Aladar shifted with a wince and another groan, finally managing to get a decent glimpse of the bloody mess he called a leg. He could see muscle, which wasn’t good, but it did mean at least it didn’t go down to bone. He gave another groan, head falling back again, hoping the cold would stop the bleeding. But then again, it also made the muscle more susceptible to frost bite and that could mean losing the leg.

Blinking, he looked at Allen when the man wasn’t leaving and then told him he wasn’t in words. “Allen...” his voice lowered to a near growl, though it was scratchy and tense from pain. Not that the stubborn soldier was listening, already gone. Craning his neck, the Captain was able to make out the man collecting the warm furs from the body. He was smart... he gave him that at least.

His body gave a rather violent shudder as he felt the freezing to his very bone, a hiss released between his teeth, eyes closing. The soft thump of furs beside him brought his eyes open again to find Allen kneeling beside. “Somewhat,” he grumbled in reference to the armor, trying his best to undo some of the ties and buttons though most required him to twist his body in an uncomfortable way. Though it seemed the soldier was one step ahead of him, helping him out of the wet armor. Not that that made him feel better at first, the cold assaulting his less protected body.

When the furs were draped over him, they helped some, but his concern was shifting to his leg, though he was still shivering. The freezing temperatures already felt like they were set into his bones. “You.. You need to move some... of the furs... to my leg. We... we need to... wrap it. If... frostbite sets in... I could lose the leg.” Call it a man’s pride but he would rather freeze to death then lose the leg. Though he would rather not die either.

Everything was feeling colder by the second as the dark was setting in. He was leaning forward, trying to help get his leg set up. “Here...” There was a loud groan as he had to shift to undo his belt and pull it from his pants, handing it to the man. “Tighten... tighten it above the wound...” The whole leg felt like it was on fire but he knew that would help keep the blood flow stemmed. “The... take this...” He fumbled with the buckle to the leather strap he had hooked around his shoulder, starting to feel the cold even through his gloved hands. But he managed, handing the strap to him. “Wrap... wrap one of the... furs around it... and tighten with this...”

He was wearing out faster by the moment, his face twitching with the pain as he fell back against the trunk, finding some comfort in the support the cold wood offered his back. Though the man was still shivering, perhaps even a little worse now. “Allen... you should go... there... there is nothing more.. To do for... me. You’ll freeze out... here too if you... don’t.” Somehow, even now he was thinking about the soldier. He should have been more vigilant, never gotten the soldier into this.

She heard him say her name... Well, the only name he knew her by. He was angry at her disobedience, yet she was sure he was also glad that he wasn't alone... At least, that's what she told herself. She told herself that she was doing the right thing by disobeying him and staying to help as well as she could. She was sure that someone in the camp had noticed the captain's absence by now, though Allen wouldn't be missed. It wouldn't do them any good, though; they hadn't told anyone where they were going, and a fresh layer of snow was beginning to cover their footprints. They'd have to wait for the morning patrol... If Aladar made it that long.

Ali piled his wet armor beside him, noticing how her hands were beginning to shake. She hadn't been worried about protecting herself from the cold, but as the temperatures dropped, she could feel every vulnerability in her clothing, and her fingers were beginning to go disturbingly numb. The captain spoke again then, telling her to add another layer of the furs to his leg to ward off frostbite. She nodded, immediately moving to do as he said.

Before she could do much, though, Aladar shifted positions slightly and handed her his belt. At first, she held it with a slightly confused expression, until she understood what he wanted her to do. With a nod, she gingerly lifted his injured leg from the snow, wrapping the belt around it and tightening it as much as she could, in an attempt to slow the bleeding from his leg that was still concerning. Then, she wrapped another fur tightly around his leg, using the strap he offered to hold it in place.

Holding the last fur in her hands, she draped it over him as well as she could, offering a weak, shivering smile. "I'm not leaving, sir. I'm sorry, I can't." She stood again, beginning to pace back and forth in an attempt to keep moving and stay warm. There had to be something else she could do... It didn't seem to be enough, he was still shivering, and now so was she. Hypothermia would soon set in, for him first and then eventually for her. Yet she knew she couldn't go back to the camp, to warmth. Leaving him here alone for even an hour or less would be long enough for the bitter Haverndin cold to claim him, and it would take almost an hour for her to reach the camp on foot. Even if rescuers came on horseback, it would still take far too long to reach him.

