Anddd nowww, James, Kage, and Skylar quotes! :D

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Skylar: Is anyone going to tell me what's going on in here?!
James: It's kind of complicated, but Kage-
Skylar: Got it. Forget I asked.

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Kage: I'm not that stupid!
Skylar: Kage, you literally ate the wax from a babybel.
Kage: JAMES TOLD ME IT WAS EDIBLE!

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Kage: *pitches an idea*
James, impressed: Huh, there might be something here!
Skylar, under their breath: Yeah, a lawsuit.

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Holland: So... who's the big spoon and who's the little spoon?
Kage: We're chopsticks!
Holland: Well... that's cute!
Holland: Does that mean you two snuggle together perfectly?
James: No, it means that if you take the other away, the only thing the other is good for is stabbing.

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Kage: Which movie are you and Skylar going to see tonight?
James: Oh, I always go to whichever movie Skylar wants.
Kage: Which one do they want to see?
James: I haven't decided yet.

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James: Skylar, why is Kage intruding on our cuddle time?
Kage: Skylar, why is James intruding on our cuddle time?
Skylar, in distress: Please… I have two hands…

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Skylar: Hi, sorry I’m late. I was doing a couple of things and got distracted.
James: I’m “a couple of things”.
Kage: I’m “got distracted”.

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Skylar, watching James do something stupid: Kage, you're officially only the second highest risk here.
Kage: Hell yeah! I'm gonna—
Skylar: Don't finish that sentence, you'll move back up.

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James: You've been given a new job to do, but I'm worried it might make you angry.
Skylar: Just say it quick, like ripping off a band-aid.
James: You have to teach Kage how to drive.
Skylar: ...put the band-aid back on.

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Kage (brainstorming ideas for pranking Skylar): How much could a serial killer mask possibly cost?
James: Well it’s hard to find a high-quality one made out of leather or silicone, but if you did find a good one like that it’d be a couple thousands of dollars. I can try to hook you up with one but I don’t know if I’d be very successful.
Kage: Huh, that’s pretty interesting actually- Wait, how the hell do you know that?
James: …I am very passionate about Halloween, Kage.

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James: sapnu puaS.
Kage: What??
Skylar: What language is that?
James: Turn your phone 180 degrees.
*James was removed from the groupchat*

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Skylar: *walks into the kitchen, ignoring everyone*
Kage: Hey, Skylar, how was your day?
Skylar: *picks up an onion and bites into it, staring at Kage* Hell.
James, watching this unfold: *whispers* Who hurt you?

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Kage, grinning: Before you were what?
James: Before I was-
Kage: What?
James: Before I was inter-
Kage: Before you were interrupted?
James: Cut me off one more time and I swear I'll-
Kage: What?
James: *makes frustrated sound*
Skylar, nervously: Stop that. Before they hurt you.

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Skylar: Kage, what does IDK, ILY, and TTYL mean?
Kage: I don’t know, I love you, talk to you later.
Skylar: Alright, I love you too, I'll ask James.
Kage: Wait- Skylar, no-

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James: Kage just insisted Skylar and I remember a code word in case we’re ever confronted by their clone or a cyborg doppelgänger and we’re not sure which is the real them and which is the imposter.
James: Some families have a fire escape plan, but not us.

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Kage, at an awards show: Well, first of all, I’d like to thank Skylar, the love of my life, for telling me James was going to win so don’t bother to prepare a speech.

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James: Skylar learned how to fold origami penguins from Kage the other day. I told them, “I feel a little bad for the penguins, it’s hot here”, and the next day they put them in the fridge.

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Skylar: What's the signal when something goes wrong?
Kage: We yell, 'oh shit.'
James: ...That'll work.

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Kage: Guys, I didn’t memorize my lines!
James: Just use your lack of common sense! Everyone knows the characters in plays are dumb as fuck!
*During the play*
Skylar: Hey! You finally made it! Did you get the donuts?
Kage: W-what’re donuts?

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Store Worker: Would a “Mx. Skylar” please come to the front desk?
Skylar, arriving at the desk: Hello, is there a problem?
Store Worker, pointing to James and Kage: I believe they belong to you?
James and Kage, simultaneously: We got lost :(
Skylar: I didn’t even bring you guys here with me—

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Skylar, gardening: Hey, can you bring me the hoe?
James: Yeah, sure.
*A few minutes later*
James: Here you go.
Skylar:
James:
Kage: Why am I here?

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James: Kage isn’t answering my messages.
Skylar: Allow me.
James: I tried 6 times, what makes you thi-
Kage: *replying to message* Hello.

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*Skylar teaching James to drive and taking Kage along for the ride*
Skylar: That's a pothole. To the left!
James: Take it back now y'all *Drives into pothole*
Kage, sticking their face into the front over the center console: Cha Cha real smooth.
James: I don't think that's how the song goes.
Skylar, crying and gripping the handle: Please just take me home.
James: Country Roads.
Kage: To the place.
James and Kage in unison: I Belong!
Skylar, crying harder: What the fuck?

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Skylar: Without ugly, there would be no beauty in this world.
James: Thank you for your sacrifice, Kage.

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Skylar: Yo dumbass, get over here.
James: Okay-
Kage: *gleefully runs past* I’m coming!
James, sadly: I thought... I was dumbass...

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Skylar: I just had a long talk with James and Kage about hitting and now they are yelling “It’s my turn to perpetuate the cycle of violence” before hitting each other.

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Kage: Hey I just got a pet snake. What should I name him?
Skylar: A pet WHAT?!
James: William Snakespeare.

