*Slams face into table* Lost, somehow your post has inspired this almost entirely unrelated snippet of Tythan/Ether gremlin energy...
~
Ethan, sleeptalking at 2AM: I kind of want a cheeseburger right now.
Tyler: *Snaps awake*
=-9AM The Next Morning-=
Ethan: *Yawns and stretches* Good morning Ty- *Notices the rat child is missing* oh shIT LEROY HELP!
Leroy: *Breaks the door down in his rush to appear* What? What's wrong?
Ethan: TJ's not around! The blankets are cold, he's been unsupervised for at least an hour!
Nabih: *Just entering* FUCK *Races to the TV and turns on the news, channel surfing for information* Nothing, nothing, noth- Here!
News: This just in, apparently a large population of gormet-quality Black Angus cows have been discovered outside of their farms all across the country. Police suspect this to be a coordinated animal rights protest, though no group has yet come forward to lay claim to this. Oddly enough, only the labeled Black Angus cows were targeted, and investigators are still trying to figure out why certain farms were targetd.
Leroy: He could be anywhere by now! Why is he even jailbreaking cows?
Ethan: We don't know that it's actually him- Okay, sorry, I just heard myself. It was definitely Tyler. *Sigh of utter defeat*
Nabih: I'll get the tracker.
Random Neighbor: Oh, hey, what smells so good?
Leroy: Huh? *Opens window and looks out*
Tyler: *Is on the hotel's front lawn, squatting next to a massive bull carcass and elbow deep into it's organs. A primative pit smoker and grill is cooking nearby, with a slowly growing crowd of gawkers surrounding him*
Leroy: Ethan, please tell me why your boyfriend is cutting up a dead cow to entertain the passersby...
Ethan: wait he'S WHAT
Tyler: *Has just slapped down a large steak on the grill, and is currently filling up the primative smoker with ribs*
Crowd: *Some dude has brought out paper plates and is trying to grab some of the already cooked meat*
Tyler: *Hisses like a fucking rattlesnake*
Crowd: *Steak Dude backs off real damned quick*
Ethan, Nabih, & Leroy: *Run down to figure out what the hell TJ's doing now*
Leroy: Outta my way, movin' through, shove off, nice shirt dude, make way!
Nabih: *Following Leroy* Sorry, I'm sorry, he doesn't mean to be rude, okay yeah nice shirt, sorry!
Ethan: *Makes his way into the ring surrounding the dirt gremlin* Tyler... Why do you have a cow?
Tyler: *Looks up and notices Ethan* Oh, hey E! *Innocent-Sunshine-Child grins, looking very proud* Look, cheeseburgers!
=-There are, in fact, cheeseburgers-=
Ethan: *Melts on the spot, because he's a sucker for his birdboy* They smell really good!
Leroy: *Facepalms nearby, because goddamnit Ethan you're supposed to be chastising him for doing an illegal*
Nabih: *From next to Leroy* They are super cute together though.
Tyler: *Turns up the smile wattage, then notices Steak Dude trying to sneak a piece* rAWR! *Abandons the carcass to pounce on the thief, growling at the poor terrified man. Steak Dude is covered in cow's blood now*
Ethan: *Enters the Forbidden Ring*
Crowd: *Shocked gasps and murmers, the mob expecting him to be attacked*
Ethan: *Flips the steak, checks the smoker, and generally just starts tending to the food while Tyler's putting the fear of himself into poor innocent bystanders*
Steak Dude: i'm soRRY! *Has just had a religious experience*
Tyler: *Growls once more for completion's sake, then ambles back to the cow to finish tearing it apart.* Mmh. Keeping the head. *Begins scraping the last of the meat off of the carcass' bones* Scapula? *Offers the large, mostly cleaned shoulder bone to Ethan*
Ethan: What would I even use a skapalpa for?
Tyler: It's really good for beating your enemies into submission.
Ethan: Sure, what the fuck, why not?
Fall 
Night Weather: 
Light Rain Moon: 
