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Chatbox
 Archen
07:02:10 
What happened to the other?
 Ámor
07:00:45 Lil' Pumpkin
@Archen
hes the second friend in the last two weeks to get into a crash
 Archen
06:59:41 
SHEESH! Thats bad! Hope your friend gets better soon
 Ámor
06:58:39 Lil' Pumpkin
@Archen
black ice sent him into a rail guard
 Archen
06:55:48 
Ámor
I feel bad…
What happened?
 Ámor
06:54:56 Lil' Pumpkin
Well.. one of my frineds got into a crash yesterday.. and i have to go drive soon..
 Archen
06:54:05 
Hoi chat
 CriesInTheNight
06:26:09 Sorrowful Howls
@Demon :))
 arlo
06:24:05 fruck frontman
good mornin chat :)
 Demon Mistress
06:22:56 The Scary Mod
I have to get 57 stones a day to afford all the Gear + Dyes +Background
 CriesInTheNight
06:20:43 Sorrowful Howls
xd and im hoping people like the gear/decor so that I can open my event shop again
 Demon Mistress
06:19:20 The Scary Mod
I love the gear for this months event ugh, I gotta get on my explore game
 BJake
06:15:36 Don't call me BJ.
eeeehhhh i have so much work to do, i don't want to
 Megan :)
05:58:04 southern lil' miss
Looking for a RP partner; must be able to type 500+ words. Proper grammer and spelling please; Pm me. ^^'
 Demon Mistress
05:57:06 The Scary Mod
@Cries
Eh, probably about to crash if I'm honest
 CriesInTheNight
05:54:59 Sorrowful Howls
@demon heyo, god i hate retraing wolves. usually its fine but i like having a dream team ready, now i got nothing

how are you
 Demon Mistress
05:48:56 The Scary Mod
@Cries , Ven
Heya!
 Megan :)
05:48:28 southern lil' miss
Missed my five years here o.e oup
 Megan :)
05:46:17 southern lil' miss
Hey.
 CriesInTheNight
05:40:34 Sorrowful Howls
@chat congrats^^

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Chatbox
 Archen
07:02:10 
What happened to the other?
 Ámor
07:00:45 Lil' Pumpkin
@Archen
hes the second friend in the last two weeks to get into a crash
 Archen
06:59:41 
SHEESH! Thats bad! Hope your friend gets better soon
 Ámor
06:58:39 Lil' Pumpkin
@Archen
black ice sent him into a rail guard
 Archen
06:55:48 
Ámor
I feel bad…
What happened?
 Ámor
06:54:56 Lil' Pumpkin
Well.. one of my frineds got into a crash yesterday.. and i have to go drive soon..
 Archen
06:54:05 
Hoi chat
 CriesInTheNight
06:26:09 Sorrowful Howls
@Demon :))
 arlo
06:24:05 fruck frontman
good mornin chat :)
 Demon Mistress
06:22:56 The Scary Mod
I have to get 57 stones a day to afford all the Gear + Dyes +Background
 CriesInTheNight
06:20:43 Sorrowful Howls
xd and im hoping people like the gear/decor so that I can open my event shop again
 Demon Mistress
06:19:20 The Scary Mod
I love the gear for this months event ugh, I gotta get on my explore game
 BJake
06:15:36 Don't call me BJ.
eeeehhhh i have so much work to do, i don't want to
 Megan :)
05:58:04 southern lil' miss
Looking for a RP partner; must be able to type 500+ words. Proper grammer and spelling please; Pm me. ^^'
 Demon Mistress
05:57:06 The Scary Mod
@Cries
Eh, probably about to crash if I'm honest
 CriesInTheNight
05:54:59 Sorrowful Howls
@demon heyo, god i hate retraing wolves. usually its fine but i like having a dream team ready, now i got nothing

how are you
 Demon Mistress
05:48:56 The Scary Mod
@Cries , Ven
Heya!
 Megan :)
05:48:28 southern lil' miss
Missed my five years here o.e oup
 Megan :)
05:46:17 southern lil' miss
Hey.
 CriesInTheNight
05:40:34 Sorrowful Howls
@chat congrats^^




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Forums > Socialize
   1 

I need opinions/tips on my writingJune 22, 2022 08:42 PM


Firefox

Darkseeker
 
Posts: 3137
#2780784
Give Award
I crave validation, nah XD just kidding, although that is partly true. I am mostly looking for contrsuctive criticism on my writing, I see something wrong with it, I aim to get better.
So with that let me just link some examples and I would like it if y'all could comment some tips/criticism. (Compliments are okay also)
~~
Examples.
1. Raina's Story Wrote this today in my spare time-
3. took me four hours I need someone to proofread or something- help me out Raven's Story
~~
Let me know if The links don't work so I can fix them-
And note to the mods, I had no idea where to put this, if it's in the wrong sub forum please move for me, thank you.

Edited at June 23, 2022 01:19 AM by Firefox
I need opinions/tips on my writingJune 23, 2022 06:49 PM


Yuketa

Neutral
 
Posts: 1700
#2781080
Give Award
You could practice writing similes and integrating idioms into some places, if preferred.
There was an exercise we used to do in Creative Writing where the teacher would put up a picture on the projector screen of a location, like a cabin in the woods, or a marketplace, and we would write out a scene while incorporating the five senses into it.
"The woods were a little musty, and Aril observed particles of dust as they floated down the citrine sunbeams, like little boats cascading in slow motion down a titanic waterfall. It was just cold enough to make the hairs on the back of his neck stand up, and dull whatever he could smell of the place, but there was still that faint scent of an unnatural... thing. Something ancient and rotting, and not quite chemical although he almost tasted ammonia in the assaulting concoction. It was a substance hidden within the magical pretense of the abandoned cottage. He felt the coin in his pocket, his good luck charm; it had been with him through the ages, and its faces were worn smooth by his fiddlings. With a couple circles of his thumb over its edge, he hoped it would see him through to the end of this situation, too."
I'd write more but I just woke up and am headed for work lol.
One other piece of advice I guess is, read literature that you like and would want to emulate in your own writing, dissect it, even. What makes this scene powerful/emotional/feel hazardous? Are the protag's goals being realistically hindered by this or that, and are the stakes high enough? Etcetera.
Good luck!

Forums > Socialize
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