Chatbox
 LeafClan
03:49:27 Leaf she/her
Amy do you wanna now what the first few lines of it are?
PS I named The qauasar after this guys name in the song!
 Boeing
03:49:26 Boe is a bear, Rawr!
this is why I need to find more classical musicians on this site >.>
I can't be the only one lol
 Black Baron
03:49:18  Baron | Ace
Leaf
I'm already going to lose my hearing by the time I'm 21. Might as well commit to losing it to something I actually enjoy hearing-
 LeafClan
03:48:22 Leaf she/her
Me blasting that song in my ears be like...
GoodBye Hearing!
 Amygdala
03:47:45 Amy/Anpmygdala
Leaf
That is a nice name
 LeafClan
03:47:07 Leaf she/her
Amy I got My HH wolfs name from a line in the song called insane the line where he says I have the power to bathe all of you in entertaining Fire.
 Amygdala
03:46:58 Amy/Anpmygdala
Hallow
Understandble ;)
 Hallow's Eve
03:46:17 Hallow, Eve
Amy

My boss calculated my hours with his boss and I have like 8 hours overtime somehow. Also I just listened to your song, I had to find my headphones lol. It was good, just not what I am used to listening to lol
 Amygdala
03:46:17 Amy/Anpmygdala
Okay as an appology here is one of my favourite songs
-YT Click-

To get that one out of your heads
 Hallow's Eve
03:45:16 Hallow, Eve
Magnus

She looks goregous!
 Amygdala
03:45:06 Amy/Anpmygdala
Hallow
Lol

I don't have enough hours because my boos keeps giving me days off XD
 Magnus Bane
03:44:10 Mag/Maggy
-WP Click-
Eve
 Boeing
03:43:40 Boe is a bear, Rawr!
Amt
okay okay okay
maybe you should sleep
aand thank you Cae for putting that back in my head >.>
 Amygdala
03:43:37 Amy/Anpmygdala
Cae
That song is the opposite of my ass 🥲
 Caeruleum
03:43:01 Cae, Blue
How you fit in them jeans 😭😭😭
 Amygdala
03:42:27 Amy/Anpmygdala
Cae
Oops sorry (not sorry ;p)

Plane
It's late for normal population lol
Honestly i am kinda tired since i am running on 3h of sleep lol
 Hallow's Eve
03:42:02 Hallow, Eve
I love it when my boss comes up to me and says I am banned from taking more hours this week XD
 Boeing
03:41:16 Boe is a bear, Rawr!
Amt
For you it's 10:41pm... this is the first time you call this late xD
 Caeruleum
03:41:14 Cae, Blue
Because of your mommae i have "i know you got a fat ass" stuck in my head

Actually banging my head on the wall, get it out, get it OUT
 Amygdala
03:40:34 Amy/Anpmygdala
Plane
I am sorry in advance XD

Leaf
I will tomorrow, it's late and my sister is asleap

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Forums > Socialize > Growl
   1 

I felt like binge-listening to Billie Eilish :\July 10, 2023 11:26 AM


SunGaze

Neutral
 
Posts: 421
#2906617
Give Award
Gonna try to not get in trouble with mods here... so- um, sorry if I do...
-
I've had a shitty past two years.
My mental health was bad, and I had no friends. I was in the hospital, and I was miserable for 8 months of being stuck on a bed in a white room of nothingness.
But after all that, I finally made friends.
They cared about me, and one of them even went through similar stuff as me.
I was super happy and felt myself smile again. It had been so long.
Three of my friends (in real life, I'm not ranting about game members) were especially amazing. I considered them my best friends. One of them I went into a romantic relationship with them (but they're now my ex, as you'll find out why).
The problem was, when it came to planning sleepoves or hanging out with them, they'd always have other plans or cancel last minute.
It was getting on my nerves, especially when I would get so excited and dress up for a date or sleepover. They would keep cancelling our hangouts and lie that they were grounded or busy. I eventually asked my other friend (now my girlfriend) if they were actually grounded, and she said that they weren't, and had no idea why they were saying that because they scheduled a hangout together a few hours later.
I was so frustrating.
I was already angry at them in the beginning for manipulating me and dumping all their feelings on me.
But my teacher told me not to worry, and that they were probably just 'going through something'.
My ex continued to ignore me (unless they needed something, of course), and it really hurt me.
So when I came to them again, they said "we need to break up, my mental health is terrible and I can't handle a relationship right now" and I didn't cry. I said "okay, that's fine. I understand".
I was fine with this at first, but then it made me feel sad.
They continued to ghost me, but I kept coming back to them for more attention. I felt so lonely without their love, even if they never loved me.
I started thinking it was my fault, and whenever they were close to their other friend, I would get petty and jealous. I would feel anger and wish they would never get into another relationship.
I moved on after a few months, when my other two friends helped me realize that it's not good to hang on to a toxic relationship.
Then my other friend asked me out to a dance, and we decided to date. When she is upset and says something mean, she apologizes and doesn't make it seem like it's my fault, just like my ex did. She is kind to me and doesn't manipulate to make me feel sorry for her.
But most of all, I feel like I can be myself.
But even then, sometimes I feel conscious. But she has never judged me for it.
My other friend (the third one I was talking about earlier) is also very nice. My friends and relationships felt real and not like they were just making an excuse so they could move on with someone else.
I now am happy more often and I tell people my story and how it is possible to make friends, even though it doesn't seem like it. And life is difficult, but it gets better. And I'm not saying it happens over night or forever, it is like a rollercoaster, as some say.
I'll always be there for people who need it, and just tell them and hope they know they're not alone. <3
-
Thank you for reading all this. It helps to know that someone would care this much about my story and read it.
-
EDIT: My partner and I broke up, and it is completely my fault. I think.
I'm very upset, but it's for the best <3
-
Mods, again, I'm sorry if this has some bad content, I tried to keep it PG13 ^^'
-
Have a great day, everyone <3

Edited at September 11, 2023 09:37 AM by SunGaze

Forums > Socialize > Growl
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