She paced for a while, lost in thought, until an idea came to her. A desperate, stupid idea that she knew she'd regret. Yet she didn't hesitate to put it into action immediately, desperation guiding her as she stumbed over to where the captain lay. She slipped off the outer layer of her armor and laid her coat over him for another layer of warmth, shivering violently in the cold before she knelt beside him. Her hands shook as she scraped out a hollow spot in the snow that was just big enough for her to curl against him.

Then, without thinking of the consequences of such a thing, she briefly lifted the layers of furs, just long enough to slip under them, pressing her faintly shivering body against the captain for warmth.

The only problem was that some... differences... were immediately noticeable.

The moving of his leg was excruciating, the man letting out a sharp breath as he jolted some when Allen was forced to move it to be able to wrap the belts and furs. It made him feel sick the amount of pain it brought, and the cold that was pushing through him wasn’t helping either. Even as the last fur was draped over his body, at this point it didn’t feel like it was helping much.

Exhausted pained eyes watched the soldier pace nearby and he shook his head. “You’ll freeze,” he croaked out, head falling back again as he released a breath, the puff of white rising through the air. “No.. No point in... both of us... succumbing to the... cold.” He could feel his voice wavering, hear the shake as he spoke. Not ideal. Not ideal at all. None of it was ideal though.

And that was when Allen did truly the most unexpected thing, pulling off his armor and draping his coat over the Captain. “Allen... what...” What was the man thinking? He was going to totally freeze in the cold without his coat, and it truly would do little for Aladar at this point who was already possibly beyond the point of making much more body heat to even keep the covers warmed up enough to keep him warm.

If that wasn’t surprising enough, his words had been cut off when Allen crawled under the furs and pressed against Alader. The soldier... he.. No... The Captain’s eyes widened some and he leaned away ever so slightly with a heavy groan, trying to shake away some of the fogginess to try and clear his mind. Allen was no he... he, rather she, was clearly a woman, evident when she had pressed her body to his.

The cold could not allow him to stay away from using her as a heat source so he eased back into leaning against her, though he was struggling heavily with the situation. It didn’t help that one top of everything his head still felt as though it were pounding.

“You have... some... explaining to do...” he growled out before groaning, hating the fact that he was now wrapping his arms around the female’s body that felt warmer and brought some relief from the cold. His body shuddered again as he took a shaky breath, head dipping to try and escape the bitter weather by pressing to her shoulder. “Who are you... and what are... you doing... in my company?” he breathed out, voice now muffled slightly from where his head was positioned.

How could he have missed something this obvious? The occasional voice changes, his, no her aloofness, all of it. And it had been a woman’s battle cry that he had heard earlier. Part of him was relieved that in this particular situation Allen turned out to be a woman... but there were still so many questions, so many problems with everything. And truth was, Aladar could not get his head wrapped around it in his state. “If we... make it out... of this in one... piece... you... are going to... be reprimanded... from here... all the way past.... the western oceans... do you.... hear me??”

He knew... She knew in that moment that she'd made a mistake, but it was better to be found out by her captain than to die out here. And it was so much warmer here, curled up next to him... She still shivered, all prior fears pushed aside in favor of the pursuit of warmth as she pressed against him, her arms tucked close to her body as she tucked her head into his hair, trying to shield her face from the wind.

He moved away from her, briefly, and she couldn't silence the soft cry of protest that escaped her. The frigid air flooded the gap between them immediately, and she did not like it. It seemed, though, that the captain couldn't stand the cold either, because he soon leaned against her once more, wrapping his arms around her. She closed her eyes for a moment, clenching her chattering teeth as she tried again to bury her face in his hair, or anywhere else the wind wouldn't hurt so badly. He was partially shielded from the biting wind by the trunk of the tree he'd been leaning against before, but her face was more or less exposed to the elements as she curled up underneath the layers of furs. They seemed to do no good; her bones were chilled, and it only seemed to be getting colder, despite his arms wrapped around her and his warmth pressed against her.

"I know... I know," she murmured, her voice trembling as her eyes closed. Her real voice. It felt strange to her own ears after so long, years of blending in, years of perfecting the false front she displayed for everyone else. "I'm sorry... I didn't know what else to do... and after so many years... it just became me..."

