An extra huff of disdain escaped her, knowing he was right but hating the fact. "Again..." A grunt as he blocked another of her blows. "No one told you to come out here with me."

Training, feeling a sword in her hand and at least trying to pretend that things were normal again, was more therapeutic for her at this point than anything else. Running laps around the camp didn't bring her the same satisfaction as fighting invisible enemies, picturing them as the thoughts that threatened to drown her, the feelings of inadequacy, the memories she couldn't force herself to let go of as much as they hurt even now...

"No," she responded curtly, to his asking her if she'd like to tell him why she was out here. No. No, she wouldn't like to tell him. He didn't need to know that Aladar's words echoed in her head as she trained, her attempts to return to the condition she'd been in before her injuries that had become almost desperate, obsessive... He didn't need to know that the only thing she'd been able to think about since Aladar's speech earlier had been what would happen if the battle went wrong, as every single battle in the past six months had... Her presence on the battlefield wouldn't change a damn thing, and she knew it, but it was a new kind of helplessness to know that whatever happened was going to happen and she wouldn't even be there to witness it.

She remembered all too clearly the pain and fear she'd felt. To see her own demise looming over her with no hope of rescue, the light in the world around her fading to black... She remembered how very alone she was, in those few moments that seemed to last lifetimes before Aladar came... She didn't want to go back into battle. The memories were too fresh, too raw, the trauma still healing just as her wounds were. But every time she thought about the approaching battle, which was far too often, all she could think of was Aladar, alone, facing the same terrifying darkness she had.

If Aladar hadn't been there for her, she was convinced that she would have died there. But who would be there for Aladar, if the unthinkable happened and she was stuck here like the worthless creature she was?

Enough, Ali.

She slowed to a stop, gritting her teeth in frustration as she glanced briefly up at the taller man's face, watching as he sat down before laying on his back on the ground. Begrudgingly sheathing her sword, she followed his example, silently sitting cross-legged near him (on his left) with her eyes glued to the ground in front of her.

"I don't want to talk," she huffed, just as he said that she was in "one of those moods."

Sighing, she leaned her head back, eyes moving to the stars overhead as if seeking answers to her inner turmoil among them. All the while appearing to be tuning Tendral out, when in reality she was absorbing every word... And when Aladar's name was mentioned, the woman crumbled, burying her head in her hands for a moment with a shuddering sigh before running her fingers through her hair in an attempt to ground herself, to ignore the flashes of terrible things that her mind constructed from her own experience and her fear for Aladar.

"I'm not going... You know that, right?" A sidelong glance in her friend's direction, her shoulders slumped in defeat. "I'm staying here... And I know I can't go, I know the reasons why and I don't need you trying to convince me why he's right."

Falling silent for a moment, she closed her eyes again, shaking her head as words seemed to fail, she couldn't figure out how to say what she needed so desperately to tell someone.

"But you're going... He's going... On foot, he said... You know as well as I do that not everyone's going to come back... And what if one of those is you, or him? I can't do a thing to stop it if it's going to happen, I know that, but I could at least be there..."

Silence fell again, as she shrugged and offered a shaky smile, her eyes dark as she looked upwards again.

"But I won't be," she mumbled. "I'll be here, because it's been three damn months... I still can't even hold a sword properly and I can't get through a single sparring match." Her frustration bled through into her tone as she sighed softly.

"It doesn't matter," she finished. "I'll be here regardless of what I say. So it doesn't matter."

His mention of Aladar had brought with it the desired results, Tendral watching her crumble underneath the weight of his name. Aladar held much weight in the camp, but at this point it was well known that there was something special and different between the Captain and woman of the camp. And Tendral often had the front seat to that, seeing better than anyone the bond that was forming between the two in a way he could never, and would never, want to rival. But it also meant their actions weighed all heavier on the other.

The man's head turned to gaze at her in the darkness as she spoke, watching the defeat and frustration. “I’m not here to rub it in.” It was a simple statement, said in between her words to reassure her he had no intention of just taking sides, though he had every intention of getting to speak. Because he was privy to information no one else was, and he was determined to offer what solace and relief he could to her.

He felt her frustration and pain. He was seeing a reflection of himself and yet something far deeper.

