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 LeafClan
03:37:55 Leaf She/Her
I logged on in a hurry thinking raven had her pups but she is at 48 hours damn it........
 Desire of The Hills
03:37:20 Hills / Desire
Most active I've seen chat in a while lol
 Smilecat
03:37:12 Danasha [T/T]
Ello chat
 Lackadaisy
03:37:05 Stray, LT | H/H
Kryuk,

Yeah, around 9pm I was in common and around all of the guys obviously and they had the bright idea to play truth or dare

I need to take away their amazon shopping privledges. I swear to god, if I find one more "present" on my bed -

Vah,

Being sore sucks, I'm sorry :c

And thanks! Free time >.>
 Malpha
03:36:55 St. Algo's Pack/Mal
Khaos,
Slayyy with them boots
 Nobachey
03:36:38 Call me anything
Mal
Eh, just an inch
 Malpha
03:36:07 St. Algo's Pack/Mal
Nobachey,
Oh well that's only a little bit more than mine
 Kháos
03:35:53 
Mal-
Tell that to my boots! I feel very tall with them. B)
 Nobachey
03:35:42 Call me anything
Mal
I think it's about 16 inches.
 The Reaper
03:35:42 Reaper / Grim
Spare Parts
>_> Damn
 Boeing
03:35:11 Boe is a bear, Rawr!
Dealership
I have the protection of red crayon, you cannot touch me-
 Malpha
03:34:59 St. Algo's Pack/Mal
Khaos,
Even with extra height you're short TT.TT
 The Tea Drinkers
03:34:14 Tea, Tea Queen
I forgot I have a trainee this year and have been slacking on explore >.>
 Nobachey
03:34:08 Call me anything
I'm 5'1 3/4. He's 6'5 7/8. I don't feel like doing the math.
 Zeraphia
03:33:56 Space Pirate Captain
Stray

Oh man. I can imagine!

I'm a bit sore but enjoying a day off. I work tomorrow as well and hopefully I'll get an actual schedule here soon. :3

Those sketches look fantastic! I love them!
 Amygdala
03:33:48 Amy/Anpmygdala
A shocker
Young Hel 3 drops Hel's Scepter and you pick it up.
 The Reaper
03:33:13 Reaper / Grim
Spare Parts
Well it's a good thing I haven't taken your digestive system then
 garfield enjoyer
03:33:13 garf
Mal
Oops, haha
 Malpha
03:33:11 St. Algo's Pack/Mal
Nobachey,
I had a 15 inch height difference but what's yours??? T.T
 garfield enjoyer
03:33:00 garf
Mal
It's an acronym for assigned female at birth

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Chatbox
 LeafClan
03:37:55 Leaf She/Her
I logged on in a hurry thinking raven had her pups but she is at 48 hours damn it........
 Desire of The Hills
03:37:20 Hills / Desire
Most active I've seen chat in a while lol
 Smilecat
03:37:12 Danasha [T/T]
Ello chat
 Lackadaisy
03:37:05 Stray, LT | H/H
Kryuk,

Yeah, around 9pm I was in common and around all of the guys obviously and they had the bright idea to play truth or dare

I need to take away their amazon shopping privledges. I swear to god, if I find one more "present" on my bed -

Vah,

Being sore sucks, I'm sorry :c

And thanks! Free time >.>
 Malpha
03:36:55 St. Algo's Pack/Mal
Khaos,
Slayyy with them boots
 Nobachey
03:36:38 Call me anything
Mal
Eh, just an inch
 Malpha
03:36:07 St. Algo's Pack/Mal
Nobachey,
Oh well that's only a little bit more than mine
 Kháos
03:35:53 
Mal-
Tell that to my boots! I feel very tall with them. B)
 Nobachey
03:35:42 Call me anything
Mal
I think it's about 16 inches.
 The Reaper
03:35:42 Reaper / Grim
Spare Parts
>_> Damn
 Boeing
03:35:11 Boe is a bear, Rawr!
Dealership
I have the protection of red crayon, you cannot touch me-
 Malpha
03:34:59 St. Algo's Pack/Mal
Khaos,
Even with extra height you're short TT.TT
 The Tea Drinkers
03:34:14 Tea, Tea Queen
I forgot I have a trainee this year and have been slacking on explore >.>
 Nobachey
03:34:08 Call me anything
I'm 5'1 3/4. He's 6'5 7/8. I don't feel like doing the math.
 Zeraphia
03:33:56 Space Pirate Captain
Stray

Oh man. I can imagine!

I'm a bit sore but enjoying a day off. I work tomorrow as well and hopefully I'll get an actual schedule here soon. :3

Those sketches look fantastic! I love them!
 Amygdala
03:33:48 Amy/Anpmygdala
A shocker
Young Hel 3 drops Hel's Scepter and you pick it up.
 The Reaper
03:33:13 Reaper / Grim
Spare Parts
Well it's a good thing I haven't taken your digestive system then
 garfield enjoyer
03:33:13 garf
Mal
Oops, haha
 Malpha
03:33:11 St. Algo's Pack/Mal
Nobachey,
I had a 15 inch height difference but what's yours??? T.T
 garfield enjoyer
03:33:00 garf
Mal
It's an acronym for assigned female at birth




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Forums > Socialize
   1    2 

I dont wanna be a broke college student :)December 31, 2022 06:34 PM


Former Pack

Neutral
 
Posts: 0
#2846005
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Getting straight into it. I have this little scholarship essay, a looming due date, and nobody to look over it for me. Help?

