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 Lackadaisy
10:59:15 Stray, LT | H/H
Vah,

Outside? In this?

To be fair I don't know where you are but to give you a preference, we don't have to work for the next 2 days because of wind chill. It has to be extremely bad weather for them to even consider that, and for the next two days? Before the wind chill even comes? It's crazy

I hope you're safe while driving, don't be an idiot and let animals destroy your car like my lucky streak recently

Check your brakes for me <3
 Eternity
10:57:31 ET
Guys when I tell you I've just bought the best notebook ever, I swear-
-Click-

Cannot wait for this to be delivered
 Zeraphia
10:56:04 Space Pirate Captain
Stray

Cold as well. I'm waiting for the tech person to send me stuff for work tomorrow. ;-;

Also dreading having to go outside and drive to the GI doc.
 Zeraphia
10:54:50 Space Pirate Captain
Graves

Ahh understandable.
 Lackadaisy
10:54:34 Stray, LT | H/H
Vah,

Cold, still. You?
 Night Shade
10:54:33 Graves | Chaos
I'm going to poof for a bit, get dressed, and hopefully have the motivation to start cleaning house
 Night Shade
10:53:27 Graves | Chaos
Vah
Tired and trying to figure out what to do :)
 Zeraphia
10:51:13 Space Pirate Captain
How are y'all?
 SACRIFICE
10:50:28 Ecifircas
Good morninggg. :]
 Lackadaisy
10:50:21 Stray, LT | H/H
Vah, Graves,

Morning.
 Zeraphia
10:49:50 Space Pirate Captain
Good morning!
 Night Shade
10:49:21 Graves | Chaos
Morning chat
 SACRIFICE
10:48:03 Ecifircas
I love melatonin. I love feeling like someone is gently thumping my head with a rubber mallet for the first hour that I'm awake a little less. Bhh.
 Lackadaisy
10:47:22 Stray, LT | H/H
That is insane. I don't have to go back on duty until Thursday -
 MLadySkylar
10:34:46 P'Sky
ET
Im going to blame being sick xD on this confused brain xD
 Eternity
10:32:50 ET
Confused all of us LMAO
 MLadySkylar
10:32:32 P'Sky
That's my mistake, I was wrong
 Nevermore.
10:27:50 Never/Nev
I thought you could only send the apples?
 Eternity
10:26:55 ET
Wait, you do-?
 MLadySkylar
10:18:10 P'Sky
You have the option to send both.
Mush for apples, apples for mush ;3

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 Lackadaisy
10:59:15 Stray, LT | H/H
Vah,

Outside? In this?

To be fair I don't know where you are but to give you a preference, we don't have to work for the next 2 days because of wind chill. It has to be extremely bad weather for them to even consider that, and for the next two days? Before the wind chill even comes? It's crazy

I hope you're safe while driving, don't be an idiot and let animals destroy your car like my lucky streak recently

Check your brakes for me <3
 Eternity
10:57:31 ET
Guys when I tell you I've just bought the best notebook ever, I swear-
-Click-

Cannot wait for this to be delivered
 Zeraphia
10:56:04 Space Pirate Captain
Stray

Cold as well. I'm waiting for the tech person to send me stuff for work tomorrow. ;-;

Also dreading having to go outside and drive to the GI doc.
 Zeraphia
10:54:50 Space Pirate Captain
Graves

Ahh understandable.
 Lackadaisy
10:54:34 Stray, LT | H/H
Vah,

Cold, still. You?
 Night Shade
10:54:33 Graves | Chaos
I'm going to poof for a bit, get dressed, and hopefully have the motivation to start cleaning house
 Night Shade
10:53:27 Graves | Chaos
Vah
Tired and trying to figure out what to do :)
 Zeraphia
10:51:13 Space Pirate Captain
How are y'all?
 SACRIFICE
10:50:28 Ecifircas
Good morninggg. :]
 Lackadaisy
10:50:21 Stray, LT | H/H
Vah, Graves,

Morning.
 Zeraphia
10:49:50 Space Pirate Captain
Good morning!
 Night Shade
10:49:21 Graves | Chaos
Morning chat
 SACRIFICE
10:48:03 Ecifircas
I love melatonin. I love feeling like someone is gently thumping my head with a rubber mallet for the first hour that I'm awake a little less. Bhh.
 Lackadaisy
10:47:22 Stray, LT | H/H
That is insane. I don't have to go back on duty until Thursday -
 MLadySkylar
10:34:46 P'Sky
ET
Im going to blame being sick xD on this confused brain xD
 Eternity
10:32:50 ET
Confused all of us LMAO
 MLadySkylar
10:32:32 P'Sky
That's my mistake, I was wrong
 Nevermore.
10:27:50 Never/Nev
I thought you could only send the apples?
 Eternity
10:26:55 ET
Wait, you do-?
 MLadySkylar
10:18:10 P'Sky
You have the option to send both.
Mush for apples, apples for mush ;3




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Forums > Socialize
   1    2 

I dont wanna be a broke college student :)December 31, 2022 06:34 PM


Former Pack

Neutral
 
Posts: 0
#2846005
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Getting straight into it. I have this little scholarship essay, a looming due date, and nobody to look over it for me. Help?

