Banvot has a roleplay, congrats man!

Behold.

" I'm sorry were you expecting someone else? Adorable"

Age: 25 Years old

Gender: Man

Appearance: Working on some images/words

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Personality:

If I didn't know better, I would say Banvot was casually built different. With the very common terms of: softie, caring, kind, loving and would die for his people.

But then that would be half a lie and wouldn't be very descriptive would it? That would be leaving out his most defining traits such as his serious mommy issues, his yearn to be loved and his notion of being the last man alive even if it means fighting a war that will only result in death and not just his own. Now look, we go down this same path with another, but this time this man fears being left behind; he fears not being loved enough and even if he was being loved he would proclaim it's not enough. Some call it a toxic trait, Banvot would call it a toxic traumatic experience dealing with a mother who couldn't find something not to drink or something not to smoke; and please don;t bring up his caring loving father because that bastard left years ago. The bastard who sired a bastard would only look at him with disappointment, but Banvot proved that he was much more; that he could be much more than just a fertilized egg sack that was born. He wanted to be the special egg, he needed people to know that he was worth the praises.

Worth is something everyone needs once and awhile, but for Banvot every thought process and message he sends to anyone only comes back in just rambles, jumbles, babbles. He knows that his yearn for this being isn't much more than just a traumatic response because love was deprived from him as a young seed; he doesn't want anything else just for people to see him succeed. You may take this however you like, could be weakness could be just an excuse to get attention but Banvot knows deep inside that this, that his feelings aren't just a big joke; there's a lot of things he wants to get off his chest but for the sake of people tolerance for him he keeps that inside and works. Because working is the only desire that fuels him mentally; now I'm not saying Banvot can't be loved; or chooses to put all his energy into this one notion. There's more to Banvot then just the fact he has issues and needs; no wants to be loved by everyone that crosses his path.

There's the fact he's awkwardly humorous, and charmingly a slob. Yes, he's a slob even if he's working day and night he always finds time to throw something on the ground even if it's just a pencil. He works better in a messy environment. But beside that, Banvot is a pretty swell guy; sure he's not much of a feeler, or someone to come to with problems unless it affects his people but he's swell, right?

Sure, Banvot is swell; sure Banvot is a nice guy with a nice heart and nice glasses. He's just nice?

I think it's time to tell the truth, Banvot couldn't be more nicer then he is, but he knows people will find one trait- one invisible simple trait that makes a human breath wrong with him; so he pretends to be swell, he pretends to be nice and caring because honestly that would be less work then trying to be his true self, a self destructive, gaol craved, crazed, mommy issues driven, daddy walked out little charming piece of dog shit. Being nice is much easier then having to explain why he acts like he does, people have fucked him over many times and therefore he just too tired to strike back; so have at it at this point Banvot would rather focus on something worth his time then a petty insult-war.

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Speaking of being focused, Banvot isn't easily distracted when his mind is set on something. Something different about him is that when his plan seems like shit he'll offer any suggestions even though he would hate someone to badger the whole idea of the plan and rearrange it into their making; it's weird yes. But alas, being graceful and elegant isn't really striking to Banvot; he prefers to keep things messy and wild; like a wild card Banvot could be seen as out of control and angry; well in case you skimmed over some pieces Banvot is angry, a angry little shit out for blood and not just his own.

See comments like that makes people believe maybe he wants to die? Maybe he wants to die just to prove he did something with his life? In that case, Banvot totally agrees; he knows his side death dark humor comments could be taken out of context because he was raised differently. But it doesn't excuse the blantly insensitive side of others from this humor, so he tries to subdue that part of him even if he does need some laughs.

Moving on to touch on the subject of his soft tender side, Banvot might look and act like a total asshole who might use you to prove to people you don't even know that he's worth seeing, that he's worth loving and that his worth itself isn't below dirt but there's a side you'll probably rarely see( Unless he is fond of you); a side where he's gentle and calm, where his reasoning and compassion are so deep-rooted he makes angels look lazy. His tenderness is most liked by others, yet rarely seen which makes it hard to actually show it- like stated before he pretends to be nice because it's much easier than admitting that you, yourself agrees with everyone that you're a assard with zero compassion or care about anyone. So in other words I lied, Banvot is pretending yes, but just because pretending is much easier doesn't mean it can't be rooted into a real trait, he almost enjoys being gentle with others; he almost wants them to see how well he can do with others, he actually cares? A lot can be assumed of Banvot, but the biggest two things to know are that he's trusting and functional. Of course, he's also qualified, merciful, and understanding, but these are in a way negated by being furtive as well. His trusting nature though is what he's often idolized for; Oftentimes people will count on this and his discernment whenever they need assistance or service. Nobody's perfect of course and Ban has a share of darker sides to deal with too. His pretense and nastiness can cause things to heat up, though more on a personal level than for others. Fortunately, his sensible consideration helps make sure these days are few and far between.

