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 Ámor
01:57:37 Lil' Pumpkin
im gonna go poof and spend time with my bf bye guyss
 Caeruleum
01:57:31 Cae, Blue
jp to jyp right there
 Amygdala
01:56:57 Amy/Anpmygdala
Mommae gives the Alpha a cheeky grin

Lol
 Existence
01:55:02 Exist / Kuskyn
-WP Click-
I will gender change you out of spite turd c.c
 Anakin
01:54:44 Sith Happens
-WP Click-

Still amazed with her, probably my best rarity pup ever
 SammytheRaccoon
01:53:48 Sam/Samuel/Racc
it feels nice knowing I can use 100 mush and I wont go bankrupt
 Ámor
01:53:43 Lil' Pumpkin
@Cae
mine are either pretty or down right ugly, remember the DH+blind i gave stray and stray had to put a dye on her to make her presentable?
 Caeruleum
01:53:24 Cae, Blue
pretty *^*
 Anakin
01:52:58 Sith Happens
-WP Click-

Look at this guy
 Caeruleum
01:52:30 Cae, Blue
amor, regular uglies dont even get shared. super special extra uglies do XD

amy, ah, yes, mr gross man
 Amygdala
01:51:08 Amy/Anpmygdala
Cae
Lmao XD
Also the pup whose dreams you crushed is one of more popular studs lol
No more dream the beggining of trigger warning for cae
 Ámor
01:50:50 Lil' Pumpkin
@Cae
shes very pretty, remember the horrifying pups i breed
 Caeruleum
01:49:46 Cae, Blue
sounds like a you problem
 Amygdala
01:49:18 Amy/Anpmygdala
Cae
Nah don't like her
 Caeruleum
01:47:24 Cae, Blue
-WP Click-
pretty *^*
 Ámor
01:46:42 Lil' Pumpkin
my chim obsession keeps getting fed *^*
 Existence
01:32:06 Exist / Kuskyn
I may or may not have gotten a tiny bit distracted while making my headless wolf have a head xD
-Click-
Now my base is umm edgy I guess xD
 Luna💖
01:30:41 Silver (She/her)
-WP Click-
little gift for whoever wants it
 STS
01:29:57 TS, Speckles
I am unable to explore again rip ;;
 VioletEcho
01:24:22 Is a dinosaur rawr
AmyD at this point do you really need to ask? ;))
Always<33

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Chatbox
 Ámor
01:57:37 Lil' Pumpkin
im gonna go poof and spend time with my bf bye guyss
 Caeruleum
01:57:31 Cae, Blue
jp to jyp right there
 Amygdala
01:56:57 Amy/Anpmygdala
Mommae gives the Alpha a cheeky grin

Lol
 Existence
01:55:02 Exist / Kuskyn
-WP Click-
I will gender change you out of spite turd c.c
 Anakin
01:54:44 Sith Happens
-WP Click-

Still amazed with her, probably my best rarity pup ever
 SammytheRaccoon
01:53:48 Sam/Samuel/Racc
it feels nice knowing I can use 100 mush and I wont go bankrupt
 Ámor
01:53:43 Lil' Pumpkin
@Cae
mine are either pretty or down right ugly, remember the DH+blind i gave stray and stray had to put a dye on her to make her presentable?
 Caeruleum
01:53:24 Cae, Blue
pretty *^*
 Anakin
01:52:58 Sith Happens
-WP Click-

Look at this guy
 Caeruleum
01:52:30 Cae, Blue
amor, regular uglies dont even get shared. super special extra uglies do XD

amy, ah, yes, mr gross man
 Amygdala
01:51:08 Amy/Anpmygdala
Cae
Lmao XD
Also the pup whose dreams you crushed is one of more popular studs lol
No more dream the beggining of trigger warning for cae
 Ámor
01:50:50 Lil' Pumpkin
@Cae
shes very pretty, remember the horrifying pups i breed
 Caeruleum
01:49:46 Cae, Blue
sounds like a you problem
 Amygdala
01:49:18 Amy/Anpmygdala
Cae
Nah don't like her
 Caeruleum
01:47:24 Cae, Blue
-WP Click-
pretty *^*
 Ámor
01:46:42 Lil' Pumpkin
my chim obsession keeps getting fed *^*
 Existence
01:32:06 Exist / Kuskyn
I may or may not have gotten a tiny bit distracted while making my headless wolf have a head xD
-Click-
Now my base is umm edgy I guess xD
 Luna💖
01:30:41 Silver (She/her)
-WP Click-
little gift for whoever wants it
 STS
01:29:57 TS, Speckles
I am unable to explore again rip ;;
 VioletEcho
01:24:22 Is a dinosaur rawr
AmyD at this point do you really need to ask? ;))
Always<33




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Forums > Socialize
   1    2 

I dont wanna be a broke college student :)December 31, 2022 06:34 PM


Former Pack

Neutral
 
Posts: 0
#2846005
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Getting straight into it. I have this little scholarship essay, a looming due date, and nobody to look over it for me. Help?

