Chatbox
 Boeing
09:40:31 Boe is a bear, Rawr!
Aci
Welp xD
Goodbye low gen

Red
... right god point, the generation counter broke
... well good luck going through the 117G wolf
 Red River Wolves
09:39:21 Redd Dead
Boe,
I wish
 Aci
09:37:36 Aci
Boeing, I won't lie I wasn't going to breed her intentionally to him but the wolf I would have is already bred so umm oops xD
 Boeing
09:37:00 Boe is a bear, Rawr!
Red
You got this lmao
Only... 57 generations to go
 Red River Wolves
09:36:07 Redd Dead
I am almost halfway there
 Boeing
09:36:02 Boe is a bear, Rawr!
Aci
... fair point I guess
It's kind of ironic to be breeding low gen wolves to 50+G wolves though lol
like... nope, I don't care about the generation ;-;
 Graywing
09:35:37 Slate, Gray
Bye chat!!
 Aci
09:34:32 Aci
Boeing her lines and defect, plus she's one of the very few I haven't bred yet xD
But he also has my old account's custom call Split!
 Qyusen
09:33:39 Qyu - all pronouns
-Click-
Drew them again because i adore them
Still looking for name suggestions too :)
 Boeing
09:32:14 Boe is a bear, Rawr!
Aci
What was the point of using a G3 wolf XD
 Aci
09:30:09 Aci
Boeing, I just need to find the other wolves now xD
-WP Click-
She is bred to the wolf I found xD
 Boeing
09:26:21 Boe is a bear, Rawr!
Aci
raagh xD
At least you found one lol
can I see?
 Aci
09:25:15 Aci
I found a wolf with Miris' o.o
 fawnings
09:22:50 
hi everyone! x3
 Boeing
09:21:22 Boe is a bear, Rawr!
Red
What the- you're right
...
Generation numbers be going down lmfao
oh god ;-;
 Red River Wolves
09:19:27 Redd Dead
Boe,
Very early on I noticed the G117 had pups yesterday that are... G109
 Boeing
09:16:16 Boe is a bear, Rawr!
Red
Yikes lmao
Seen anything interesting yet?
 EkaterinaGoldstone
09:15:15 Kate/Gold
Oh ugh I just realized the owner of the female that bred my boy lost the pups from no den space. I wanted to see what he'd make ;-;
 Bruiser
09:14:59 oi
-Click-

just finished this B)
 Red River Wolves
09:14:47 Redd Dead
Oh my. The G117 is a lie. It's actually quite longer

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Forums > Socialize
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I need opinions/tips on my writingJune 22, 2022 08:42 PM


Firefox

Darkseeker
 
Posts: 3137
#2780784
Give Award
I crave validation, nah XD just kidding, although that is partly true. I am mostly looking for contrsuctive criticism on my writing, I see something wrong with it, I aim to get better.
So with that let me just link some examples and I would like it if y'all could comment some tips/criticism. (Compliments are okay also)
~~
Examples.
1. Raina's Story Wrote this today in my spare time-
3. took me four hours I need someone to proofread or something- help me out Raven's Story
~~
Let me know if The links don't work so I can fix them-
And note to the mods, I had no idea where to put this, if it's in the wrong sub forum please move for me, thank you.

Edited at June 23, 2022 01:19 AM by Firefox
I need opinions/tips on my writingJune 23, 2022 06:49 PM


Yuketa

Neutral
 
Posts: 1671
#2781080
Give Award
You could practice writing similes and integrating idioms into some places, if preferred.
There was an exercise we used to do in Creative Writing where the teacher would put up a picture on the projector screen of a location, like a cabin in the woods, or a marketplace, and we would write out a scene while incorporating the five senses into it.
"The woods were a little musty, and Aril observed particles of dust as they floated down the citrine sunbeams, like little boats cascading in slow motion down a titanic waterfall. It was just cold enough to make the hairs on the back of his neck stand up, and dull whatever he could smell of the place, but there was still that faint scent of an unnatural... thing. Something ancient and rotting, and not quite chemical although he almost tasted ammonia in the assaulting concoction. It was a substance hidden within the magical pretense of the abandoned cottage. He felt the coin in his pocket, his good luck charm; it had been with him through the ages, and its faces were worn smooth by his fiddlings. With a couple circles of his thumb over its edge, he hoped it would see him through to the end of this situation, too."
I'd write more but I just woke up and am headed for work lol.
One other piece of advice I guess is, read literature that you like and would want to emulate in your own writing, dissect it, even. What makes this scene powerful/emotional/feel hazardous? Are the protag's goals being realistically hindered by this or that, and are the stakes high enough? Etcetera.
Good luck!

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