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 Amygdala
02:47:47 Amy/Anpmygdala
First litter and i got a DH
-WP Click-

It this keeps up i will run out of space lol
 Frozen Flowers
02:37:20 Dagon/Sheo/Moor
I'm so unsure of who should get Ajals attention for pups this round
 Frozen Flowers
02:35:26 Dagon/Sheo/Moor
Pretty
-WP Click-
 Rainbow River
02:32:31 River, they/them
That's a great name! *evil laugh* Really specific plant themed names are ETERNAL!!! hahahaha
 Frozen Flowers
02:32:03 Dagon/Sheo/Moor
Urux@
Didn't really want him I have no use XD I already have a nice amount of 1G good boys
 Urux
02:30:51 Urox, Uris
Frozen
Wow. That's so lucky haha
 Frozen Flowers
02:30:25 Dagon/Sheo/Moor
I think some call it Red pixie Lilac
 Rainbow River
02:30:08 River, they/them
Oh sorry! -WP Click-
 Frozen Flowers
02:29:18 Dagon/Sheo/Moor
Fire Lilac?
 Frozen Flowers
02:28:50 Dagon/Sheo/Moor
Didn't expect to win... now what
-WP Click-
 Rainbow River
02:27:15 River, they/them
name ideas for this girl? I'd love if they're flower/nature related!
 Frozen Mist
01:43:13 Frozen - Mist
Good. Get some sleep. ^.^
 CloudGazer
01:41:42 
well enjoy them i am heading to bed this time i am really going to try and fall asleep
 Frozen Mist
01:41:03 Frozen - Mist
Cloud,
I miiiiight have an explore problem. XD
 CloudGazer
01:40:46 
thats a lot of moves i had over 300 bones!
 Frozen Mist
01:38:55 Frozen - Mist
Cloud,
They uh... might be going to explore moves. :D
 CloudGazer
01:38:33 
i have a feeling they are going going gone.
 Frozen Mist
01:38:06 Frozen - Mist
Cloud,
o.o The bonesies.
 CloudGazer
01:37:24 
i sent you what i had i never use them so enjoy
 Frozen Mist
01:35:18 Frozen - Mist
Cloud,
>.> How dare you speak of bones when I wants them all.

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Forums > Socialize
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I need opinions/tips on my writingJune 22, 2022 08:42 PM


Firefox

Darkseeker
 
Posts: 3137
#2780784
Give Award
I crave validation, nah XD just kidding, although that is partly true. I am mostly looking for contrsuctive criticism on my writing, I see something wrong with it, I aim to get better.
So with that let me just link some examples and I would like it if y'all could comment some tips/criticism. (Compliments are okay also)
~~
Examples.
1. Raina's Story Wrote this today in my spare time-
3. took me four hours I need someone to proofread or something- help me out Raven's Story
~~
Let me know if The links don't work so I can fix them-
And note to the mods, I had no idea where to put this, if it's in the wrong sub forum please move for me, thank you.

Edited at June 23, 2022 01:19 AM by Firefox
I need opinions/tips on my writingJune 23, 2022 06:49 PM


Yuketa

Neutral
 
Posts: 1630
#2781080
Give Award
You could practice writing similes and integrating idioms into some places, if preferred.
There was an exercise we used to do in Creative Writing where the teacher would put up a picture on the projector screen of a location, like a cabin in the woods, or a marketplace, and we would write out a scene while incorporating the five senses into it.
"The woods were a little musty, and Aril observed particles of dust as they floated down the citrine sunbeams, like little boats cascading in slow motion down a titanic waterfall. It was just cold enough to make the hairs on the back of his neck stand up, and dull whatever he could smell of the place, but there was still that faint scent of an unnatural... thing. Something ancient and rotting, and not quite chemical although he almost tasted ammonia in the assaulting concoction. It was a substance hidden within the magical pretense of the abandoned cottage. He felt the coin in his pocket, his good luck charm; it had been with him through the ages, and its faces were worn smooth by his fiddlings. With a couple circles of his thumb over its edge, he hoped it would see him through to the end of this situation, too."
I'd write more but I just woke up and am headed for work lol.
One other piece of advice I guess is, read literature that you like and would want to emulate in your own writing, dissect it, even. What makes this scene powerful/emotional/feel hazardous? Are the protag's goals being realistically hindered by this or that, and are the stakes high enough? Etcetera.
Good luck!

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