She stopped herself before she trailed off and told him too much, pausing to catch her breath and try to find some fading shred of warmth. The cold seemed to have seeped into her mind, her thoughts slowly growing scattered and sluggish as she tried her best to focus. Who are you? Did she know that? The person she was now, the person she'd molded herself into... It was all she knew, but she knew it wasn't her. She knew he wanted to know the truth, the name that felt so foreign on her lips, the things about herself that she had hidden for far too long.

"M-my name is Alyana," she whispered, her voice wavering. "I... came here because... I h-had nowhere else to go... S-sir."

She closed her eyes again, biting her lip as she ducked her head down, trying desperately to get out of the cold. "Please... d-don't send me away," she whispered, more to herself than to him, though she knew he had likely heard. She tried to shift positions, to move closer to him, but her legs were unexpectedly heavy, her body feeling sluggish and slow as the cold began to affect her more severely. She gave a halfhearted, trembling smile, her eyes struggling ever so slightly to focus on him.

"We... We have to s-survive this f-first," she said, pausing every now and then to take a slow breath and gather her thoughts.

Time passed... The light snow stopped, the hazy clouds above giving way to a brilliant starry sky over their heads. Ali had shifted even closer to him as time passed, desperation for warmth driving her to curl up almost on top of him, her arms wrapped loosely around him as his wrapped around her. They lay there for most of the time in absolute silence, but as it grew colder, the desire to sleep began to creep into the corners of her mind. It came slowly at first, a hint of grogginess making her eyes heavy. But suddenly it was much harder to keep her eyes open than it had been a few minutes ago. She blinked a few times, moving her hand to try to get the captain's attention.

"Captain..." she said, struggling to keep her eyes open. Her speech was slurred, her tongue stumbling sluggishly over the simple word. "Gotta... stay awake." Her hand reached for his, and she clumsily squeezed it, intertwining her fingers in his as she tried to move her head and look at his face. Was he awake? This would all have been for nothing if he drifted off now...

Although... why couldn't she let him sleep? Why couldn't she sleep? Her memory failed her, the things she'd been taught, but she still knew that they needed to stay awake... somehow...

"C-cap... Aladar...?" she said uncertainly, the first time she'd addressed him by his name without his title, though she was no longer aware of such a minor detail. "You don't... think we're... gonna die out here. Do you?" Her skin was deathly pale as she shifted slightly to look at him, as was his when she was able to focus on his face. "This isn't how I want... to die."

(feel free to skip to them being found in the morning~ delirious medieval icicles~)

She shivered still, though as the cold set into her bones, her body's attempt to warm her began to fail. She could feel her strength fading, along with the willpower to keep her eyes open as she huddled against his warmth. It wasn't enough, her smaller body mass chilled quicker now that she was still, and it seemed that not even the layers of furs and blankets could shield her from the bitter cold. Her fingers were stiff and cold in his as she held onto his hand for dear life, something to ground her, something for her to focus on and to keep her awake. The numb pain of moving her slightly frostbitten fingers helped to keep her focused.

He said they weren't going to die... She didn't believe him, though she couldn't find the words to voice her thoughts. She was so cold... It felt like she was shutting down.

When he moved away from her, she groaned in wordless protest, for a moment not sure what he was doing as he began to scoop away some of the snow in the gap between them. The cold air flooded into the space immediately, but she could hardly feel it anymore, her body numb and almost immobile. She was so tired...

She knew the movement was hurting him, she could hear his groans and grunts of pain, as he forced himself to move and try to give them the best chance of survival. But he was telling her to work with him, to help him, and it took her groggy mind too long to register what he was talking about. She forced stiffened muscles to move when she finally understood what he wanted her to do, though, trying to ease herself into the small hollow in the snow he'd dug. Then, he was there, a shield from the cold, his warmth surrounding her as he did his best to keep both of them warm.

"Th-thank you," she murmured, closing her eyes for just a moment as she buried her face in his shoulder.

The night was still long. His efforts could only do so much, and the cold was relentless. She drifted off once or twice, only to wake in drowsy, disoriented panic, her grip on his hand tightening weakly. She was afraid, she was confused...

