Giles Howard Grimwald - Satyr and Distance (allows him to distance himself and/or others from their emotions and/or bodies)

Jusepe Perez - Counterfeit (he can immediately tell when something is fake or real and can make things look more fake/real)

Kody Barnes - Bovine Shifter and Feverish Input (he can make people believe things that abide by fever dream logic whenever they're already toeing that line or as long as he can make it seem believable or keep up the lie/logic/facade/whatever you want to call it)

Lucia Zay Talor - Whisperer (as long as her words at clearly directed at someone, human or animal, they’ll understand what she’s saying and vice versa)

Alvis: Sorry it took so long to bail you out of jail.

Irfam: No, it was my fault. I shouldn't have used my phone call to prank call the police station.

-

Promachus: Why is it that I always lose things as soon as I need them?
Irfam: Actually, it's not that you lose things when you need them. You lose them a while before. It's just that you LOOK for things when you need them.
Promachus: Okay yeah thanks Irfam, that's great but WHERE'S THE FUCKING FIRST AID KIT?

-

Irfam, barging in: Syphilis!
Alvis:
Irfam:
Alvis: Pardon?

-

Irfam: New year, new me.

Karma: Bitch, it’s August.

Irfam: Time is an illusion.

-

Irfam: Don’t worry, I have a permit.

Kostas: ...This just says “I can do what I want”.

-

Irfam: Hey there demons, It's me, ya boi.

Promachus: Irfam, NO!

-

Sol: Thought I was meowing back at my cat for the past hour, but it was just me and Irfam meowing at each other from different rooms in the house.

-

Irfam: sSSSHIT- I BURNT MY LIP-

Promachus: ...Why the fuck would you even drink coffee with a METAL STRAW in the FIRST PLACE??

Irfam: BECAUSE WE WERE OUT OF THE PLASTIC ONES!

-

Kostas: Okay, I’m going to get the wedding cake.

Irfam: Perfect, while you do that I’ll check on the ring bear.

Kostas: ...

Kostas: You mean ring bearER, right?

Irfam: ...

Kostas: Look me in the eyes and tell me you are not going to bring a dangerous wild animal to our wedding.

-

Giles: Something’s off.

Garvin: Maybe you’ve finally developed human emotions and feel bad for hurting people.

Giles: No, but that’s funny.

-

Irfam: Lol. Heads up if you try to make a candle with food coloring, the food coloring will just sink to the bottom of the glass, and when the flame eventually reaches the bottom all the food coloring will catch fire and become one giant tall flame that you cannot possibly blow out and the glass will start to crack and then you’ll throw your tea on it in a panic and then the extremely hot food coloring will boil and sizzle horribly and then the glass will shatter. Please take my word on this.

Kostas: What did you do Irfam?

Irfam: a Mistake.

-

Promachus: I called you like ten times! Why didn’t you pick up?

Irfam: *remembers dancing to the ringtone*

Irfam: I didn’t hear it.

-

Kostas: Why are you on fire?

Irfam: This is just how my day is going.

-

Garvin: I’m going to hell.

Giles: Probably.

Garvin: I'll pick you up?

Giles: *nodding* Carpool.

-

Irfam: I can't take this anymore, someone needs to take me out!

Alvis: In a dating type of way, or an assassination type of way?

Irfam: I don't know, surprise me!

-

Garvin: Hey.

Mergen: *pissed off* You… complete …ASS, Garvin! You show up here after WEEKS, and you say “hey”?!

-

Promachus: ...I'm pretty sure that place is fire-proof, or something.

Irfam, grenade in hand: Alright, but is it explosion-proof?

-

Promachus: If we’re in trouble, just throw Irfam at the problem, and hope for the best.

Viar: What’s your body count?

Andi: Do you mean sex or murder?

-

Garvin: Go fuck yourself.

Andi, smugly: Sure, but only if you watch

-

Andi: Hey, I’m getting in the shower. Wanna help me out?

Garvin: ...Have you never taken a shower before?

-

Andi: Don’t preach to me about romance, Giles. I had a three-way in a hot-air balloon.

-

Viar: What did Andi do this time?
Giles: More like WHO did Andi do this time?

-

Andi: *sucking on a popsicle*

Giles: Pfft, you practicing for when Garvin gets here?

Andi: *takes a huge ass bite out of the popsicle*

Giles: *Concern*

-

Viar: Who do we know that has handcuffs?

Giles: Well Andi and I-

Andi: *elbows Giles*

Giles: ...wouldn't know.

-

Viar: How do you tell someone that you wanna have sex with them in a polite way?

Giles: Excuse me Mx. Would you give me the honours of indulging in sexual activities with you?

Andi: What the fuck is wrong with you two?