Skylar eyelids dropped a bit from being tired as he stared at his phone screen. He brought an elbow up on the table and rested his face in the palm of his hand. He stared at his phone blankly, zoning out a bit as he listened to music. He stayed zoned out for a bit before he got up, deciding he wanted to go for a smoke break. He let the teacher know before going outside. He stayed outside for a good 10 minutes before going back to class.

Alex's gaze and attention were pulled from the drawing he was currently working on when Skylar stood. Without fully realizing it he stopped drawing and let his eyes follow the male as he moved to speak to the teacher and then departed from the room. He furrowed his brow slightly, his blue hues rested on the door for a while longer before he caught himself and forced his gaze to the page of his sketchbook. With a soft sigh and a slight shake of his head, he propped his elbow on his desk and leaned forward to rest his chin in his hand before working on the drawing.

He looked at Alex slightly when he sat back down, he was in a slightly better mood now that he had smoked. He was feeling much more calm and less anxious, effects of the za. He let out a small smile as he watched the male draw. He then turned his attention to his phone, not wanting to stare for much longer because it would be creepy. He leaned back in his chair and sighed slightly, he wanted school to be over.

Upon Skylar's return, Alex glanced up briefly before returning his gaze and attention to his work. He had an air of concentration about him as he drew, his hand moving with confidence as he moved on from the sketch of the rearing horse he'd made and started working on the smaller and finer details. He started first with the mane, each stroke of his pencil making the flow and appearance of the creature's mane as realistic as he could get it. Lightly he bit at his bottom lip, a habit he had when he was drawing or intently focused on something.

Time skip to after school.

.

Sky walked home with his earbuds in, listening to music. The whole day was slightly off, but not by a lot. It didn't bother Sky too much because it was kind of inevitable. He knew it would be a little weird once they both saw each other at school. He arrived home and immediately got unready and got into comfty clothes. Sky turned on his tv and then laid in bed for the rest of the night because he didn't have plans with Chris or Alex.

Despite his worries the day had gone well, far better than he'd thought it might. Then again his mind was always racing, trying to figure out how to remain undiscovered by his family and peers. Shaking his head he pushed such thoughts and concerns aside as he opened the door to his house. "I'm home." He called, not normally a thing he would do but then his parents usually knew when he had work and when to expect him home. Tonight was a night off, something he was grateful for considering sleep had been hard to come by over the weekend.

`

Slipping off his shoes, Alex dropped his backpack from his shoulder and set it down against the wall. "Hey, Alex." His mother's voice called from the kitchen. He smiled faintly as he moved to greet her. "How was school?" This time it was the gruff voice of his father and he paused for a moment, only now registering that his old man was sitting on the couch, a game of football playing on the screen and currently muted. "It was okay." He answered with a shrug. "You aren't working today?" Alex turned his gaze from his father and the game playing on the TV to look toward his mother who, having paused in what was likely preparation for dinner, was standing at the entrance of the dining room. "No, I've got today off." He answered and gave her a warm smile. "What's for dinner?" He asked and watched as his mother gave a nod. "Chicken Casserole."

`

Content with the answers he was given, and once sure that his parents had no further questions for him, Alex excused himself and, grabbing his backpack, headed for his room. There he stayed until the scent of dinner made its way to him along with the sound of his mother's voice summoning the family to dinner. By the time he left his room and descended the stairs, his father and sister were already seated and had food on their plates. He smiled faintly and moved to take his own seat. "Thanks." He said, looking toward his mother who was taking her seat before he moved to put some food onto his plate.

`

For several moments there was no conversation as each person began eating. "This country's all but gone to hell." His father's sudden voice and the annoyed edge to it gave Alex, and everyone at the table a moment's pause. "Why do you say that hon." Alex glanced towards his mother, silently wishing that she hadn't gone ahead and asked that question. Whatever it was that had so clearly upset his father, Alex found he didn't want to know about. Drawing in a breath Alex turned his gaze to his plate and took another bite of his food. "Can't even watch a decent game without having questionable ads shown." Here we go. Alex thought. What 'questionable ads' had his father seen? "I should be able to sit in my house and watch something on my TV without having filth shoved down my throat. I'm tired of having to be tolerant of this gay pride movement." Tensing Alex threw a glance at his father and set his fork down. He knew where this was going, and had a fair idea of the kind of comments his father was going to throw out.

`

Alex managed to tolerate sitting at the table until his father got out his irritation about the lgbtq community, though whatever appetite he'd had left him after his second bite of food. Feeling nauseous he moved to stand up. "I'm not feeling great, so I think I'm going to head to bed." He said, his mouth dry and his chest tight. After getting out what he needed to, Alex's father had all but said he was grateful for having normal children who were mentally stable. Fortunately, his parents allowed him to depart, and after setting his plate in the sink he made a hasty retreat up the stairs and to his room.

Sky fell asleep for a couple of hours, waking up around dinner time. His mom knew not to wake him, but he woke up just in time. Sky smelt the food from his room, making him get up and wander over to the kitchen. "The smell woke me up." Sky said with a slight chuckle. He grabbed himself a plate and put a good amount of food on it. "Thank you mom." Sky said as he walked back to his room. "You're welcome honey." Sky's mom called out (I don't remember her name).

He sat down on his bed and ate while continuing to watch whatever show was still playing. He finished his food pretty fast and brought his dishes to the kitchen. Sky made his way back to his room and decided to take a quick shower, he wanted to smell good for if he went out tonight, whether that be with Chris or Alex.

.

Sky got out of his bathroom with a towel around his waist. He decided to text Chris to see if he was working, if he was he would be on his break right now so he would be able to text him back.

He got a text back from Chris pretty fast, and he was at work. Sky was slightly happy that Chris was working, now it would give him and Alex a chance to hang out, if he wanted to. Sky scrolled to Alex's contact and began typing.

Sky smiled slightly at the text before he pressed send. He then quickly got dressed, anticipating a reply.

.

(sorry it's nowhere as long as your reply, I need sleep haha but I decided right now would be a good time to reply.)

With his appetite having been spoiled by the topic of conversation, Alex had picked at his food, barely managing to force a few bites into his roiling stomach. Honestly, he felt like he was going to be sick, and was half-prepared to make a run for the bathroom if the nausea became any more intolerable. He didn't doubt that, upon his hasty retreat, his mother and father both were looking over his seemingly untouched plate with disapproval.

`

His chest felt as if a heavy weight was pressed upon it as he stepped into his room. Closing the door behind himself, Alex moved over to his bed and all but collapsed into it with a groan. It had always been difficult to hear his father and mother speak so... poorly of people who liked the same gender, but this particular conversation had hit harder than most others. Not because it was tremendously terrible, no, in fact, his father hadn't been as cold and verbally cruel as he often was when it came to homosexuality. Instead, it was because, during the entirety of his time at the table listening to his father's homophobic comments, his thoughts had continually traveled back to Skylar, regardless of how hard he tried to think of anything else but the guy. He'd recalled the kisses they'd shared during and after the party, how genuinely happy he'd been.

`

Being able to tell someone, to confess a part of himself that had been hidden for so long, to someone and have them respond in understanding, had been freeing. He hadn't realized how suffocated he felt pretending to be some perfect child that he very clearly wasn't, not until he'd kissed Skylar. Of course, he could blame such an act on the pill and the drinks he'd had, could try and convince himself that he hadn't been thinking clearly. None of that though would change the fact that, he'd wanted to kiss Skylar, had wanted to shortly after coming to know the guy.

`

"Damn it." He breathed into the pillow he'd buried his face in. Again his chest tightened as his thoughts progressed. As much as he had wanted to kiss Skylar, and as much as he'd enjoyed kissing him, it had been wrong to do so. Hell, it had been wrong to tell him that he wanted to give it a try, to be daring enough to hold onto a relationship with someone that actually interested him even if it had to be hidden. He knew then, just as he knew now that it couldn't possibly work.

`

So engrossed in his own thoughts, Alex jumped when he felt his phone buzz in his pocket and heard it chime, notifying him of an incoming message. Instead of immediately reaching to grab his phone and see who'd sent him a text, Alex remained still, his eyes shut tightly. He suspected the message was from Skylar but he felt himself wishing, hoping, that it was someone, anyone, else. Finally, and after nearly five minutes of doing nothing but laying still, Alex pushed himself up and retrieved his phone from his pocket. Turning it on he noted the way his heart seemed to leap when he saw that the message was from Skylar before his chest tightened with such uncomfortable regret and remorse that he nearly threw his phone across the room.

`

It took him another couple of minutes before he worked up enough courage to read the message. Biting his lip, Alex tightened his hold on the device, before slowly going to respond. If only Skylar had messaged him earlier, he thought, as he began to type out a response. Perhaps then he would have allowed himself to feel that rush of excitement and elation, but hearing his father talk, Alex had been swiftly and firmly reminded of who he was, or rather who he should be. "Wish I could, but I've got to catch up on homework. Sorry." After typing out his response, Alex read it over and let his thumb hover over the send button for several seconds before he pressed it.

