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Lightbringer
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(Got premission from SixBears!)
WARNINGS: 1.) This is a Short Story, only has two parts, but there's a poll for it to have a FULL STORY on the last page after you've read through it! 2.) VIOLENCE 3.) One of the brothers die........ 4.) Car Fire 5.) Very likely to make you cry and if it doesn't, are you okay? >.> SLITHERN BROTHERS: The Slithern Series Is Deleted BUT FEAR NOT, I might remake them.
CREDITING Author: Ren Sire/Severin Ideas By: Ren Sire (WP: Siren @325368, HEE: ) Editor: Vax ~@324925 |
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Darkseeker
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It's lovely, and it's a good start! |
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Lightbringer
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Shadowcreeper said:
It's lovely, and it's a good start!
Thanks! |
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Darkseeker
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Lightbringer
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Empress Midnight said:
Hmm...very interesting
lol, I try my best to make things that way |
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Neutral
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Hi! I am actually an English Literature student (third year!) focusing on creative writing, so I think I can give you a few tips! The story is quite interesting so far. I think it would be helpful to establish some world-building, especially at the start when Asher is running through the woods, describe what the character is seeing, smelling, and physically feeling. This will really help the reader feel immersed. You can also world-build by establishing where the setting is set, such as the country (whether it's real or made-up), the connections between different supernatural beings (for example, do vampires and shapeshifters hate one another for being different, etc.). I would also suggest to not use pictures of what your characters look like, it's much more involving and immersive to describe your characters when writing. And my last suggestion would be to try not to focus too much on what will happen in future books. It is good to have a 'map' of what you want to happen and how to piece them together, but try focusing on your first story and how you want it to come together and feel complete. I look forward to reading future chapters and seeing how this story unfolds, and I hope some of my tips will be helpful! |
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Lightbringer
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LemonSnoodle said:
Hi! I am actually an English Literature student (third year!) focusing on creative writing, so I think I can give you a few tips! The story is quite interesting so far. I think it would be helpful to establish some world-building, especially at the start when Asher is running through the woods, describe what the character is seeing, smelling, and physically feeling. This will really help the reader feel immersed. You can also world-build by establishing where the setting is set, such as the country (whether it's real or made-up), the connections between different supernatural beings (for example, do vampires and shapeshifters hate one another for being different, etc.). I would also suggest to not use pictures of what your characters look like, it's much more involving and immersive to describe your characters when writing. And my last suggestion would be to try not to focus too much on what will happen in future books. It is good to have a 'map' of what you want to happen and how to piece them together, but try focusing on your first story and how you want it to come together and feel complete. I look forward to reading future chapters and seeing how this story unfolds, and I hope some of my tips will be helpful!
Thanks for the tips! |
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Neutral
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Lightbringer
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Third Chapter is out now! I'm going to start on the forth and try to start making the chapters longer :) |
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Lightbringer
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I was reading in a old witches voice and i got interested instantly xD |
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Summer Month: 1 
Night 
Clear Moon: 
