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 Feiella
04:15:25 Pack of Sharp Snap
need to feed shark her breakfast
 Catori
04:11:07 Cat
Hahahaha
 Amygdala
04:10:36 Amy/Anpmygdala
Fei
Don't tell others but they are secretly cowards XD
Just kidding...i have some of my wolves on pursue to train trainees
 Serpents
04:09:54 Waterfall,Zane,Pixal
anyone up for an rp pm me
 Feiella
04:09:35 Pack of Sharp Snap
Amy
why are your wolves running away?
 Leo
04:08:51 Leo | Bear say rawr
Person i don't know
Well i was just about to ask why the hell we have no nicknames for each other but on the other side i don't know you o.O
 Boeing
04:08:24 Boe is a bear, Rawr!
Amt
oh xD
 Amygdala
04:07:57 Amy/Anpmygdala
Plane
Pursue.......
 Boeing
04:07:43 Boe is a bear, Rawr!
Amt
... why did you flee e.e
 Boeing
04:07:31 Boe is a bear, Rawr!
Oh my god xD
-Click-
 Amygdala
04:07:20 Amy/Anpmygdala
🤦‍♀️
 The Reaper
04:06:36 Reaper / Grim
Do I write a character sheet or work on some new designs?
 Boeing
04:06:25 Boe is a bear, Rawr!
wait we're at PvP battle 299997 right now o.o
almost at 3000000
 Catori
04:04:55 Cat
Leo

Oh right, I don't know you xD
 Amygdala
04:04:52 Amy/Anpmygdala
Plane
Lmao
I have a plan...anyone knows a gear that hides HH's flames e.e
 Boeing
04:04:00 Boe is a bear, Rawr!
Amt
-Click-
 Leo
04:03:49 Leo | Bear say rawr
747
Thanks!! It ended up being a completely different wolf that wasn't even in the raffle </3 Sorry lol
Catori offered this one to me xD

Amygo
Thanks! Pinky wolf <3

Catori
By the way you forgot we're secret PM friends lmao xDD
 Amygdala
04:03:07 Amy/Anpmygdala
Plane
So to fight you with my HH i just need to hide the flames and you wouldn't notice...nice
 Nobachey
04:03:00 Call me anything
Boe
Oh that's interesting
 Amygdala
04:02:13 Amy/Anpmygdala
Chey
Don't worry about it ;)
Fight are public anyway

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Chatbox
 Feiella
04:15:25 Pack of Sharp Snap
need to feed shark her breakfast
 Catori
04:11:07 Cat
Hahahaha
 Amygdala
04:10:36 Amy/Anpmygdala
Fei
Don't tell others but they are secretly cowards XD
Just kidding...i have some of my wolves on pursue to train trainees
 Serpents
04:09:54 Waterfall,Zane,Pixal
anyone up for an rp pm me
 Feiella
04:09:35 Pack of Sharp Snap
Amy
why are your wolves running away?
 Leo
04:08:51 Leo | Bear say rawr
Person i don't know
Well i was just about to ask why the hell we have no nicknames for each other but on the other side i don't know you o.O
 Boeing
04:08:24 Boe is a bear, Rawr!
Amt
oh xD
 Amygdala
04:07:57 Amy/Anpmygdala
Plane
Pursue.......
 Boeing
04:07:43 Boe is a bear, Rawr!
Amt
... why did you flee e.e
 Boeing
04:07:31 Boe is a bear, Rawr!
Oh my god xD
-Click-
 Amygdala
04:07:20 Amy/Anpmygdala
🤦‍♀️
 The Reaper
04:06:36 Reaper / Grim
Do I write a character sheet or work on some new designs?
 Boeing
04:06:25 Boe is a bear, Rawr!
wait we're at PvP battle 299997 right now o.o
almost at 3000000
 Catori
04:04:55 Cat
Leo

Oh right, I don't know you xD
 Amygdala
04:04:52 Amy/Anpmygdala
Plane
Lmao
I have a plan...anyone knows a gear that hides HH's flames e.e
 Boeing
04:04:00 Boe is a bear, Rawr!
Amt
-Click-
 Leo
04:03:49 Leo | Bear say rawr
747
Thanks!! It ended up being a completely different wolf that wasn't even in the raffle </3 Sorry lol
Catori offered this one to me xD

Amygo
Thanks! Pinky wolf <3

Catori
By the way you forgot we're secret PM friends lmao xDD
 Amygdala
04:03:07 Amy/Anpmygdala
Plane
So to fight you with my HH i just need to hide the flames and you wouldn't notice...nice
 Nobachey
04:03:00 Call me anything
Boe
Oh that's interesting
 Amygdala
04:02:13 Amy/Anpmygdala
Chey
Don't worry about it ;)
Fight are public anyway




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Forums > Socialize
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I need opinions/tips on my writingJune 22, 2022 08:42 PM


Firefox

Darkseeker
 
Posts: 3137
#2780784
Give Award
I crave validation, nah XD just kidding, although that is partly true. I am mostly looking for contrsuctive criticism on my writing, I see something wrong with it, I aim to get better.
So with that let me just link some examples and I would like it if y'all could comment some tips/criticism. (Compliments are okay also)
~~
Examples.
1. Raina's Story Wrote this today in my spare time-
3. took me four hours I need someone to proofread or something- help me out Raven's Story
~~
Let me know if The links don't work so I can fix them-
And note to the mods, I had no idea where to put this, if it's in the wrong sub forum please move for me, thank you.

Edited at June 23, 2022 01:19 AM by Firefox
I need opinions/tips on my writingJune 23, 2022 06:49 PM


Yuketa

Neutral
 
Posts: 1700
#2781080
Give Award
You could practice writing similes and integrating idioms into some places, if preferred.
There was an exercise we used to do in Creative Writing where the teacher would put up a picture on the projector screen of a location, like a cabin in the woods, or a marketplace, and we would write out a scene while incorporating the five senses into it.
"The woods were a little musty, and Aril observed particles of dust as they floated down the citrine sunbeams, like little boats cascading in slow motion down a titanic waterfall. It was just cold enough to make the hairs on the back of his neck stand up, and dull whatever he could smell of the place, but there was still that faint scent of an unnatural... thing. Something ancient and rotting, and not quite chemical although he almost tasted ammonia in the assaulting concoction. It was a substance hidden within the magical pretense of the abandoned cottage. He felt the coin in his pocket, his good luck charm; it had been with him through the ages, and its faces were worn smooth by his fiddlings. With a couple circles of his thumb over its edge, he hoped it would see him through to the end of this situation, too."
I'd write more but I just woke up and am headed for work lol.
One other piece of advice I guess is, read literature that you like and would want to emulate in your own writing, dissect it, even. What makes this scene powerful/emotional/feel hazardous? Are the protag's goals being realistically hindered by this or that, and are the stakes high enough? Etcetera.
Good luck!

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