Wolf Play : Seeking Advice for Coming Out at School
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Seeking Advice for Coming Out at SchoolFebruary 8, 2022 08:20 PM

Luck
Darkseeker
 
Posts: 3560
#2705904
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Hello there, I am a member in my high school musical and it's one of my safe spaces, my favorite things to do. The other cast members are really nice and I think I'm becoming friends or at least mutuals with a lot of them, however there is an issue I need to resolve.
I am transgender, female to male, and my deadname and the pronouns she/her give me a lot of dysphoria. (My deadname also has a bad connotation with me due to past traumas.) Only 4 people know my name and pronouns, and it honestly hurts to be misgendered and deadnamed by those who don't know.
My two largest fears are that 1. the other students will be transphobic towards me, or 2. word will spread around the school and my parents will find out. My father is not supportive, and I really fear him knowing.
My best friend urges me (not pressuring, more affirming) to come out, they say that most theater groups are really accepting and that it's not in the school's policy to inform parents about a student's gender identity. I believe they came out and their parents were not informed, but their parents already knew, and I really fear my parents finding out, so I'm afraid to take that risk.
I'm just not sure how to come out to my castmates, when to do it or if I should at all, but any and all advice is greatly appreciated. Thank you for your time.
Seeking Advice for Coming Out at SchoolFebruary 8, 2022 08:34 PM

Zippli
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Posts: 104
#2705913
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Personally from growing up in a toxic religious home and coming out in middle school. It was not the right time to do it. I'd say wait till you're on your own. It's frankly safer. I know it sucks not being able to be yourself 100% of the time but trust me coming out right now would only cause you more issues than it's worth right now. Plus if you're in high school right so you only have a few more years or a year left till it would be a safer time to come out. I'd keep it to a small group of friends that way you still have support but not completely out which puts you at less risk of your parents knowing.

Edited at February 8, 2022 08:36 PM by Zippli

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