Chatbox
 Cypress Road
01:32:29 Cy, love
I wanted my hair to be curled in the morning so I have 4 socks and a ribbon in my hair. Fingers crossed the curls come out good. Never done anything like this before closest I've done is double dutch braids over night so my hair is wavy the next day and will last atleast 2 days so long as I don't wash my hair.
 Green Day
01:31:49 
How do you do wolf party?
 Continental Wolves
01:30:18 Emmet , Spoopy Wolf
Im so close to being in the top 5 most dominate packs o,0
I think ill be happy with my dominance when I get to about 50k
 distant-lands
01:28:37 katy | beetle
emmet,
understandable. i really should buy some den expansions and start mass breeding. i've been having so many duds lately lol
 VioletEcho
01:28:16 Is a dinosaur rawr
Vapor thank you<3
 Continental Wolves
01:27:28 Emmet , Spoopy Wolf
Katy
Same but the chance for pelt defects or more SVs compels me to mass breed
 Collar
01:27:04 ♰ Vapor ♰
Emmet

They call em the woman haver
 Collar
01:26:50 ♰ Vapor ♰
Vi

Awhh well I hope things get awesomer for ya! <3
 Continental Wolves
01:26:37 Emmet , Spoopy Wolf
Collar
My den is full of women, thats probably only about 1/4th of them
 VioletEcho
01:25:44 Is a dinosaur rawr
Vapor
Glad to hear it :DD
Ehh kinda just meh
 distant-lands
01:25:39 katy | beetle
emmet,
40?!
good lord, i can barely handle the stress of 5 at a time
 The Reaper
01:25:35 Reaper / Grim
Pinky
:eyes:
 Collar
01:25:32 ♰ Vapor ♰
Emmet

Thags a lotta women
 Continental Wolves
01:24:42 Emmet , Spoopy Wolf
Currently at like 40 pregnant females
 Urux
01:24:39 Urox, Uris
My flight is delayed, crying. Im going to miss my connection haha
 distant-lands
01:23:46 katy | beetle
collar,
thank you! :)
 Collar
01:22:52 ♰ Vapor ♰
Holiday Raffler

*^* I'm working on em more tomorrow!! Hehe

Distant

Stop it that looks amazing!!!
 distant-lands
01:22:00 katy | beetle
collar,
haha i'll be sure to pop some updates in chat xD

this is how it's looking so far!
-Click-
 The Reaper
01:21:21 Reaper / Grim
Pinky
Please do! I finally have the apples to get one! XD
 Collar
01:20:49 ♰ Vapor ♰
Vi

I'm REALLY good!!! How are you? :33

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Forums > Socialize
   1 

I need opinions/tips on my writingJune 22, 2022 08:42 PM


Firefox

Darkseeker
 
Posts: 3137
#2780784
Give Award
I crave validation, nah XD just kidding, although that is partly true. I am mostly looking for contrsuctive criticism on my writing, I see something wrong with it, I aim to get better.
So with that let me just link some examples and I would like it if y'all could comment some tips/criticism. (Compliments are okay also)
~~
Examples.
1. Raina's Story Wrote this today in my spare time-
3. took me four hours I need someone to proofread or something- help me out Raven's Story
~~
Let me know if The links don't work so I can fix them-
And note to the mods, I had no idea where to put this, if it's in the wrong sub forum please move for me, thank you.

Edited at June 23, 2022 01:19 AM by Firefox
I need opinions/tips on my writingJune 23, 2022 06:49 PM


Yuketa

Neutral
 
Posts: 1700
#2781080
Give Award
You could practice writing similes and integrating idioms into some places, if preferred.
There was an exercise we used to do in Creative Writing where the teacher would put up a picture on the projector screen of a location, like a cabin in the woods, or a marketplace, and we would write out a scene while incorporating the five senses into it.
"The woods were a little musty, and Aril observed particles of dust as they floated down the citrine sunbeams, like little boats cascading in slow motion down a titanic waterfall. It was just cold enough to make the hairs on the back of his neck stand up, and dull whatever he could smell of the place, but there was still that faint scent of an unnatural... thing. Something ancient and rotting, and not quite chemical although he almost tasted ammonia in the assaulting concoction. It was a substance hidden within the magical pretense of the abandoned cottage. He felt the coin in his pocket, his good luck charm; it had been with him through the ages, and its faces were worn smooth by his fiddlings. With a couple circles of his thumb over its edge, he hoped it would see him through to the end of this situation, too."
I'd write more but I just woke up and am headed for work lol.
One other piece of advice I guess is, read literature that you like and would want to emulate in your own writing, dissect it, even. What makes this scene powerful/emotional/feel hazardous? Are the protag's goals being realistically hindered by this or that, and are the stakes high enough? Etcetera.
Good luck!

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