He sat up, shifting closer to her as her words came to an end. An instinctive brotherly arm wrapped around her shoulder as he pulled her close to him, using what he had in height to offer some form of protective barrier as if he could hide her from her demons. There was a sorrow in his eyes as he sat there, for a few moments wordless as he offered her support. The things that haunted her were valid. Very much so.

“No, not everyone is coming back, you’re right. But every one of those soldiers in camp will protect him with their lives, Ali. He is well-loved and will not lack in protection. He may be going in on foot to use his shields, but I promise you and swear on my life, we will be protecting him just as much as he is protecting us.” He gave her a light squeeze as green eyes pierced up into the sky to stare at the stars. Aladar spoke of a God who had made them, swore his life to his faith…

The thought was discarded as his focus returned to the issue at hand. “And if something did happen to him, believe me when I say you wont want to be there. You’ve seen men die on the battlefield. It’s much worse when its someone you care about and there isnt a damn thing you can do. It’s better to find out later, believe me. But I don’t think that will be even remotely the case. We may lose men, but we are staying at the back of the lines.” He was trying to add another small reassurance in the mix at the end.

“As for your recovery…” He trailed, that a trickier subject to address. “You shouldn’t be here Ali. I don’t mean physically in this camp. I mean alive. You were as good as dead by the time you arrived at camp. I carried you here. I watched you die slowly in my arms. No one has EVER survived what you did. No one. I don’t give a damn if it takes twenty years to be able to confidently wield a sword again because you’re alive and that’s what matters. Aladar talks of miracles, I’ll be damned if I ever believed him. But even I admit what happened to you was a miracle. And I’m thinking you can’t rush those.”

All his talking had brought him to the final thing he wanted to address, having saved it for last on purpose. “I know you know why Aladar made the choice to leave you here, but I’m not sure you know why.” He shifted away some to be able to see her face and look her in the eyes. “I’ve been here since I was eighteen, and in those six years I’ve spent with Aladar, I have never seen him look at anyone the way he looks at you. He’s never even offered a glance at the women in the town’s we passed. I don’t think he’s ever loved like he loves you. You see, Aladar lives for two things. He lives for his God and he lives for his country. Its always been that way.”

He allowed a small pause of silence to ensue as he looked back into the vast stars of space. “In those two things he lives for, he finds a duty and heart to care for his soldiers like his own brothers. He’s cared for many and lost many. He carries with him more heartbreak than any person should ever bear. And then you come along and he sets his heart on you. But you line up in neither his category of his God or his country. See, Ali… you’re a new part of his equation and he just doesn’t know how to add you. So he mixes up his priorities and you get caught in the crossfire of his confusion. But he does know and stand by one thing. He doesn’t want you out of the equation. Just remember that when you get frustrated with him. He’s a man of experience and he relies on that. He has no experience to rely on when it comes to you and he doesn’t know how to balance you into his world yet.”

As she finished speaking, she shifted slightly, changing positions to pull her knees silently to her chest. Defensive... Her arms wrapped loosely around her legs as she let out a soft sigh, gaze moving straight ahead as she heard Tendral shifting to sit closer to her, his arm wrapped around her shoulders almost protectively as both were silent for several long moments. And in those moments, her thoughts seemed to take a turn for an even darker state, her chin resting on her folded arms.

But Tendral spoke before she could wander too far down that path, and she shifted slightly to watch his expression out of the corner of her eye as she listened to his reassurances. And as she listened, she tried to convince herself that they were true. She knew the company would protect Aladar with their lives... She knew. Somehow, though, the thought just wasn't as reassuring as it should have been, when followed by Tendral adding that if something did happen, she wouldn't want to be there.

Her gaze flicked away then, her chin resting on her knees again, because that was where he was wrong... It might be the worst thing she ever witnessed, if she was there when the unthinkable happened. But she couldn't stop thinking of how it had felt, on the battlefield and on the way back... The panic and loneliness closing in. The desperation... The pain. And even the mere thought of him facing that, alone, was enough...

But it wasn't something that Tendral would understand. It wasn't something that anyone would ever understand besides herself, she was sure, so she just gave a silent, feeble nod, accepting his reassurances and trying to lay her unfounded fears to rest. He'd been in this army for ten years, a captain for at least four, and he hadn't gotten himself killed yet. She wasn't even sure why the possibility bothered her so much now... He would be fine. He could handle himself... And, like Tendral said, the company would be there to protect him with their lives, each and every soldier more than prepared to risk it all for their kingdom and their captain. Even if her worst fear happened... He wouldn't be alone, she was sure.

