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Neutral
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Literally same-
Determined_Wolf said:
Stop.Actually stop. I do this in actual speaking when I get excited-
Lost Memories said:
I realized how much I just used the word "fucking" in my single reply, lmao I swear like a pirate when I get excited (and otherwise, but especially then), so, uh, oops? XD Also, I love 9 and Guardian of the Galaxy as well, but I picked up those later on, haha
Yeah I go back and forth. I disassociate a shit ton. I've gotten to a point where I've learned how to physically shut off my brain to avoid (or rather, repress) stressors. The thing is, if I'm with people I care about, I do so differently. I got kinda manic- It makes for great stories later, 'cause I'm never hostile or anything, just kinda out of control. Laughing and crying at everything with absolutely no filter. I never remember anything. On the flip side, I go mute and just kind of blank. And then sometimes I have panic attacks or depression breakdowns. Depends on the situation I guess-
Overthink101 said:
Yes, me too. Not sure if I'd get panicked... I tend to shutdown instead. I do get super paranoid though. Start watching exits, doing headcounts of everyone I know, constantly sweeping the room with my eyes to keep watch of everything going on... That kind of stuff.
Lost Memories said:
Honestly, if all the gay neurodivergent people got into a room together, I think it'd be a great party- Expect that people like me would be overstimulated and panicked about the crowd the whole time, so maybe throw in some sensory rooms and shit too, then we're solid XD
Determined_Wolf said:
The movie 9 was so fun to watch as a kid but ROTTMNT and Guardians of the Galaxy was top tier also love history and psychology so I think this is just all neurodivernt people lol-
Overthink101 said:
Adapa... We might be clones. Except it wasn't Mufasa and The Lion King for me. Instead it was horror movies and 9 (which is still my favorite movie to this day, right near Guardians of the Galaxy, Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, and The Transformers: The Movie). History and psychology for me! I love history (especially wars) and I love psychology. ... Maybe it's the neurodivergence lmaoo
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Neutral
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Not remotely weird! I have a couple of friends like this too, it's totally valid!
Determined_Wolf said:
Is it weird that Im more of a sociable neurodivergent? like, I still need breaks from people afterwards but I like interacting with people and being loud in conversations! (Unless there are more than two loud conversations happening at the same time because then i just feel really gross like i dont know how to describe it??)
Overthink101 said:
Yes, me too. Not sure if I'd get panicked... I tend to shutdown instead. I do get super paranoid though. Start watching exits, doing headcounts of everyone I know, constantly sweeping the room with my eyes to keep watch of everything going on... That kind of stuff.
Lost Memories said:
Honestly, if all the gay neurodivergent people got into a room together, I think it'd be a great party- Expect that people like me would be overstimulated and panicked about the crowd the whole time, so maybe throw in some sensory rooms and shit too, then we're solid XD
Determined_Wolf said:
The movie 9 was so fun to watch as a kid but ROTTMNT and Guardians of the Galaxy was top tier also love history and psychology so I think this is just all neurodivernt people lol-
Overthink101 said:
Adapa... We might be clones. Except it wasn't Mufasa and The Lion King for me. Instead it was horror movies and 9 (which is still my favorite movie to this day, right near Guardians of the Galaxy, Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, and The Transformers: The Movie). History and psychology for me! I love history (especially wars) and I love psychology. ... Maybe it's the neurodivergence lmaoo
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Not too weird to be a more social one, I don't think- I'm pretty social, I just don't like crowds or loud places or all my friends being in different areas in a crowd/loud place or anything like that. I'm still not used to describing my repetitive gestures as stimming- Like I do it all the time, but it's still just... Weird to say it's stimming for me? Definitely understand the whole being seen thing though And yessss, 9 was terrifying as a very young child and every Guardians movie is amazing - The documentary is on Paramount! As is every TMNT series, pretty sure. I tend to either hit or miss with teachers. And, yeah, I totally get all of that. I just don't tend to like people in general so the less social aspects are better for me lol I don't think it would've stopped WWII from happening, honestly. Italy and the Japanese Empire and the Soviet Union all would've still been a problem, after all. |
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Mikey is always my favorite- Though Donnie is always my close second while Leo and Raphael go back and forth between third and forth. My favorite duo is always Mikey and Donnie too, though Mikey and Raph are close second for 2012 and Leo and Donnie are close 2nd for Rise. Dunno why Mikey's always my favorite, just is. He kinda just feels like smiling depression to me in a weird way, and I have a love-hate relationship with it... Though I live off his angst, lmao
Overthink101 said:
I know right?? It's so cool- And so weird too- The dude could've stopped Hitler but didn't because he was too much of a good person... Super weird to think about. Yeah- 2012 (the 3D show you're referring to, pretty sure) is what I grew up on too. But Rise and 2003 are my favorites because yes. Donatello is my favorite turtle, alwys. And Raph is usually my 2nd favorite. And then Mikey and Leo usually get to duke it out for 3rd and 4th, they depend on the universe/iteration more than anyone haha
