Chatbox
 LunnaRhiss
07:22:44 
Ai keeps hitting each time even if i try tricking it by hitting walls first xD
 Jack-A-Boo
07:21:51 Jack, Boo, Vapor
-WP Click-

should I just retire her? she keeps giving me bad pups
 limbo
07:19:16 ZDecay
Lunna,
hitting it is the only option. or if the ai glitches and launches it across the screen lmao
 LunnaRhiss
07:14:16 
can someone tell me how to speed up in pong game lol
 Haunted Hills
06:50:17 Chat Ghost
Limbo
You're welcome! I understand your pain lol
 limbo
06:44:41 ZDecay
Haunted,
wahh thank you!! i'm scared to touch the sketch but i'm determined to finish it lol
 Haunted Hills
06:43:19 Chat Ghost
Limbo
It looks so good, she looks like a cutie <3
 limbo
06:38:39 ZDecay
i never draw my dog because i struggle to catch her likeness, but i think i've finally done it :')
-Click-
 MLadySkylar
06:32:14 P'Sky
I have to leave on a few minutes too,
I'll be online probably all day though
 kycantina
06:30:22 no. 1 swamp defender
Bye Amy, hope it doesn't suck too bad :))
 Amygdala
06:28:59 Amy/Anpmygdala
Okay time's up...work is calling, bye for now chat
 StarRun
06:24:52 
My goal is as my wolves grow and die off that there will still be ones with rosewood in my pack
 StarRun
06:23:17 
Very nice
My alpha male has rosewood markings too... Just not that many lol
My Mela male has a few also
 Amygdala
06:22:17 Amy/Anpmygdala
My rosewood king
-WP Click-

Star
She is pretty
 StarRun
06:20:48 
-WP Click-

Like this girl
 Amygdala
06:19:50 Amy/Anpmygdala
Woofle
There was yes
 StarRun
06:19:34 
A lot of my pups have five to six of the markings
 Amygdala
06:19:10 Amy/Anpmygdala
Star
Rosewwod is really pretty, looks like blood

P'sky
And no work getting done XD
 Woofle
06:18:55 Waffle/syrup child
Didn't there used to be a CP upgrade?
 MLadySkylar
06:18:33 P'Sky
Amy
Ooh
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Forums > Socialize
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I need opinions/tips on my writingJune 22, 2022 08:42 PM


Firefox

Darkseeker
 
Posts: 3137
#2780784
Give Award
I crave validation, nah XD just kidding, although that is partly true. I am mostly looking for contrsuctive criticism on my writing, I see something wrong with it, I aim to get better.
So with that let me just link some examples and I would like it if y'all could comment some tips/criticism. (Compliments are okay also)
~~
Examples.
1. Raina's Story Wrote this today in my spare time-
3. took me four hours I need someone to proofread or something- help me out Raven's Story
~~
Let me know if The links don't work so I can fix them-
And note to the mods, I had no idea where to put this, if it's in the wrong sub forum please move for me, thank you.

Edited at June 23, 2022 01:19 AM by Firefox
I need opinions/tips on my writingJune 23, 2022 06:49 PM


Yuketa

Neutral
 
Posts: 1585
#2781080
Give Award
You could practice writing similes and integrating idioms into some places, if preferred.
There was an exercise we used to do in Creative Writing where the teacher would put up a picture on the projector screen of a location, like a cabin in the woods, or a marketplace, and we would write out a scene while incorporating the five senses into it.
"The woods were a little musty, and Aril observed particles of dust as they floated down the citrine sunbeams, like little boats cascading in slow motion down a titanic waterfall. It was just cold enough to make the hairs on the back of his neck stand up, and dull whatever he could smell of the place, but there was still that faint scent of an unnatural... thing. Something ancient and rotting, and not quite chemical although he almost tasted ammonia in the assaulting concoction. It was a substance hidden within the magical pretense of the abandoned cottage. He felt the coin in his pocket, his good luck charm; it had been with him through the ages, and its faces were worn smooth by his fiddlings. With a couple circles of his thumb over its edge, he hoped it would see him through to the end of this situation, too."
I'd write more but I just woke up and am headed for work lol.
One other piece of advice I guess is, read literature that you like and would want to emulate in your own writing, dissect it, even. What makes this scene powerful/emotional/feel hazardous? Are the protag's goals being realistically hindered by this or that, and are the stakes high enough? Etcetera.
Good luck!

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