"Yeah," she said softly, with a tiny nod. "You're right..." She still didn't seem entirely convinced, but it was an improvement from the near-breakdown that had been narrowly avoided.

His focus shifted to her frustration over her delayed recovery, and her brow furrowed slightly as she looked up at him again, head tilted as she silently absorbed the new information. Which, it was new. To her, it was. Aladar had never told her just how close she'd come. Either he'd forgotten, or intentionally kept the information from her; neither of which she could blame him for. The medics, too, seemed to have some sort of silent pact to not tell her just how close her brush with death had been. And part of the deep loathing for the weakness she still felt, came from the viewpoint of someone who wasn't fully aware that her recovery process started with her being pulled back from death itself.

But to be honest, it wasn't something she hadn't expected, and a sigh escaped her, her knees pulled tighter to her chest again at Tendral's final statement. "I'm thinking you can't rush those."

He was right. Damn it, how was he right about that? How was he right about everything? She looked up at him again, the faintest hint of a smile beginning to appear on her face as some of the imaginary accusations in her mind seemed to be laid to rest. She pushed herself so hard because she felt the eyes of the company, of Aladar, on her. She felt inadequate and worthless, as the only severely wounded soldier from the last battle that had not been sent home, and therefore the only one fighting to get back on her feet and catch up with the others. There was no one to compare herself to, and she was the only one lagging behind, so of course she felt like it wasn't enough, like she wasn't enough. But if Tendral's words really did reflect the thoughts of the company... Then maybe it was okay that it took a bit more time.

But he was talking about Aladar again now, looking her in the eyes as he spoke. She listened, as Tendral tried to explain the real reasoning behind Aladar's decision. And, though she still hated to admit it because she wanted to be frustrated still, she felt the slightest hint of guilt tugging at her, for her selfish reaction now as well as earlier when she was talking to Aladar. When he fell silent again, she looked away, shifting away with a tiny smile.

"I'll... Remember that," she said softly. "Thanks." For coming, for talking to her, for trying to give her some sort of insight into why these things had happened... For everything, really. A moment passed in silence, before she spoke again.

"I'm sure you're exhausted... And you've got a long day tomorrow, like you said..." She sighed quietly, feeling rather fatigued herself from even such a short training session as the one she had attempted earlier. "Probably best to head off, huh?" She started to stand. "Promise I won't kill myself training... I'm going to bed, too." As she offered a smile to lighten the mood a bit.

Tendral smiled at her. He was no Aladar when it came to words, but he cared and knew that Ali needed someone other than the man she loved to talk to her and help. “You’re welcome. But if you tell anyone about this, I will deny it.” He cleared his throat as if nothing had happened and there had been no heart to heart, straightening up and getting to his feet.

“And you are right. I am tired and I am sick of the main tent. Gods, soldiers are the worst kind of people.” He was back to his huffy, irritable, complaining self in an instant. “So let’s go since I don’t want to have to come chasing after you again. I’ll walk you to your tent before I go invade Aladar’s space. I’m in the right mind to kick him off his cot and have him take my sleeping bag.”

He grumbled the rest of his walk, narrowing his eyes as they passed the Captain’s tent, his sleeping bag having been tossed back outside.

~

One week Later

The company was to start out that morning, soldiers throwing a simple sleeping bag over their shoulders and wearing their armor. They would be taking nothing else with them except a couple of the normal medics and two carts. The carts were the one thing every soldier ignored because they came for one reason: to carry the wounded home. Orym and Lebuin were to be left, the two of them too high profile and necessary to be brought along. If the company was ambushed and the medics killed or injured, the whole camp would be up the creek.

Overall, it would be expected to be a very solemn moment filled with dread, but somehow Aladar kept the morale up, passing through the platoons and throwing out words of encouragement and mini speeches. The new recruits were vibrating with excitement and the older ones were preparing themselves. The walk to the meeting point was going to take longer than it should simply to make sure the men were well-rested, though that was taken into consideration and why they were leaving an entire day early.

The lines were forming perfectly and everything was in the best kind of ordered chaos possible, men jogging back and forth to make sure they were prepared and they had their weapons. Bandages and such were added to one of the carts and Aladar was in the center of everything being done, moving back and forth shouting out orders along with his encouragements. The sun was barely coming up over the horizon and everything was close to being set enough to leave.

