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 Animus Vox
05:08:01 
BJake
Would be a valid crash out with all those items
 Eternity
05:07:43 ET
Animus
My apologies </3

Canine
Oh yeah? :0 why's that?
 BJake
05:07:15 Don't call me BJ.
-WP Click-
About to pop her, if I don't get one good pup I'm going to flip out
 Canine
05:07:03 
My wolfs are 23 and 21 hours pregnant
 Animus Vox
05:06:19 
just got flashbanged by your page ET
 Canine
05:06:13 
Bro I'm happy
 Eternity
05:05:44 ET
I cannot win with the text size on my palette omg. One screen it's too big, another screen it's too small </3 why

Reaper
I think you are </3

Vox
Whoops, DA links are uh,, very long.

Canine
Hiya! What's up?
 Animus Vox
05:05:32 
I did not realize those links were so long D:
 Eternitys Gaze
05:05:15 tern / gaze
animus
what happened to those links :'0
 Eternitys Gaze
05:04:47 tern / gaze
ET
thank you no effort was put into it 🔥🔥
 Canine
05:04:29 
Eternity hi
 Animus Vox
05:04:25 
i'm logging out forever omg
 Animus Vox
05:04:13 
I did this lil guy ages ago
https://images-wixmp-ed30a86b8c4ca887773594c2.wixmp.com/f/a1ef90c6-c10a-4bdf-b4fb-1028a78374bb/db6gvh3-80980ed0-0742-4472-9f22-2593929a8d9e.png/v1/fill/w_600,h_709/drago___free_lineart_by_whoawhat_db6gvh3-fullview.png?token=eyJ0eXAiOiJKV1QiLCJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiJ9.eyJzdWIiOiJ1cm46YXBwOjdlMGQxODg5ODIyNjQzNzNhNWYwZDQxNWVhMGQyNmUwIiwiaXNzIjoidXJuOmFwcDo3ZTBkMTg4OTgyMjY0MzczYTVmMGQ0MTVlYTBkMjZlMCIsIm9iaiI6W1t7ImhlaWdodCI6Ijw9NzA5IiwicGF0aCI6IlwvZlwvYTFlZjkwYzYtYzEwYS00YmRmLWI0ZmItMTAyOGE3ODM3NGJiXC9kYjZndmgzLTgwOTgwZWQwLTA3NDItNDQ3Mi05ZjIyLTI1OTM5MjlhOGQ5ZS5wbmciLCJ3aWR0aCI6Ijw9NjAwIn1dXSwiYXVkIjpbInVybjpzZXJ2aWNlOmltYWdlLm9wZXJhdGlvbnMiXX0.HXACfhFbRsAV76zNYIL82V3kb25XESYQgsczRXm0TOg

Also this, I would call this a dragon :3
https://images-wixmp-ed30a86b8c4ca887773594c2.wixmp.com/f/a1ef90c6-c10a-4bdf-b4fb-1028a78374bb/db6cap4-fe4d4efb-49cf-4e00-8ae9-21b8c45c1a99.png/v1/fill/w_1032,h_774,q_70,strp/quetz_by_whoawhat_db6cap4-pre.jpg?token=eyJ0eXAiOiJKV1QiLCJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiJ9.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.Q_OQk5LIvaT_pHe2cJXLr41mH7lxZo4rulY0OOB0SmA
 The Reaper
05:04:12 Reaper / Grim
ET
<3 Maybe I'm doing my usual too critical view
 Eternity
05:04:11 ET
Eternity's Gaze
Ough,, that looks awesome omg
 Canine
05:03:56 
Hello peeps
 Eternity
05:03:54 ET
Night Walker
Oh does it-?? :0 show me the derg!
 Eternitys Gaze
05:03:52 tern / gaze
dragon :3
-Click-
 kycantina
05:03:14 ky, mourning kelsier
Cae, I'm hoping to get a better explore schedule down for the Kels replacement fund,, think I'll be a WP devotee spring n summer and do my other hobbies fall/winter
 Luna💖
05:02:05 Silver (She/her)
should I draw a quick headshot of my dragon OC to show y'all?

