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 Zeraphia
11:11:49 Space Pirate Captain
Emmet

Oooh I hope you do get something!
 VioletEcho
11:11:36 Is a dinosaur rawr
Hi Desti ^^
 Destinations End
11:10:56 Toliska, Desti, Coy
Hey
 Continental Wolves
11:10:33 Emmet , Spoopy Wolf
Vah
I mean I still have another 5 in labor so hopefully i get something decent, also have some litters happening tomorrow
 Zeraphia
11:06:38 Space Pirate Captain
Emmet

Felt

>.> I don't think I've bred anything solid for a while now
 Kháos
10:57:22 
As "A Work Of Art" (Ice Nine Kills) plays XD
 Continental Wolves
10:56:22 Emmet , Spoopy Wolf
A disappointing mini puppy boom
 Zeraphia
10:55:34 Space Pirate Captain
Mmh art
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10:51:01 
Bleh. Art, explore, breeding, splurging, work or quests? I have no clue what to do chat. Trying to stay up for another 20 minutes at least. 😩
 VioletEcho
10:49:14 Is a dinosaur rawr
Hi chat
 HighSociety
10:44:14 Dusk
paws?
-WP Click-
 Acerbus.
10:42:42 Ace | Cerberus
Geminae
A green healing potion! If you search them in barter, you should be able to find some for sale. Or you can craft them! :P
 Geminae
10:41:11 
what helps injured paws?
 NyghtLais
10:39:06 
Sorry internet was not working but I am doing good thanks for asking!
 Acerbus.
10:31:42 Ace | Cerberus
NyghtLais
Doing alright! How are you? :D
 Acerbus.
10:31:19 Ace | Cerberus
Chip
Honestly? Real. Nicotine and coffee are my only saving grace lately ;-; I'm about 99% sure there's mold in my uni house and I've been dying
16 hours and then a kiddo is TOO much work what! I know that's how life goes but man does that sound terrible
 NyghtLais
10:29:33 
So! How is everyone tonight!
 NyghtLais
10:28:52 
I've never known how to make/add friends in this platform
 Forgotten Dreams
10:27:58 Chip/Dreamer
Ace
tiring I think after this semester Imma take a break working 10 hour shifts then siitting in class for 6 hours is killing meeee. nicotine and coffee is currently my lifeline
 NyghtLais
10:26:42 
Anyone want to know something really interesting?

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Forums > Socialize
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I need opinions/tips on my writingJune 22, 2022 08:42 PM


Firefox

Darkseeker
 
Posts: 3137
#2780784
Give Award
I crave validation, nah XD just kidding, although that is partly true. I am mostly looking for contrsuctive criticism on my writing, I see something wrong with it, I aim to get better.
So with that let me just link some examples and I would like it if y'all could comment some tips/criticism. (Compliments are okay also)
~~
Examples.
1. Raina's Story Wrote this today in my spare time-
3. took me four hours I need someone to proofread or something- help me out Raven's Story
~~
Let me know if The links don't work so I can fix them-
And note to the mods, I had no idea where to put this, if it's in the wrong sub forum please move for me, thank you.

Edited at June 23, 2022 01:19 AM by Firefox
I need opinions/tips on my writingJune 23, 2022 06:49 PM


Yuketa

Neutral
 
Posts: 1700
#2781080
Give Award
You could practice writing similes and integrating idioms into some places, if preferred.
There was an exercise we used to do in Creative Writing where the teacher would put up a picture on the projector screen of a location, like a cabin in the woods, or a marketplace, and we would write out a scene while incorporating the five senses into it.
"The woods were a little musty, and Aril observed particles of dust as they floated down the citrine sunbeams, like little boats cascading in slow motion down a titanic waterfall. It was just cold enough to make the hairs on the back of his neck stand up, and dull whatever he could smell of the place, but there was still that faint scent of an unnatural... thing. Something ancient and rotting, and not quite chemical although he almost tasted ammonia in the assaulting concoction. It was a substance hidden within the magical pretense of the abandoned cottage. He felt the coin in his pocket, his good luck charm; it had been with him through the ages, and its faces were worn smooth by his fiddlings. With a couple circles of his thumb over its edge, he hoped it would see him through to the end of this situation, too."
I'd write more but I just woke up and am headed for work lol.
One other piece of advice I guess is, read literature that you like and would want to emulate in your own writing, dissect it, even. What makes this scene powerful/emotional/feel hazardous? Are the protag's goals being realistically hindered by this or that, and are the stakes high enough? Etcetera.
Good luck!

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