But morning came. She never thought she'd be so relieved to see the icy sunrise, the painted eastern sky. Yet the frigid air seemed even harsher, defying the warmth of the sunlight with more bitter cold... Not that she could feel it anymore. She couldn't feel anything except the cold, yet even that seemed to be a distant memory, lost in a haze of confusion just as she was. She was just beginning to drift off again, to lose her grip on consciousness for what would likely be the last time, when the sounds of voices and horses reached her.

She heard their shouts but she couldn't focus enough to tell what they were saying, she was still so sleepy, she just wanted to let her eyes drift closed... Then it was Tendral's voice, much closer, saying words that she couldn't understand. The captain was talking, and she struggled to blink awake, her head shifting ever so slightly to squint up at him. Yet it didn't dawn on her that they were being rescued, not even when Aladar shifted away from her, exposing her to the cold again as she whimpered, sluggishly trying to curl up again as she drew her free hand to her chest in a last-ditch attempt to keep warm. "No..." she whimpered as he was pulled away from her, her eyes squeezed shut to block out the sun and the cold and everything.

Soon, though, she too was lifted from the snow, a thick and warm blanket wrapped around her. Her muscles had stiffened from the cold so much that she remained in nearly the same position as she was pulled up, her hands still held close to her chest and her knees drawn up. It was a struggle to convince her to let go of the captain's hand, as she still tried to cling to him, still desperate for his warmth and comfort in her mentally compromised state. Numb fingers clumsily pulled at the blanket wrapped around her, pulling it closer around her shoulders as she shivered. Still, she didn't seem to fully realize what was going on; she heard the words that the captain spoke to his assistant, but she couldn't make any sense of them, of their weight.

She heard the captain's groans as he was moved, though, and she knew that his leg was hurting him. She turned her head to look at him, watching the soldiers moving him with narrowed eyes as if to make sure they didn't hurt him further.

Soon, though, she was lifted onto the back of a horse, though by whom she didn't know. The trip back to camp on horseback seemed to pass in the blink of an eye, though perhaps she had lost consciousness during the trip... It was all so hazy, she wasn't sure. She just felt the warm blankets around her, and after a while, she finally seemed to understand that they were safe now.

Despite being out of it, Aladar was well aware of how long the ride was and just how much pain the ride was causing his abused leg. He had finally allowed his eyes to close again, trying to find some magical moment of peace now that they were safely rescued, though the person behind him kept jogging him to open his eyes. He was pretty sure it was Tendral and he was torn between being grateful and wishing he had enough coherency to knock the man off the horse.

A few times he did have small snippets of vividness, but only to actually open his eyes wide enough to make sure the female was securely on another horse and covered enough to keep her secret hidden. For now at least. Until he could... think. Well think properly. He was thinking, painfully so and in jumbled thoughts that even his own mind couldn’t quite piece it all together anymore. Honestly, he was to the point where having stayed where he was would have been fine. At least he was still.

Once they were actually in the camp, everything really began to become a haze. A haze of utter pain and discomfort, part of which was feeding into his falling in and out of consciousness. To say the next couple hours weren’t pretty would be an understatement for Aladar. His most conscious moments were those when his leg was being worked on, which no doubt the entire camp could hear. Which was to be expected, the pain of getting the wound cleaned, stitched, and wrapped was excruciating. As was the amount of warmth being pressed to his freezing body.

By the time he was finally settled, he had been changed into warm clothes, his leg splinted to keep it still when he woke, and instead of a shirt, heated towels and blankets wrapped around the bare skin. One of the medics had been working on Aladar and had brought him into a smaller tent that had been set up for the two, specifically kept warm. Lebuin had almost immediately taken point on Alyana’s care, the man having already known she wasn’t Allen, merely because of the gift he had used, a different feeling present when he worked on females compared to males.

Nonetheless, both were tended to and settled in cots across from each other, Alyana’s secret still hidden and Aladar slowly starting to get in better condition. The man’s eyes slowly began to open eventually, the Captain groaning at the stiffness in his limbs, though he was much warmer and able to move now. His brown gaze shifted to see Tendral stretched out in the chair next to him, no doubt reading the letter from his sweetheart again. The man tended to hang onto it for days. It caused the man to quirk a smile before he remembered Alyana.