Prompt: What are your education and Career Goals? How do you plan on impacting your community in the future?

Essay: Min- 250. Max-500. Current- 261

Revised: 258 words.

My name is []. I'm a senior at [] High School, and my goal, once I graduate, is to pursue an Associate Degree in Baking and Pastry Arts and a Bachelor's in Food and Beverage Management at [] & [] University. This will prepare me for owning my own business in the future. What made me desire a career in this field? My passion for baking, as well as the sheer joy I felt when seeing others enjoy the dishes I made The happiness that I was able to create using nothing but my hands and mediocre skills gave me a sense of fulfillment. I then knew that, unlike other hobbies I had tried, this was what I truly enjoyed and wished to spend time furthering my knowledge of. When I first had the thought of owning my own business, I didn't think of doing much with it. Before long, I began to think of all the good I could do for those in situations that I could have been in, had I not been so fortunate. My wish is to create a community filled with acceptance and warmth by using any business I create. What I wish to do is hire certain nonviolent criminals and those who are beginning to age out of the foster care system, therefore giving a second chance to those who need it. This scholarship would allow me to gain the skills necessary to not only survive but thrive in my chosen field, as well as use my experience to help others thrive.


Edited at December 31, 2022 08:21 PM by Flower Field
I dont wanna be a broke college student :)December 31, 2022 06:43 PM


Former Pack

Neutral
 
Posts: 0
#2846007
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It's good, but I feel like there are still some things you could improve
I dont wanna be a broke college student :)December 31, 2022 06:46 PM


Wilted

Darkseeker
 
Posts: 376
#2846008
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Heyo, I would replace a bit of your wording;
"while also" -> "in addition to",
"Before too long, however," -> "Not too long after".
Apologies if this was vague or didn't make sense, I'm a little tired hehe. There's a whole list somewhere, but I forgot what it's called.
However if your school has a career center or similar, I do recommend going there or asking a trusted teacher!
I dont wanna be a broke college student :)December 31, 2022 06:54 PM


Former Pack

Neutral
 
Posts: 0
#2846010
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It does help! Also, I wish I could ask a teacher to look it over but the due date is before winter break is over so most of my teachers aren't checking their email.

Wilted said:
Heyo, I would replace a bit of your wording;
"while also" -> "in addition to",
"Before too long, however," -> "Not too long after".
Apologies if this was vague or didn't make sense, I'm a little tired hehe. There's a whole list somewhere, but I forgot what it's called.
However if your school has a career center or similar, I do recommend going there or asking a trusted teacher!


I dont wanna be a broke college student :)December 31, 2022 07:08 PM


Former Pack

Neutral
 
Posts: 0
#2846016
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--

Edited at December 31, 2022 07:53 PM by Flower Field
I dont wanna be a broke college student :)December 31, 2022 07:20 PM


Wilted

Darkseeker
 
Posts: 376
#2846020
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Hmm, have you tried reading this out loud? There's a lot of commas/pauses. I wouldn't exactly try to compress everything into one sentence, as that can be a mouthful (brainful? I'm still tired).
Try splitting them up a bit?
I dont wanna be a broke college student :)December 31, 2022 08:30 PM


Former Pack

Neutral
 
Posts: 0
#2846032
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Try to change "What made me desire a career in this field? My passion for baking, as well as the sheer joy I felt when seeing others enjoy the dishes I made" to:
My passion for baking made me desire a career in this field, as well as the sheer joy I felt when seeing others enjoy the dishes I made.
I dont wanna be a broke college student :)December 31, 2022 08:33 PM


Former Pack

Neutral
 
Posts: 0
#2846033
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Be sure to add a period between 'made' and 'the'
My passion for baking, as well as the sheer joy I felt when seeing others enjoy the dishes I made The happiness that I was able to create using nothing but my hands and mediocre skills gave me a sense of fulfillment.
Should be
My passion for baking, as well as the sheer joy I felt when seeing others enjoy the dishes I made. The happiness that I was able to create using nothing but my hands and mediocre skills gave me a sense of fulfillment.
I dont wanna be a broke college student :)December 31, 2022 08:34 PM


Former Pack

Neutral
 
Posts: 0
#2846035
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I'm just pointing out minor things that need to be fixed for now
I dont wanna be a broke college student :)December 31, 2022 08:35 PM


Former Pack

Neutral
 
Posts: 0
#2846036
Give Award
Wow, kinda embarrassed I didn't notice I forgot a period lol
Also, I appreciate any and all help!

Edited at December 31, 2022 08:36 PM by Flower Field

Forums > Socialize
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