Wolf Play : I need opinions/tips on my writing
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 Boeing
08:22:54 Boe is a bear, Rawr!
Red
Just... nope. Nope. Nopies. I don't care what the reward is, I'm on Desert 2 and that's 1 too many
 technoblade
08:22:11 Lil Techy | Techno
Redd

Yeah they all ran over to me to die instead
 Red River Wolves
08:21:50 Redd Dead
Techno,
Well where were they earlier? XD I went two levels back to back no gators

Boe,
lol same. I refuse to explore desert
 Schei
08:21:18 Cuore
Voxtexy
Wow he's beautiful
 Saint
08:21:13 
i have forest quest for Moose and Coyotes, and a scavenger and i cant find any lmao
 Boeing
08:20:15 Boe is a bear, Rawr!
goodbye I do not want a Desert quest ew
 technoblade
08:20:07 Lil Techy | Techno
redd

you say this as I get gator after gator
 Red River Wolves
08:19:39 Redd Dead
Techno,
I had an alligator quest earlier so of course none of them showed up, but I got a lot of blue jay feathers out of it. It was actually kind of nice if I wasn't actively looking for gators
 distant-screams
08:18:27 katy | beetle
-WP Click-
hopefully she throws something good e.e
 Voxtexy
08:17:24 Vox, Corey
Another 50+ AC pup :0

-WP Click-
 BuggyOs
08:17:07 Bug-a-boo
You spy 5 Polar Bears.

oof
 Narran Park
08:16:05 Sting
Just got this pup.
Outstanding Precision
-WP Click-
 technoblade
08:14:22 Lil Techy | Techno
Redd

Swamp is not my favourite and neither is desert but I'll live.
 Voxtexy
08:13:46 Vox, Corey
At least their sibling didn't trick me XD

-WP Click-
 Voxtexy
08:13:32 Vox, Corey
-WP Click-
-WP Click-

This is just brutal.
 Red River Wolves
08:13:10 Redd Dead
Techno,
That's pretty good. It has a concrete end at least
 Stygian Forest
08:12:48 
Sabbath

What's new?
 Voxtexy
08:12:05 Vox, Corey
Sabbath,
Right?? I expected at least a few more rosewood markings to show up on him lol
 Sabbath
08:11:23 Rook
Stygian
Heyo c:
 Stygian Forest
08:11:08 
Sabbath

Hello.

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I need opinions/tips on my writingJune 22, 2022 08:42 PM


Firefox

Darkseeker
 
Posts: 3137
#2780784
Give Award
I crave validation, nah XD just kidding, although that is partly true. I am mostly looking for contrsuctive criticism on my writing, I see something wrong with it, I aim to get better.
So with that let me just link some examples and I would like it if y'all could comment some tips/criticism. (Compliments are okay also)
~~
Examples.
1. Raina's Story Wrote this today in my spare time-
3. took me four hours I need someone to proofread or something- help me out Raven's Story
~~
Let me know if The links don't work so I can fix them-
And note to the mods, I had no idea where to put this, if it's in the wrong sub forum please move for me, thank you.

Edited at June 23, 2022 01:19 AM by Firefox
I need opinions/tips on my writingJune 23, 2022 06:49 PM


Yuketa

Neutral
 
Posts: 1539
#2781080
Give Award
You could practice writing similes and integrating idioms into some places, if preferred.
There was an exercise we used to do in Creative Writing where the teacher would put up a picture on the projector screen of a location, like a cabin in the woods, or a marketplace, and we would write out a scene while incorporating the five senses into it.
"The woods were a little musty, and Aril observed particles of dust as they floated down the citrine sunbeams, like little boats cascading in slow motion down a titanic waterfall. It was just cold enough to make the hairs on the back of his neck stand up, and dull whatever he could smell of the place, but there was still that faint scent of an unnatural... thing. Something ancient and rotting, and not quite chemical although he almost tasted ammonia in the assaulting concoction. It was a substance hidden within the magical pretense of the abandoned cottage. He felt the coin in his pocket, his good luck charm; it had been with him through the ages, and its faces were worn smooth by his fiddlings. With a couple circles of his thumb over its edge, he hoped it would see him through to the end of this situation, too."
I'd write more but I just woke up and am headed for work lol.
One other piece of advice I guess is, read literature that you like and would want to emulate in your own writing, dissect it, even. What makes this scene powerful/emotional/feel hazardous? Are the protag's goals being realistically hindered by this or that, and are the stakes high enough? Etcetera.
Good luck!

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