Prompt: What are your education and Career Goals? How do you plan on impacting your community in the future?

Essay: Min- 250. Max-500. Current- 261

Revised: 258 words.

My name is []. I'm a senior at [] High School, and my goal, once I graduate, is to pursue an Associate Degree in Baking and Pastry Arts and a Bachelor's in Food and Beverage Management at [] & [] University. This will prepare me for owning my own business in the future. What made me desire a career in this field? My passion for baking, as well as the sheer joy I felt when seeing others enjoy the dishes I made The happiness that I was able to create using nothing but my hands and mediocre skills gave me a sense of fulfillment. I then knew that, unlike other hobbies I had tried, this was what I truly enjoyed and wished to spend time furthering my knowledge of. When I first had the thought of owning my own business, I didn't think of doing much with it. Before long, I began to think of all the good I could do for those in situations that I could have been in, had I not been so fortunate. My wish is to create a community filled with acceptance and warmth by using any business I create. What I wish to do is hire certain nonviolent criminals and those who are beginning to age out of the foster care system, therefore giving a second chance to those who need it. This scholarship would allow me to gain the skills necessary to not only survive but thrive in my chosen field, as well as use my experience to help others thrive.


Edited at December 31, 2022 08:21 PM by Flower Field
I dont wanna be a broke college student :)December 31, 2022 06:43 PM


Former Pack

Neutral
 
Posts: 0
#2846007
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It's good, but I feel like there are still some things you could improve
I dont wanna be a broke college student :)December 31, 2022 06:46 PM


Wilted

Darkseeker
 
Posts: 376
#2846008
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Heyo, I would replace a bit of your wording;
"while also" -> "in addition to",
"Before too long, however," -> "Not too long after".
Apologies if this was vague or didn't make sense, I'm a little tired hehe. There's a whole list somewhere, but I forgot what it's called.
However if your school has a career center or similar, I do recommend going there or asking a trusted teacher!
I dont wanna be a broke college student :)December 31, 2022 06:54 PM


Former Pack

Neutral
 
Posts: 0
#2846010
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It does help! Also, I wish I could ask a teacher to look it over but the due date is before winter break is over so most of my teachers aren't checking their email.

Wilted said:
Heyo, I would replace a bit of your wording;
"while also" -> "in addition to",
"Before too long, however," -> "Not too long after".
Apologies if this was vague or didn't make sense, I'm a little tired hehe. There's a whole list somewhere, but I forgot what it's called.
However if your school has a career center or similar, I do recommend going there or asking a trusted teacher!


I dont wanna be a broke college student :)December 31, 2022 07:08 PM


Former Pack

Neutral
 
Posts: 0
#2846016
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--

Edited at December 31, 2022 07:53 PM by Flower Field
I dont wanna be a broke college student :)December 31, 2022 07:20 PM


Wilted

Darkseeker
 
Posts: 376
#2846020
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Hmm, have you tried reading this out loud? There's a lot of commas/pauses. I wouldn't exactly try to compress everything into one sentence, as that can be a mouthful (brainful? I'm still tired).
Try splitting them up a bit?
I dont wanna be a broke college student :)December 31, 2022 08:30 PM


Former Pack

Neutral
 
Posts: 0
#2846032
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Try to change "What made me desire a career in this field? My passion for baking, as well as the sheer joy I felt when seeing others enjoy the dishes I made" to:
My passion for baking made me desire a career in this field, as well as the sheer joy I felt when seeing others enjoy the dishes I made.
I dont wanna be a broke college student :)December 31, 2022 08:33 PM


Former Pack

Neutral
 
Posts: 0
#2846033
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Be sure to add a period between 'made' and 'the'
My passion for baking, as well as the sheer joy I felt when seeing others enjoy the dishes I made The happiness that I was able to create using nothing but my hands and mediocre skills gave me a sense of fulfillment.
Should be
My passion for baking, as well as the sheer joy I felt when seeing others enjoy the dishes I made. The happiness that I was able to create using nothing but my hands and mediocre skills gave me a sense of fulfillment.
I dont wanna be a broke college student :)December 31, 2022 08:34 PM


Former Pack

Neutral
 
Posts: 0
#2846035
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I'm just pointing out minor things that need to be fixed for now
I dont wanna be a broke college student :)December 31, 2022 08:35 PM


Former Pack

Neutral
 
Posts: 0
#2846036
Give Award
Wow, kinda embarrassed I didn't notice I forgot a period lol
Also, I appreciate any and all help!

Edited at December 31, 2022 08:36 PM by Flower Field

Forums > Socialize
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