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 Leo
10:29:59 Leo | Bear say rawr
Aura
5-3, gotta go real quick xD
 Howling stars
10:29:21 
Thank you guys so much, I tried to log into this game a couple times, the other tries failed, this worked!
 Quasar Hoarder
10:28:32 Quasar, QH
-WP Click-
 Quasar Hoarder
10:28:23 Quasar, QH
@cyber
when you do the quasar wings I will be putting them on her immediately -WP Click-
 Chat
10:25:56 
Howling
Hello welcome to the game ^^
 Cybertronion
10:25:53 Cyber / Onion
welcome to the game, Howling Stars :D
 Dire Wolf Haven
10:24:12 Dire, DWH
they are sooo pretty! I love how there are the glowing tattoo things :P
 Howling stars
10:24:08 
Hi chat! i'm a new player! nice to meet you all! (I can't rp yet, Just one more day!)
 Cybertronion
10:23:07 Cyber / Onion
Quasar wing concepts on Quasar, White, and Slate coats:

-Click-

-Click-

-Click-

and I did a Topaz concept just for fun, I was thinking of using that pelt on Lightshow but I might try for Tiger's Eye for her
-Click-
 Cybertronion
10:20:40 Cyber / Onion
*I'll just
 Cybertronion
10:20:26 Cyber / Onion
Ah, sorry. Rules said chat speak was discouraged but some was allowed like common things like lol.


I just try to avoid it entirely. Habit, sorry.
 Vennenum
10:18:21 Venn/Venne
Cybertronion - spell your words out please. Much appreciated.
 ~♥Nux♥~
10:18:16 You're just yellow
-WP Click-

My lady Cookie. Fingers crossed she gives me a chim. Or something.
 Cybertronion
10:16:56 Cyber / Onion
tbh just waiting for teh go-ahead from my co-sponsor now

if they like the pattern/glitter effects, we gonna get cosmic Quasar wings >:D
 Dire Wolf Haven
10:16:24 Dire, DWH
OMG my alt account is quasar hoarder and I would totally buy those!!!!!!
 Cybertronion
10:15:57 Cyber / Onion
you get teh gear back
 Cybertronion
10:15:50 Cyber / Onion
Eventually probably :3

TheCuteHuskyPack sponsored me to make the Dark Fallow which is why those got done next.

Right now I'm working on Quasar matchy, I have someone helping me sponsor those

Not sure which one i'll do next, either another sponsor request or I might make some new glowing tattoo stuff so I can put it on my fav wolf Lightshow xP
 Dire Wolf Haven
10:15:20 Dire, DWH
thank you!! im thinking about getting more gear for her
 Echo Eclipse
10:15:05 Echo | (They/She/He)
I can't remember, if a wolf dies do you get the gear back or not?
 Cybertronion
10:14:41 Cyber / Onion
-WP Click-

@Dire This lady is *so* pretty

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Chatbox
 Leo
10:29:59 Leo | Bear say rawr
Aura
5-3, gotta go real quick xD
 Howling stars
10:29:21 
Thank you guys so much, I tried to log into this game a couple times, the other tries failed, this worked!
 Quasar Hoarder
10:28:32 Quasar, QH
-WP Click-
 Quasar Hoarder
10:28:23 Quasar, QH
@cyber
when you do the quasar wings I will be putting them on her immediately -WP Click-
 Chat
10:25:56 
Howling
Hello welcome to the game ^^
 Cybertronion
10:25:53 Cyber / Onion
welcome to the game, Howling Stars :D
 Dire Wolf Haven
10:24:12 Dire, DWH
they are sooo pretty! I love how there are the glowing tattoo things :P
 Howling stars
10:24:08 
Hi chat! i'm a new player! nice to meet you all! (I can't rp yet, Just one more day!)
 Cybertronion
10:23:07 Cyber / Onion
Quasar wing concepts on Quasar, White, and Slate coats:

-Click-

-Click-

-Click-

and I did a Topaz concept just for fun, I was thinking of using that pelt on Lightshow but I might try for Tiger's Eye for her
-Click-
 Cybertronion
10:20:40 Cyber / Onion
*I'll just
 Cybertronion
10:20:26 Cyber / Onion
Ah, sorry. Rules said chat speak was discouraged but some was allowed like common things like lol.


