The reason I am really wishing this - and I actually have been wishing this for over a year now, possibly longer, and I've tried practicing but with my health declining, doctor appointments, hospitalizations over the last couple years and other reasons I haven't had much time to practice getting better at art - is because I have some really cool ideas for some large group artwork pieces. But I don't know anyone, anywhere(and I mean this in general. Not necessarily on wolfplay or over any internet game), especially not myself, who would be up to or be able to do a single drawing with, if I counted right, around 57ish adult canines and a combination of 41ish adolescent canines and pups(of differing ages between the stages of puphood and adolescence). Some of these characters don't even have artwork yet, so unfortunately that makes it harder..

This is basically for all the characters in the canine novel/series of novels I really want to write ^^' (a handful of these characters aren't in the entire book but I still really wish I could have one artwork with all 99ish characters and then another with all the characters that will be in the entire book/series, and maybe another with all the characters that play the biggest/bigger parts(regardless of if they are in the entire story or not))

I don't really know if this actually would qualify as a growl.. at least not in the sense of most growls on this forum section, but I just am upset and pretty bummed that I can't do this all on my own and doubt that I could ever find an artist(still in general) to make me the three ideas, and possibly more ideas, that I want to have for the novel/series of novels and/or to just have for myself and my kids(I consider my ocs/characters my kids)

~

Another thing that would fit the title, and that I am also upset and bummed over is that I used to be able to write so much more easily. Now, and for at least the past 5 or so years, most likely it's been longer, is that I have so many ideas for books and I have most to all the big and the important events that definitely will happen in the books(for each of the separate book worlds) in my brain but I can't get my thoughts typed out in ways that make enough sense or sound right to me outside my head.

I used to write books and short stories often and the few people I showed loved them and wanted me to publish or get them printed as a book even and at an old church my mom told me people she shared my written works with had offered to do small drawings for me for the stories and books if I would be interested. I was very interested but never went through with it for some reason.
Now, over 9-10 years later, I am at a different church, and home, over an hour away from my previous church, and I don't know if anyone there would be interested in drawing for me, but regardless to that I have ideas and such I personally think would make even better books but I just can't get those books from my brain on to a text document.

I really don't know what to do about this anymore... I desperately want to write but no matter what I do I just can't seem to do it or get any of it done.