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 Existence
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Okay well I get it she is a vessel and vessel only girl t.t
 Existence
04:31:23 Exist / Kuskyn
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Testing my luck with Deity is making me fear her xD
 Urux
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I goofed. I should have used those breeding items on the SV Alb girl </3
 VioletEcho
03:31:24 Vi, Echo, Aria
AmyD yayy that's good ^^
 Amygdala
03:18:22 Amy/Anpmygdala
Ary
Yup
It's a bit better today so hopefully it will be good by monday

Silver
They give you a higher chance of a boost but it's not guaranteed
Some people use them all the time i just breed my wolves without items
 Silvers Clan
03:11:38 
Are elder berry worth using
 VioletEcho
03:10:35 Vi, Echo, Aria
Im so tempted to change my phone wallpaper to danny phantom XD :0


 VioletEcho
03:10:06 Vi, Echo, Aria
AmyD atleast you can rest now and get better<3
 Amygdala
03:04:02 Amy/Anpmygdala
Ary
Still sick but now atleast i have sick leave hehe
 Amygdala
03:02:48 Amy/Anpmygdala
Demon
Is your partner a light sleeper?
And i am sure they would understand a little bit of noise so you can sleep better
 VioletEcho
03:01:45 Vi, Echo, Aria
AmyD hey I'm doing okay thanks and how are you?
 Demon Mistress
03:01:17 The Scary Mod
@Amy
I do have some peppermint tea...but the other issue is making it is kinda loud and my partner is sleeping so I dont know, I'm torn
 Amygdala
02:59:08 Amy/Anpmygdala
I missed an oportuninty to call it anexietea lol
 Amygdala
02:58:20 Amy/Anpmygdala
Demon
Dang it ;-;
Anxiety it is i guess
(Joking)
I hope you manage to calm down a bit and get some more rest...1 hour is insane
 Demon Mistress
02:56:42 The Scary Mod
@Amy
Currently dont have any ^^'
 Amygdala
02:56:23 Amy/Anpmygdala
Hey ary
How are you
 Amygdala
02:55:58 Amy/Anpmygdala
Demon
Oof it's so scarry when something falls in the middle of the night
What about some chammomile tea?
It's supposed to have calming effects XD
 VioletEcho
02:54:57 Vi, Echo, Aria
Yayy AmyD
 Demon Mistress
02:50:35 The Scary Mod
@Amy
A sleep deprived demon here, I slept for like an hour, then my TV fell and woke me back up, now, no sleep anxiety
 Amygdala
02:48:41 Amy/Anpmygdala
Morning guys

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Forums > Socialize
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I dont wanna be a broke college student :)December 31, 2022 06:34 PM


Former Pack

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Posts: 0
#2846005
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Getting straight into it. I have this little scholarship essay, a looming due date, and nobody to look over it for me. Help?

Prompt: What are your education and Career Goals? How do you plan on impacting your community in the future?

Essay: Min- 250. Max-500. Current- 261

Revised: 258 words.

My name is []. I'm a senior at [] High School, and my goal, once I graduate, is to pursue an Associate Degree in Baking and Pastry Arts and a Bachelor's in Food and Beverage Management at [] & [] University. This will prepare me for owning my own business in the future. What made me desire a career in this field? My passion for baking, as well as the sheer joy I felt when seeing others enjoy the dishes I made The happiness that I was able to create using nothing but my hands and mediocre skills gave me a sense of fulfillment. I then knew that, unlike other hobbies I had tried, this was what I truly enjoyed and wished to spend time furthering my knowledge of. When I first had the thought of owning my own business, I didn't think of doing much with it. Before long, I began to think of all the good I could do for those in situations that I could have been in, had I not been so fortunate. My wish is to create a community filled with acceptance and warmth by using any business I create. What I wish to do is hire certain nonviolent criminals and those who are beginning to age out of the foster care system, therefore giving a second chance to those who need it. This scholarship would allow me to gain the skills necessary to not only survive but thrive in my chosen field, as well as use my experience to help others thrive.


Edited at December 31, 2022 08:21 PM by Flower Field
I dont wanna be a broke college student :)December 31, 2022 06:43 PM


Former Pack

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Posts: 0
#2846007
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It's good, but I feel like there are still some things you could improve
I dont wanna be a broke college student :)December 31, 2022 06:46 PM


Wilted

Darkseeker
 
Posts: 376
#2846008
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Heyo, I would replace a bit of your wording;
"while also" -> "in addition to",
"Before too long, however," -> "Not too long after".
Apologies if this was vague or didn't make sense, I'm a little tired hehe. There's a whole list somewhere, but I forgot what it's called.
However if your school has a career center or similar, I do recommend going there or asking a trusted teacher!
I dont wanna be a broke college student :)December 31, 2022 06:54 PM


Former Pack

Neutral
 
Posts: 0
#2846010
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It does help! Also, I wish I could ask a teacher to look it over but the due date is before winter break is over so most of my teachers aren't checking their email.

Wilted said:
Heyo, I would replace a bit of your wording;
"while also" -> "in addition to",
"Before too long, however," -> "Not too long after".
Apologies if this was vague or didn't make sense, I'm a little tired hehe. There's a whole list somewhere, but I forgot what it's called.
However if your school has a career center or similar, I do recommend going there or asking a trusted teacher!


I dont wanna be a broke college student :)December 31, 2022 07:08 PM


Former Pack

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Posts: 0
#2846016
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--

Edited at December 31, 2022 07:53 PM by Flower Field
I dont wanna be a broke college student :)December 31, 2022 07:20 PM


Wilted

Darkseeker
 
Posts: 376
#2846020
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Hmm, have you tried reading this out loud? There's a lot of commas/pauses. I wouldn't exactly try to compress everything into one sentence, as that can be a mouthful (brainful? I'm still tired).
Try splitting them up a bit?
I dont wanna be a broke college student :)December 31, 2022 08:30 PM


Former Pack

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Posts: 0
#2846032
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Try to change "What made me desire a career in this field? My passion for baking, as well as the sheer joy I felt when seeing others enjoy the dishes I made" to:
My passion for baking made me desire a career in this field, as well as the sheer joy I felt when seeing others enjoy the dishes I made.
I dont wanna be a broke college student :)December 31, 2022 08:33 PM


Former Pack

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Posts: 0
#2846033
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Be sure to add a period between 'made' and 'the'
My passion for baking, as well as the sheer joy I felt when seeing others enjoy the dishes I made The happiness that I was able to create using nothing but my hands and mediocre skills gave me a sense of fulfillment.
Should be
My passion for baking, as well as the sheer joy I felt when seeing others enjoy the dishes I made. The happiness that I was able to create using nothing but my hands and mediocre skills gave me a sense of fulfillment.
I dont wanna be a broke college student :)December 31, 2022 08:34 PM


Former Pack

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Posts: 0
#2846035
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I'm just pointing out minor things that need to be fixed for now
I dont wanna be a broke college student :)December 31, 2022 08:35 PM


Former Pack

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Posts: 0
#2846036
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Wow, kinda embarrassed I didn't notice I forgot a period lol
Also, I appreciate any and all help!

Edited at December 31, 2022 08:36 PM by Flower Field

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