Now onto his mommy issues, sure he's to blame for his mother drinking therefore he should always blame himself to carry himself to great things? Isn't that how it works? Isn't that how people treat trauma nowadays, blaming themselves so they could feel some sort of anime like power surge to defeat all the big bad guys? Or did Ban miss that trendy train, people are made to believe to blame themselves for other people shit so Ban like everyone else blames himself for someone else misbehaving. He can't be more blinded by guilt and rage than this, what else do you guys want from someone who watched his mother drink herself to hell and back? Please enlighten Ban heart by telling him how to deal with such lose, other than putting his all into working his ass off and trying to remember to breathe. He tends to forget the feeling of pain, having set his nerves into a safe to protect what he has left of his innocence. Anyways, the cause of this lose is probably why he's 80% ass and 5% sweet tooth, and the other percent is put into how he deals with different people. It's a lot of work and exhausting causing Ban to half ass his way through life and up until now it's been going pretty great.

" It takes a real man to admit he's afraid"

And that's exactly what Ban is, afraid of lose, afraid of hate, afraid of anything that threatens his usual lifestyle. He's scared to lose anyone he sees himself with as well as himself. His whole life was built around proving a notion, proving to people he could be become someone powerful- no longer receiving kicks but giving them. That's him suffering, and he'll admit it with pride, he's afraid and there's nothing wrong with having the fear of being left behind to have no one beside you in times of need, every time someone curses his name he has another reason to live. So you might say he's a stubborn bastard with blood dripping from his hands of his past and future enemies, you might be thinking," Banvot is the type of man who'll seek revenge only to bathe in the blood of his enemies", and you're right; revenge is another normal human trait for being fucked over and so why shouldn't Banvot acquire such trait after explaining how his rightful proclaims are; if anything you'll agree with him that revenge is the only way to go, forgiveness is only targeted at someone who stole a candy bar from your desk, or stole your girlfriend only to knock her up and so your ex friend and ex girl made some bastard child. That. That can be forgiven, something like disrespecting Banvot can not.

" Ugh your a monster"

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Indeed Ban is, a confusing yet intelligent monster, he could be cruel or rude, but it's his choice on what you see on the surface. It's his choice if he chooses to be a dickard toward people; but alas he doesn't have much time for all that bickering mess, he has a goal in this world and that's to keep his people safe. There's a difference between Banvot people and people in general, please don't dare confuse such a thing that can easily be spotted from afar; he's there for his people and would risk his life for his people; he'll scream for his people. He'll find ways to get his people to the Golden gates of life even if life seems hard for them because like him they are just people( or shifters/ etc) trying to live in normal life and survive to have some sort of future. If he doesn't have his people, then Ban would be alone and that's something we all don't want because he'll surely forget that his life is as precious as another, he'll forget that he only has one life and it shouldn't be taken lightly, he doesn't take steps back when losing hits hard, he actually just becomes a reckless version of himself. A killing robot seeking out the next victim; and being a were-hyena doesn't help his killing urges which are usually drowned out by thinking of his family he wants, needs to protect. What's the point of hanging by a thread of going on a killing spree if you end up hurting your only family?

Banvot is a lot of things. But he'll never surrender even in the hardest times, so he's much like a leader and a soldier, someone to make the hard decisions but also someone who will fight til his last breath. You can see Ban however you'll like but know that his leaderly traits won't ever go away, no matter how fucked over he might seem or how weird or how confusing he is- because at the end of the day it won't matter. He grew up on his own so his insights are different, and difference shouldn't be shamed or judged, he's surviving and he's alive, different yes but alive. Strange yes, but alive nonetheless Banvot will always be someone who would never someone based on their appearance or what they did in the past; it's what they are doing now that will have his final thoughts. It might seem selfish that he refuses to be forgotten and would do something out of history but like I stated before; he's alive and that's what matters the most.