Content that everything was now being done properly, he made his way back to his tent to grab his own armor and do the one thing he always did before he left. Pray.

Throwing the flap of his tent open, he ducked inside, quickly kneeling to pray before anything else was done. He had done so when he had woken up, and he was doing so again. This would be the last time he could have the privacy to do it and kneel, to pour his heart out to God and ask for wisdom and strength for the battle ahead. His men needed protection and they needed some hope. And Ali... his heart ached when he thought of her and laid her before God in his prayer. That she be kept safe and at peace while they were gone.

When he was done, he rose to his feet quietly, collecting his armor and sliding it on before he stopped in front of his bible. His fingers brushed against it as he stood there staring. He hadn’t told Ali he wouldn’t be wearing his armor into battle, nor would he. Which brought it to mind that he should find her...

Her week was spent mostly alone, as she'd expected it would be. But it made her stolen moments with Aladar all the more precious, when she finally seemed to accept the whole "You're not going" thing a couple of days after his announcement. She was trying to make the most of every second spent with him, with the lingering worry for the upcoming battle always on her mind.

The night before the company's planned departure, she hadn't slept well. Awake since well before dawn, she had sat in her tent, waiting for the first sounds of movement in the camp. Today... was the day. And she still wasn't sure if she was okay with it yet.

Well, that was a lie. She knew exactly how she felt about him leaving, about the company being called into battle again so soon after their attempted rest... But war wasn't fair, and she needed to stop being so selfish about it. He had to go... He had to risk his life in the service and protection of their kingdom. But that didn't mean she had to like it, not one bit. She'd battled nightmares... Vivid constructs of her mind to remind her of the worst case scenarios she conjured up. But Tendral's talk had helped to reassure her that they were just that, worst case scenarios that were unlikely to happen. Aladar had the company to protect him... Just as much as he was there to protect the company.

And it was with that thought that she decided not to think about it again, at least for now. With her tent growing too constricting for her tastes, and hearing the camp coming alive with preparations to move, she wrapped a cloak around her shoulders to ward off the spring morning chill before stepping out into the chaos. She'd missed the morning meal, what with her being antisocial and all, but that didn't matter at the moment... She wanted to find Aladar and wish him luck... Tell him she loved him.

Just in case.

Though she looked around the camp to see if she would find him directing the preparations, her wandering footsteps eventually brought her to his tent, where she paused for a moment with a sigh before entering, unannounced and without permission, as always. She offered a smile she didn't feel as she saw him, standing near the table at the corner of his tent with a thoughtful look on his face.

"Hey," she said quietly, standing awkwardly nearby, unsure if she should try to hug him or not... Because if she did, she wasn't sure she'd be able to let him go. "They're, uh, almost ready out there... It's almost time to go, isn't it?"

A sigh escaped her as she moved to face him, her worry visible in her eyes though she kept a smile for his sake. "If you don't come back, I'm going to kill you," she jokingly threatened him, with a soft laugh, before she came closer and wrapped her arms tightly around him in a hug.

"But seriously... Please be careful..." She closed her eyes for a moment, knowing he couldn't see her face as her smile faltered slightly. "I love you. And I need you in one piece."

A hand was brought through his hair, pushing it back and making sure it was set as he took a final moment to look himself over and make sure he was ready to set out and join his men to start the march. He took a second to think it all over, debating where he could find Ali to try and map out the quickest course to find her so he could leave as soon as possible. It wasn’t that he wanted to jip her or he didn’t want to say goodbye. But his mind was on the task at hand, though he was trying to share that headspace with her.

At her voice, he turned, smiling to see the very woman he was thinking about standing there for him. It was its own mini blessing, allowing them some privacy and him a fraction of time to focus solely on her. “Yes, it is,” he admitted to the fact that it was time for him to go, watching her come near as his gaze met hers. He could read the worry in her eyes, see how it tainted her face and he sent an extra prayer to heaven that she would be calmed and given hope that all would be well. Anything to keep her from distressing. It would be the first battle that she was left behind. And the first battle he had faced since falling in love and pursuing a relationship.

As arms wrapped around his torso, he followed suit to hold her, pulling her into his chest. He felt a million things for this woman, and right now he realized how much he would ache to not have her nearby and know himself that she was alright too. But at least she would not be in the fray, which was the entire point, and that brought him some comfort. Still, he could feel how tight she held to him, almost in a desperate way.