I just try to avoid it entirely. Habit, sorry.
 Vennenum
10:18:21 Venn/Venne
Cybertronion - spell your words out please. Much appreciated.
 ~♥Nux♥~
10:18:16 You're just yellow
-WP Click-

My lady Cookie. Fingers crossed she gives me a chim. Or something.
 Cybertronion
10:16:56 Cyber / Onion
tbh just waiting for teh go-ahead from my co-sponsor now

if they like the pattern/glitter effects, we gonna get cosmic Quasar wings >:D
 Dire Wolf Haven
10:16:24 Dire, DWH
OMG my alt account is quasar hoarder and I would totally buy those!!!!!!
 Cybertronion
10:15:57 Cyber / Onion
you get teh gear back
 Cybertronion
10:15:50 Cyber / Onion
Eventually probably :3

TheCuteHuskyPack sponsored me to make the Dark Fallow which is why those got done next.

Right now I'm working on Quasar matchy, I have someone helping me sponsor those

Not sure which one i'll do next, either another sponsor request or I might make some new glowing tattoo stuff so I can put it on my fav wolf Lightshow xP
 Dire Wolf Haven
10:15:20 Dire, DWH
thank you!! im thinking about getting more gear for her
 Echo Eclipse
10:15:05 Echo | (They/She/He)
I can't remember, if a wolf dies do you get the gear back or not?
 Cybertronion
10:14:41 Cyber / Onion
-WP Click-

@Dire This lady is *so* pretty




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Forums > Socialize
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I need opinions/tips on my writingJune 22, 2022 08:42 PM


Firefox

Darkseeker
 
Posts: 3137
#2780784
Give Award
I crave validation, nah XD just kidding, although that is partly true. I am mostly looking for contrsuctive criticism on my writing, I see something wrong with it, I aim to get better.
So with that let me just link some examples and I would like it if y'all could comment some tips/criticism. (Compliments are okay also)
~~
Examples.
1. Raina's Story Wrote this today in my spare time-
3. took me four hours I need someone to proofread or something- help me out Raven's Story
~~
Let me know if The links don't work so I can fix them-
And note to the mods, I had no idea where to put this, if it's in the wrong sub forum please move for me, thank you.

Edited at June 23, 2022 01:19 AM by Firefox
I need opinions/tips on my writingJune 23, 2022 06:49 PM


Yuketa

Neutral
 
Posts: 1700
#2781080
Give Award
You could practice writing similes and integrating idioms into some places, if preferred.
There was an exercise we used to do in Creative Writing where the teacher would put up a picture on the projector screen of a location, like a cabin in the woods, or a marketplace, and we would write out a scene while incorporating the five senses into it.
"The woods were a little musty, and Aril observed particles of dust as they floated down the citrine sunbeams, like little boats cascading in slow motion down a titanic waterfall. It was just cold enough to make the hairs on the back of his neck stand up, and dull whatever he could smell of the place, but there was still that faint scent of an unnatural... thing. Something ancient and rotting, and not quite chemical although he almost tasted ammonia in the assaulting concoction. It was a substance hidden within the magical pretense of the abandoned cottage. He felt the coin in his pocket, his good luck charm; it had been with him through the ages, and its faces were worn smooth by his fiddlings. With a couple circles of his thumb over its edge, he hoped it would see him through to the end of this situation, too."
I'd write more but I just woke up and am headed for work lol.
One other piece of advice I guess is, read literature that you like and would want to emulate in your own writing, dissect it, even. What makes this scene powerful/emotional/feel hazardous? Are the protag's goals being realistically hindered by this or that, and are the stakes high enough? Etcetera.
Good luck!

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