bet you can’t eat 15 crayons!
Garvin: Bet you I can!
Ingall: *sips coffee, checks to make sure 911 is still on speed dial, and goes back to reading the paper*
-
Nico: Are you busy?
Revan: Yes.
Nico: Cool, listen to this.
-
Garvin: ARE YOU-
Akira: Fucking.
Garvin: KIDDING ME?! YOU-
Akira: Fucking.
Garvin: IDIOT!
Ingall: …What was that?
Akira: Nico banned Garvin from swearing, so I’m helping them out.
-
Nico: Don't go to the kitchen.
Ingall: Why?
Nico: I saw a spider.
Ingall: Well, did you kill it?
Nico: It has 8 arms and I only have 2, it's not fair…
-
Ingall: Garvin, you’ve tried 37 times and you’ve failed every time. Give it a break.
Garvin: DO I HEAR “FIRST TRY PART 38?”
-
Akira: I am so cool. I am an absolute Chad. I am the epitome of coolness and awesomeness—
Nico: Hi.
Akira: *melts down in a flustered heap of softness*
-
Nico: Hey, Akira. Why did the chicken cross the road?
Akira: To get to the other side?
Nico: You were supposed to say “I dunno, why?“
Akira: Uh... fine. I don’t know. Why did it cross the road?
Nico: To get to the idiot’s house.
Akira: ...Ok?
Garvin: Hey, Akira. Knock knock.
Akira: No.
Garvin: You were supposed to say “who’s there?”
Akira: Fine... let’s get this over with. Who’s there?
Garvin: The chicken.
Akira:
Garvin:
Nico:
Akira: Listen here you little shits-
-
*Revan is casually searching around the room*
Ingall: Hey Revan, what’re you looking for?
Revan: My will to live.
*Nico walks into the room*
Revan: Oh, there it is.
-
Akira & Garvin: *accidentally set the kitchen on fire*
Akira: We need an adult!
Garvin: Akira, you are an adult!
Akira: We need an adultier adult! Get Ingall!
-
Nico: Wow, it sure smells like wrong dog in here!
Akira: Oh buddy...
Nico, already sobbing: ASK.
-
Nico: Standing next to sunflowers always makes me feel weak like ‘look at this fucking flower. This flower is taller than I am. This flower is winning and I’m losing.’
Ingall: Wow, you are not ready to hear about trees.