Chatbox
 Boo
04:25:02 Chrissy
i don't get it but i'll take a bearded lady as well, please and thank you. <3
 Enigma
04:25:00 
Red!! Are you shooting for another high score omg, I see you're at 20k already. How long have you been busting it? In fall no less
 LeafClan
04:24:31 Leaf she/her
I am not that funny....
 Enigma
04:22:55 
HAHA can someone put LeafClans chat in chat posts I don't have my laptop and that made me LOL
 Enigma
04:21:54 
The one pup was a light fallow SV! Hey Boe and Boo <3 honestly I'd prefer one kid to survive the ordeal but obviously not realistic. Maybe it could die in childbirth
 Red River Wolves
04:21:09 Redd Dead
Enigma,
That certainly... is a dream
 Boo
04:19:27 Chrissy
enigma,
dude, imagine.
 Boeing
04:19:17 Boe is a bear, Rawr!
Hi Enigma :D
 LeafClan
04:18:31 Leaf she/her
Where is beard of a woman when I need it shit.....
 Enigma
04:18:26 
I had a dream Eve added an update where wolves can give birth to their pups when they die. My wolf died of poison?! and managed to give birth to one pup before kicking it. When you went to the den page it displayed their dead body on the ground
 LeafClan
04:16:38 Leaf she/her
Winters Fire tackles Ravensrun down a hill.
 DarkClaw
04:16:27 Dark
Um, what-? Do wolves have computers? : NightWhispers sits down and starts to play Wolfplay on their computer. (4th wall breaking)
Stats: Wisdom +3
Mood: Smart
 Boeing
04:15:31 Boe is a bear, Rawr!
Leo
We shall see xD
 Leo
04:13:37 Back from hiatus
lol goodnight 747, i expect being in your shotouts tomorrow lmao (joking... But no seriously)
 Forest Dwelling
04:12:56 I am on Wolflocke ok
Your wolves played: Julia is moody and Rubellite tries to cheer them up but gets slapped.

And just like that, my perfect pack happiness is shattered...
 Boeing
04:12:34 Boe is a bear, Rawr!
Goodnight to all the europeans :D
 Leo
04:11:16 Back from hiatus
I should sleep too o.o I have to get up in 5½ hours too xD
 LeafClan
04:09:21 Leaf she/her
I am broke as frick..
400 mush........
 Amygdala
04:08:02 Amy/Anpmygdala
Alarm is set...exacly 5h 23 to sleep

This is fiiiineeeee

Goodnight for real now
 Boeing
04:07:14 Boe is a bear, Rawr!
Amt go sleep >.>
I'll see you at 4:40 later

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Forums > Socialize
   1 

I need opinions/tips on my writingJune 22, 2022 08:42 PM


Firefox

Darkseeker
 
Posts: 3137
#2780784
Give Award
I crave validation, nah XD just kidding, although that is partly true. I am mostly looking for contrsuctive criticism on my writing, I see something wrong with it, I aim to get better.
So with that let me just link some examples and I would like it if y'all could comment some tips/criticism. (Compliments are okay also)
~~
Examples.
1. Raina's Story Wrote this today in my spare time-
3. took me four hours I need someone to proofread or something- help me out Raven's Story
~~
Let me know if The links don't work so I can fix them-
And note to the mods, I had no idea where to put this, if it's in the wrong sub forum please move for me, thank you.

Edited at June 23, 2022 01:19 AM by Firefox
I need opinions/tips on my writingJune 23, 2022 06:49 PM


Yuketa

Neutral
 
Posts: 1675
#2781080
Give Award
You could practice writing similes and integrating idioms into some places, if preferred.
There was an exercise we used to do in Creative Writing where the teacher would put up a picture on the projector screen of a location, like a cabin in the woods, or a marketplace, and we would write out a scene while incorporating the five senses into it.
"The woods were a little musty, and Aril observed particles of dust as they floated down the citrine sunbeams, like little boats cascading in slow motion down a titanic waterfall. It was just cold enough to make the hairs on the back of his neck stand up, and dull whatever he could smell of the place, but there was still that faint scent of an unnatural... thing. Something ancient and rotting, and not quite chemical although he almost tasted ammonia in the assaulting concoction. It was a substance hidden within the magical pretense of the abandoned cottage. He felt the coin in his pocket, his good luck charm; it had been with him through the ages, and its faces were worn smooth by his fiddlings. With a couple circles of his thumb over its edge, he hoped it would see him through to the end of this situation, too."
I'd write more but I just woke up and am headed for work lol.
One other piece of advice I guess is, read literature that you like and would want to emulate in your own writing, dissect it, even. What makes this scene powerful/emotional/feel hazardous? Are the protag's goals being realistically hindered by this or that, and are the stakes high enough? Etcetera.
Good luck!

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