The Captain lurched forward into an upright position. Well half way there before releasing a strangled noise and groan, falling back with a soft thump, his body and leg clearly not appreciating the sudden movemnt. Beside him, Tendral didn’t even glance in his direction, still scanning the letter he held, “I heard you’re supposed to be hurting like hell for a while. Serves you right, you know. You tried to dump us both off the horse at least five times.” It was said so monotone that for once, it was Aladar who shot a glare in the man’s direction.

“Good... to know you guys... are so worried,” Aladar managed, getting a grip on his own voice again and trying to work out some of the scratchiness. “Where is Allen? Or Alyana... Alyana is her name.” The Captain wanted to try sitting up again though waited for the response.

Tendral finally lifted his gaze to look over his friend and superior officer, a small flash in his eyes the only hint that perhaps he had been more concerned than he cared to admit. “She’s right over there,” he explained, pointing directly across from them where the man could not quite see from his current position. “You both had some hypothermia, though they think you may have had it a little worse. The medics aren’t sure though if it was that or that you may have started going in shock from your leg.”

Aladar nodded for a moment before gesturing Tendral closer, “Help me sit up.” Tendral gave a huff as if inconvenienced, placing the paper down and give his Captain a hand up. Which resulted in a decent amount of hissing before he was properly sitting up, the covers falling down to reveal his chest. The tent itself was probably the warmest in the whole camp since they had practically turned into a sauna to keep the two people warm.

His gaze landed on the sleeping Alyana when Lebuin entered, eyeing the Captain with a warm smile. “Did either of you know about this?” Aladar croaked, indicating the sleeping figure, his attention turning onto the two men. Tendral shook his head, “Just thought he, or she, was one of the weirdest soldiers I met.” Two pairs of eyes landed on the doctor who was now busy inspecting the Captain.

“I may have had a clue before,” the medic said rather calmly before seeming to be content that Aladar seemed well enough for his condition. “But one can never be totally sure without proof, and I considered it drastic to get proof when one wasn’t totally sure.” Had Lebuin been sure? Pretty much.

The Captain gave a grunt in confirmation before bending forward, running a hand through his hair wearily. He felt like crap and his leg was killing him. He wanted to ask about her condition but hadn’t gotten the words yet.

“I salvaged Naomi’s letter from your gear,” Tendral noted offhand to the man who only gave a soft nod. He had forgotten about that.

She didn't remember returning to the camp. Nor did she remember that healer, Lebuin, immediately stepping up to tend to her while the others focused on the captain. But she did remember the captain's cries as his wound was tended, the pain he showed as his freezing body was slowly warmed. She found the process to be near-agonizing, herself, though far less than he did as she didn't have a gaping wound that was also being cleaned and stitched.

For the most part, she was left alone after she started to show signs of improvement. She remembered laying on a cot, wrapped in warm blankets from head to toe, watching as several medics hovered over the captain at any given moment. And she was worried about him, genuinely concerned by his cries and moans of pain... It was more than a soldier's concern for her captain. The two of them had survived something impossible, and it had required mutual cooperation.

And... well... he knew about her. That was a lingering realization in her mind, even when she was still sluggish and cold. He knew about her, and she was so certain that as soon as he recovered, he'd send her away. She'd have to go home... She'd have to return to her husband. And her life would be over.

At some point, an hour or so after they were brought into the warmth of the tent, her eyes drifted closed, and no one made any attempt to wake her. She needed the sleep, now that it was safer for her to do so, and the danger of her never waking up seemed to have passed. She slept peacefully, curled on her side with several heavy, warm blankets draped over her almost strategically to hide any defining features that might have been visible due to her thinner clothing. Despite the slow trickle of people entering and exiting the tent, Alyana did not stir.

At least, until she heard her name. It was still such a shock to her, to hear it spoken aloud after so long. And to hear it in Aladar's voice was enough to begin pulling her out of her slumber. She shifted slightly, opening her eyes and staring blankly ahead in dull confusion for a moment before sleep pulled her under again, her small frame relaxing again with a soft, nearly inaudible sigh.

It was a few minutes later before she finally woke fully, her eyes opening again and slowly moving around to get a general feel of her surroundings without moving her head. This wasn't the main tent. And if she were in the main tent, she'd be sleeping on the ground with a couple of blankets, which was most certainly not the case at the moment. The cot was much more comfortable than her usual lodgings, and the blankets wrapped around her felt truly heavenly. She heard soft voices on the other side of her, just out of her sight, and she slowly turned her head to see. Squinting at them for a moment, she recognized Aladar, Tendral, and after another second, the medic from a few days prior, Lebuin.