His hand rested on the back of her head as he gently pushed her head down to his shoulder. His own forehead bent to press to her shoulder as he held her. There was no question in his mind that he loved this woman and held her near and dear to his heart. And it was here that he realized how much he had been neglecting her during the week, and how much she had probably needed him, and not her Captain. It was eye-opening in this bubble of just them, an entire company outside waiting for their commands. But they could afford to wait a few more moments.

“God willing. I will be back in a few days' time in one piece,” he murmured, making sure he had bent his head to her good side. “We will see little of the battle and I am sure all will be well. The men are well-prepared and the formation is sound,” he reassured warmly, fondness in his voice as he took a deep breath, for the first time realizing how much he loved being able to know how she smelled. There were many realizations and he was determined to make things right for them when he returned.

“Besides,” he leaned back, though kept one arm holding her firmly as he lifted her chin so their eyes could meet, “I have my girl to return to and I am sure I will have quite the story to tell. That and there are some things I want to talk to you about. I know I’ve left you alone this week and I’ve done a miserable job at being the anchor for you I am supposed to be. I have put you to the side and I am determined not to do that again. I have been reading some passages of my bible that I would like to read to you when I return about how I should be to you. So you can keep me in line.”

He was smiling now, his thumb running over her cheek. “So I have to come back. Don’t you worry about me, alright? I’ve made it ten years, your old man won’t be going down from the back lines.”

Her eyes closed tightly as he held her, her head resting on his shoulder as she let out a slightly shuddering sigh. It felt wrong, it all felt so wrong... He'd come back. He seemed so certain, and yet there was that solemn tone to his voice that she didn't like. She knew he would be fine, she trusted that he would...

"Well... They'll just have to wait a few minutes," she said softly, her voice a low murmur as she took the time to just be near him, to feel his arms around her and to melt in his hold. She already missed him... He'd been more or less absent for the past week already, but it was different now to know that he'd be so far away, and in danger. It would be a different kind of loneliness. But... Like he said, and she gave a little nod to, it was just a few days. She knew they were supposed to walk for a day, fight, then walk back; she'd heard from the soldiers she spoke with during the few meals she ventured out with the others. So it should be three days they were gone... Maybe four. Four days, max, and he'd be back again and she could relax. In the meantime, she was certain to be a nervous wreck, probably self-medicating with the alcohol she hid... Though she didn't plan on telling anyone that.

"You'd better be back," she said softly, offering a smile and a soft, forced laugh before shamelessly burying her face in his shirt, suddenly far more emotional than she'd planned to be for this goodbye. It wasn't even a goodbye; at least, not in her view. It wouldn't be a goodbye. Goodbyes felt far too permanent.

As he pulled back, she met his gaze as her arms slipped away from around his waist, her worry softening and beginning to melt as his fingers brushed her chin. "I can't wait to hear all about it, every detail," she said, trailing off to let him finish speaking. She couldn't wait... Because even if the things he told her were things she didn't particularly want to hear, she would be hearing them from him, which meant he was home safe... Or, as home and safe as one could be in an army camp.

He mentioned his bible, and pale blue eyes broke away from his deep brown to rest briefly on the precious leatherbound book still resting on his table. She almost wanted to ask him to leave it so she could read it while he was gone... But he would probably want to bring it with him. He always seemed to be encouraged by what he read, and he needed an encouraging and strengthening word before this battle more than she needed to fulfill her curiosity and satisfy her boredom while the camp was empty.

"I can't wait to hear them," she said with a smile, a genuine one now as she met his gaze once more.

But as she fell silent again, she could hear the orders being shouted by the officers outside, and her shoulders slumped slightly. It was time... She couldn't stall him any longer, and he couldn't wait any longer... She leaned closer to him, her lips barely brushing his for just a moment in a tender goodbye kiss.

Sighing softly as she pulled back, she took a moment to run her fingers through his hair, fixing where she had messed part of it up. "Love you..." she said. "Be careful out there."

The orders being shouted outside finally broke their perfect bubble, brown eyes watching as her shoulders slumped, clear evidence that she did not feel quite ready. Though he did know from experience, one could never be ready to say any kind of goodbye, even the temporary ones...

