| |
Darkseeker
|
Welcome to Chat Open-Mic. That is for some reason being done in a forum. This is where Chat makes Cringey Jokes and they can I guess get points for it. Help me out, I don't want this to go away :( IMPORTANT: Because of Brett's hack you have to make your own jokes because what's the fun in copying and pasting? More jokes you post the better/more points! Current Winner: Brettdiesel! Funniest Joke Title: Long Wang Tenneoshet: 3 points! Brettdiesel: 17 points! Long Wang: 12 points! Cupid Dragon: 1 Point! FireStorm: 1 point! AquaMay: 7 Points! Dawnforest: 1 Point! Wolf Pride: 1 Point! Moonlight wolf: 2 points! |
|
|
| |
Neutral
|
*tap tap* This thing on? Alright. Here we go: ~ Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson decide to go on a camping trip. After dinner and a bottle of wine, they lay down for the night, and go to sleep. ~ Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend. ~ "Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see." ~ Watson replied, "I see millions of stars." ~ "What does that tell you?" ~ Watson pondered for a minute. ~ "Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets." "Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo." "Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three." "Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and that we are small and insignificant." "Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow." "What does it tell you, Holmes?" ~ Holmes was silent for a minute, then spoke: "Watson, you idiot. Someone has stolen our tent!" |
|  |
|
| |
Darkseeker
|
Congrats! You're winning XD
Tonneoshet said:
*tap tap* This thing on? Alright. Here we go: ~ Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson decide to go on a camping trip. After dinner and a bottle of wine, they lay down for the night, and go to sleep. ~ Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend. ~ "Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see." ~ Watson replied, "I see millions of stars." ~ "What does that tell you?" ~ Watson pondered for a minute. ~ "Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets." "Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo." "Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three." "Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and that we are small and insignificant." "Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow." "What does it tell you, Holmes?" ~ Holmes was silent for a minute, then spoke: "Watson, you idiot. Someone has stolen our tent!"
|
|
|
| |
Darkseeker
|
Congrats! You're winning XD
Tonneoshet said:
*tap tap* This thing on? Alright. Here we go: ~ Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson decide to go on a camping trip. After dinner and a bottle of wine, they lay down for the night, and go to sleep. ~ Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend. ~ "Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see." ~ Watson replied, "I see millions of stars." ~ "What does that tell you?" ~ Watson pondered for a minute. ~ "Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets." "Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo." "Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three." "Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and that we are small and insignificant." "Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow." "What does it tell you, Holmes?" ~ Holmes was silent for a minute, then spoke: "Watson, you idiot. Someone has stolen our tent!"
|
|
|
| |
Darkseeker
|
KnockKnock Whos There? Wyane Wyane who? Wyane the bath tub im drownding in here |
|
|
| |
Lightbringer
|
There are two athletes, a female who is tall and skinny, and a male who is long past his prime, with a potbelly and fat. They are camping together, ready for a biking exploration the next day to raise money for charity. They wake up and put on their athletic shorts. The male, when he puts on his shorts, they are tight. He thinks it's because he's sore from a day of biking the day before, but they just won't go over his bottom. He exits the tent, to find his wife, her shorts still fitting her despite the soreness yesterday. Not to mention the swelling. To their great relief, they discovered they had put on each other's nearly identical athletic shorts in the darkness and quickly made the switch without any embarrassments or the public noticing. |
|
|
| |
Darkseeker
|
XD
Long Wang said:
There are two athletes, a female who is tall and skinny, and a male who is long past his prime, with a potbelly and fat. They are camping together, ready for a biking exploration the next day to raise money for charity. They wake up and put on their athletic shorts. The male, when he puts on his shorts, they are tight. He thinks it's because he's sore from a day of biking the day before, but they just won't go over his bottom. He exits the tent, to find his wife, her shorts still fitting her despite the soreness yesterday. Not to mention the swelling. To their great relief, they discovered they had put on each other's nearly identical athletic shorts in the darkness and quickly made the switch without any embarrassments or the public noticing.
|
|
|
| |
Neutral
|
A loving couple had two little boys, ages 8 and 10, who were just terrible kids always getting in trouble. ~ Running out of ideas, they decided to look to the church. ~ They heard that a clergyman in town had been successful in disciplining children in the past, so they called him, and he agreed to give a shot. He asked to see the boys individually, so the eight-year-old was sent to meet with him first. The clergyman sat the boy down and asked him sternly, "Now where is God?" ~ The boy made no response, so the clergyman repeated the question even louder, "Where is God!?" ~ Again the boy made no attempt to answer, so the clergyman raised his voice even more and shook his finger in the boy's face, "WHERE IS GOD!?" ~ The boy suddenly ran out of the room, ran directly home, and slammed himself in his closet. His older brother followed him into the closet and said, "What happened?" ~ The younger brother replied, "We are in a BIG mess of trouble this time. God has gone missing and they think WE did it!" |
| |
|
| |
Darkseeker
|
XD XD XD
Tonneoshet said:
A loving couple had two little boys, ages 8 and 10, who were just terrible kids always getting in trouble. ~ Running out of ideas, they decided to look to the church. ~ They heard that a clergyman in town had been successful in disciplining children in the past, so they called him, and he agreed to give a shot. He asked to see the boys individually, so the eight-year-old was sent to meet with him first. The clergyman sat the boy down and asked him sternly, "Now where is God?" ~ The boy made no response, so the clergyman repeated the question even louder, "Where is God!?" ~ Again the boy made no attempt to answer, so the clergyman raised his voice even more and shook his finger in the boy's face, "WHERE IS GOD!?" ~ The boy suddenly ran out of the room, ran directly home, and slammed himself in his closet. His older brother followed him into the closet and said, "What happened?" ~ The younger brother replied, "We are in a BIG mess of trouble this time. God has gone missing and they think WE did it!"
|
|
|
| |
Lightbringer
|
There's a young female college student with a three year old. The child is a handful and constantly wants attention, exhausting the mother. when the mother's uncle offers to babysit and for her to get a pizza, she thankfully accepts. Full after pizza and a movie, she returns home to find her uncle on the couch, alone. The uncle says. "Your daughter makes great tea." Just then, you notice the tea set on the coffee table and your daughter enters, holding a cup with water filled to the brim in her hands. The water doesn't spill and she gives your uncle the "tea". You watch as your uncle chuggs the water and he smiles at you. You remain silent for a good five minutes until you finally say: "You do realize that the only source of water a three year old can reach is the toilet?" |
|
|
Winter 
Night 
