Chatbox
 Taenau
02:53:26 Tae/DH Queen
I've noticed the text is bigger as well lol
 Arctic Moon
02:53:15 NY
Boe
I know. The text font and size seems to have changed. The explore battle text seems smaller too.
 Boeing
02:52:32 Boe is a bear, Rawr!
this feels so wierd, the "Jungle 61" text is so much bigger >.>
-Click-
 Nesta
02:52:23 Nes/Spider
I'm trying to get a viti
 Caeruleum
02:52:12 Cae, Blue
Damn, thats a lot :O congrats on the gang XD
 Cypress Road
02:51:03 Cy, love
I now have 18 axanthics.
 Continental Wolves
02:50:55 Emmet , Spoopy Wolf
-WP Click-
Can I get some paws on him?
 Boeing
02:50:40 Boe is a bear, Rawr!
why is the text around the site so much bigger ick-
 Forest Dwelling
02:49:55 I am on Wolflocke ok
Was probably too late to respond, whoops-
 Forest Dwelling
02:49:11 I am on Wolflocke ok
@Midnight

You can breed a boost randomly, but you have higher chances of getting one if at least one parent or a grandparent has a boost!
 Caeruleum
02:49:03 Cae, Blue
Happy to help!
 Midnight Pass
02:48:43 
Cae
Alright, thank you so much!
 Arctic Moon
02:48:15 NY
Did the text font in explore get changed? it seems weirdly smaller.
 Caeruleum
02:48:15 Cae, Blue
Midnight, yeah. If you breed boosted wolves, it increases the chance of pups inheriting it ^^
 Continental Wolves
02:47:59 Emmet , Spoopy Wolf
Spider
Ill be on the mission to get another G1 Chim 1
 Midnight Pass
02:46:49 
Cae
And does it happen radomly?
 Caeruleum
02:46:31 Cae, Blue
You cant boost it yourself :/
 Caeruleum
02:46:14 Cae, Blue
Midnight, the wolf needs to be born with a boost like elite speed or crushing strenght
 Caeruleum
02:45:43 Cae, Blue
Haven, are we the same person??? I literally got my masters as computer science teacher two months ago O.O
But that mindset is so real and lowkey enough to finish bothering with it so XD
 Midnight Pass
02:45:26 
Guys, how do I boost my wolf´s Battle to 250 maximum?

Refresh

You must be a registered member for more
than 1 day before you can use our chatbox.
Quests
Alliance Battles
Challenges

Hourly Damage Variances
Black Panther : +5
Wolverine : -3
Black Bear : +5
    Winter   Day  Weather:  Sunny
 


Forums

→ Wolf Play is a fun game! Sign Up Now!

My Subscriptions
My Bookmarks
My Topics
Latest Topics
Following
Forums > Socialize > Writer's Nook
   1 

Pack Life: A Short Fun ReadFebruary 26, 2024 10:45 PM


Former Pack

Neutral
 
Posts: 0
#2990982
Give Award
Characters: Tyr, Tala, Lyra

"I can't believe it."

Tala rolled her eyes. "Again with this?" she asked in irritation. "It's been aa entire day since it's happened. For the last time, FORGET IT."

"I simply can't!" Tyr whined. "You try having something that embarrassing happen to you! You'll never let go of it."

Tala sighed in exasperation. "Look Tyr, we all make mistakes. That's just life. You live with it and move on. Someday you'll laugh when you remember it."

Tyr, who had been laying on the ground, moping around the whole day, sprang to his feet and huffed, "I don't want to hear your little lessons on life. I'm going for a walk."

"It'll be good for you," Tala called out as Tyr left their den.

Lyra looked at Tala quizzically. It had only been a few days since she had joined Tala and Tyr's pack: The Mazie Pack. They were a small pack, just starting out. It was only the three of them, plus two pups, Lesia and Alita.

Tala sighed. "Lyra," she explained to the confused, older wolf, "before you joined our pack..." She paused and mused for a moment before continuing. "Wait, actually before even the pups joined, Tyr went border patrolling for the first time."

Lyra nodded. "Ah yes," she said wistfully. "I always wanted to go border patrolling - it was a special privilage, you see, only for the best of the best. That was in my previous pack, where I grew up in."

"Well, consider yourself hired." Tala said with a smirk. "I doubt Tyr wants to do it anymore, considering what happened to him."

Lyra cocked her head. "Yes? Was that what he was complaining about so loudly?"

Tala nodded and grinned. "So here's what happned: he went border patrolling, right? And when he gets there he sees this rabbit, a singular rabbit. He thinks 'Oh, I'm a wolf. That's a bunny. Wolves hunt bunnies. Bunnies are weak compared to wolves,' right? So what happened, naturally is that he tries to fight the bunny, the bunny bites him, he misses, and it flees. So when he comes home an hour later, he's injured and he has nothing to show for it."

Lyra raised an eyebrow. "So what I'm hearing is that Tyr got beat by a bunny."

