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 Zeraphia
11:28:30 Space Pirate Captain
Dusk

Oh nice! The colors are cool
 HighSociety
11:17:12 Dusk (she/her)
i finished my banner :)
-Click-
 Amygdala
11:12:09 Amy/Anpmygdala
Reaper
I have my sources e.e

Okay gotta head to work now

Bye guys
 The Reaper
11:11:39 Reaper / Grim
Amy
:O How did you know?!
 Amygdala
11:10:09 Amy/Anpmygdala
Reaper
I am imagining a minion from despicable me dressed as a reaper now lol
 The Reaper
11:09:17 Reaper / Grim
Daze
It ate EVERYTHING! I have never seen something do that before
 The Reaper
11:08:46 Reaper / Grim
Nux
It's okay, he's wormed his way into my ads XD

Not quite, I'm more of a minion, a reaper isn't a god but I appreciate the sentiment ;)
 Lackadaisy
11:08:34 Stray, LT | H/H
Oh my lordy, the cheese monster
 ~♥Nux♥~
11:07:23 You're just yellow
Reaper

You are a god o.o
 ~♥Nux♥~
11:07:05 You're just yellow
LT

Get out of my mic... I was literally coughing T^T
 Amygdala
11:06:42 Amy/Anpmygdala
Yay grape recognition ^^
 The Reaper
11:06:31 Reaper / Grim
Nux
Soft baked, made cheese dip too. It turned into a monster, Daze can confirm
 The Reaper
11:06:04 Reaper / Grim
Daze
You is bestie, yes three

Definitely not grape, but be segregated!
 Lackadaisy
11:06:01 Stray, LT | H/H
Who the fuck is

c o u g h i n g

At

00:05 in the morning -
 Stardust Hurricane
11:05:34 Leon (They/Them)
Well goodnight.
 ~♥Nux♥~
11:05:22 You're just yellow
Reaper

Were they crunchy or soft baked pretzels?
 Zeraphia
11:04:25 Space Pirate Captain
Can't make me join nothing XD

Starting it--okay that's different.
 Lackadaisy
11:04:23 Stray, LT | H/H
Kryuk,

Aww, I get three?

..fine, we can coexist. But I refuse to be grape. Red-blue segregation
 Amygdala
11:04:18 Amy/Anpmygdala
Poor purple always left behind XD

Hey mal
 Malpha
11:03:37 St. Algo's Pack/Mal
Haha! The wolf realtor is back in business XD

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Chatbox
 Zeraphia
11:28:30 Space Pirate Captain
Dusk

Oh nice! The colors are cool
 HighSociety
11:17:12 Dusk (she/her)
i finished my banner :)
-Click-
 Amygdala
11:12:09 Amy/Anpmygdala
Reaper
I have my sources e.e

Okay gotta head to work now

Bye guys
 The Reaper
11:11:39 Reaper / Grim
Amy
:O How did you know?!
 Amygdala
11:10:09 Amy/Anpmygdala
Reaper
I am imagining a minion from despicable me dressed as a reaper now lol
 The Reaper
11:09:17 Reaper / Grim
Daze
It ate EVERYTHING! I have never seen something do that before
 The Reaper
11:08:46 Reaper / Grim
Nux
It's okay, he's wormed his way into my ads XD

Not quite, I'm more of a minion, a reaper isn't a god but I appreciate the sentiment ;)
 Lackadaisy
11:08:34 Stray, LT | H/H
Oh my lordy, the cheese monster
 ~♥Nux♥~
11:07:23 You're just yellow
Reaper

You are a god o.o
 ~♥Nux♥~
11:07:05 You're just yellow
LT

Get out of my mic... I was literally coughing T^T
 Amygdala
11:06:42 Amy/Anpmygdala
Yay grape recognition ^^
 The Reaper
11:06:31 Reaper / Grim
Nux
Soft baked, made cheese dip too. It turned into a monster, Daze can confirm
 The Reaper
11:06:04 Reaper / Grim
Daze
You is bestie, yes three

Definitely not grape, but be segregated!
 Lackadaisy
11:06:01 Stray, LT | H/H
Who the fuck is

c o u g h i n g

At

00:05 in the morning -
 Stardust Hurricane
11:05:34 Leon (They/Them)
Well goodnight.
 ~♥Nux♥~
11:05:22 You're just yellow
Reaper

Were they crunchy or soft baked pretzels?
 Zeraphia
11:04:25 Space Pirate Captain
Can't make me join nothing XD

Starting it--okay that's different.
 Lackadaisy
11:04:23 Stray, LT | H/H
Kryuk,

Aww, I get three?