Determined_Wolf said:
The WWI soldier story is SO cool! they both wrote about it in their diaries like what?? that's so crazy??? Anywaysss I grew up with the 3D tmnt show but rise is my favorite becayse them <3
Overthink101 said:
... Every TMNT iteration is amazing. 2003, 2012, and Rise all have special places in my heart though. Especially 2003 and Rise. 2012 only gets it because it was the iteration that introduced me to TMNT. And when I say every TMNT iteration, I include the documentary I was able to find for it too. Same with Transformers. The only ones I don't like are the obvious ones. Bayberse, Armada, and Energon. And the 2016 animated show one that was supposed to be a sequel to Prime and absolutely failed in every way possible. Yessss- I don't tend to speak up in class discussions though, I do way better at the writing haha- I like writing and analyzing and... Yeah. Did you know that in WWI a soldier had a chance to shoot a retreating Hitler but didn't??? I thought about pursuing psychology but then I realized I am nowhere near the right type of person for it haha. I don't like people much usually. - I think it's probably the neurodivergent spice lol
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I get that. You know, I only started actually recognizing my movements as "abnormal" or stimming when my friend group shifted a few years ago and I started to actually understand and research psychology due to my group being generally excited and versed in it, still feels a little weird to call it stimming to me too, though, their just my normal movement along with a few I pick up from those I hang out with the most (I'm so bad about mimicking without even realizing until later :')), so- I dunno - Ooo, I shall go find this, thank you! Very fair. That's true. The Japanese Empire especially doesn't get recognized as much for everything they did- Though Italy and the Soviet Union shouldn't be downplayed either. Coulda gotten rid of part of the problem though, haha
Overthink101 said:
Not too weird to be a more social one, I don't think- I'm pretty social, I just don't like crowds or loud places or all my friends being in different areas in a crowd/loud place or anything like that. I'm still not used to describing my repetitive gestures as stimming- Like I do it all the time, but it's still just... Weird to say it's stimming for me? Definitely understand the whole being seen thing though And yessss, 9 was terrifying as a very young child and every Guardians movie is amazing - The documentary is on Paramount! As is every TMNT series, pretty sure. I tend to either hit or miss with teachers. And, yeah, I totally get all of that. I just don't tend to like people in general so the less social aspects are better for me lol I don't think it would've stopped WWII from happening, honestly. Italy and the Japanese Empire and the Soviet Union all would've still been a problem, after all.
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Not going to lie- I don't tend to ever go manic or hostile or anything really outwards. At least, since I've gotten older. When I was younger I'd do both. Shutdown and get real outwardly panicky I guess. I always shutdown nowadays though. I can't talk, I can't really even shake/nod my head. I get really rigid. I can't really think about much except for what's going on/what's wrong. I don't think I've ever actually had a panic attack or anything though. Just shutdowns and depressive breakdowns. I internalize a lot of stuff, I guess. As much as I love psychology and over analyze all of my characters- I have almost no self-awareness for this stuff lol - Donatello has always been the most relatable for me. Uh. So that's probably why he's always my favorite. Raph is pretty relatable too so... Yeah. |
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Yeahhh, I only started noticing it with myself because I got peer reviewed by my friends who are also neurodivergent haha. And then I tried denying it because... Honestly not sure why. Uh. Internalized ableism, I guess? Like others being neurodivergent was fine, I didn't care, I was no judge. Myself was a different story for some reason though ahah.. - Of course! No problem! Oh for sure could've helped the problem not be as bad, but as you mentioned- None of the others should be downplayed either
Lost Memories said:
I get that. You know, I only started actually recognizing my movements as "abnormal" or stimming when my friend group shifted a few years ago and I started to actually understand and research psychology due to my group being generally excited and versed in it, still feels a little weird to call it stimming to me too, though, their just my normal movement along with a few I pick up from those I hang out with the most (I'm so bad about mimicking without even realizing until later :')), so- I dunno - Ooo, I shall go find this, thank you! Very fair. That's true. The Japanese Empire especially doesn't get recognized as much for everything they did- Though Italy and the Soviet Union shouldn't be downplayed either. Coulda gotten rid of part of the problem though, haha
Overthink101 said:
Not too weird to be a more social one, I don't think- I'm pretty social, I just don't like crowds or loud places or all my friends being in different areas in a crowd/loud place or anything like that. I'm still not used to describing my repetitive gestures as stimming- Like I do it all the time, but it's still just... Weird to say it's stimming for me? Definitely understand the whole being seen thing though And yessss, 9 was terrifying as a very young child and every Guardians movie is amazing - The documentary is on Paramount! As is every TMNT series, pretty sure. I tend to either hit or miss with teachers. And, yeah, I totally get all of that. I just don't tend to like people in general so the less social aspects are better for me lol I don't think it would've stopped WWII from happening, honestly. Italy and the Japanese Empire and the Soviet Union all would've still been a problem, after all.
