Don't mind me already starting the quotes... I might be mildly obsessed XD
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Clio: I am strong! I beat Maya at arm wrestling!
Chile: Anyone can beat Maya at arm wrestling!
Maya: Hey-
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Oculi: That's not funny.
Quincy: I thought it was funny.
Oculi: You don't count. You started laughing in the middle of a funeral because you started thinking of a meme you saw on Facebook.
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Chile: *Pulls a glass a water from out of nowhere*
Aries: Where did you get that?
Chile: My pocket.
Aries: How do you keep a glass of water in your pocket?
Chile: Skills.
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Skylar: Do you need help getting up?
Kage: Nah, I'm cool down here on the floor.
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Kage: Why cant trees give off something important like wifi??
Ingall: So fuck oxygen, I guess.
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Ingall: Why are you always trying to aggravate me?
Akira: To relax.
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Agnar: If bees can be fish and boys can be girls, then why can't my dad love me?
Maya: I thought I was going to have to yell at you, but now I think I should hug you.
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Agnar: I’m the sexiest bitch in this therapy waiting room.
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Kage: I mean, sure, I have my bad days, but then I remember what a cute smile I have.
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Aries: Do you want a drink?
Quincy: I could go for some appy slices right now.
Aries: With a little peanut butter to dip them in?
Quincy: FUCKING OF COURSE I WANT PEANUT BUTTER ARIES!
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Ingall: What do you call quantums of electromagnetic radiation that don’t get along?
Garvin: What did you just say-
Ingall: Foetons! *Laughs*
Garvin: Wh-what?
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Agnar: *holding a salt packet* It’s just a little sodium chloride.
Ingall: Actually Agnar, it’s salt.
Agnar: That’s what I said, sodium chloride.
Ingall: Uh Agnar, that would be salt.
Ingall: *takes salt packer from Agnar* This is iodized table salt, which in addition to sodium chloride contains anti-caking agents and potassium iodate, which is added to prevent iodine deficiency. So not only are you being overly pretentious by insisting on using scientific terminology for everyday items, you are factually wrong. Your arrogance is your downfall, you annoying little shit.
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Kage: Dinosaurs aren't extinct. I mean, Devery is walking in this room.
Agnar: *wheeze*
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Garvin, texting Ingall: I’m a theif.
Ingall: Thief.
Garvin: Theif.
Ingall: I before E except after C.
Garvin: Thceif.
Ingall: NO.
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Agnar: How does one turn their emotions off?
Quincy: Okay, so first go to settings.
Quincy: I'm a fucking idiot, I thought that said emojis at first.
Agnar: No, I'm still willing to try this, go ahead. I'm at settings, what do I do next?
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Kage: How do you know how to kiss? Like who teaches you?
Devery: Well it’s actually a class, but unfortunately it’s full right now.
Devery: Would you like me to tutor you?
Agnar: That was smooth.
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*at a zoo*
Kage: What are they in for?
Skylar: Kage, this isn't prison.
Kage: So they can leave?
Skylar: No, but-
Kage, pointing at a meerkat: I bet that one murdered someone.
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Ingall: Any idiot would know that.
Kage: I knew that!
Ingall: See?
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Ingall: I have feelings for you.
Garvin: Why? What's wrong with you? Are you sure you're okay?
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Ingall: Pardon the intrusion, but-
Kage: On this moment or just my life in general?
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Kage: I like to think of myself as a semi-responsible adult here.
Skylar: Agnar is 70% of your impulse control and you know this Kage.
Agnar: I feel like Kage is the more responsible one of us two though.
Kage: We are both 70% of each others' impulse control.
Agnar: Just two lil beasts in pinwheel hats spinning on the merry-go-round at dangerous velocities, holding each other’s hands so the other doesn’t fall off.
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Maya: GET BACK HERE YOU DUMB FUCK!
Kage: LET ME RUN FROM THE CONSEQUENCES OF MY ACTIONS!
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Ingall: What’s sexting?
Garvin: I'm not having this conversation with you.
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Akira: Oh, so when crows remember people who wronged them and hold grudges, its “intelligent” and “really cool”.
Akira: But when I do it, I’m “petty” and “need to let it go”.