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Chatbox
 Animus Vox
05:08:01 
BJake
Would be a valid crash out with all those items
 Eternity
05:07:43 ET
Animus
My apologies </3

Canine
Oh yeah? :0 why's that?
 BJake
05:07:15 Don't call me BJ.
-WP Click-
About to pop her, if I don't get one good pup I'm going to flip out
 Canine
05:07:03 
My wolfs are 23 and 21 hours pregnant
 Animus Vox
05:06:19 
just got flashbanged by your page ET
 Canine
05:06:13 
Bro I'm happy
 Eternity
05:05:44 ET
I cannot win with the text size on my palette omg. One screen it's too big, another screen it's too small </3 why

Reaper
I think you are </3

Vox
Whoops, DA links are uh,, very long.

Canine
Hiya! What's up?
 Animus Vox
05:05:32 
I did not realize those links were so long D:
 Eternitys Gaze
05:05:15 tern / gaze
animus
what happened to those links :'0
 Eternitys Gaze
05:04:47 tern / gaze
ET
thank you no effort was put into it 🔥🔥
 Canine
05:04:29 
Eternity hi
 Animus Vox
05:04:25 
i'm logging out forever omg
 Animus Vox
05:04:13 
I did this lil guy ages ago
https://images-wixmp-ed30a86b8c4ca887773594c2.wixmp.com/f/a1ef90c6-c10a-4bdf-b4fb-1028a78374bb/db6gvh3-80980ed0-0742-4472-9f22-2593929a8d9e.png/v1/fill/w_600,h_709/drago___free_lineart_by_whoawhat_db6gvh3-fullview.png?token=eyJ0eXAiOiJKV1QiLCJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiJ9.eyJzdWIiOiJ1cm46YXBwOjdlMGQxODg5ODIyNjQzNzNhNWYwZDQxNWVhMGQyNmUwIiwiaXNzIjoidXJuOmFwcDo3ZTBkMTg4OTgyMjY0MzczYTVmMGQ0MTVlYTBkMjZlMCIsIm9iaiI6W1t7ImhlaWdodCI6Ijw9NzA5IiwicGF0aCI6IlwvZlwvYTFlZjkwYzYtYzEwYS00YmRmLWI0ZmItMTAyOGE3ODM3NGJiXC9kYjZndmgzLTgwOTgwZWQwLTA3NDItNDQ3Mi05ZjIyLTI1OTM5MjlhOGQ5ZS5wbmciLCJ3aWR0aCI6Ijw9NjAwIn1dXSwiYXVkIjpbInVybjpzZXJ2aWNlOmltYWdlLm9wZXJhdGlvbnMiXX0.HXACfhFbRsAV76zNYIL82V3kb25XESYQgsczRXm0TOg

Also this, I would call this a dragon :3
https://images-wixmp-ed30a86b8c4ca887773594c2.wixmp.com/f/a1ef90c6-c10a-4bdf-b4fb-1028a78374bb/db6cap4-fe4d4efb-49cf-4e00-8ae9-21b8c45c1a99.png/v1/fill/w_1032,h_774,q_70,strp/quetz_by_whoawhat_db6cap4-pre.jpg?token=eyJ0eXAiOiJKV1QiLCJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiJ9.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.Q_OQk5LIvaT_pHe2cJXLr41mH7lxZo4rulY0OOB0SmA
 The Reaper
05:04:12 Reaper / Grim
ET
<3 Maybe I'm doing my usual too critical view
 Eternity
05:04:11 ET
Eternity's Gaze
Ough,, that looks awesome omg
 Canine
05:03:56 
Hello peeps
 Eternity
05:03:54 ET
Night Walker
Oh does it-?? :0 show me the derg!
 Eternitys Gaze
05:03:52 tern / gaze
dragon :3
-Click-
 kycantina
05:03:14 ky, mourning kelsier
Cae, I'm hoping to get a better explore schedule down for the Kels replacement fund,, think I'll be a WP devotee spring n summer and do my other hobbies fall/winter
 Luna💖
05:02:05 Silver (She/her)
should I draw a quick headshot of my dragon OC to show y'all?




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Forums > Socialize
   1    2 

I dont wanna be a broke college student :)December 31, 2022 06:34 PM


Former Pack

Neutral
 
Posts: 0
#2846005
Give Award

Getting straight into it. I have this little scholarship essay, a looming due date, and nobody to look over it for me. Help?

Prompt: What are your education and Career Goals? How do you plan on impacting your community in the future?

Essay: Min- 250. Max-500. Current- 261

Revised: 258 words.