With a quiet grunt of effort, she pushed herself up with one elbow, her other arm moving fluidly to keep the blankets where they would hide her figure out of sheer habit. As far as she knew and remembered, Aladar was the only one who knew, which meant that she needed to keep it hidden from these others...

Which was easier said than done when you're wearing only thin clothes and wrapped in blankets.

"Are you alright, Captain?" she asked quietly when she noticed that he seemed to be conscious and was sitting up, her voice falling into its previous masculine tone. Her joints ached, her muscles still stiff, but at least she didn't feel as miserably cold as before.

It was the sound of movement that caused everyone to look towards Alyana as she sat up, looking at them. Aladar had been the last to look, head slowly lifting from its place buried in his hands. His mind adjusted quickly to the familiar way that Allen, no... Alyana. He had to mentally remind himself that now, more comfortable with the idea of the woman being the man he had thought she was, simply because that was his first impression. And it would have been a whole lot easier to deal with.

His arms fell to his side as he pressed his hands into the cot and leaned back slightly, opening up his bare chest. It never really dawned on him to think about the fact that she was woman, having been surrounded by men for so long. That and the tent was comfortably warm as it was, feeling good against his skin.

“I think I’ll make it through,” he admitted somewhat gruffly, shifting with a wince and a slight groan. The leg was going to hurt for a good time coming. But at least he still had it. “And no need to act right now. Tendral and Lebuin are already aware of the situation. You have them both to thank that no one else does.” Aladar released a breath and finally sunk back to stare at the top of the tent, his muscles complaining some and resting seemed like a much better idea for the moment.

The Captain nodded at Lebuin to which the medic dipped his head and left, leaving only the three of them left. “What am I supposed to do with you Alyana?” he groaned out, and arm falling over his eyes to shield from some of the light in the tent that had started to bug the brown orbs. “I should send you right back from where you came from here and now. You better start explaining yourself and why I find myself having to figure out what to do with you.”

His head turned to look at the soldier who had returned to sitting next to him like a watch dog. He broke from his train of thoughts to address his friend to finally respond to what the man had mentioned before, “Bring me Naomi’s letter later. I’ll be stuck here for a bit longer but first I have to figure out.... this.” He motioned towards the woman in the opposite cot.

Aladar’s attention turned back to her and he let out a huff, “And then what am I supposed to do about the fact that you disobeyed me, not once, but twice!” He knew she had saved his life by doing it, but that was NOT the point. His hand shifted to run through his hair and wanted to sit up again but honestly didn’t feel the energy at the moment and decided that for the moment his current position on his back would have to do.

And it didn’t help that he was now resisting the urge to ask her if she was okay and to have her come over so he could inspect her for himself to make sure she was alright. He was in the middle of scolding her... he could not just cave now. He would have to accept that Lebuin had done his job. Still... “Tendral, help me sit up,” he grumbled, the soldier immediately getting to his feet to offer a supporting arm to his superior as the Captain was sitting up again, wincing but managing to make no noise. He would accept looking her over from afar... though his eyes gave away the slight worry he carried for her.

For a moment after she spoke, the tent was silent, save for the soft creaking noise of Alyana's cot underneath her as she shifted her weight slightly. She pulled some of the blankets over her head, admittedly still feeling a bit cold and shaky but much better than before. It had only been a few hours, she wasn't going to be back to normal so quickly. A faint wince showed briefly on her face as she moved stiff muscles to pull the blanket around her more, her tired eyes shifting slowly between Aladar, Tendral, and Lebuin... yet they always came back to rest on the captain, eventually moving down to rest on his bandaged and splinted leg. Her head tilted ever so slightly to the side as she studied the bandages, knowing how much pain he'd been in earlier and hoping that it was at least slightly more bearable for him now.

Part of her had hoped, in vain, that perhaps he had forgotten. She hoped that maybe, somehow he had been too cold already, and the memory of her discovery the previous night had just... not stuck with him... But she knew, as soon as he lifted his head from his hands and met her gaze, that he remembered. Oh, he remembered all of it, every word she'd said, everything. She saw it in his eyes, so much contained in that gaze. Pain, worry, a touch of anger and frustration, all rolled into one. She had to look away, her teeth clenched as shame washed over her and she pulled the blankets tighter around her, in fear that the others could see right through her. Her body language was a sharp contrast to that of the captain, who sat up straighter and let the various blankets and towels fall to his lap or the cot below, his bare chest exposed. She tried not to look, though she'd never admit that it took more effort than it should have.