( His personality will be changing throughout the roleplay or any roleplay he will be in, that be offsite or onsite. So I made a stopping point for right now because I might come back later and add more)

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Back-story:

I would rather lie and tell you that Banvot was one in a million that had a perfect life, loving mother, crazy dad. But I already exposed half of his life so there is no point. Banvot had one mother, and one father who created him out of pure love; that's how most stories start out, but this love was quickly infested with poison once his mother found love in another, forcing his father to put his attention into his work than playing with Banvot. A life truly meant for someone who //enjoyed// to dance, hence the enjoyed part. A cruel way to start the life that was promised by two very consenting adults, but life wasn't done with Banvot. He lost his father who lost his mother who lost her mind; a recycled piece of trash keeping them from profiting. So leaving, Banvot found his father walk out a bit cliche, did he go get milk? So like any child, Banvot grew angry, and that anger grew into a mass ball of blackness filling his empty love and compassion; the bastard grew up to be the one you might know today but there's room for improvement.

Who did you expect this time? Did you expect some other guy to fly in on his black horse, stunning and lavish ‘fro and dark amber-like eyes to cure you all with his words? It’s the small things. There are many others with problems and you think that–that guy is the only one trying to prove something, you think he’s the only one to provide you with life and sorrow? You want to pity someone, pity Banvot–a man who didn’t just invent the word killer but let it consume him thoroughly. He wanted his life back, he needed his life to be worth something. So what did he do? Why are you asking me when he’s rambling in a nearby bar holding an empty glass and shouting,” I fucking hate fucking life! Life can kiss my ass, cause you know you–I know it– and he knows that life is just another piece of dog crap on the bottom of our shoes bothering the fuck out of us! Because we are too much of a (yessir)to deal with shit that keeps us from moving on and forgetting that our problems ever existed–!,” Pity him all you want, Banvot knew what he was saying, and even though his bar friends–or the people who he mistaken for his friends couldn’t see how hurt and defeated he looked because as always Banvot carried himself professional. He stared at the glass and smiled,” Take this glass, it’s empty…like all you little shit fucks– but it’s so pretty when it’s empty because nothing taints its figure or personality–but like everything else–,” He purposely dropped the glass and smiled as the loud shattering noise of its shape filled the openness of the bar–” What the fuck Ban!,”--” Hey get this man out of here”--” You have lost your damn mind!”. Yes, because the man with the right words could never be right, the man with the right logic is always seen to be the bastard in the group–he could never live up to their standards even if he killed himself with a shattered glass shard right now– because his death would have meant nothing to them. Banvot just enjoyed the rambling insults that were thrown his way,” Clearly you idiots couldn’t see a visual description–I showed you that your life means nothing if you can’t hold your shit together,” Did they miss the whole point of Banvot speech? Did they willingly refuse to understand him–” Banvot I swear to god if you and your moody edgy ass don’t leave this bar, I’m going to shove my foot up your ass,”--

“ I will gladly be in consent to that..”-- “ GET OUT FREAK!”

