Wolf Play : I need opinions/tips on my writing
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 Apothecary
08:46:59 Medicinally Autistic
No they aren't. They really arent. My other job is ridiculously more clean.
 BuggyOs
08:45:50 Bugfood
Apoth
sadly many restaurants are like that.
 Apothecary
08:44:27 Medicinally Autistic
I scraped 3 inches of build up grease that was hard as a rock off the broiler and its still not even halfway clean.
 Apothecary
08:44:03 Medicinally Autistic
Never eating at 54th street again. We're doing renovations and we were coming in to clean.
 BuggyOs
08:43:20 Bugfood
Leon
yeah if you move too fast while running out of moves it happens
 Leon
08:42:32 
I somehow ended up with -1 moves in explore didn't know that was possible
 Feiella
08:38:16 Fei The Sleepy Ghost
Serpents
did Monster Dream survive?
 Serpents
08:34:56 Waterfall,Zane,Pixal
anyone up for an rp pm me
if anyone sees my wolves in explore pm me please
 Falling Stars
08:34:24 star, she/they
My slither just told me my score was added but i didn't click anything T^T
 Talen
08:34:19 gives newbie points
Tia -
There's an item that can change a pup from male to female
 Bobcat
08:32:24 (She) Cat {no bob}
Your wolves played: CL Deaf Twin 1 licks the face of Pumpkin of pack WolffHowlinton as they have a forbidden friendship.

Aww
 Ataraxia
08:31:31 Tia
Ghost- i will but its still sad. His sibling scored 70 the first time and hes male aswell xd
 Feiella
08:30:05 Fei The Sleepy Ghost
Tia
I would retire him but up to you
 Ataraxia
08:28:45 Tia
-WP Click- hes cute but WHY is he male??
 Dark Clan
08:27:59 
is there any specific traits that make your wolves/ pups good at howling/ wrestling?
 Archived Stars
08:25:40 Archive
40 bones from wolves I don't like (Aka... dud pups)
 kycantina
08:25:09 no. 1 swamp defender
FMC prices 🤢
 Kingwolf
08:17:21 King
Toothless x Light fury rp anyone? Pm me, please be able to play male
 Forest Dwelling
08:07:52 I am on Wolflocke ok
Votes?
-WP Click-
 Lost Rune
07:55:16 Losteen,Lost, Lovely
Welp I did it! Bought extra slots for a first.

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I need opinions/tips on my writingJune 22, 2022 08:42 PM


Firefox

Darkseeker
 
Posts: 3137
#2780784
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I crave validation, nah XD just kidding, although that is partly true. I am mostly looking for contrsuctive criticism on my writing, I see something wrong with it, I aim to get better.
So with that let me just link some examples and I would like it if y'all could comment some tips/criticism. (Compliments are okay also)
~~
Examples.
1. Raina's Story Wrote this today in my spare time-
3. took me four hours I need someone to proofread or something- help me out Raven's Story
~~
Let me know if The links don't work so I can fix them-
And note to the mods, I had no idea where to put this, if it's in the wrong sub forum please move for me, thank you.

Edited at June 23, 2022 01:19 AM by Firefox
I need opinions/tips on my writingJune 23, 2022 06:49 PM


Yuketa

Neutral
 
Posts: 1539
#2781080
Give Award
You could practice writing similes and integrating idioms into some places, if preferred.
There was an exercise we used to do in Creative Writing where the teacher would put up a picture on the projector screen of a location, like a cabin in the woods, or a marketplace, and we would write out a scene while incorporating the five senses into it.
"The woods were a little musty, and Aril observed particles of dust as they floated down the citrine sunbeams, like little boats cascading in slow motion down a titanic waterfall. It was just cold enough to make the hairs on the back of his neck stand up, and dull whatever he could smell of the place, but there was still that faint scent of an unnatural... thing. Something ancient and rotting, and not quite chemical although he almost tasted ammonia in the assaulting concoction. It was a substance hidden within the magical pretense of the abandoned cottage. He felt the coin in his pocket, his good luck charm; it had been with him through the ages, and its faces were worn smooth by his fiddlings. With a couple circles of his thumb over its edge, he hoped it would see him through to the end of this situation, too."
I'd write more but I just woke up and am headed for work lol.
One other piece of advice I guess is, read literature that you like and would want to emulate in your own writing, dissect it, even. What makes this scene powerful/emotional/feel hazardous? Are the protag's goals being realistically hindered by this or that, and are the stakes high enough? Etcetera.
Good luck!

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