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So I'm stuggling. As most of you don't know, my grandmother died. I loved her so very much. - I have a group chat with two boys (and myself), and I try and express how I am hurting, how I am struggling, and it gets disregarded. I've known these guys for a long time, most of my life. - I am always there for them, asking if they need to rant, giving them advice, doing my best so that they can be happy... - But apparently the moment I share ONE problem, all hell breaks loose. It really hurts me. They always try and out-do my pain, too. That angers me. - WE ALL HAVE DIFFERENT BURDENS TO FACE. ITS NOT ABOUT WHO'S PAIN IS GREATER THAN SOMEONE ELSES. - Why am I getting yelled at for my pain..? |
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some people treat life like a trauma olympics, i swear to god. maybe you can try sharing this with them? like, telling them that they really shouldn't be trying to turn your agony around and making the conversation be about their pain. sometimes people don't realize that they're fucking up unless you yeet the shit they're doing straight at their faces. communication always serves well most of the time--if all parties are willing to listen. if they don't get it, then you'll have to leave it be, honestly. it's a tough thing to move on from the fact that someone just doesn't get it, but you can't control what a person chooses to do and think, and you certainly can't fix everything, so if they continue to make your pain irrelevant despite all your attempts to tell them how much that is utter bullshit, then you really won't be able to do anything about it. just try it out, though. let them know how they're hurting you and see what happens? |
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The thing is, I did tell them this. I did. I yelled at them that it wasnt always about them. - I'm not gonna talk to them for a few days.. It gets hard though. I'm homeschooled, and I dont get any socialization.
lifeisnotUwU said:
some people treat life like a trauma olympics, i swear to god. maybe you can try sharing this with them? like, telling them that they really shouldn't be trying to turn your agony around and making the conversation be about their pain. sometimes people don't realize that they're fucking up unless you yeet the shit they're doing straight at their faces. communication always serves well most of the time--if all parties are willing to listen. if they don't get it, then you'll have to leave it be, honestly. it's a tough thing to move on from the fact that someone just doesn't get it, but you can't control what a person chooses to do and think, and you certainly can't fix everything, so if they continue to make your pain irrelevant despite all your attempts to tell them how much that is utter bullshit, then you really won't be able to do anything about it. just try it out, though. let them know how they're hurting you and see what happens?
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i take it since you're here, they didn't listen? yeah, like i said, some people are just too thick in the skull. nothing can get through to them. i learned this the hard way and i figured out a means to move on. it takes a while and hurts like hell, but if someone doesn't want to communicate and doesn't want to listen and just fails to understand, there's nothing you can do about it. i can relate to the whole homeschooled-so-no-socialization part; im homeschooled myself and have been virtually my whole life, and it gets lonely and makes you stick around in toxic relationships for the sake of not losing your mind. but sometimes you need to let go. you just have to let go.
FadingMemories said:
The thing is, I did tell them this. I did. I yelled at them that it wasnt always about them. - I'm not gonna talk to them for a few days.. It gets hard though. I'm homeschooled, and I dont get any socialization.
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Thank you, that is very helpful. lifeisnotUwU said:
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Spring 
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