Chatbox
 The Amethyst
02:08:56 Dart
Buggy

Oop
 BuggyOs
02:08:46 Bugfood
Dart
maybe, event quests also dipped
 The Amethyst
02:06:51 Dart
Buggy

Ah the time dissapeard, maybe that's why it crashed?
 BuggyOs
02:06:17 Bugfood
Dart
oh I have no idea. Things just happened, the site broke, then I left and came back a bit later and things were working again lmao
 The Amethyst
02:05:40 Dart
Buggy

YIPPEE they making redisgns for apples also or nah?
 Amygdala
02:05:08 Amy/Anpmygdala
Gotta poof for a bit
 BuggyOs
02:04:27 Bugfood
Dart
yeah!! Happened earlier today
 The Amethyst
02:03:11 Dart
Hey in gulins quests the mushroom logo is redisigned!
 Amygdala
02:01:03 Amy/Anpmygdala
Tea
Cute art
 StarRun
02:00:02 
-WP Click-

I wanna try and decorate her but I'm not sure what to decorate her with
 The Tea Drinkers
01:59:45 Tea, Tea Queen
Ky
thank you :D

Buggy
lmao he's just a barbie girl
 BuggyOs
01:59:37 Bugfood
Ky
ooh I've never been to a wedding, hope the cake is delish!
 BuggyOs
01:59:14 Bugfood
Tea
I thought you said barbie boy and when I saw the art I didn't question it lmao
 kycantina
01:59:09 no. 1 swamp defender
Tea, ooh pretty!!

Bug, I'm ok, had a pretty big and late lunch so it's leftover wedding cake for dinner lol
 Amygdala
01:58:47 Amy/Anpmygdala
Ky
How are you
 Forest Dwelling
01:58:34 I am on Wolflocke ok
@Nyx

Thanks! I'll note that down somewhere
 Boeing
01:58:22 Boe is a bear, Rawr!
Ky
chilling lol
I was just about to go get some breakfast, back in like 10
 The Tea Drinkers
01:57:50 Tea, Tea Queen
-Click- babie boy
 kycantina
01:57:37 no. 1 swamp defender
Amy!
 BuggyOs
01:57:27 Bugfood
Ky
pretty good! how are you?

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Forums > Socialize
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I need opinions/tips on my writingJune 22, 2022 08:42 PM


Firefox

Darkseeker
 
Posts: 3137
#2780784
Give Award
I crave validation, nah XD just kidding, although that is partly true. I am mostly looking for contrsuctive criticism on my writing, I see something wrong with it, I aim to get better.
So with that let me just link some examples and I would like it if y'all could comment some tips/criticism. (Compliments are okay also)
~~
Examples.
1. Raina's Story Wrote this today in my spare time-
3. took me four hours I need someone to proofread or something- help me out Raven's Story
~~
Let me know if The links don't work so I can fix them-
And note to the mods, I had no idea where to put this, if it's in the wrong sub forum please move for me, thank you.

Edited at June 23, 2022 01:19 AM by Firefox
I need opinions/tips on my writingJune 23, 2022 06:49 PM


Yuketa

Neutral
 
Posts: 1539
#2781080
Give Award
You could practice writing similes and integrating idioms into some places, if preferred.
There was an exercise we used to do in Creative Writing where the teacher would put up a picture on the projector screen of a location, like a cabin in the woods, or a marketplace, and we would write out a scene while incorporating the five senses into it.
"The woods were a little musty, and Aril observed particles of dust as they floated down the citrine sunbeams, like little boats cascading in slow motion down a titanic waterfall. It was just cold enough to make the hairs on the back of his neck stand up, and dull whatever he could smell of the place, but there was still that faint scent of an unnatural... thing. Something ancient and rotting, and not quite chemical although he almost tasted ammonia in the assaulting concoction. It was a substance hidden within the magical pretense of the abandoned cottage. He felt the coin in his pocket, his good luck charm; it had been with him through the ages, and its faces were worn smooth by his fiddlings. With a couple circles of his thumb over its edge, he hoped it would see him through to the end of this situation, too."
I'd write more but I just woke up and am headed for work lol.
One other piece of advice I guess is, read literature that you like and would want to emulate in your own writing, dissect it, even. What makes this scene powerful/emotional/feel hazardous? Are the protag's goals being realistically hindered by this or that, and are the stakes high enough? Etcetera.
Good luck!

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