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James: But what about Kage?
Skylar: Don't worry about them.
Skylar: I once watched them fall down 5 flights of stairs, stand up, and keep eating their hotdog like nothing happened.

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Kage: You’re such a dumbass (affectionate).
James: Aww, you’re such a whore (complimentary).
Skylar: How are you talking like that in real life?
James: Witchcraft (derogatory).

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Skylar: Guys where did Kage go?
James: They got arrested.
Skylar: How the hell-
Kage: *bursts in through the window* The cops are after me, I thought it would be fun to steal crackers and throw them at people.

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Kage: I dare you-
Skylar: James is not allowed to accept dares anymore.
Kage: Why not?
James: "I have no regard for my own or other's personal safety", as some would say.

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James: The best way to gain someone's undying loyalty is by saving them from a perilous situation.
Kage: So you're just gonna wait until Skylar is in danger and save them?
James: Of course not, I'm going to create a situation that puts them in danger and then save them.
Kage: ...
Kage: You're insane.

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Skylar: Why are there little handprints all over the walls?
James, whispering: Why are there little handprints all over the walls?
Kage, whispering: Because I have little hands.
James: Because they have little hands.

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Kage: I'm gonna eat the chicken breasts!
James, snickering: Yeah, eat what you lack.
Skylar, deadpanning at James: Then maybe I should order brains on delivery for you.

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*playing twister*
Skylar: Right-hand red.
James: *ends up on top of Kage*
Kage: You're doing this on purpose, aren't you?
Skylar: I stopped spinning like 15 minutes ago. Honestly, I'm surprised you didn't notice.

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Skylar: I hope you have an explanation for this.
James: We have three actually-
Kage: Pick your favorite.

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James, reading a recipe: Beat three eggs?
Kage: It means like in hand-to-hand combat.
James: Ohhhh-
Skylar: Both of you get out of this kitchen.

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Skylar: What does the doggy say? Bow wow.
James: What does the kitty say? Meow meow.
Kage: What does the moo cow say? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

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Skylar: Yesterday, I overheard Kage saying “Are you sure this is a good idea?” and James replying “Trust me,” and I have never moved from one room to another so quickly in my life.

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Skylar: I’m genuinely surprised you haven’t gotten arrested, let alone gotten a felony yet.
James: Nat 20 Charisma.
Skylar: That is NOT how that works-

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Skylar: James...
James: I can tell by the tone of your voice that you are disappointed. Alas, I must further disappoint you by affirming how little I give a fuck.

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Skylar: My life is a mess.
James: Skylar relax, go get a beer.
Skylar: I don’t want a beer.
James Who said it was for you?

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Skylar: I left instructions for everyone while I'm gone.
James: Mine just says "James no."
Skylar: I want you to apply it to every possible situation.

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James: Am I going to far?
Skylar: No, no, no. You went too far about 7 hours ago. Now you’re going to prison.

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Skylar: Hey James, I’ve got an idea for how to solve this.
James, pulling out a shotgun: Yeah?
Skylar: Wh- No! That’s not the idea, James!

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Skylar: Hopefully James has learned a lesson about respecting other people's feelings.
James: Oh, shut up and die, Skylar.

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Skylar: Do we have any orange juice left?
James: *pours the remaining juice into their cup*
James: Sorry, we’re all out.

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James: Something’s off.
Skylar: Maybe you’ve finally developed human emotions and feel bad for hurting people.
James: No, but that’s funny.

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James: *holds a gun out to Skylar*
Skylar: I-I don't believe in guns.
James: Well, trust me, they're very real. Now take it.

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Kage: Bro-
James: No, no, hold up, rewind.
James: My tongue was down in your throat just a second ago and now you're calling me bro??

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Kage: Thought I was meowing back at my cat for the past hour, but it was just me and James meowing at each other from different rooms in the house.

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James: Is this about me?
Skylar: No.
James: Then I've lost interest.

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James: *closes a cabinet*
*a crash is heard behind the cabinet door*
Kage: What was that?
James: The sound of someone else's problem.

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Kage: Ayo, what the FUCK is this?!?
James, sitting down, surrounded by corpses: I won Mafia, that’s what.

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Kage: Here’s the cold medicine you asked for.
Kage: *dumps 3 shopping bags of wine on the table*
James: ...Thanks.

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Kage: You played me!
James: Like the cheap kazoo you are!

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Kage/James: Can I ask you for a favor?
Skylar: I would literally die for you, but continue.
Kage/James: We need to talk about you starting sentences that way.

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Kage: Punch me in the face.
James: ...Punch you?
Kage: Yes, punch me, didn’t you hear me?
James: I always hear ‘punch me in the face’ while you’re speaking but it’s usually just subtext.

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*Kage and James are planning to break in somewhere*
Kage: We need to distract the guards.
James: Right.
Kage: What are we gonna do?
James: I'm gonna break their elbows while you poke their eyes.
Kage:
James:
Kage: Deal.

-

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James: Come on, Skylar! How any times do I have to apologize?
Skylar: Once!
James: ...No.

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Kage: I regret nothing!!!
Skylar: I regret everything!!!

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James: This was almost a great idea.
Kage: You just described 90% of our stuff.

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James: *fast-forwards all the way through the movie*
Kage: You can't just skip to the happy ending!
James: I don't have time for their problems.

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James: Start talking!
Skylar: Well, I-
James: Shut up!

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Skylar: Hey James, do you wanna help us?
James: Oh, I would... but I don’t want to.

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Kage: I never tell people off the bat that I'm gay. I wait. I wait until they say some homophobic shit and then I laugh and am like "you know I'm gay right?" and watch the look of terror on their face.
James:
James: I like you.