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 Catori
04:39:45 Cat
-WP Click-
Hmm should I add in another 3rd art prize?
 Existence
04:24:11 Exist / Kuskyn
Setting the palette to greu to save my eyeballs till my pallete can come back to me <3
 VioletEcho
04:22:13 Vi, Echo, Aria
*🥳
 Leo
04:22:09 Back from hiatus
Yayyyyy :DDDDDDD
 VioletEcho
04:21:53 Vi, Echo, Aria
XD
Well you now officially have 500 pvp wins!^^
Yayyy🥳
 Leo
04:19:03 Back from hiatus
xD
 VioletEcho
04:18:35 Vi, Echo, Aria
Alright fine only cause we're friends I will do it 🤣🤣
 Leo
04:17:55 Back from hiatus
xD

Wanna do it? The 500th?
 VioletEcho
04:16:04 Vi, Echo, Aria
I feel like if I ask this I'm just ganna be handing you your 500 pvp on a silver platter XD XD
 VioletEcho
04:15:17 Vi, Echo, Aria
Yay! ^^
 Leo
04:15:11 Back from hiatus
Nice!
 VioletEcho
04:14:54 Vi, Echo, Aria
Yesss
I beat Amy 3 times with him yesterday XD
 Leo
04:14:13 Back from hiatus
1 PvP left for 500 :D
 Leo
04:13:21 Back from hiatus
It's my boy :P
 VioletEcho
04:12:30 Vi, Echo, Aria
Leo I can
 Leo
04:08:36 Back from hiatus
Quick PvP anyone?
 Eagle's Sorrow
04:00:56 eagle, they/them
Okay gotta go again byeee
 Eagle's Sorrow
03:55:33 eagle, they/them
I keep randomly getting 10 mush
 Stray Secrets
03:55:16 Stray.
any idea when that will be? not in any hurry, it doesn't really affect gameplay, but default do be bright
 Eagle's Sorrow
03:54:34 eagle, they/them
Hey chat I poofed

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Forums > Socialize
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I need opinions/tips on my writingJune 22, 2022 08:42 PM


Firefox

Darkseeker
 
Posts: 3137
#2780784
Give Award
I crave validation, nah XD just kidding, although that is partly true. I am mostly looking for contrsuctive criticism on my writing, I see something wrong with it, I aim to get better.
So with that let me just link some examples and I would like it if y'all could comment some tips/criticism. (Compliments are okay also)
~~
Examples.
1. Raina's Story Wrote this today in my spare time-
3. took me four hours I need someone to proofread or something- help me out Raven's Story
~~
Let me know if The links don't work so I can fix them-
And note to the mods, I had no idea where to put this, if it's in the wrong sub forum please move for me, thank you.

Edited at June 23, 2022 01:19 AM by Firefox
I need opinions/tips on my writingJune 23, 2022 06:49 PM


Yuketa

Neutral
 
Posts: 1675
#2781080
Give Award
You could practice writing similes and integrating idioms into some places, if preferred.
There was an exercise we used to do in Creative Writing where the teacher would put up a picture on the projector screen of a location, like a cabin in the woods, or a marketplace, and we would write out a scene while incorporating the five senses into it.
"The woods were a little musty, and Aril observed particles of dust as they floated down the citrine sunbeams, like little boats cascading in slow motion down a titanic waterfall. It was just cold enough to make the hairs on the back of his neck stand up, and dull whatever he could smell of the place, but there was still that faint scent of an unnatural... thing. Something ancient and rotting, and not quite chemical although he almost tasted ammonia in the assaulting concoction. It was a substance hidden within the magical pretense of the abandoned cottage. He felt the coin in his pocket, his good luck charm; it had been with him through the ages, and its faces were worn smooth by his fiddlings. With a couple circles of his thumb over its edge, he hoped it would see him through to the end of this situation, too."
I'd write more but I just woke up and am headed for work lol.
One other piece of advice I guess is, read literature that you like and would want to emulate in your own writing, dissect it, even. What makes this scene powerful/emotional/feel hazardous? Are the protag's goals being realistically hindered by this or that, and are the stakes high enough? Etcetera.
Good luck!

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