My name is []. I'm a senior at [] High School, and my goal, once I graduate, is to pursue an Associate Degree in Baking and Pastry Arts and a Bachelor's in Food and Beverage Management at [] & [] University. This will prepare me for owning my own business in the future. What made me desire a career in this field? My passion for baking, as well as the sheer joy I felt when seeing others enjoy the dishes I made The happiness that I was able to create using nothing but my hands and mediocre skills gave me a sense of fulfillment. I then knew that, unlike other hobbies I had tried, this was what I truly enjoyed and wished to spend time furthering my knowledge of. When I first had the thought of owning my own business, I didn't think of doing much with it. Before long, I began to think of all the good I could do for those in situations that I could have been in, had I not been so fortunate. My wish is to create a community filled with acceptance and warmth by using any business I create. What I wish to do is hire certain nonviolent criminals and those who are beginning to age out of the foster care system, therefore giving a second chance to those who need it. This scholarship would allow me to gain the skills necessary to not only survive but thrive in my chosen field, as well as use my experience to help others thrive.


Edited at December 31, 2022 08:21 PM by Flower Field
I dont wanna be a broke college student :)December 31, 2022 06:43 PM


Former Pack

Neutral
 
Posts: 0
#2846007
Give Award
It's good, but I feel like there are still some things you could improve
I dont wanna be a broke college student :)December 31, 2022 06:46 PM


Wilted

Darkseeker
 
Posts: 376
#2846008
Give Award
Heyo, I would replace a bit of your wording;
"while also" -> "in addition to",
"Before too long, however," -> "Not too long after".
Apologies if this was vague or didn't make sense, I'm a little tired hehe. There's a whole list somewhere, but I forgot what it's called.
However if your school has a career center or similar, I do recommend going there or asking a trusted teacher!
I dont wanna be a broke college student :)December 31, 2022 06:54 PM


Former Pack

Neutral
 
Posts: 0
#2846010
Give Award
It does help! Also, I wish I could ask a teacher to look it over but the due date is before winter break is over so most of my teachers aren't checking their email.

Wilted said:
Heyo, I would replace a bit of your wording;
"while also" -> "in addition to",
"Before too long, however," -> "Not too long after".
Apologies if this was vague or didn't make sense, I'm a little tired hehe. There's a whole list somewhere, but I forgot what it's called.
However if your school has a career center or similar, I do recommend going there or asking a trusted teacher!


I dont wanna be a broke college student :)December 31, 2022 07:08 PM


Former Pack

Neutral
 
Posts: 0
#2846016
Give Award
--

Edited at December 31, 2022 07:53 PM by Flower Field
I dont wanna be a broke college student :)December 31, 2022 07:20 PM


Wilted

Darkseeker
 
Posts: 376
#2846020
Give Award
Hmm, have you tried reading this out loud? There's a lot of commas/pauses. I wouldn't exactly try to compress everything into one sentence, as that can be a mouthful (brainful? I'm still tired).
Try splitting them up a bit?
I dont wanna be a broke college student :)December 31, 2022 08:30 PM


Former Pack

Neutral
 
Posts: 0
#2846032
Give Award
Try to change "What made me desire a career in this field? My passion for baking, as well as the sheer joy I felt when seeing others enjoy the dishes I made" to:
My passion for baking made me desire a career in this field, as well as the sheer joy I felt when seeing others enjoy the dishes I made.
I dont wanna be a broke college student :)December 31, 2022 08:33 PM


Former Pack

Neutral
 
Posts: 0
#2846033
Give Award
Be sure to add a period between 'made' and 'the'
My passion for baking, as well as the sheer joy I felt when seeing others enjoy the dishes I made The happiness that I was able to create using nothing but my hands and mediocre skills gave me a sense of fulfillment.
Should be
My passion for baking, as well as the sheer joy I felt when seeing others enjoy the dishes I made. The happiness that I was able to create using nothing but my hands and mediocre skills gave me a sense of fulfillment.
I dont wanna be a broke college student :)December 31, 2022 08:34 PM


Former Pack

Neutral
 
Posts: 0
#2846035
Give Award
I'm just pointing out minor things that need to be fixed for now
I dont wanna be a broke college student :)December 31, 2022 08:35 PM


Former Pack

Neutral
 
Posts: 0
#2846036
Give Award
Wow, kinda embarrassed I didn't notice I forgot a period lol
Also, I appreciate any and all help!

Edited at December 31, 2022 08:36 PM by Flower Field

Forums > Socialize
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