Some more incorrect quotes! This time Irfam + hallucinations, Raph, Kostas, Ingall, Garvin, Ford, Rinny, Akira, Revan, and Nico all make appearances!
Irfam: The ‘how the fucks’ and 'why are you so dumbs’ don’t matter. All that matters is that I have a new gun.
-
Irfam: I love saying 'fuck me' because it can either be sexual or self-loathing and those are two things that describe me perfectly.
-
Irfam: If you see me talking to myself, go away! I’m self-employed and we’re having a staff meeting!
-
Irfam: Arson? Oh, you mean "crime brûlée".
-
Irfam: Hi, I'm Irfam, and only you can prevent forest fires... seriously, it has to be you. I'm sure as hell not gonna do it.
-
Pewter: You look mentally ill.
Irfam: I am. Let’s go.
-
Irfam: Stay foxy.
Pewter: Die lonely.
-
Duane: How are you today?
Irfam: Please don’t make me think about my life.
-
Duane: Stop setting things on fire because you're curious about what will happen. What will happen is fire.
Irfam: But what if something else happens just this one time.
-
Kostas: Wow, great work on the Halloween decorations. Where did you get the fake skeletons?
Irfam: Fake?
-
Angelita: Irfam, are you okay?!
Irfam: I told you to stop asking stupid questions!
-
Rinny: Where are your parents?
Garvin: What are parents?
Rinny: That’s just about the saddest thing I ever heard get said.
-
Duane: Truth or dare?
Irfam: Truth.
Duane: How many hours have you slept this week?
Irfam:
Irfam: Dare.
Duane: Go to sleep.
Irfam: I don't like this game.
-
Irfam: Surgery is basically just stabbing someone to life.
Raph: Please never become a surgeon.
-
Beel: Irfam, is that legal?
Irfam: When there's no cops around, anything's legal!
-
Rooster: The first time Irfam opened a box of Cheerios and looked inside they yelled, "OH WOW! DONUT SEEDS!"
-
Pewter: What is wrong with you?
Irfam: Loaded question. Elaborate.
-
Irfam: I just ended a five year relationship.
Pewter: Oh no, are you okay?
Irfam: It's okay, it wasn't mine.
-
Revan: You are the love of my life and I would do anything within reason to make you happy.
Nico: I would be happy if you ate, stayed hydrated and got a reasonable amount of sleep.
Revan: I said within reason, Nico. How about I murder that guy?
Nico: So murder is in reason but proper self care isn't?
Revan: Well, duh. What kind of question is that?
-
Akira: I personally don't think it's possible to come up with a crazier plan.
Irfam: We could attack them with hummus.
Akira: I stand corrected.
Irfam: Just keeping things in perspective.
-
Angelita: Why would you think any of this was a good idea?
Irfam: Probably because I’m a dangerous sociopath with a long history of violence.
Angelita:
Irfam: I don’t know how you keep forgetting this.
-
Irfam: If it’s any consolation, they got me here on a very misleading text message.
Beel: Technically, you are about to be screwed in the biology room.
-
Duane: What is the one thing I told you not to do?
Irfam: Burn the house down.
Duane: And what did you do?
Irfam: I made dinner.
Duane:
Irfam:
Duane:
Irfam: And burnt the house down.
-
Irfam, making a cup of tea: Yeah, get into that leaf juice, you sexy, sexy bee sauce.
Angelita: Hey, do you take constructive criticism?
Irfam: I absolutely fucking do not.
-
Pewter: Irfam, how do you feel about lifting heavy things?
Irfam: My doctor just said I should avoid—
Pewter: Being a wuss? I agree.
-
Revan: I don't need to go to bed. I'm not tired, I'll be fine.
Nico: But, darling, I'll be so lonely without you. Come curl up in my arms so I can feel whole again.
Revan: O-oh. Well. Are you trying to seduce me into healthy sleeping patterns??
Nico: Is it working?
-
This next one has multiple options…
Pewter: Dammit, you ruin everything!
Irfam: You're welcome.
or
Irfam: Dammit, you ruin everything!
Angelita: You're welcome.
or
Ford: Dammit, you ruin everything!
Garvin: You're welcome.
-
Pewter: I just heard Irfam call the dog a “fucking liar” because he barked like someone was at the door and no one was there.
-
Nico: Revan is playing hard to get.
Nico: Little do they know, I'm a master at playing hard to get rid of.
-
Ingall: I still have no idea how I’m attracted to you...
Garvin: Yeah, well, you’re stuck with me, and no take backs, honey.
-
There’s two choices here.
Irfam: Can I have 2 straws with that milkshake?
Kostas: Aww-
Irfam: With 2 straws, I can drink it double as fast!
or
Garvin: Can I have 2 straws with that milkshake?
Ingall: Aww-
Garvin: With 2 straws, I can drink it double as fast!
-
Duane: Irfam, no.
Irfam: Irfam, yes.
-
Duane: Treat spiders the way you want to be treated!
Irfam: Killed without hesitation.