My oldest friend of 15 years has been frustrating and confusing me lately, and I feel stuck. For the past little while, she has begun attacking me for little things and in a sense has begun putting words in my mouth.

Let me give you an example.

A little over a week ago, we were conversing, and I mentioned that I had posted on an account my university owned, and that my other friend had commented something that made me appear bisexual or gay. I'm not, but I didn't truly care, so I told this friend of mine about it (she's a large representation of the LGBTQ+ community), and how some people may think that I am now bi/gay, and she proceeded to put words in my mouth. "Why are you afraid of being gay. What's wrong with it? Why do you have a problem with people thinking you are? You think it's offensive, don't you." I don't. I never said I did. I simply told her that people may view me as being gay/bi when I'm not. I just thought and that it may be confusing to anybody that read it. If somebody believes me to be, that's alright, I'll simply clear it up. No big deal. But she kept prying and almost acting as if I'm homophobic, which is something that hurt me deeply. I have supported her and so many others and have been proud when they came out. I always make sure that if I don't know something, I ask. It just hurts when I get attacked like that because I'm her main supporter.

She seems to act as if she's superior to me in many ways as well, one being that she tends to explain things to me that I already know, as if I'm a child. It's just the little things and comments like that that annoy me. I can't even say anything, because she'll dissociate or defend herself to the point where I can't figure out what to say next. I also have reason to believe that she fakes some of her mental illnesses. She claims that she has ADHD, is bipolar, dyslexic, etc and when I ask how she knew, she said that she "has similar symptoms" and took a quiz. I don't even bring that up to her because no matter what I say, she always manages to win.

I also can't end the friendship. I'm one of her only friends, and I'm afraid if I leave, she'll do something. So, I can't speak or leave. I don't know how to reach her and actually be heard without her arguing with and silencing me. I don't want to end it, I just want to be heard.

I am no expert here and this is a lot ;-; ummm, what I know is that sometimes people aren't aware of how they affect others, but judging by what you wrote how you inform her when you disagree with her and tell her she is hurting you. Big problem is that she seems to think she is the smartest person ever :/ some people like that who always think they are in right are like that their whooooole life-there is sadly no reasoning with such, especially if they think they have to do what they decided to do even after they know they are hurting somebody close to them in a process-they are ready to hurt to prove they are right, they are stubborn and closed off to new ideas-okay, that was description of pretty severe case, your friend maybe isn't as bad.

Is this recent development or something new? All of this about her you wrote. Cause if all of it is recent, like personality switch, you can look into anything recent that doesn't seem normal and might have caused change in behaviour-maybe something is eating her inside, she worries about something or she decided to change as a reaction to something that had had happened.

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All of the above is not really much of a advice, so here is an an advice-

Gently encourage her to go to a therapist for her mental illnesses. Cause only therapist can determine if they are real or not-thou I heard there are bad therapists too ;-; more common in America than other countires. So doing proper research for somebody many would recommend would be good. Otherwise you might send her to therapist who on purpose says "yes you are sick. Take these pills and come back once a month for a rest of your life" that is profitable, but only makes things worse.

And word "mental illness" is becoming problematic since people use it in slangs or vibe checks or moods or they think mentally ill means person has to go to mad house asap. Term itself is new to the open public, 100 years ago almost noone knew that mental health exists, now words are spreading among humans, problem is that message gets twisted and there are misinformation and lies and so :(

It seems like your relationship is strained and relationships are two way roads which means you can't keep taking all the hits and keep changing to fit her better-she has to mold to you as well.

Have you told her that she is going so far that your friendship is at stake? If she is aware and doesn't care then I don't think you should stay friends with her :/ cause it shows she has zero interest in your well-being and opinions, that is no way to treat a friend, stranger maybe, but friend definitely no.

About what you said here:

"I also can't end the friendship. I'm one of her only friends, and I'm afraid if I leave, she'll do something. So, I can't speak or leave. I don't know how to reach her and actually be heard without her arguing with and silencing me. I don't want to end it, I just want to be heard."

It may seem cruel to leave, but feeding her wrongness is worse. You are not asking for miracle, just some empathy and for her to be considerate of you.

This part where you are afraid she might do soemthing I am not sure if that somehting would be bad for you or her (like suicide) so it is good to be more careful when considering cutting her off. Uh, so, even if it is not a therapist another fresh face could help-if you can't reason with her is there anybody that can? If yes you could try that.

It seems like quite impossible situation like this ;-; cause you really can't walk out easily and staying is not the best option either.

I don't think my input helps here, but I'll leave it as it is ;-; I hope you'll be able to get better advice from someone more experienced