Kicked out of a public bar, Banvot didn’t need them– he could easily tumble his way to his condo. He didn’t need some below dirt idiots, they were idiots–idiots who knew nothing but what next place to get high and drunk in. Those idiots, ugh! Hands sliding through his hair, Banvot glasses slide halfway off his face as he took a deep shallow breath– drinking was never for him. He was a weak drunk– a shame since his mother could always hold her drinks….in her hand. If anything that bitch could have taught him how to drink properly without having an emotional break though, instead, she just neglected his need and yearn for being loved– leaving him with a father who wouldn’t pay attention to him because he was too busy taking care of his wife. He was also a bitch. Everyone who wasn’t Banvot was a bitch. Because why not? Why should they not be bitches in the mind of someone who was called many names including a bitch, fuckard, dumbassht? If anything he would name a few insults that could fit everyone but right now he tumbled and tumbled until he leaned against a brick store and laughed,” I’m so—fucking–stupid! I…left my keys—in my jacket,” He was wearing his jacket,” Oh wait– it was in my work pants–”, He was also wearing his work pants,” Wait I don’t have any keys–”, He does. Banvot laughed and slide to sit down on the ground as he kept his laughter loud and clear,” I forgot everything that used to matter, like my keys–my keys were something important–they had a role to play,” He crackled to himself as he shook his head allowing his glasses to slide from the bridge of his nose and land on the ground–easily breaking,” Cheap glasses, always breaking–this is why I use scotch tape on you–bastard glasses,” He reached for his glasses until a foot lightly pressed against his hand–he stared up and noticed a kid grinning down upon him,” Who are you–?” –” I’m your sugar daddy, behold greatness asshole,” Banvot raised a brow and pulled his hand from under their shoe–quickly grabbing his glasses and placing them back where they belonged; the stranger giggled lightly and fixed his glasses,” You look a little young to be my sugar daddy–,” Banvot pointed out bluntly making it clear he was obviously drunk by gesturing to his messy clothes,” Oh– well I’m just someone who was sent by someone to check on you, and that someone who is me needs their rent bill paid by the end of this month or that– I will be kicked out of their apartment,” Banvot wasn’t following, was the someone– who was worried about him was this kid– or was that someone who sent someone that someone him,” I’m sorry are we talking about someone I know– or someone you know?,” He had to ask for the sake of the conversion– the stranger didn’t look pleased, but instead of yelling like other people would do he gently offered a solution,” You’re are going to find someone with great beauty you fucking assard– this beauty is going to show you great things, things you will never forget,” Their gentle tone made Banvot come to his sense– slightly, he was still mentally calling his glasses that were still broken and sitting peacefully on his face a bastard. He gulped and smiled warmly,” There's someone out there for me– that’s what you mean right”--” I could mean a lot of things assard,” –” Look you little shit, I’m over here standing in my own sweat and I smell like I’ve been wrestling with pigs– if there is someone who would love me for me then I need a list of names and address,” The stranger crackled but once realizing how serious Banvot was– he was more concerned then before,” Sir….you can’t just go to this person–if it is a person home and demand to be loved,” He scoffed placing a hand on his hip and sighing,” Look, if you want to make it to heaven–don’t go stalking people you assard creep,” Banvot growled and grabbed the strange kid by the scruff of his shirt and glared at him,” Give me the first letter of their name, that’s all I need,” The kid removed Banvot grip and smiled childishly,” You really want to know huh? Are you turned on by the fact someone might like your ugly assard ass? Huh, you assard– are you turned on by that?,” They would coo.

At this point of being drunk and confused, Banvot nodded,” If that’s what you want me to be kid, then yes I’m so turned on but I’m going to need that first letter,” He waited. But it seemed the kid was just humming,” Who are you? You are the worst type of human being, you come to me stepping on my hand like I’m below you–

“ You are below me, my name is Exircrux and if you did have any brain cells in that skull you would know that I’m someone very important–,” He chimed proudly.

He had him! Banvot grinned weakly,” Okay Exir-crux…since your so damn important for a kid your age whats your story–,”

“ What–,”

“ You heard me you little shit– you're so certain you matter more than me but what’s what story? Where is your life? Huh, where do you go from here? Or are you just a side piece for someone like me and the person who brought you here?,” Bavont was just asking, lifting his arms in his own defense as Exircrux glared at him,” I matter! I…I uh…have alot of things to do after this– your just some drunk who can’t hold his balls when drinking! So ha old man!,” That look on Exircrux face made Banvot show a glint of excitement,” You have some attitude on you, okay so you say that someone– a beauty is going to come into my life? Is this beauty a girl..5’4..cute, just the basic,”

“ That was creepily specific asshat–,” Exircrux pointed out.

“ Yeah…shamefully that was..I have a type okay–plus women don’t find me the most….attractive guy–,”

“ I’m not here for your life story, just to see if you’re alive and breathing,” Exircrux waved dismissively toward Banvot who just sighed, fighting only makes it worst on his end; he nearly forgot this dude looked at least 18 years old; that age where being edgy and moody was a trend– and that scared Banvot,” Alright kid, go ahead and tell that someone I might–or might not know that I’m fine..and thanks for the heads up because death was looking real nice for a second,” He lightly joked but seemed Exircrux didn’t get it,” Uh nevermind,” He sat back down and blinked watching how the young man walked off into the shallow night.

(VERY rough...phew)