"Yep."

Lyra whistled. "Wow, that really sucks for his ego."

"Yep"

Lyra smiled. "It's ok, I remember what happned to one of my previous pack's leader. She was doing a PvP and -"

"Guys, I'm back!" Tyr interrupted, bursting back into their den. He smiled broadly, and threw something down into the middle of the dirt floor. It was a dead rabbit.

Based on a true story. I sent Tyr to do the Border Patrol Game and he totally got bested by a rabbit. (It's ok, Tyr, I still love you❤️)


Edited at February 29, 2024 06:55 PM by Mazie
Pack Life: A Short Fun ReadFebruary 27, 2024 10:00 PM


Broken Dawn

Neutral
 
Posts: 2251
#2991772
Give Award
Nice story!
Pack Life: A Short Fun ReadFebruary 27, 2024 10:26 PM


TimesGhost

Neutral
 
Posts: 62
#2991805
Give Award
Alrighty! So! Here's the critique you asked for. I also went over your story and made a few edits and suggestions which will be below.

Starting with critiques, I firstly have to compliment your writing as a whole. You actually have a really solid style and great understanding of making a story flow smoothly. Most of my critiques and edits are just small things to keep in mind and to add that extra bit of smoothness (mostly from experience and learning what reads a touch better). You do a great job staying away from passive voice and making each sentence expressive. You used one adverb, which is impressive. Generally, reword sentences over using adverbs in the writing world, but personally, I think they're fine.

Overall, I don't really have much to critique or change. Most I can suggest outside the edits below is to now start leaning into setting. There isn't much, and you can really make a story pop by helping visualize the area.

~

Here are my edits:

"I can't believe it."

Tala rolled her eyes. "Again with this?" she asked irritatedly in irritation. "It's been an entire day since it's happened. For the last time, FORGET IT."

"I simply can't!" Tyr whined. "You try having something that embarrassing happen to you! You'll never let go of it."

Tala rolled her eyes (Consider her squinting or turning away in exasperation. She just rolled her eyes a few sentences before). "Look Tyr, we all make mistakes. That's just life. You live with it and move on. Someday you'll laugh when you remember it."

Tyr, who had been laying on the ground, moping around the whole day, jumped (“sprang” is a vibrant word to consider instead of jumped)to his feet and huffed, "I don't want to hear your little lessons on life. I'm going for a walk."

"It'll be good for you," Tala called out as Tyr left their den.

Lyra looked at Tala quizzically. It had only been a few days since she had joined Tala and Tyr's pack, named Mazie : The Mazie Pack. They were a small pack, just starting out. It was only them three the three of them, plus two pups: Lesia and Alita, who had also joined quite recently.

Tala sighed. "Lyra," she explained to the confused, older wolf, "before you joined our pack - wait, actually," she mused, "before even the pups joined, Tyr went border patrolling for the first time."

“Lyra," she explained to the confused, older wolf, "before you joined our pack…" She paused and mused for a moment before continuing. "Wait, actually, before even the pups joined, Tyr went border patrolling for the first time."

Lyra nodded. "Ah yes," she said wistfully. "I always wanted to go border patrolling - it was a special privilege, you see, only for the best of the best. That was in my previous pack, where I grew up in."

"Well, consider yourself hired," Tala said with a smirk. "I doubt Tyr wants to do it anymore, considering what happened to him."

Lyra cocked her head. "Yes? Was that what he was complaining about so loudly?"

Tala nodded and grinned. "So here's what happened: he went border patrolling, right? And when he gets there he sees this rabbit, a singular rabbit. He thinks 'Oh, I'm a wolf. That's a bunny. Wolves hunt bunnies. Bunnies are weak compared to wolves,' right? So what happened, naturally is that he tries to fight the bunny, the bunny bites him, he misses, and it flees. So when he comes home an hour later, he's injured and there he has nothing for him to show for it."

Lyra raised an eyebrow. "So what I'm hearing is that Tyr got beat by a bunny."

"Yep."

Lyra whistled. "Wow, that really sucks for his ego."

"Yep"

Lyra smiled. "It's ok, I remember what happened to one of my previous pack's leaders. She was doing a PvP and -"

"Guys, I'm back!" Tyr interrupted, bursting back into their den. He smiled broadly and threw something down into the middle of the dirt floor. It was a dead rabbit.


Edited at February 27, 2024 10:33 PM by TimesGhost
Pack Life: A Short Fun ReadFebruary 28, 2024 04:57 PM


Former Pack

Neutral
 
Posts: 0
#2992354
Give Award
Wow, this is amazing! I can tell you know a ton about creative writing. I can't express to you how helpful this is! I will definitely include your edits into my short story. Thank you so much!

Forums > Socialize > Writer's Nook
   1 

Refresh










Copyright ©2013-2024 Go Go Gatsby Designs, LLC    All Rights Reserved
Terms Of Use  |   Privacy Policy   |   DMCA   |   Contact Us