I need suggestion for editing this second draft, of a bio I'm making for someone. God I need some fresh eyes
This wolf, well, is legit gorgeous. Even by wolf standards. Her clear brown coat, silky and smooth, reflected the beauty of a cool autumn day. So predictably, she was constantly hounded by the males of her pack. But none of them she dea a worthy mate for a wolf of such pretty features.
So eventually. She decided to take finding a mate into her own paws.
So she left her pack to conquer the great unknown, and possibly find a mate she would find close to as handsome as she.
But belive me, living in the forest is no easy task. Especially for pack animals.
She just barely got by on a measly amount of voles. life wasn’t wasn’t necessarily good, and when you get to the heart of it how clear the coat is doesn’t really help you catch prey.
She was left with resorting to chewing on the bones of the few meals she got. Every day she fell asleep, a deep pit in her stomach.
……
And the days weren’t only hungry, but lonely. Day by day, her mating calls were never heard. She was getting desperate, and beginning to miss her packs company.
But one day, she finally hears what she was hoping for.
A mating call, and a male one nonetheless
Finally another wolf! To feed her, to be her company!
She rushed across the forest to the source of the howl.
But, when she finally did arrive, the wolf standing in front of her wasn’t necessarily what she hoped.
His coat was spotty, unclear and murky.
See, he wasn’t necessarily what she deemed attractive.
But pretty or not, she was low on food.
And if she could stay with him long enough to get back on her feet….
Yes, she really was that shallow.
So she reluctantly accepted him as her mate.
She decided even if he was an eyesore, she could keep him until she found a better option.
But it didn’t necessarily turn out that way.
As they went on more and more hunts together, spending more time with each other, his looks became less and less deterring. Over time, instead of seeing him as ugly, and speckled, she began to see him as cute and sweet.
And soon she realized just how shallow she was being. And now with her mate, she is finally happy. Because through seeing someone as something more than her looks, she began to see herself through that light also.
And now, with a litter approaching them, she no longer cares if they are clear or speckled, she will love them nonetheless…(: