Avenn was not usually someone to feel guilt for her words or actions, especially when she’d been raised to be unapologetic in a position of power, yet something about the silence that followed only made the young woman want to freeze time to think of the right words to say to address what was transpiring in public. It was no surprise to her that some amount of time followed with a lingering silence between the princess and her friend, although she was taken aback when he directly confronted her on it. Other than her family, who were not as kind or as well-intentioned in their interactions with her, Myers was the only person brave or honest enough to confront the young woman on anything.

"Why didn't you answer Gordon?" He turned to enter through an opening, and she waited several seconds before entering herself. She remained just inside the doorway while he obtained his things on the other side of the room, studying the expression on his face. Because so much time had passed since she’d been questioned by anyone, her first instinct was to grow defensive, but she inhaled slowly, realizing that the way he acted around her was the primary reason why she’d followed through on this promise of bringing him back to the castle to begin with. Letting the breath out just as slowly, she began to answer, eyeing the opening to ensure that Cjed was still there in case anyone should make an attempt on her life.

“I… I don’t know,” she replied. ‘Sorry’ was a phrase that came to mind, but one she couldn’t say in public to someone of lower status than her. “I don’t know why I’m here, I don’t know how to explain myself to the public, to my family, to my fiance, and most of all, to you. It’s a complicated game I’m playing here, and it feels like the gap between who I want to be and who I’m expected to be grows wider every day. I don’t want to lose who I am, and I thought that having you would help me with that.” She paused for a moment, studying the back of him from across the room, hoping he would turn soon so she could read his expression. She drew in another slow breath, admitting, “I don’t think there was a time in my life I felt more myself than when I was with you, nor a time I felt less than when you were taken away. I feel silly saying it because I know we’re not those children anymore, but something in me was hoping that what remains of us would still feel that way now.”

As he stepped back and grabbed his things, Avenn replied, “anything you don’t have can be provided, of course.” Then, once more, “are you sure you want to go?” Her brow furrowed. “Life within the castle…nothing’s changed, it’s not an easy life there. I don’t want you to go on my account…” She smiled bittersweetly, as if expecting him to change his mind, “I want you to go because it’s what you really want.”

…

The carriage they traveled in was excessively long, leaving room for the pair of them to be spread out to the length that was legally appropriate. While Avenn exercised more power than most in the kingdom, she still had no say over the legal matters, and she didn’t necessarily want to. There was a religious matter that had prevented Myers from being sacrificed as a prisoner the first time–his race was not theirs, and thus, he would be an offensive offering–but that didn’t mean that her father would not be unwilling to kill him on principle if he heard that something had occurred a second time. Usually a peaceful people in their dealings with other kingdoms, Avenn knew her father wouldn’t offer grace twice when it came to this particular individual. Even if it bloodied his conscience.

A comfortable silence had washed over the pair, and Avenn took every opportunity to study his features as he glanced away from her toward the window, toward his shoes, or anything other than her face. He seemed as if he were acting shy, yet there was a quiet confidence and kindness about him that drew her in. He’d always had that, but it seemed intangible in comparison with the noticeable maturation of the rest of him. He’d definitely seen some things while he was in the prisoner city, things she knew she didn’t want to know about. Despite this, a natural curiosity told her that he could tell her anything, and nothing would make her wish to send him away. Not again.

“What was it like, living in there?” She asked finally, continuing to allow her soft and unassuming gaze to float over him

Myers knew the question was probably off-putting. He didn't mean it to be passive aggressive, but his own inquiry made him want to grow even more curious by the moment of what his Princess friend would say. However, when the response didn't come as soon as he had hoped, he realized he may have overestimated Avenn. Not in a bad way, but in a way that maybe he didn't know her the way he once did from all of those years ago. Myers always thought of her and remembered her as a little girl - curious and exciting, wanting to explore and live life as a child without a care for her title. But now, marriage was in the air, she was pardoning a childhood friend most likely against her father's will, and Myers could do nothing but wonder why. Why not years ago? When he was still innocent. Most would say he never was anyway, but the thought seemed to be comforting to the young man.

Myers listened to her response. She was... lost? Perhaps more had gone on than he had anticipated, but that would be for the both of them. Myers gave a soft sigh, one of sympathy, mostly for being slightly aggressive. Deep down he knew that Avenn would never think of him that way, but along with anger came the guilt. Myers had always been this way, and it was something that seemed to grow more and more within him ever since he arrived in this godforsaken place. Myers had looked up from what he was doing and gave a soft smile. "Avenn, I feel the same way. I just don't want you to do this because you feel like you should. You are a Princess and I am barely a man. Should you pursue this, you are risking everything again. Pardoning me is a blessing, I just simply wish you could do it without feeling lost." Myers said calmly. He offered a warming smile before he would grab one or two more things.

"Thank you, Princess." Myers said, trying his best to act as 'proffessional' as he could given the guard was there. He figured it would be the least he could do. Myers scoffed playfully. "Of course I want to go. I would go anywhere for you and do anything for you." Myers had grown more sincere by the word he let out of his mouth, beginning not to care who was around. Someone probably knew the history, and if they didn't, they knew there was some now as the pair interacted.

---

The distance between the two in the carriage was considered appropiate, though Myers would prefer to be able to sit closer. However, to prevent any further harm than he had already caused just by heading back to the kingdom, he sat at a reasonable distance away. Myers sat closest to the small window, glancing out every now and again or playing with his hands or looking down at his feet. The silence was comfortable - more comfrotable than before when they were gathering his things, so he didn't feel the need to say much. He figured upon his arrival that there would be a number of things said to him anyway.

Myers' attention was diverted when he heard the Princess' question: What was it like, living in there?

Myers looked at her. Something painful grew on his face though he wouldn't even notice it. "Dirty and loud. Most nights I'd lay awake, sleeping on a matress that was so worn it might as well be the floor. I was lucky enough be accompanied by what they would consider 'decent' people," Myers replied. "Some could say the kingdom life is more of a hell though," he then teased, trying to lighten the mood. It would be obvious there was more to his words as there were normally nowadays. Not that things ever had a double meaning - Myers couldn't be more straight forward, but he figured that should he never bring it up of what he saw and did then it wouldn't matter. It could be like it never happened. But that would be denial, wouldn't it?

Myers then shook his head. "I can say I missed the good food and clean clothes. I was never much of a bath-taker until I missed it in the city," Myers said with a small smile. He glanced back out of the window. "And it's muted there. No color. Everything's dark and gloomy unlike outside of those scaling walls." Myers continued on, trying his best to paint a picture that wouldn't include the death and sorrow he would see on the streets everyday.

"What has kingdom life been, Princess?" Myers then asked. He wasn't trying to change the subject, but he assumed there would be a different time for him to explain what he saw and did in that place.

Avenn listened to Myers with a level of interest that she couldn’t be bothered to pay to most people, not even when it was required of her. The pain and damage that had been done to him while he was in there were not things that she could erase, and she felt a tremendous amount of guilt for that. The princess was still quite young and did not know the intricacies of matters such as why the prison city existed to begin with, and why punishment was necessary. Of course, in any case, her friend had always had a mischievous streak, but the real reason he had ended up in Ithab’kar was not a result of that. The fault was her own, and part of her believed that it should have been her serving that sentence in there. The feeling only grew as she saw and heard not only the things he said, but also those he didn’t.

Still, what stuck out to her the most was the way that, despite everything, he was still largely optimistic. There was still joy in his bright eyes, and a level of charisma in his smile that had only grown more charming with age. She still couldn’t help but gloss over his appearance in a way that she hoped he would not notice, perhaps because he seemed to be doing the same with her. When he shifted the conversation back to her, she couldn’t help but smile at the way that they interacted. Though awkward due to the time that had passed, there was something comfortable that just existed between them.

“Same hell, different devils, isn’t it?” If it were anyone else, she wouldn’t have spoken so earnestly, yet there was a certain catharsis involved in telling the truth for once in her life, and telling it to the keeper of all of her childhood secrets at that. The guards were her own and she could have them killed for betrayal if she needed to, although she knew that they were quite loyal. She listened to him speak for a while longer, never losing the amusement that came from the novelty that was getting to hear him speak for the first time in ages. Again, he shifted the conversation to her, and she responded.

“Kingdom life has been what it always was, I suppose. We’ve just gotten older, which means that I’m forced to partake in more of it, you know? The same people, same politics, I’m sick of all of it. I know I shouldn’t say that because I know that being royalty is a blessing, but it comes with its own challenges. My brother is still at war, my father is still my father, and the years since I’ve seen you have all been time spent trying to find a suitor willing to marry me in order that I might fulfill my end of my deal with my father. He agreed that I could come and fetch you from the prison city once I finalized a proposal, and that proved more difficult than I originally thought. In fact, I’m not sure what I’ll do with myself now that I’ve accomplished it, I don’t care enough about the wedding to tend to those matters and my heart’s too soft to begin caring about the politics of the kingdom now.”

—

The remainder of the ride continued with the same easy conversation as the beginning, and the pair arrived back at the castle after several more hours of travel. Night had fallen by the time the carriage pulled in, and the pair entered the kingdom through one of the winding back hallways in order to keep Myers’ arrival from being a large public ordeal, although there weren’t many people gathered around the kingdom these days anyways because of the curfew that Avenn’s father had bestowed on the people. Word had spread that individuals beyond the castle were threatening to take the king’s life, although it had been almost three months now and nothing had happened. Avenn believed that half of the reason her father had kept the curfew was to reduce the sounds of the suffering peasants within the castle walls so he could sleep better at night. At times, she left with her guards to sneak them bread and supplies when her father was asleep.