His thoughts were interrupted as warm lips brushed against his, his eyes closed at the pleasant sensations, though it only lasted a moment, followed by her fixing his hair by running her fingers through the brown strands. And he fell for her for the millionth time, his gaze searching her face as he felt a terrible loss just by leaving her. He cherished the touch, the kiss... the second one they had ever shared but so melancholy in nature.

His calloused palm moved across her cheek as he offered her a bittersweet smile. “I love you too... and you know I will.” Aladar started to lean in, ready to offer her a kiss of his own but a loud shout caused his head to snap in that direction. His intended kiss turned into a gentle squeeze of her shoulder as his smile lifted into a warmer one. “And you stay safe too. Don’t irritate Orym or Lebuin too much and don’t overwork yourself.”

And that was it, the man turning and leaving her to stand alone in his tent as he finally joined his men, calling out the orders to move out and begin their trip to the battlefield to meet the other companies. And their first day began, the march at a steady pace, though not one that would wear the men out. Breaks were taken every hour for water and to sit for at least ten minutes, socialization allowed. The journey there was meant to be this way, dedicated to keeping his men comfortable and relaxed, doing everything in his power not to wear them out. And it worked well as they pushed forward this way, arriving at the meeting point not long after midnight. There they would sleep until later morning, the battle set for that afternoon.

The morning of the battle, sleeping bags were quickly rolled up and left by the wagons, the medics already standing by as the hours drew near. A simple breakfast was served, something easy on the stomach as the morale sat at a middle, apprehension and excitement mixing in the air. Aladar did not give up in his encouragement and he managed to lift back up to what he felt was a safe enough level to offer a better chance at success, the man moving around and offering support, his armor discarded in the wagons.

And then the ranks were formed, everything shifting from a lethargic anticipating pace to one of chaotic speed that was hard to recall what was done when. But in mere moments, every man was to his feet moving into the formation practiced and planned as Aladar found his place in the middle, the march to the battleground beginning. The morale was where it was at now, no going back as the world began to whizz by. The instant they stepped foot onto the field, taking their place as backup, it all spun out of control and every focus was on every single second, meticulous and chaotic, and yet flying past so fast to look back, it would be near impossible to say what went on.

The fight pushed through the starting troops and quickly made its way to Aladar’s company, the other companies falling back to try and reassemble themselves before they would push forward and Aladar would call his men back to regroup and wait to offer relief again. It was back and forth, though his men were faring better than the other companies, though he could not help the casualties and the injuries that did come. But the man was working every moment, sending two platoons to the front at a time, protecting them with a forceshield, which he had learned to make optionally permeable, his men’s swords breaking through while the enemy could not get into the bubble.

But there were others in his company fighting as well, and he could only do so much as he was still very early in his training, and more than once, he lost the shield and had to bring it back as quickly as possible. It was a struggle, and by the end of the day, Haverndin sat with a stalemate. They hadn’t lost any territory, but they hadn’t won any back either, leaving them at the brink of night with a field of soldiers to attend to. Aladar only lost a few men, though he had plenty that were injured and needed to be brought back to be attended to.

His forceshields had been used for more than six hours nonstop and he could feel the exhaustion in every muscle and bone, his joints in severe pain though he could not understand why. Nor did he take the time to contemplate, overseeing his men collecting themselves, the few bodies left on a separate wagon while those injured enough went on the other. Most were well enough to walk, but he put them on the wagons anyway to save their energy for the return home.

It was risky to stay the night nearby and his men needed the skills of Orym and Lebuin, though the medics he brought with them were able to do simple stitching and clean-up jobs, enough to get everyone home on what would be a grueling march back. And it was for Aladar, though he was determined to lead his men home, the Captain covered in blood from it all, despite having done little fighting himself. He looked a mess, and he felt it. But his men came first, ever and always and for them, he did not falter, his limp more pronounced though he did not notice, his focus so set on getting everyone home.

Their pace was slow and long and by the time they dragged into camp, it was early morning of the fourth day, barely early enough to even call it morning. But they were home, Aladar directing the injured be taken to the medic tent and for Lebuin and Orym to be called for them all. The rest could return to their tent, Aladar keeping watch until Tendral came to his side, the Captain having nearly lost his balance.

“Call it a night. You’re exhausted and not looking well. Everything is taken care of...” It was the concerned side of Tendral, seeing the strong man he knew well on the brink of collapse.

