Chatbox
 Ninjago Realm
11:44:34 Waterfall,Zane,Nya
Zane Julien and Kai splashes in a creek.
Stats: Social +3
Affinity: --- Strong Like
Mood: Playful

during an earthquake ??? do they have a death wish?? is it safe??
 Serpents
11:43:12 Waterfall,Zane,Pixal
Im off to sleep now or maybe just watching ninjago till I fall asleep
 Malcuth
11:42:14 Wander
-WP Click-
Paws up this sweet boy?
 Zeraphia
11:38:21 Space Pirate Captain
Ky

... XDD I will add another menace to my menagerie.
 kycantina
11:37:30 ky / dh hoarder
Vah, playful menace 1000%, broody isn't fun to hang out with
 Zeraphia
11:25:57 Space Pirate Captain
Hmm. What do y'all think?

Playful menace or broody-ish baddie?
 Zeraphia
11:22:30 Space Pirate Captain
Lackadaisy

... I could not. I could not function on that little sleep XD

I need my sleep lol
 Catori
11:21:16 Cat
Sorry 13 not 10 -.-
 Catori
11:20:30 Cat
I have had 10 litters pop today and not a single boost or defect :/
 Lackadaisy
11:19:30 
Vah,

Wow. Collected. My usual is going to bed around 1 (12GT), falling asleep at 2, and then getting thrown out of bed at 5.
 Zeraphia
11:18:24 Space Pirate Captain
Lackadaisy

Pffft mood.

I mean, it's not totally ruined-ruined, but it's not what it used to be either. I used to call it a night around 11:00 (midnight GT) and then I'd get up around 8 ish.

Not anymore lol
 Lackadaisy
11:13:40 
Vah,

Sleep schedule? What's that?

My Captain should really get on me, but in all honesty, I'm fairly sure his sleep schedule is as shit as mine.
 Serpents
11:12:22 Waterfall,Zane,Pixal
@Reaper ah Im like an hour behind GT and I mean sleep now 8am is early.. I have stuff to do in the morning mainly Dog kennle asistant ant my local Humane socity also I mean 11 is not that late did not just misspell a word no I Zane never
 Zeraphia
11:10:52 Space Pirate Captain
Lackadaisy

Oh man. The last few nights have *wrecked* what little sleep schedule I once had.
 The Reaper
11:09:14 Reaper / Grim
Zane
Me too. I'm on gt and I have an 8am in the morning...
 Lackadaisy
11:07:49 
Vah,

Sleep? What's that?
 Zeraphia
11:07:31 Space Pirate Captain
Sleep is good
 Serpents
11:06:04 Waterfall,Zane,Pixal
I should sleep soon
 Zeraphia
11:03:48 Space Pirate Captain
Lunar

Oooh nice!
 The Reaper
11:02:11 Reaper / Grim
Blu
What Vah said :3

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Forums > Socialize
   1 

I need opinions/tips on my writingJune 22, 2022 08:42 PM


Firefox

Darkseeker
 
Posts: 3137
#2780784
Give Award
I crave validation, nah XD just kidding, although that is partly true. I am mostly looking for contrsuctive criticism on my writing, I see something wrong with it, I aim to get better.
So with that let me just link some examples and I would like it if y'all could comment some tips/criticism. (Compliments are okay also)
~~
Examples.
1. Raina's Story Wrote this today in my spare time-
3. took me four hours I need someone to proofread or something- help me out Raven's Story
~~
Let me know if The links don't work so I can fix them-
And note to the mods, I had no idea where to put this, if it's in the wrong sub forum please move for me, thank you.

Edited at June 23, 2022 01:19 AM by Firefox
I need opinions/tips on my writingJune 23, 2022 06:49 PM


Yuketa

Neutral
 
Posts: 1700
#2781080
Give Award
You could practice writing similes and integrating idioms into some places, if preferred.
There was an exercise we used to do in Creative Writing where the teacher would put up a picture on the projector screen of a location, like a cabin in the woods, or a marketplace, and we would write out a scene while incorporating the five senses into it.
"The woods were a little musty, and Aril observed particles of dust as they floated down the citrine sunbeams, like little boats cascading in slow motion down a titanic waterfall. It was just cold enough to make the hairs on the back of his neck stand up, and dull whatever he could smell of the place, but there was still that faint scent of an unnatural... thing. Something ancient and rotting, and not quite chemical although he almost tasted ammonia in the assaulting concoction. It was a substance hidden within the magical pretense of the abandoned cottage. He felt the coin in his pocket, his good luck charm; it had been with him through the ages, and its faces were worn smooth by his fiddlings. With a couple circles of his thumb over its edge, he hoped it would see him through to the end of this situation, too."
I'd write more but I just woke up and am headed for work lol.
One other piece of advice I guess is, read literature that you like and would want to emulate in your own writing, dissect it, even. What makes this scene powerful/emotional/feel hazardous? Are the protag's goals being realistically hindered by this or that, and are the stakes high enough? Etcetera.
Good luck!

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