Prompt: What are your education and Career Goals? How do you plan on impacting your community in the future?

Essay: Min- 250. Max-500. Current- 261

Revised: 258 words.

My name is []. I'm a senior at [] High School, and my goal, once I graduate, is to pursue an Associate Degree in Baking and Pastry Arts and a Bachelor's in Food and Beverage Management at [] & [] University. This will prepare me for owning my own business in the future. What made me desire a career in this field? My passion for baking, as well as the sheer joy I felt when seeing others enjoy the dishes I made The happiness that I was able to create using nothing but my hands and mediocre skills gave me a sense of fulfillment. I then knew that, unlike other hobbies I had tried, this was what I truly enjoyed and wished to spend time furthering my knowledge of. When I first had the thought of owning my own business, I didn't think of doing much with it. Before long, I began to think of all the good I could do for those in situations that I could have been in, had I not been so fortunate. My wish is to create a community filled with acceptance and warmth by using any business I create. What I wish to do is hire certain nonviolent criminals and those who are beginning to age out of the foster care system, therefore giving a second chance to those who need it. This scholarship would allow me to gain the skills necessary to not only survive but thrive in my chosen field, as well as use my experience to help others thrive.


Edited at December 31, 2022 08:21 PM by Flower Field
I dont wanna be a broke college student :)December 31, 2022 06:43 PM


Former Pack

Neutral
 
Posts: 0
#2846007
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It's good, but I feel like there are still some things you could improve
I dont wanna be a broke college student :)December 31, 2022 06:46 PM


Wilted

Darkseeker
 
Posts: 376
#2846008
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Heyo, I would replace a bit of your wording;
"while also" -> "in addition to",
"Before too long, however," -> "Not too long after".
Apologies if this was vague or didn't make sense, I'm a little tired hehe. There's a whole list somewhere, but I forgot what it's called.
However if your school has a career center or similar, I do recommend going there or asking a trusted teacher!
I dont wanna be a broke college student :)December 31, 2022 06:54 PM


Former Pack

Neutral
 
Posts: 0
#2846010
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It does help! Also, I wish I could ask a teacher to look it over but the due date is before winter break is over so most of my teachers aren't checking their email.

Wilted said:
Heyo, I would replace a bit of your wording;
"while also" -> "in addition to",
"Before too long, however," -> "Not too long after".
Apologies if this was vague or didn't make sense, I'm a little tired hehe. There's a whole list somewhere, but I forgot what it's called.
However if your school has a career center or similar, I do recommend going there or asking a trusted teacher!


I dont wanna be a broke college student :)December 31, 2022 07:08 PM


Former Pack

Neutral
 
Posts: 0
#2846016
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--

Edited at December 31, 2022 07:53 PM by Flower Field
I dont wanna be a broke college student :)December 31, 2022 07:20 PM


Wilted

Darkseeker
 
Posts: 376
#2846020
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Hmm, have you tried reading this out loud? There's a lot of commas/pauses. I wouldn't exactly try to compress everything into one sentence, as that can be a mouthful (brainful? I'm still tired).
Try splitting them up a bit?
I dont wanna be a broke college student :)December 31, 2022 08:30 PM


Former Pack

Neutral
 
Posts: 0
#2846032
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Try to change "What made me desire a career in this field? My passion for baking, as well as the sheer joy I felt when seeing others enjoy the dishes I made" to:
My passion for baking made me desire a career in this field, as well as the sheer joy I felt when seeing others enjoy the dishes I made.
I dont wanna be a broke college student :)December 31, 2022 08:33 PM


Former Pack

Neutral
 
Posts: 0
#2846033
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Be sure to add a period between 'made' and 'the'
My passion for baking, as well as the sheer joy I felt when seeing others enjoy the dishes I made The happiness that I was able to create using nothing but my hands and mediocre skills gave me a sense of fulfillment.
Should be
My passion for baking, as well as the sheer joy I felt when seeing others enjoy the dishes I made. The happiness that I was able to create using nothing but my hands and mediocre skills gave me a sense of fulfillment.
I dont wanna be a broke college student :)December 31, 2022 08:34 PM


Former Pack

Neutral
 
Posts: 0
#2846035
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I'm just pointing out minor things that need to be fixed for now
I dont wanna be a broke college student :)December 31, 2022 08:35 PM


Former Pack

Neutral
 
Posts: 0
#2846036
Give Award
Wow, kinda embarrassed I didn't notice I forgot a period lol
Also, I appreciate any and all help!

Edited at December 31, 2022 08:36 PM by Flower Field

Forums > Socialize
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