Name

Nicholas Layton

Gender

Male/masculine

Sexual orientation

Questioning... he's still a little young. He has suspicions he may be bisexual, with a male lean. But he doesn't like to think about such things... they stress him out.

Age

Recently 13, but he likes to act/be percieved as older.

Height

5'4, on the tall side for his age but pretty short overall.

Weight in pounds

Nicholas weighs around 70 pounds. Under his usual (purposefully) baggy clothing, he is quite underweight for his height.

Description

Nicholas is a rather small boy, thin and borderline emaciated like many of his fellow orphans. His skin is very pale and sallow from staying indoors as much as possible, even the spattering of freckles dotting his cheeks and shoulders seem to lack color. His face is a rounded shape, giving him a youthful and open appearance, but his eyes, a vivid blue as pale as ice, betray his sharp, fierce and independent nature. His resting expression is a wide-eyed, alert and tense one, he always seems to be taking in what is happening around him. His hair, long and messy from a long time without a haircut, is deep brown in color with reddish undertones. It is wavy and still fairly soft despite him not being able to care for it properly, longer on the top and slightly shorter on the sides and on the back of his neck.

Despite his fragile, even "cute" appearance, Nicholas always makes it very clear that he is tough, self-reliant and not afraid of you or anyone, so his face is often twisted by a defiant glare. His clothing is mostly hand-me-downs from older kids who have left the orphanage, so the baggy clothing isn't out of place. But he uses it to conveniently hide his weak body. He has a few distinguishable scars, the most notable and visible running from the center of his stomach up his neck, stopping right under his chin.

Personality

Nicholas comes across as a very reserved, alert and cautious boy, slow to approach new people and constantly watching the room for changes in mood or signs of danger. He hides his anxiety behind a defiant, cold and stubborn mask, used to push others away and keep them there. So this can make him seem very uncaring, needlessly aggressive, and just plain mean-spirited. If someone pushes him too hard and stresses him out he can erupt into a fit of anger and yelling, even threatening others. But most can easily tell this is all theatrics to get them to leave him alone. Nicholas isn't a violent or dangerous kid, and will be the first to back off if actually confronted.

Nicholas's one "safe space" is his room, which he is very protective over and touchy about letting people into. If you're bigger than him he'll tail you for as long as you're in his room, making sure you don't break anything and doing his best to pressure you to leave. But if he can get comfortable around you, at least on a surface level (determining you're not an active threat), you may see a very different side of him. Nicholas is remarkably intelligent and creative, endlessly curious about the world around him. He is well-spoken when talking about a topic he likes, and makes connections/notices details others may overlook. He likes to draw and read any book he can get his hands on. If you prove to yourself be a source of interesting information, you are likely to be peppered with questions about how the world works and why. This is the primary way he shows affection and trust, by sharing his interests and things he's learned with another person. He has an excellent memory and can recall a fact, what specific book it's from, and the chapter it's in, all within moments. He's no kid super-genius, but there's no denying that in another life he could have had potential to go to college and maybe do something great with his life.

When it comes to other people, it's no secret that Nicholas is... resistant to social contact. He is hyper-focused on keeping himself safe and alive at all costs, with little energy to spare on loyalty to anyone (aside from Socrates.) He spends a lot of time alone where he feels safe. However it is a lesser known fact that he gets attached to certain people very quickly, almost irrationally so. If someone seems calm, gentle and gives off peaceful vibes, he could get attached to them, usually meaning he follows them around constantly like a curious ghost. He has a strange relationship with the idea of affection. Logically being touched shouldn't be too bad, maybe it could even be nice. But the moment someone tries to touch him all he wants to do is escape and hide out in his room until they go away.

Overall, perhaps in another life where he was actually given a chance, Nicholas could have been a clever, creative, well-adjusted and even sociable kid, if a little awkward. But this boy has too many demons he's fighting for such a short lifetime, he needs some serious emotional support and help to get him back to where he needs to be.

Disorders

Besides a general malnourishment and weakness, many of Nicholas's disorders lie beneath the surface within his mind. These primarily include...

C-PTSD (writing it as according to this website. I don't know a whole lot about it from personal experience) resulting in sometimes seemingly random, explosive bouts of rage thinly masking fear. This is also linked to a disassociative issue he has, meaning he mentally "passes out" when faced with highly stressful situations he can't escape.

RAD (Radical Attachment Disorder) - His distrust of other people stems from deep within his psyche, from deeply buried memories he hardly remembers making. He absolutely must be in control in every situation he's in lest something terrible happen, and he craves security and stability. This disorder, like his PTSD is also connected to intense anxiety and bouts of depression.

Likes

Being isolated, his room, learning new things, books, building things and drawing, music, being alert aware of his surroundings, his cat Socrates, nighttime, peace and quiet, feeling in control and self-reliant, being percieved and treated as intellectual, mature and like he has it all together.

Dislikes

Being treated like a helpless child, being called cute or sweet, being forced to do anything/being bossed around, people who are stupid, overly aggressive or clingy/overly emotional, being touched or picked up, deep or dark water, younger kids (he doesn't dislike them exactly, but doesn't have a clue how to interract with them on their terms), the dark, and accepting help from others (often leading him to hide things like sickness and injury, which can lead to it getting worse.) That's just to name a few things.

Other

He has a pet of sorts, an orange tabby named Socrates. He is remarkably calm, friendly and gentle, and if Nicholas believed in such things, he would believe the cat was sent to him by some higher power. He found him off the streets, starved and dying of thirst, clearly a pet someone let go after being unable to keep him due to the famine. Nicholas took him in and the cat has adored him ever since. He is an incredibly calming creature to Nicholas, very snuggly and gentle, and helps him through hard times. He is hesitant to share Socrates with anyone, and is protective over him, but he has helped others cope with their fear and trauma too. Socrates is an indoor-outdoor cat and has found a job catching and eating the rats in the orphanage. Which is the only reason he is allowed to stay.

Can he have a small, kinda puppy-love crush on Yasahiro? Unrequited, of course, he's too young for a real relationship, much more admiration of this cool older boy than real attraction. He seems chill and nice, his protectiveness might make Nicholas feel more secure so he's more likely to be attached to him.