Aladar started to protest before realizing Tendral was right, the man nodding. “You rest too...” His voice was rough and scratchy, clearly hoarse and indicating pain. When his friend agreed he would too, he started for his own tent, steps slow and lethargic as every step felt harder to take. But he made it there, ducking inside slowly as he started for his bed. It was as he sank to a sitting position, struggling to kick off his boots that he noticed the woman there.

Ali... he was ashamed at that moment that he had not thought much of her during it all. And yet relieved that she was here anyway. He was unable to register much though, just that she was there as his hand braced beside him to keep him upright and steady.

“Ali.” Her name came off his lips rocky and almost painful, his voice faltering on him.

The first day wasn't all that bad... Sure, it was strange to spend the day in a mostly empty camp. It was quiet and weird and she didn't like it. But there were a few others that had stayed; namely Lebuin and Orym... A couple others, but she didn't talk to them. And much to the old healer's apparent disdain, he seemed to be the woman's chosen victim for the day. She was under his feet for most of the day, bothering him with questions and attempts at conversation, but it wasn't long before he put her to work, having her sort fresh herbs for him. It gave her something to do, even if it was an incredibly dull and repetitive thing and even if she had to keep asking him which herbs were which because plants really weren't her thing. Much of her day was passed that way, with Orym looking over her shoulder every few minutes and huffing softly with disdain every time she put an herb in the wrong pile.

Later in the afternoon, she had made her escape, instinctively starting to head for Aladar's tent before she stopped herself... And the rest of her day was spent in her tent, in a rather sullen mood.

The night was uneventful, save for the nightmares, but those weren't unexpected. They weren't as bad as they could have been, though, most of her anxiety laid to rest at the moment by Aladar's reassurances.

---

The next day, though, was an entirely different matter. She knew they were fighting... She knew they were in battle. Aladar, Tendral, the company, all of them could be fighting for their lives at any moment, and the thought that she wouldn't even know what was happening was scary. She couldn't stomach breakfast that morning, trying to sleep to pass the time, but of course that plan was flawed from the start, so she turned to training, taking out her frustrations on invisible things... Which helped a bit, but not enough. By about noon, she'd given up on trying to distract herself on her own, and wandered to the medical tent to talk to Lebuin or whoever she found first that wasn't Orym. Her fingers were still stained from the herbs the previous day.

Orym happened to be the one she found first. Unfortunately. But he was mixing salves this time, which luckily wasn't something he could make her help with. Instead, the grumpy healer seemed willing to actually talk to her for once. Ali found out more about him that day than she'd ever expected to find out, and she was surprised by some of it. The stories he told as he worked, of fleeing Rithnar, of his early years in the Haverndin army... For a brief time, they successfully kept her mind off of the battle raging.

As soon as she was alone again, the anxiety returned full-force. The battle was over... At least, it should be by now. What had happened during the day? He could be hurt, he could be... Or he could be just fine, he was probably fine... She didn't cope well that night, and after two days of being strong about it, turned again to her familiar comfort.

---

The next day was worse. Not only was she fighting a hangover, but she was waiting for messengers, for runners... Anything to tell her what had happened. And she wasn't the only one; she caught the medics glancing in the direction of the battle often, every noise catching the attention of those who'd been left behind to prepare... And in Ali's case, merely left behind in general.

But no runner came, no messenger on horseback bearing news of battle. It could be reasoned, by the lack of news, that all had gone according to plans, but Ali wasn't in a very reasonable mood at the moment, and the medics avoided her like the plague.

It was on the third day that she finally ventured to Aladar's tent... She missed him. It felt wrong for him to not be there, but she promised herself he'd be back soon. It was just a matter of wasting the time... And as she stepped into the weirdly empty tent, she immediately saw the Bible he left. There... She supposed that was what she was looking for... She'd hoped he hadn't taken it with him. Settling in the chair she claimed as hers, she took the book in her hands, flipping through the pages until she found Psalms. She liked Psalms... The shorter ones, at least. The words, though sometimes long, weren't too hard for her, and it was beautiful when read aloud, even in her awkward, frequently pausing way of reading.

Her wanderings eventually led her to a shorter passage towards the beginning, a page no more worn than any other; it was the words that caught her attention.

"He makes wars cease..."

She struggled through the passage once, then she read it again...

