Scientists say, “This was an incredibly surprising discovery! If there was extraterrestrial life, we were certain they would be microorganisms such as bacteria, not sentient canines.”

Popular media says, “This was an incredibly surprising discovery! If there was extraterrestrial life, we would expect them to be little green men, not wolves.”

But of course uneducated humans would think of aliens as humanoids. Humans always think everything is about themselves.

These “sentient canines” living on Mars are so sophisticated they can even write magazines. A representative for Earthen space exploration, Starman from Space Tesla, says, “We discovered this alien magazine about alien discovery. It seems that these aliens can break the fourth dimension and may possibly possess powers of precognition.”

Have you ever wondered which WolfPlay character is the richest of them all?

The obvious assumption is Eve. When your wolves mug and kill animals in explore, the amount of mushrooms your wolves gain from an animal is whatever money they’re carrying in their pockets, and out of all NPCs, Eve always has the biggest wallet with the most amount of mushrooms. From Eve also comes the greatest form of wealth: knowledge. Eve is also the only known the only to have broken the fourth wall. Outside of WolfPlay lore, she is the creator of the multi-billion dollar mushroom Internet-based franchise known as WolfPlay and she has become WolfPlay’s most pawpular player, known as SixBears.

However, there are other contenders for the richest, one of them being Bidoo. Who knows what he’s doing with all these bones. Some suspect he might be using the bones as fertilizer to grow the flowers he sells. Others speculate he is extracting genetic material from stem cells found in the marrow to create eye-dyes, a ground-breaking invention that changes not only a wolf’s eye color but also their genes.

Montak says: “Bidoo owns an infinite acres of boneyards and flower meadows that are available for sale to every player and every wolf… Sounds suspicious to me. Bidoo showed up from nowhere yet quickly became rich and popular. He’s like Jay Gatsby. No one really knows anything about him, not even his, I mean, their, gender.”

Montak is also a big shot and a bit of an economic mystery himself. He has a seemingly endless amount of mushrooms and no one knows where they come from since he is only ever spotted in the desert, the terrain least hospitable to mushrooms. Yet the day Montak runs out of mushrooms is the day WP’s economy collapses. He is WP’s biggest spender and every day, he buys thousands of relics from thousands of players. Some believe that Montak has learned how a spell from La Loba witch that can conjure mushrooms out of thin air.

Yet revenue made from relics is only pocket change compared the money players spend buying items in Barter. Who could be richer than the owner of Barter, which sells everything from maps to wings? Although almost every player has a market, Barter is the only supermarket, with every item in infinite stock. “Who else sells explorer maps and stare downs? Just about nobody,” concerned consumer complains. “Barter essentially has a monopoly on many items. WolfPlay needs anti-trust laws.” Who is the mysterious boss of Barter? It can’t be SixBears because her Market Den never has anything. Some speculate that the mysterious News Wolf is the one behind Barter:

<div style="text-align: center;">Need duds? We sell them!

WolfPlay seems to have been plagued by an epidemic of compulsive hoarding. Montak hoardes antiquities. Bidoo hoardes bones. Many players are self-proclaimed hoarders of wolves, mush, art, characters, you name it, and some are even proud to show off their accumulation of wealth and/or creativity.

Yet, hoarding is not something to be proud of. It shouldn’t be normalized. According to WebMD, hoarding may be a symptom of obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD), generalized anxiety disorder (GAD), attention deficit disorder (ADD), depression, lung cancer, or hoarding could even be its own disorder. If you suspect that you or a beloved one is hoarding, please consult a certified therapist as soon as possible. This promotion of a self-destructive behavior, along with the misuse of the words “hoard / hoarder / hoarding,” must be stopped.

As the Full Moon Celebration approaches, explore levels are expected to peak and with it, injuries. We all know how injuries can be cured using the methodically prepared medicinal concoctions known as “healing potions”, yet the question of why robin feathers can heal any injury is more difficult to solve. But after years of research, scientists have now found the answer.

Robins live off a steady diet of worms, basil, rosemary, caraway, mint, chervil, and cilantro. Much of their diet is composed of the same ingredients used to make injury healing potions, and as the old adage goes, you are what you eat. So, robins are essentially all three potions combined into one, another evidence towards how nature can offer hidden health solutions, lessening the need for manwolf-made concoctions.

To attract robins, grow herbs as bait and hope they leave a feather as they fly around. We advise that you grow herbs not in greenhouses, which are inconvenient for wild birds as well as basic members, but rather in gardens, such as your memorial garden. After all, there are sure to be plenty of worms crawling out of your dead wolves’ corpses, which will further attract these beautiful birds.

<div align="center">Can’t get that elusive 1200+ score on Wordcraft to get your extra 20 mush? Hire a professional lexicon artist to do Wordcraft for you, for FREE!

We at Martians’ Mad Magazine respect the voice of the people and are proud to present the most profound revelations of today's era, made by people like you! Here are some of our top picks:

“We’re all living in a matrix, HELP! Just a couple days ago one could buy roses for one mush, but now… the cheapest are over a hundred mushrooms! That’s over a 10,000% increase. I find it hard to believe that such a drastic change could happen so quickly without outer-dimensional interference. What is the value of a rose? What is the value of a mushroom? What is the value of ME? Has consumerism gone too far and created a negative impact?” - concerned consumer

"Eve gives two customizable starter wolves, 100 mush, 15 den spaces, and a hot spring to every new player… she gives the same amount of resources regardless of a player’s work ethic, values, or even their allegiance. In fact, I seriously doubt she is a Lightbringer. At best, she is a Neutral, at worst, a communist." - anonymous pack (to protect identity)

“You know what’s overrated? Defects. What is a blind or a hydrocephalus ridden wolf going to do for your pack? Do you think albinos and melas are going to be better camoflauged and good for hunting? Most defected wolves just sit around in dens doing nothing but eating, drinking, and making babies. I don’t understand why packs actually give a crap and bother to give them kind, loving homes. They’re so expensive yet compared to non-defected wolves, they tend to be worse at hunting, battling, anything useful… all a defect is good for is breeding to propagate their genes and further drain players’ resources. Stop prizing defect wolves just because they're "special" or "minorities". - AngrySaltyBreeder

​“There is bugs, Wofpay has speling typoes, like Pregnant shoud actualley be speled pregaganant.” - Yahooer