..fine, we can coexist. But I refuse to be grape. Red-blue segregation
 Amygdala
11:04:18 Amy/Anpmygdala
Poor purple always left behind XD

Hey mal
 Malpha
11:03:37 St. Algo's Pack/Mal
Haha! The wolf realtor is back in business XD




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Forums > Socialize
   1    2 

I dont wanna be a broke college student :)December 31, 2022 06:34 PM


Former Pack

Neutral
 
Posts: 0
#2846005
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Getting straight into it. I have this little scholarship essay, a looming due date, and nobody to look over it for me. Help?

Prompt: What are your education and Career Goals? How do you plan on impacting your community in the future?

Essay: Min- 250. Max-500. Current- 261

Revised: 258 words.

My name is []. I'm a senior at [] High School, and my goal, once I graduate, is to pursue an Associate Degree in Baking and Pastry Arts and a Bachelor's in Food and Beverage Management at [] & [] University. This will prepare me for owning my own business in the future. What made me desire a career in this field? My passion for baking, as well as the sheer joy I felt when seeing others enjoy the dishes I made The happiness that I was able to create using nothing but my hands and mediocre skills gave me a sense of fulfillment. I then knew that, unlike other hobbies I had tried, this was what I truly enjoyed and wished to spend time furthering my knowledge of. When I first had the thought of owning my own business, I didn't think of doing much with it. Before long, I began to think of all the good I could do for those in situations that I could have been in, had I not been so fortunate. My wish is to create a community filled with acceptance and warmth by using any business I create. What I wish to do is hire certain nonviolent criminals and those who are beginning to age out of the foster care system, therefore giving a second chance to those who need it. This scholarship would allow me to gain the skills necessary to not only survive but thrive in my chosen field, as well as use my experience to help others thrive.


Edited at December 31, 2022 08:21 PM by Flower Field
I dont wanna be a broke college student :)December 31, 2022 06:43 PM


Former Pack

Neutral
 
Posts: 0
#2846007
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It's good, but I feel like there are still some things you could improve
I dont wanna be a broke college student :)December 31, 2022 06:46 PM


Wilted

Darkseeker
 
Posts: 376
#2846008
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Heyo, I would replace a bit of your wording;
"while also" -> "in addition to",
"Before too long, however," -> "Not too long after".
Apologies if this was vague or didn't make sense, I'm a little tired hehe. There's a whole list somewhere, but I forgot what it's called.
However if your school has a career center or similar, I do recommend going there or asking a trusted teacher!
I dont wanna be a broke college student :)December 31, 2022 06:54 PM


Former Pack

Neutral
 
Posts: 0
#2846010
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It does help! Also, I wish I could ask a teacher to look it over but the due date is before winter break is over so most of my teachers aren't checking their email.

Wilted said:
Heyo, I would replace a bit of your wording;
"while also" -> "in addition to",
"Before too long, however," -> "Not too long after".
Apologies if this was vague or didn't make sense, I'm a little tired hehe. There's a whole list somewhere, but I forgot what it's called.
However if your school has a career center or similar, I do recommend going there or asking a trusted teacher!


I dont wanna be a broke college student :)December 31, 2022 07:08 PM


Former Pack

Neutral
 
Posts: 0
#2846016
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--

Edited at December 31, 2022 07:53 PM by Flower Field
I dont wanna be a broke college student :)December 31, 2022 07:20 PM


Wilted

Darkseeker
 
Posts: 376
#2846020
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Hmm, have you tried reading this out loud? There's a lot of commas/pauses. I wouldn't exactly try to compress everything into one sentence, as that can be a mouthful (brainful? I'm still tired).
Try splitting them up a bit?
I dont wanna be a broke college student :)December 31, 2022 08:30 PM


Former Pack

Neutral
 
Posts: 0
#2846032
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Try to change "What made me desire a career in this field? My passion for baking, as well as the sheer joy I felt when seeing others enjoy the dishes I made" to:
My passion for baking made me desire a career in this field, as well as the sheer joy I felt when seeing others enjoy the dishes I made.
I dont wanna be a broke college student :)December 31, 2022 08:33 PM


Former Pack

Neutral
 
Posts: 0
#2846033
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Be sure to add a period between 'made' and 'the'
My passion for baking, as well as the sheer joy I felt when seeing others enjoy the dishes I made The happiness that I was able to create using nothing but my hands and mediocre skills gave me a sense of fulfillment.
Should be
My passion for baking, as well as the sheer joy I felt when seeing others enjoy the dishes I made. The happiness that I was able to create using nothing but my hands and mediocre skills gave me a sense of fulfillment.
I dont wanna be a broke college student :)December 31, 2022 08:34 PM


Former Pack

Neutral
 
Posts: 0
#2846035
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I'm just pointing out minor things that need to be fixed for now
I dont wanna be a broke college student :)December 31, 2022 08:35 PM


Former Pack

Neutral
 
Posts: 0
#2846036
Give Award
Wow, kinda embarrassed I didn't notice I forgot a period lol
Also, I appreciate any and all help!

Edited at December 31, 2022 08:36 PM by Flower Field

Forums > Socialize
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