`

Immediately after he'd pressed that button and the message was on its way to Skylar's phone, Alex turned his phone off. Dropping it onto the bed he pushed himself up and moved over to his desk. His excuse for why he couldn't hang out wasn't exactly a lie. He did have homework, but it wasn't anything he needed to catch up on, nor was it so much as to cause him to worry about completing it all and being able to turn it in on time.

Skylar waited for Alex's reply for what felt like hours, it was only a couple of minutes though. Sky spent the time scrolling on his other socials, frowning when he saw the message. Hm, how could I make him say yes? Sky thought to himself for a couple of minutes before typing. "Fuck homework, come on Alex. If you fail you can blame it on me. I wanna see you." The last bit was risky, so he hovered his thumb over the delete button. He swallowed thickly before saying fuck it and just sending him the message. It made his heart jump from out of his chest, beating harder than ever when it made its way back. Sky took a deep breath and turned off his phone. Sky didn't think he would be able to get Alex to budge but he wanted to, just to make sure they were alright.

.

As much as Sky liked Alex, and liked the kisses they shared, he knew it would be hard with Alex. Sky didn't know a lot about him, his family, and just his situation, but he knew if Alex wasn't accepted at home this situation would be very hard on him. It would make it hard for both of them, it would hurt them in many different ways. But Sky also knew if Alex's parents didn't accept him then he would just have to accept it. How selfish it may sound, that's just how it is. Sky took a deep breath in, taking in all the thoughts in his mind. He then sighed sharply.

.

(sorry its much shorter ahh)

Even as Alex opened his geometry book, his gaze scanned the text and the problems he needed to solve, his thoughts were elsewhere. He found himself unable to drown out or silence his mind from replaying his father's words. I should be able to sit in my house and watch something on my tv without having filth shoved down my throat. Along with his father's words, images, and feelings of the night he'd spent with Skylar, the kisses and touches they'd shared presented themselves. It was torture, absolute and complete torture, the way his heart seemed to speed up before his chest tightened as his thoughts through condemnation at him.

`

What happened to not kissing or getting intimately close with guys? It had been his one rule, the one rule he'd set for himself and made himself adhere to since the moment he'd learned what he was. One night, one beautiful and perfect night, and he'd broken that one rule. His parents might not know, and if he could he'd keep it that way, but it wouldn't change the fact that he'd kissed and been kissed by Skylar, or that he'd so greatly enjoyed it. It wouldn't erase the fact that, sitting there in his room alone he wasn't sure he'd be able to do it. He didn't know if he would be able to keep a relationship with Skylar, or any guy for long. If he'd never kissed Skylar, if he'd stopped anything from happening when he'd noticed the male looking at his lips in that room at the party, then perhaps this wouldn't be happening. True, he might have regretted not taking action when he had the chance, especially considering he was attracted to Skylar, but that type of regret would be far better surely. Now, he'd gotten someone else tangled up in the mess that was his life, and telling him that he wanted out now was surely going to hurt him.

`

Biting at his lip hard enough to cause a jolt of pain, Alex groaned before moving to close the geometry book. He leaned back in his chair and tilted his head back to look up at the ceiling. There he remained until he heard the sound of his phone. Slowly, and with some reluctance he straightened and spun his chair around so that he was facing the bed. Then, he pushed himself to his feet and made his way over, only stopping once he was next to the mattress, Alex grabbed his cell phone from where he'd abandoned it on the bed.

`

It didn't come as a surprise to him when he saw that Skylar had responded. What did surprise him though was, upon opening the text, the way the guy had admitted to wanting to see him. How greatly he wanted to respond differently than the message he found himself gradually typing in response. "I can't, Skylar. My parents would kill me if I got a failing grade." Moving his finger to the send button he paused, and almost found himself pressing the delete button and then typing out the message that he wanted to send. Shaking his head and drawing in a breath he forced his thumb down onto the send button with such force that the action nearly made him drop the device. "Sorry." He added before setting his phone down and turning. He didn't want to be anywhere near it, for he doubted he'd be able to keep himself from changing his mind. So, he left his room and headed toward the bathroom.

`

As he moved down the hall he could hear the sound of the tv downstairs, the soft echo of conversation as his parents and little sister talked. He should be with them right now, but honestly, he didn't think he could bear looking at his father's face, not after what he'd said at the dinner table. So, when he reached the bathroom, he stepped inside and closed the door behind himself before moving to begin running himself a nice and hot shower.

((It's okay. xD))