She gave a hesitant smile, though she did not look up to meet his eyes again, when he said somewhat sarcastically that he thought he'd live. "That's good, sir," she said quietly, respectfully, with a nod. "I'm glad." Then he spoke again, talking about the things he knew, and thinly veiled panic immediately shone in her eyes, as her gaze darted to the other two men in the room. The ones who, she thought, did not know. Of course, if she considered the circumstances for long enough, she would have guessed that they knew. Lebuin was a medic, he had to have known in order to treat her. Though she suspected he knew earlier, she had vague memories of the strange look in his eye when he looked at her arm... It felt like so long ago now, the day of the fateful battle that had ended in a crippling defeat. And now the Rithnarians were bold enough to venture past their borders in groups of as small as four?

And Tendral... Tendral would have known. He knew almost everything that Aladar did, and she remembered that he had been among the search party that found them. He was probably the one that had made sure to wrap her in blankets to ensure her secret wouldn't be discovered on the way back here.

So once she had a moment to wrap her mind around it, the panic in her eyes slowly faded, though it didn't vanish. They were still talking about something she had hoped to keep hidden for a very long time... Forever, she'd hoped. She'd hoped to just stay here, ignored and hidden, until her eventual, inevitable death on the battlefield. That was the life she'd resigned herself to, and she told herself that she was content with it! But now that life was slipping away from her, and the look in her captain's eyes told her that he wanted to send her home. She'd rather die.

Already, even before he gave her the chance to explain herself, her mind was reeling, buzzing with different excuses she could use. She couldn't find the words to say to make it all better, and her thoughts were sent into panic mode when he demanded that she explain herself. Before she could formulate a half-decent response, Aladar turned to Tendral and said something about a letter from Naomi. Naomi... That was a woman's name. For a split-second, her panic disippated, and her expression shifted ever-so-briefly to something resembling a mixture of disappointment and defeat. She immediately pushed her thoughts aside, however, returning to her panic.

It was a full minute of silence before she dared to speak, having organized her frantic thoughts into something she hoped was legible.

"I told you why I'm here... Sir," she said hesitantly, avoiding his intense gaze as he sat up with Tendral's help to look at her again. "That... hasn't changed. There is no place for me, other than here. I have nowhere to return to."

Well, didn't that put forth the image of a strong soldier? She mentally berated herself for seeming so worthless, practically down on her hands and knees begging him to let her stay.

His next frustrated question was a distraction at least, and a response she was actually prepared for, having been thinking about how she'd justify her disobedience since the moment she... well, disobeyed him. She let out a slightly shaky sigh, trying to somewhat pull herself together and not think about how desperately she needed a drink right now.

"With all due respect, sir, you wouldn't be alive now if I had followed your orders either time. They would have killed you before I made it out of sight, and you can bet that they wouldn't have let me make it back to the camp either. It wouldn't have done either of us any good... And I know that it's the whole point for me to follow orders, however strange they may seem, but leaving someone in danger isn't something I can do..." Her pale blue eyes flashed briefly, the fire in her soul begging to escape.

"And I couldn't let you freeze, either. It was getting dark, I didn't know if I'd be able to find you again. And it wouldn't matter, because you'd have frozen to death before I even made it here! I probably would have frozen to death before I made it here..." Then, noticing probably too late that she was getting a bit too carried away while talking to her superior officer who she wanted to like her, she finished with a meek, "Sir."

Ohh, you've messed up now... Might as well start packing your bags, you'll be headed home before sunset today.

She gritted her teeth, looking away slightly as the near-fury in her eyes slowly faded to something more controlled. As she turned her head, a small but deep gash could be seen on the side of her cheek, a lucky strike from one of the Rithnarians that she hadn't noticed due to the cold. She noticed it now; the wound had been cleaned, and the warm air caused the cut to sting harshly. Though it wasn't serious by any means, it would likely scar, marring her near-perfect face. Not that she cared; if she was going to be sent home, nothing mattered any more, much less a tiny scar on her face.