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 Zeraphia
03:50:48 Space Pirate Captain
Katy

Ooh that's amazing
 distant-lands
03:49:55 katy | beetle
-WP Click-
there, got her gear done ^^
 Forest Dwelling
03:48:23 I am on Wolflocke ok
@Loki

Shenzi
 The Avengers
03:46:49 Loki, Variant
Hey chat! What should I name this girly from wolf party?

-WP Click-
 Starlight Serpent
03:45:04 Star Snek | She/her
Sam
My wolves are getting up there in age, so I suppose I should expect it too ^^'
 SammytheRaccoon
03:43:25 Sam/Samuel/Racc
Star Snek

im sad about it, but I expected it because she was super old. at least I have one of her pups
 Starlight Serpent
03:40:55 Star Snek | She/her
Sam
That sucks, I'm sorry :(
 SammytheRaccoon
03:40:47 Sam/Samuel/Racc
Dolly 💔
 SammytheRaccoon
03:40:26 Sam/Samuel/Racc
my wolf passed away :(
 Starlight Serpent
03:36:25 Star Snek | She/her
Lunar
I like it!
 Lunar Moons
03:35:14 Lunar is... ehhhhh
Desire

I think she looks sick as hell with these:

-WP Click-
 Queen Elsa
03:33:08 Snowflake, Queen
Jack- lol snowballs coming your way darlin
 Kháos
03:32:20 
Please throw all the snowballs you can, Snowball.
 Kháos
03:32:01 
How long it takes for me to reply. </3 You can tell I'm sleepy.
 Desire of The Hills
03:31:56 Hills / Desire
And Stardust oh my lord
 Desire of The Hills
03:30:09 Hills / Desire
Oooh Winter Breath looks pretty good on Scotty with the fog too
 distant-lands
03:29:09 katy | beetle
-WP Click-
well that's disappointing :>
 Queen Elsa
03:27:11 Snowflake, Queen
Jack- ill toss snowballs at you lol
 Lunar Moons
03:26:20 Lunar is... ehhhhh
Khaos

I got you^^ *dumps water*
 Desire of The Hills
03:25:08 Hills / Desire
@Star

It's good, I was looking for gear too lol. Both of those are custom though sigh

@Lunar

Ooo good idea I like that

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Chatbox
 Zeraphia
03:50:48 Space Pirate Captain
Katy

Ooh that's amazing
 distant-lands
03:49:55 katy | beetle
-WP Click-
there, got her gear done ^^
 Forest Dwelling
03:48:23 I am on Wolflocke ok
@Loki

Shenzi
 The Avengers
03:46:49 Loki, Variant
Hey chat! What should I name this girly from wolf party?

-WP Click-
 Starlight Serpent
03:45:04 Star Snek | She/her
Sam
My wolves are getting up there in age, so I suppose I should expect it too ^^'
 SammytheRaccoon
03:43:25 Sam/Samuel/Racc
Star Snek

im sad about it, but I expected it because she was super old. at least I have one of her pups
 Starlight Serpent
03:40:55 Star Snek | She/her
Sam
That sucks, I'm sorry :(
 SammytheRaccoon
03:40:47 Sam/Samuel/Racc
Dolly 💔
 SammytheRaccoon
03:40:26 Sam/Samuel/Racc
my wolf passed away :(
 Starlight Serpent
03:36:25 Star Snek | She/her
Lunar
I like it!
 Lunar Moons
03:35:14 Lunar is... ehhhhh
Desire

I think she looks sick as hell with these:

-WP Click-
 Queen Elsa
03:33:08 Snowflake, Queen
Jack- lol snowballs coming your way darlin
 Kháos
03:32:20 
Please throw all the snowballs you can, Snowball.
 Kháos
03:32:01 
How long it takes for me to reply. </3 You can tell I'm sleepy.
 Desire of The Hills
03:31:56 Hills / Desire
And Stardust oh my lord
 Desire of The Hills
03:30:09 Hills / Desire
Oooh Winter Breath looks pretty good on Scotty with the fog too
 distant-lands
03:29:09 katy | beetle
-WP Click-
well that's disappointing :>
 Queen Elsa
03:27:11 Snowflake, Queen
Jack- ill toss snowballs at you lol
 Lunar Moons
03:26:20 Lunar is... ehhhhh
Khaos

I got you^^ *dumps water*
 Desire of The Hills
03:25:08 Hills / Desire
@Star

It's good, I was looking for gear too lol. Both of those are custom though sigh

@Lunar

Ooo good idea I like that




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Forums > Socialize
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I need opinions/tips on my writingJune 22, 2022 08:42 PM


Firefox

Darkseeker
 
Posts: 3137
#2780784
Give Award
I crave validation, nah XD just kidding, although that is partly true. I am mostly looking for contrsuctive criticism on my writing, I see something wrong with it, I aim to get better.
So with that let me just link some examples and I would like it if y'all could comment some tips/criticism. (Compliments are okay also)
~~
Examples.
1. Raina's Story Wrote this today in my spare time-
3. took me four hours I need someone to proofread or something- help me out Raven's Story
~~
Let me know if The links don't work so I can fix them-
And note to the mods, I had no idea where to put this, if it's in the wrong sub forum please move for me, thank you.

Edited at June 23, 2022 01:19 AM by Firefox
I need opinions/tips on my writingJune 23, 2022 06:49 PM


Yuketa

Neutral
 
Posts: 1700
#2781080
Give Award
You could practice writing similes and integrating idioms into some places, if preferred.
There was an exercise we used to do in Creative Writing where the teacher would put up a picture on the projector screen of a location, like a cabin in the woods, or a marketplace, and we would write out a scene while incorporating the five senses into it.
"The woods were a little musty, and Aril observed particles of dust as they floated down the citrine sunbeams, like little boats cascading in slow motion down a titanic waterfall. It was just cold enough to make the hairs on the back of his neck stand up, and dull whatever he could smell of the place, but there was still that faint scent of an unnatural... thing. Something ancient and rotting, and not quite chemical although he almost tasted ammonia in the assaulting concoction. It was a substance hidden within the magical pretense of the abandoned cottage. He felt the coin in his pocket, his good luck charm; it had been with him through the ages, and its faces were worn smooth by his fiddlings. With a couple circles of his thumb over its edge, he hoped it would see him through to the end of this situation, too."
I'd write more but I just woke up and am headed for work lol.
One other piece of advice I guess is, read literature that you like and would want to emulate in your own writing, dissect it, even. What makes this scene powerful/emotional/feel hazardous? Are the protag's goals being realistically hindered by this or that, and are the stakes high enough? Etcetera.
Good luck!

Forums > Socialize
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