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 Zeraphia
09:54:46 Space Pirate Captain
>.>

-Click-

I should doodle him... but I have no ideas--
 Zeraphia
09:53:30 Space Pirate Captain
Fei

Ooh that's true. You did find it!
 Feiella
09:52:42 Pack of Sharp Snap
Zera
At least I found what I was looking for in the end even if I walked past it several times
 Zeraphia
09:52:20 Space Pirate Captain
Never

Oooh that sounds like fun. Aside from the waiting part--
 Nevermore.
09:51:53 Never/Nev
Vah

I am having breakfast with a friend and run some errands. Then we'll have to wait until my roommate is done at work before heading home
 Zeraphia
09:50:36 Space Pirate Captain
Fei

Oh my goodness. That... yeah. I lose things all the time.
 Feiella
09:50:11 Pack of Sharp Snap
Zera
I failed to realize how many portfolios I have until I found one hidden among my books
 Zeraphia
09:48:16 Space Pirate Captain
Fei

Yay!
 Feiella
09:47:21 Pack of Sharp Snap
found the art ^^
 Zeraphia
09:46:59 Space Pirate Captain
Never

Oh man that's such an early morning.

But town sounds like fun! What are your plans there?
 Nevermore.
09:46:35 Never/Nev
Vah

Haha, poor fellas

I need to leave for town by 830, and that means that everyone needs to be fed before that so :"D
 Zeraphia
09:44:46 Space Pirate Captain
;-;

I accidentally clicked on ET's name--

I am blind--
 Malpha
09:42:59 Malpha/Mal/Algo
I wanna be so done with men right now T.T
 Zeraphia
09:41:33 Space Pirate Captain
Never
Nope. Nasty little boogers.

Oof an early morning?
 Nevermore.
09:40:33 Never/Nev
Vah

Awe, didn't appreciate you erasing all of their hard work?

A calm night with an early morning, my favorite combo
 Zeraphia
09:38:30 Space Pirate Captain
Never

Mostly. One of them kept trying to escape.

A calm night is great!
 Nevermore.
09:36:54 Never/Nev
Vah

That sounds like a nice day! The dogs behave for their baths?

It was good. Finally having a calm night
 Easnem
09:35:13 Eas
-WP Click-

This guy isn't too bad
 Zeraphia
09:33:45 Space Pirate Captain
Never

Not too bad. Did some errands, bathed dogs... not too bad.

Yours?
 Voxtexy
09:33:42 Jaybe or Jaybe not
Zeraphia,
I think I'm torn between Leon and my lad Jethro. Well.. maybe Vincent too. Honestly, this is hard lmaoo

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Chatbox
 Zeraphia
09:54:46 Space Pirate Captain
>.>

-Click-

I should doodle him... but I have no ideas--
 Zeraphia
09:53:30 Space Pirate Captain
Fei

Ooh that's true. You did find it!
 Feiella
09:52:42 Pack of Sharp Snap
Zera
At least I found what I was looking for in the end even if I walked past it several times
 Zeraphia
09:52:20 Space Pirate Captain
Never

Oooh that sounds like fun. Aside from the waiting part--
 Nevermore.
09:51:53 Never/Nev
Vah

I am having breakfast with a friend and run some errands. Then we'll have to wait until my roommate is done at work before heading home
 Zeraphia
09:50:36 Space Pirate Captain
Fei

Oh my goodness. That... yeah. I lose things all the time.
 Feiella
09:50:11 Pack of Sharp Snap
Zera
I failed to realize how many portfolios I have until I found one hidden among my books
 Zeraphia
09:48:16 Space Pirate Captain
Fei

Yay!
 Feiella
09:47:21 Pack of Sharp Snap
found the art ^^
 Zeraphia
09:46:59 Space Pirate Captain
Never

Oh man that's such an early morning.

But town sounds like fun! What are your plans there?
 Nevermore.
09:46:35 Never/Nev
Vah

Haha, poor fellas

I need to leave for town by 830, and that means that everyone needs to be fed before that so :"D
 Zeraphia
09:44:46 Space Pirate Captain
;-;

I accidentally clicked on ET's name--

I am blind--
 Malpha
09:42:59 Malpha/Mal/Algo
I wanna be so done with men right now T.T
 Zeraphia
09:41:33 Space Pirate Captain
Never
Nope. Nasty little boogers.

Oof an early morning?
 Nevermore.
09:40:33 Never/Nev
Vah

Awe, didn't appreciate you erasing all of their hard work?

A calm night with an early morning, my favorite combo
 Zeraphia
09:38:30 Space Pirate Captain
Never

Mostly. One of them kept trying to escape.

A calm night is great!
 Nevermore.
09:36:54 Never/Nev
Vah

That sounds like a nice day! The dogs behave for their baths?

It was good. Finally having a calm night
 Easnem
09:35:13 Eas
-WP Click-

This guy isn't too bad
 Zeraphia
09:33:45 Space Pirate Captain
Never

Not too bad. Did some errands, bathed dogs... not too bad.

Yours?
 Voxtexy
09:33:42 Jaybe or Jaybe not
Zeraphia,
I think I'm torn between Leon and my lad Jethro. Well.. maybe Vincent too. Honestly, this is hard lmaoo




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Forums > Socialize
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I need opinions/tips on my writingJune 22, 2022 08:42 PM


Firefox

Darkseeker
 
Posts: 3137
#2780784
Give Award
I crave validation, nah XD just kidding, although that is partly true. I am mostly looking for contrsuctive criticism on my writing, I see something wrong with it, I aim to get better.
So with that let me just link some examples and I would like it if y'all could comment some tips/criticism. (Compliments are okay also)
~~
Examples.
1. Raina's Story Wrote this today in my spare time-
3. took me four hours I need someone to proofread or something- help me out Raven's Story
~~
Let me know if The links don't work so I can fix them-
And note to the mods, I had no idea where to put this, if it's in the wrong sub forum please move for me, thank you.

Edited at June 23, 2022 01:19 AM by Firefox
I need opinions/tips on my writingJune 23, 2022 06:49 PM


Yuketa

Neutral
 
Posts: 1700
#2781080
Give Award
You could practice writing similes and integrating idioms into some places, if preferred.
There was an exercise we used to do in Creative Writing where the teacher would put up a picture on the projector screen of a location, like a cabin in the woods, or a marketplace, and we would write out a scene while incorporating the five senses into it.
"The woods were a little musty, and Aril observed particles of dust as they floated down the citrine sunbeams, like little boats cascading in slow motion down a titanic waterfall. It was just cold enough to make the hairs on the back of his neck stand up, and dull whatever he could smell of the place, but there was still that faint scent of an unnatural... thing. Something ancient and rotting, and not quite chemical although he almost tasted ammonia in the assaulting concoction. It was a substance hidden within the magical pretense of the abandoned cottage. He felt the coin in his pocket, his good luck charm; it had been with him through the ages, and its faces were worn smooth by his fiddlings. With a couple circles of his thumb over its edge, he hoped it would see him through to the end of this situation, too."
I'd write more but I just woke up and am headed for work lol.
One other piece of advice I guess is, read literature that you like and would want to emulate in your own writing, dissect it, even. What makes this scene powerful/emotional/feel hazardous? Are the protag's goals being realistically hindered by this or that, and are the stakes high enough? Etcetera.
Good luck!

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