If Aladar's God could make the war end, why hadn't He? Why hadn't He brought all of the soldiers home and defeated Rithnar for them?

"The Lord of hosts is with us... The God of Jacob is our refuge."

She read more that day; stories she was familiar with by now, but the psalm stuck with her, bringing up so many questions she would have to ask Aladar when he came back... When he came back. Not if. When.

She fell asleep at the chair, her knees pulled up and one of Aladar's blankets wrapped around her as she used the table as a rather uncomfortable pillow. The Bible rested on the table beside her, still open, as she slept as peacefully as one could in a chair. The blanket helped. It smelled like him, and that fact brought more comfort than she could even fully realize... Maybe the next time he decided to go march off and try to get himself killed without her, she'd steal one of his shirts.

That was perhaps her last coherent thought before she fell asleep, woken hours later by her name being spoken.

Sluggishly opening her eyes, she squinted sleepily at him for a moment, before it clicked in her mind and she lurched to her feet with a grin on her face, suddenly wide awake. "Aladar!"

She covered the distance between them in half a second, throwing her arms around him and hugging him tightly... Probably too tightly, but it was her overwhelming relief to see him. "Oh God, I'm so glad you're back, I missed you-"

She leaned back, her eyes sweeping over him to check for injuries, brow furrowed in worry at the amount of blood staining his clothes. She couldn't find anything... But he didn't look good, his skin was too pale, his eyes so dull and tired...

"Are you okay?" she asked, brushing his hair out of his face and hesitantly wiping a smudge of blood off of his cheek.

Dull brown eyes watched her excitement, followed her as she lurched forward to greet him. It happened quickly and yet it went far too slowly for him, like slow motion as he worked to register his surroundings which were getting harder and harder to decipher. But the moment she flung herself into him, he had a burst of awareness in the form of pain, the man biting back a heavy groan from the impact and the tight squeeze of the woman’s vice-like grip. The pain wasn’t from any wounds but in his back and shoulders, the hug painful for him as all movement really was at this point.

The moment she pulled back, the awareness began to slip away again, leaving him still sitting there with little reaction, struggling to even keep his head up. As her hand brushed against his face, he tried to smile, wanting to offer her some reassurance but he was too tired to even do that much. He reached up with his free hand, movement slow and hard for him as he was already beginning to flicker in and out of consciousness.

“I... I’m al... right.” His words were broken, voice barely able to form them as he struggled to finish the simple statement. His fingers reached her cheek, managing to brush against the smooth skin and very lightly touch the red strands of hair that fell within range. They stayed there for a moment, his eyes blinking lethargically, once closed, fighting to slowly open again.

His company was home safe. There were only a few causalities. And Ali was here and looking well. Everything was fine...

The thoughts cycled slowly through his mind in a sluggish pattern and he was zoned out, anything the woman said or did lost to him as it finally settled in his mind that everyone was safe and there was no more to be done. He could relax.

And just like that, the man was out, hand falling from her face as he slumped forward, his weight causing his body to lean to the side as he collapsed into the bed. His magic had drained him and he had fought for a very long time to keep going and be sure they made it home. His forceshield had not been company-sized but they had been the biggest he had ever maintained and he had done it for the longest he ever had. It had taken every ounce of energy, and then some.

Aladar stayed that way for two days, completely oblivious to the world around him, in a coma-like state. There was no waking him up, no reactions... he was completely out and gone to the world in that time, his body fighting to rebuild enough energy for him to safely wake up and thrive.

Lebuin came in during that time to check on him, using his own powers to check that all was well, easily picking up on the signs of a magic comma. He had dealt with them himself and more than enough times with Orym. Every gifted was aware of what it was, though some had a tendency to fall into it more often than not. But it was not harmful in itself, though the fact that his body had needed to do it meant he was harming himself... though that was a conversation that needed to be saved for the Captain alone.

During the time that Aladar was unconscious, Lebuin sent a few of the other medics in to clean the Captain up and just do a final check. The gifted medic took that time to explain to Ali what a magic coma was, trying to reassure her that the man would be alright, he just needed time to heal.

By the second day, Aladar finally began to stir, brown eyes blinking open against the light in his tent, a slight groan escaping him. He still felt tired and he hurt slightly, though less than when he had arrived. But he was awake, and that was what mattered, the man easing himself to sit up, gaze landing on one redhead who always seemed to be at his side.

"Hey."

And he smiled.