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Neutral
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Yeah, that makes sense. For me, it's complicated because I absorbe so much emotion from those around me. It gets to a point where, even if I need to, I won't allow myself to fully shut down in my most common way (going mute and unresponsive) because the energy around me, specifically by people I feel connected to, is so high. That's where I go manic. Again, never hostile, just... Manic. I will literally say the most insane shit that reflects the energy of those around me, which often causes a reaction of positive and very energetic reaction that I again reciprocate. Since my brain is still disconnected, I still consider this an anxiety response. Once the energy dips, I go into a kind of depressed state, usually. I disassociate a lot though, basically all the time if I'm not in a direct conversation with friends or hyperfixated on something, lol Panic attacks aren't super common for me, but they definitely happen, usual when my repressed energy gets too much. I mean, it's either a panic attack or breakdown then, so- - In all honesty... What your describing could be a panic attack. There are tons of different ways to have panic attacks, and I've certainly had ones similar to what you're describing before. Here's how I'm gonna explain this, and keep in mind, this is just the information I have from personal experience and from what close friends have described to me as well as a little bit of research, don't just take my word and roll with it, I recommend doing your own exploration if what I say sounds accurate for how you feel, I could be totally off. :) So, first, disassociation and panic attacks are two different things. You can have disassociation without having a panic attack, however, from what I've been told, it's rare to have a panic attack without some form of disassociation. I disassociate a ton, but I've learned how to differentiate between that and a panic attack based on multiple occasions and some reflection. For me, disassociation is easier to trigger. I do it intentionally at times because it's an escape. A lot of times, I disassociate to a place I can control. I'm still out of it to the real world, and it's hard to get my attention, but it's not necessarily negative in my head... Though it is often. With panic attacks, again, for me, it's more physical. I disassociate first, but it's less controlled. Then my chest clenches, I have trouble breathing, and I can't process what's happening around me. My mind is entirely blank and it's kind of an out of body experience. I have no control. However, others have described their panic attacks in very different ways. Some things they've told me are that they have trouble processing and lose control over their actions. Sometimes their minds are blank, other times, they're going a thousand miles an hour, overthinking whatever happened to make them panic in the first place. They lose sense of their surroundings and often tense and hove trouble breathing. A lot of the time, from the outside, panic attacks aren't noticable. It just looks like someone's zoned out. Just something to think about, I hope this helps :) - I feel that, Donnie is also the one I relate to most, Mikey actually the least probably, maybe Raph, but in Rise, I'm basically him, so- I just find Mikey interesting, haha |
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Neutral
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That's all fair. See though, and this is why I say shutdown instead of a panic attack, I never have any trouble breathing. It's not really panic. If anything, the repetitive thoughts about what's going on/what's wrong are more like blaming. I guess. The thoughts aren't panicky, they're more like... 'This is stupid. I shouldn't be upset over this. Normal people don't get upset over this' and just stuff like that. Not really panic. And, well, okay- Let me clarify- I'm not using shutdown to mean dissociation, that's a whole different thing that I have no idea on if I do or not. By shutdown, I just mean i feel like I physically cannot respond. My mind isn't blank, it's not like I'm watching myself. It's literally just... It's like executive dysfunction turned up a notch or five or whatever. - I am basically Donnie and Raph as one haha. No matter the iteration too, so, uh, yeah. Oddly enough, I don't tend to enjoy the 'smiling depression' type as you coined earlier for Mikey. The emotionally unavailable badboy image that is completely false and actuallg hides feelings of worthlessness and uselessnwss is much more up my alley B) |
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Neutral
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Ah, I see. So intrusive thoughts then? And sprinkles of lovely depressive shutdowns. I feel that in my soul, lmao Though yours sound more severe than mine, honestly. I tend to panic first, shut down later. And I'm pretty good at masking when I do shut down, like I can still move and stuff, at least, usually. If I'm honest, I really don't fully shut down much, and, when I do, it's usually similar to what your describing, only, like, a lot more crying. I'm curled into a ball and never moving again, lol Mostly, I just disassociate and pretend I don't exist, you know, fun stuff :) Though, I will say, those intrusive thoughts sound somewhat like mine to, not remotely fun, but you're definitely not alone in them. Just remember you've fucking awesome and, also, my PMs are always open for bad days and shit <3 - Yeah, I tend to be an odd mix of Donnie and Leo in basically every iteration. Except if we're looking at Rise, then I am Raph. It feels like they took my soul, shuffled around a few things, and then shoved it into a giant, animated turtle, lol Lmaooo, love that for you XD |
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Fall Month: 2 
Day Weather: 
Light Rain