Regardless, sneaking through the back alleyways of the castle with Myers was reminiscent of their childhood in various ways, and gave Avenn a sense of nostalgia that brightened her spirits more than anything had in the years since he’d been gone. When they finally arrived to the top floor of the castle where her and her staff’s quarters sat adjacent to the grandiose royal library, Avenn gestured from a great distance away toward the room she’d had prepared for Myers. It wasn’t a far distance from her own, but far enough that no rumors could be spread about the nature of their relationship together.

“I suppose you’re tired, I’ll let you get some rest and we can have breakfast together in the morning?”

Although her gaze didn’t linger on him for as long as she would have liked, the sleepy quality of both of their demeanors made it difficult to conceal what was beneath the surface. If she could have, she might have spent hours just tracing the intricacies of his adult figure and comparing it to the image she had kept of him in her mind for all those years.

“Goodnight,” she finally said, pulling her eyes away from him as she felt his gaze watching her leave. When she turned back to look at him, she saw him staring sheepishly, and she smiled softly, unable to hide it in such a vulnerable and gentle state. “Welcome back,” she called over her shoulder, allowing her guards to escort her back to her own room at the very end of the hall.

It had felt as though the pair never even departed from each other. Myers still felt like he knew everything about the Princess - her ins and outs, the ones he had studied since he was a child. He had always been observant with those around him, but not as much as he was around her. Most would consider it to be an obsession, maybe even stalker-ish. Myers admired her, and that was the truth. There was no supressing it. How could he? It was obvious to just about anyone who noticed the way he looked at her, almost like longing for air or something of the like. Listening to her talk again was a breath of fresh air, especially from where he just came from. Literally and figuratively.

The mentions of her family made Myers feel like he really hadn't been gone all of those years. Not much had changed - except for Avenn's maturing beauty that he had already grown to find himself stuck in like quicksand, though it wasn't like he was making any attempt to escape him. Of course he was still modest and respectful around her - especially with the guards present - but he knew deep down that perhaps the both of them longed for something more. Why else would you break your childhood companion out of a prison?

"Princess, the politics of the kingdom are all you are here for. Your duty is that. Why else would your father still be so hot-headed after all of these years?" Myers said, only slightly teasing. He knew that he would never be a fit suitor, so the mention of marriage didn't even make him flinch. A man could still want, however, but for Myers it was a dream. One that he wished to accomplish one day.

---

The arrival on the kingdom was later, the sun already set and the sky as dark has it could've gotten. The man's tired eyes scanned the area - not as many people out as he had expected, though it wouldn't bother him. The kingdom was much more clean and pristine than the prison city Myers had been in for so long. The air felt cleaner, the buildings more well-kept and the general aura of the surrounding area was much more welcoming. In a way, it had all felt ironic. Being back in such a place after being deemed a criminal and doing worse than his original 'crime' felt... wrong. Myers wouldn't say anything aloud, let alone to the Princess, and he was quick to mask anything on his face that may say he had something to be said.

Myers followed his childhood friend through the backways of the palace, feeling nostalgia. He smiled at the thought, looking at her when she wasn't paying attention. Even in the dim light, he could see the softness of her face and how velvet like her hair appeared. The way her dress flowed while walking, how her eyes were brightened. Myers couldn't help but smile more and more while looking at her.

He remembered why he wanted to come home.

Myers followed her willingly, seeing her gesture towards his prepped room. He nodded as a thank you, remembering that her own chambers were only a few strides away. Though still placed apart, Myers knew that she probably had made it as close as she could without making it awkward for anyone else in the castle. Of course, her reputation was more important now than ever, though pardoning someone who had ruined her image years ago may not help it now. Myers was not complaining, though.

Myers nodded, his sack in hand. "I'd like that," he said softly. "Bright and early?" He said playfully, knowing the kingdom life started early. He doubted that had changed a single bit.

Myers had continued to admire her in the dim lighting, wanting to give her something more than just a look of longing, but his body was weighed down by the dwindling energy within it. He mustered a tooth-filled smile before he watched her walk away after saying goodnight. "Goodnight to you as well, Princess Avenn," he said proudly and respectfully. The guards seemed tense in a way, probably aware of some sort of history, but Myers didn't care. "Thank you for the gesture," he called back, entering the room. He had felt a weight suddenly lifted off of his shoulders, but knew what he had to maintain.

This was what he was longing for. Avenn and a kingdom. Whatever else was there, he could find himself fighting through it alongside her.

(Ugh sorry this is so delayed. If needed I can definitely add more and do a little time skip to the next morning. Life's been kicking my butt again lol)