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 STS
02:52:40 TS, Speckles
aww only 2 days left, it was a good run ^^
 Purgatory
02:51:19 Purgatorio/Purge
holiday boost idea support? similar to how hellhounds worked, might help bring the apple market down to a reasonable price again
-WP Click-
 LeafClan
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Your boosted one bleak come check out my pack!
 Amygdala
02:40:28 Amy/Anpmygdala
Good night chat
 Amygdala
02:39:49 Amy/Anpmygdala
Well i need to go now chat, i work in the morning and i still have to wash my hair
 Bleak
02:39:26 bee or eek!
Leaf,

Really? I was thinking of breeding one of my females, but I couldn't decide who would be best...
 Amygdala
02:37:17 Amy/Anpmygdala
Cae
Well she is pretty so she stays with me XD

She will help keep my dominance high
 Caeruleum
02:36:42 Cae, Blue
Amy, i dont want vitis, especially with such long lines :')
 LeafClan
02:35:01 Leaf she/her
Bleak they are worth it!
 Bleak
02:34:19 bee or eek!
Are any of my wolves worth breeding? That is to say, are any of my wolves any good?
 Burning Roses
02:32:20 Your local therapist
Where are these stupid dragons >.>
 Hallow's Eve
02:31:52 Hallow, Eve
Amy

It went. I got enough done where I don't have to worry about it for awhile
 Amygdala
02:30:53 Amy/Anpmygdala
Plane
I need to wash my hair first lol
 Amygdala
02:30:37 Amy/Anpmygdala
Hallow
How did the essay go
 Boeing
02:30:25 Boe is a bear, Rawr!
Alright well Amt you should probably go sleep now I guess
 Hallow's Eve
02:29:52 Hallow, Eve
I am back
 Lazy Kingdom
02:29:08 Lazy, Crazy Cat Lady
Looking to do a Rp with someone! Any topic works! Please PM me :D!
 Boeing
02:28:45 Boe is a bear, Rawr!
Amt
Same
Rowan can't lose his older sister in the middle of WoW ToT
 Amygdala
02:27:47 Amy/Anpmygdala
Plane
I hope she pulls through
 LeafClan
02:27:37 Leaf she/her
DarkFollower lays their head on SandStorms back.

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Forums > Socialize
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I need opinions/tips on my writingJune 22, 2022 08:42 PM


Firefox

Darkseeker
 
Posts: 3137
#2780784
Give Award
I crave validation, nah XD just kidding, although that is partly true. I am mostly looking for contrsuctive criticism on my writing, I see something wrong with it, I aim to get better.
So with that let me just link some examples and I would like it if y'all could comment some tips/criticism. (Compliments are okay also)
~~
Examples.
1. Raina's Story Wrote this today in my spare time-
3. took me four hours I need someone to proofread or something- help me out Raven's Story
~~
Let me know if The links don't work so I can fix them-
And note to the mods, I had no idea where to put this, if it's in the wrong sub forum please move for me, thank you.

Edited at June 23, 2022 01:19 AM by Firefox
I need opinions/tips on my writingJune 23, 2022 06:49 PM


Yuketa

Neutral
 
Posts: 1598
#2781080
Give Award
You could practice writing similes and integrating idioms into some places, if preferred.
There was an exercise we used to do in Creative Writing where the teacher would put up a picture on the projector screen of a location, like a cabin in the woods, or a marketplace, and we would write out a scene while incorporating the five senses into it.
"The woods were a little musty, and Aril observed particles of dust as they floated down the citrine sunbeams, like little boats cascading in slow motion down a titanic waterfall. It was just cold enough to make the hairs on the back of his neck stand up, and dull whatever he could smell of the place, but there was still that faint scent of an unnatural... thing. Something ancient and rotting, and not quite chemical although he almost tasted ammonia in the assaulting concoction. It was a substance hidden within the magical pretense of the abandoned cottage. He felt the coin in his pocket, his good luck charm; it had been with him through the ages, and its faces were worn smooth by his fiddlings. With a couple circles of his thumb over its edge, he hoped it would see him through to the end of this situation, too."
I'd write more but I just woke up and am headed for work lol.
One other piece of advice I guess is, read literature that you like and would want to emulate in your own writing, dissect it, even. What makes this scene powerful/emotional/feel hazardous? Are the protag's goals being realistically hindered by this or that, and are the stakes high enough? Etcetera.
Good luck!

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