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Garvin: That sounds super! Doesn’t that sound super, Ingall?
Ingall: No.
Garvin: I think I speak for Ingall when I say it sounds really super.
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Aries, ordering Starbucks: Hey, I just got my heart broken, what do you recommend?
Agnar, who’s running the drive-thru: …
Agnar: Tequila.
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Kage: *watching their house burn down*
Kage:
Kage: *starts filming* Waddup, guys, welcome to my vlog, today's topic: how to get away with accidentally committing arson because you forgot Spaghetti O's cans are metal and thus non-microwavable! Step one: deny everything.
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Skylar: *sees Ingall and Garvin together*
Skylar: They're cute. I would put them on a boat.
Chile: You mean... you ship them?
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Devery, at Garvin's funeral: I need a moment with them.
Everyone else at the funeral: Of course. *leaves*
Devery, leaning over Garvin’s coffin: Okay, listen here you little shit. I know you’re not dead.
Garvin, sitting up in the coffin: Yeah, no shit.
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Oculi: The floor is lava!
Aries: *helps Skylar onto the counter*
Devery: *kicks Chile off the sofa*
Garvin: *lays on the floor*
Oculi: ...Are you okay?
Garvin: No.
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Chile: Am I right, Ingall?
Ingall: I’m almost certain you’re not, but to be fair, I wasn’t listening.
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Agnar: Maya taught me to think before I act.
Agnar: ...So if I smack the shit out of you, rest assured that I thought about it and am confident in my decision.
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*Kage and Agnar are trying to teach Sky how to stand up for himself... This could also totally work for Aries, Chile, and Quincy-*
Kage: Tell Agnar off, Skylar! Assert yourself!
Skylar: That's my ice cream!
Kage: Good! Now let them have it!!
Skylar, handing Agnar the ice cream: Here, you can have it!
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Kage: Skylar, those tarot card readers know what they're doing! Think of Quincy, they're so smart!
Skylar: Those are suggestions! They're not-
Kage: Quincy knew things, Quincy knew things!
Skylar: I don't think tarot cards told them that, though! I think if you just shotgun blast things into the air, saying you think you know things, then you're bound to hit one of them!
Kage: I don't like thinking about it like that. They're just brilliant.
Skylar: Well, they are brilliant! But-
Kage: And they saw into the future, and they're basically a god.
Skylar: ...
Skylar: They aren't.
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Maya: We call that a traumatic experience.
Maya, turning to Kage: Not a "bruh moment".
Maya, turning to Quincy: Not "sadge".
Maya, turning to Agnar: And DEFINITELY not an "oof LMAO".
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*Ingall and Quincy are texting*
Ingall: Please bring home PURIFIED water with NO minerals added for taste. NONE.
Quincy: I got spring water.
Ingall: NO!
Quincy: With EXTRA minerals!
Quincy: It’s like licking a stalagmite!
Ingall: DON’T COME HOME!
Quincy: Mmmmmm, cave water.
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Devery: You’re alive.
Garvin: No need to sound so disappointed.
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Kage: Well, if you're not at least a little bit gay for your friends, then what kind of friend are you?
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Garvin: Sweet dog you got there.
Police: Yes, this is our new drug-sniffing dog.
Garvin: Still training huh?
Police: What do you mean?
Garvin:
Garvin: Never mind.
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Agnar: LOWERCASE LETTERS ARE FOR THE LOWER CLASS!
Kage: And here we have a capitalist.
Devery: Did you just-
Quincy: Let us all take a moment to appreciate that all of human history, human language, and the universe itself aligned to make this joke possible.
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Ingall: I still have no idea how I’m attracted to you...
Garvin: Yeah, well, you’re stuck with me, and no take backs, honey.
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Kage: What if mayonnaise came in cans?
Agnar: Well, that would such because you can't microwave metal.
Ingall: Good morning to everyone except these two people.
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Kage: Hey, Quincy? I need advice.
Quincy: I’m pretty useless at giving advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment instead?
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Chile: I told Kage to grab snacks for everyone.
Devery, looking through the options: Why did you grab fruit snacks? Are you five? Who even likes Fruit Snacks?
*Chile, Kage, and Agnar raise their hands*