Aries: Uh, I think I got your lunch. *Holds up a note that reads: ‘I am very proud of you. Love, Cal’*
Axel: Oh yeah. I didn’t think this was for me. *Holds up a note that reads: ‘Be good. For the love of God, Please be good.’*

Computer: Please enter a password.
Leroy: *types in Nabih*
Computer: Your password is too weak.
Leroy: How fucking DARE YOU-

Nabih: Leroy is not a morning person. Or a night person. There’s really only about seven minutes a day you are fun to be around.
Leroy: The best part is you never know when they’re coming.

Leroy, to Nabih: How do you tell someone politely you want to hit them with a brick?

Leroy: Valentine’s day is just a consumerist holiday that holds no real value other than drive people insane buying heart shaped chocolates for their significant others and pos-
Nabih: I wrote you a poem.
Leroy, already crying: You did?

Ethan: You believe me?
Tyler: Ethan, you’re the last good person on this planet. I‘d believe cartoon birds braided your hair this morning.

Tyler: Can I have 2 straws with that milkshake?
Ethan: Aww-
Tyler: With 2 straws, I can drink it double as fast!

Aries, rubbing their temples: I am not proud of what I am about to say, but someone get me a cigarrette.
Ethan: But Aries, we don't smoke.
Aries: Cut the crap, Ethan. I'm not an idiot. I know that one in five people smoke.
Aries: *points at Ethan* One! *points at Cal* Two! *points at Evie* Three! *points at Axel* Four! *points at Leroy* Five!
Aries: Now, I am going to close my eyes, and when I open them, there better be a cigarrette between these two fingers!
Leroy: *puts a cigarrette in Aries's hand*
Aries: Thank you. ...Light?
The Squad: *all simultaneously pull out lighters*

Ethan: The floor is lava!
Axel: *helps Aries onto the counter*
Cal: *kicks Evie off the sofa*
Leroy: *lays on the floor*
Ethan: ...Are you okay?
Leroy: No.

Ethan: Tyler kissed me!
Axel: Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God!
Ethan: It was unbelievable!
Axel: Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God!
Cal: Okay, we wanna hear everything. Axel, get the wine and unplug the phone. Ethan, does this end well or do we need tissues?
Ethan: Oh, it ended very well.
Axel: Do not start without me! Do not start without me!
Cal: Okay, alright, let’s hear about the kiss. Was it a soft brush against your lips or was it like a, you know, “I gotta have you now” kind of thing?
Ethan: Well, at first it was really intense, you know? And then, oh God, and then we just sort of sunk into it.
Cal: Ohh... So, okay, were they holding you? Or were their hands on your back?
Ethan: First they started out on my waist and then they slid up and then they were in my hair.
Axel and Cal: Ohhh.
*meanwhile*
Tyler, eating pizza in their house: And, uh, and then I kissed them.
Evie: Tongue?
Tyler: Yeah.
Aries: Cool.

Axel: Aries is too tall for me to kiss them on the lips. What should I do?
Leroy: Punch them in the stomach. Then, when they double over in pain, kiss them.
Cal: Tackle them!
Evie: Dump them.
Tyler: Kick them in the shin!
Aries: No to all of those! Just ask me to lean down!!

Okay so I found two quotes and-

Cal: Hey Aries?
Aries: Yes?
Cal: Can a person breathe inside a washing machine while it’s on?
Aries:
Aries: Where’s Axel?

Cal: Why are you on the floor?
Aries: I'm depressed.
Aries: Also I was stabbed, can you get Axel, please.